by Lacey Black
Should be easy, right?
Chapter Four
Mack
No doubt she felt that shock. I could see it in her eyes and across her beautiful face. There’s still a spark, a strike of electricity I’ve only ever experienced with Lena Stanley. But I also saw something else on her face. Fear. She’s afraid of it. What it means. The feelings they evoke.
Me too, Lena. Me too.
That’s why I pull back and move out of her personal space. I don’t want to scare her any more than I already have, or at least cause her to reconsider this entire situation. Fuck knows what I’ll do if she up and leaves. Sure, I’d probably figure out this whole baby thing, but the fact I’m supposed to work out with the guys in the morning, followed by a team meeting and a conference call with my major sponsor, I wouldn’t have the slightest clue how to achieve all of that with a baby in tow.
That’s just day one. I have a shit ton of team meetings, track time, and sponsorship bullshit to do, as part of my contracts. Usually, I thrive on everything associated with the business—well, I could do with less of the sponsor bullshit—but throwing Oliver into the mix is really messing with my head.
And here I thought it couldn’t get any worse than my winless season and barely cracking into the top five at the end of each race.
“So I mentioned there was no race this weekend, but I still have tons of commitments this week. My guys and I work out at headquarters most mornings, and that’s followed by meetings with my team and the brass in the office. There’ll be track time too, as well as travel. You know all of the shit that goes with it, so I’m sure it’s no surprise to you my time isn’t my own. That’s why I need you.”
She sighs. “I get it, Mack. I’ll do what I can to help. Though, I have to admit, I’m not a baby expert. The only reason I knew how to change his diaper earlier was from watching a YouTube video,” she replies with a chuckle. “I have a lot to learn.”
I can’t stop myself from reaching for her hand. “We’ll figure this out. Together.”
She clears her throat but doesn’t pull back. “So talk to me about after. I mean, what’s your plan at the end of my six weeks?”
The thought of her leaving makes my chest hurt, but I push it aside and refuse to acknowledge it. “I guess I’m going to need help. Maybe you can help me vet someone, like a nanny?”
“Yeah, sure. I can start checking with services in the area. You’re sure to have plenty of choices in Los Angeles, right?”
My smile doesn’t reach my eyes, and I know it. “Yep.” I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone. “I use this calendar app on my phone that keeps me on track with everything going on. The office has it and sends notifications and appointments through it. It might not hurt to put it on your phone, so you can see everything.”
Lena shrugs. “That’s fine,” she says with a yawn.
“We can do that tomorrow,” I tell her, sliding my phone into my pocket. “Why don’t we get you to the guest room? It has its own bathroom, so you won’t have to share with anyone.” Like me.
As she yawns a second time, I head to the stairs, to where Fish left her luggage. I quickly check on Oliver to make sure he’s sleeping comfortably and then grab her rolling suitcase. She takes her carry-on bag and follows behind me as we make our way up the stairs.
When we reach the hall, I head to the door on the right. “That one’ll be Oliver’s room one of these days,” I say, pushing open the closed door. “I had planned to use it as a home office, but never really got around to putting it together,” I tell her, noting the boxes and random crap that’s been piled in the room. It’s where I had planned to put a trophy case, but just haven’t gotten around to buying or building anything for it.
“It’ll be a great room,” she tells me, glancing around at the plain white walls and basic beige carpet.
“I guess I’ll be getting a jump on his room sooner, rather than later,” I say, pulling the door shut behind me.
Lena shrugs. “You have time. Most parents put their babies in their room with them for the first few months. At least, that’s what I was reading on some of the parenting blogs. As long as you keep him in his own bed and don’t plan to co-sleep.”
“Oh, hell no. I’m an active sleeper,” I say.
The look on her face lets me know she remembers exactly how fitful I’d always slept back when we shared a bed. “I do recall,” she whispers with a sly grin.
My cock jumps in my shorts, and I do my best to keep her from noticing the sudden appearance of another Lena-fan in the room. Images of her lying in bed—no, don’t go there, man. Picturing her naked and tangled up in the sheets won’t help the situation in your pants.
Like now.
“This one’s yours,” I say, and love the way it feels so damn good to say that. Opening the door, she steps inside the guest room. Fish uses this room when he crashes here, so at least it’s in better shape than the other room. “Fish threw clean sheets on the bed this morning. I think he keeps some clothes in one of the drawers, but you’re welcome to the other ones. The bathroom’s through there. Make yourself at home.” I set her suitcase down on top of the mattress so she has easy access.
“Thanks,” she replies, glancing around.
“Well, I’ll let you get settled. Just call out if you need me.”
She turns back, our eyes meeting once more. “I should be fine.”
And she will be. I leave her in peace to unpack, wondering if this is really a good idea. I could have easily called an agency to send someone to help me. I probably could have hired a nanny by end of day today and not bothered Lena, but when the going got tough, that’s not what I did. Right or wrong, we’re in this together, at least for now.
Until she heads back to Kansas.
***
“Where have ya been?” one of the members of my pit crew, Johnny, says as I enter the gym at CD Enterprises.
“Around,” I reply with a head nod as I make my way to the locker room to change. Most of my crew is already in the gym, but my crew chief, Ben Cooper, is still hanging near the sinks. “Hey, man,” I say, heading for my locker.
Coop turns his gray eyes on me. He’s nearly ten years older than I am, with two young kids and a wife. I’ve always looked up to Coop and leaned on his expertise when I was a rookie. Now, I not only listen to him as a valuable part of my team, but as my friend. “You holding up?” he asks, the concern evident on his face.
When all this shit went down with social services showing up and handing me my baby, Ben was the first call I made after Fish. He listened, offered his support, and promised we’d get through this together. He’s also the one who made the call to the big boss, Colton. This isn’t exactly something you try to hide from those you’re closest to.
“Not too bad. Got a little more sleep last night than the night before,” I tell him, as I shuck my sweatpants and retie the drawstring on the shorts underneath.
“And the girl?”
I close my locker and turn to face the man who runs my team like a seasoned ship captain. “A huge help. She agreed to stay and help, at least for a handful of weeks.”
Together, we head for the door. Before we push through, Coop grabs my arm and stops me. My eyebrows shoot upward in question. “Is she going to be a problem?” he asks.
Instantly, I stiffen my spine and pull back, on edge. “No.”
Coop watches me for several seconds, as if trying to figure out if I’m shitting him or not. “Okay,” he finally replies, releasing my arm. “Promise me, Mack, if she becomes a problem, you tell me. I need to know what’s going on in your head at all times, okay? We can deal with it together.”
Frustrated, I huff, “Lena’s not a problem to deal with, Coop. She’s an old friend, and she’s helping me figure out how to adjust to suddenly becoming a full-time dad.”
Coop doesn’t miss a beat. “An old friend you’ve been in love with forever.” I open my mouth to refute, but nothing comes out. “I’m not trying to g
ive you a hard time, Mack, but I do know how problems with the fairer sex can wreak havoc on a guy’s mojo, and the last thing I want is for problems to arise with our team. That’s all.”
I get it. Truly, I do. He’s concerned about me as his driver, as his friend. But he also has a lot of other concerns to consider. The team, my sponsors, my status as a CD Enterprise driver, and to him, Lena is a huge unknown. She’s a new development, a mysterious factor that’s suddenly thrown into the mix.
Sighing, I turn to one of my oldest and closest friends in Los Angeles. “Thank you. I promise to let you know if she poses a problem.”
He nods his head.
“But just so you know, you don’t have to worry about Lena.”
Coop gives me a sad smile. “I’m not worried about Lena, friend.” And then he pushes through the door and enters the loud gym.
The music is pulsing when I enter and quickly go over that day’s workout schedule. It’s leg day, which always sucks. I’ll be sore as hell later. Half the time, after a leg workout, I crash on the sofa so I don’t have to use the stairs. Now that I have Oliver to take care of, I’m not so sure this workout is in my best interest. But I also know it’s what I need right now. The release. So I tuck in my fucking skirt and get to work with my team.
An hour later, I’m covered in sweat and ready to cry uncle. With my hands on my knees, I suck in greedy gulps of sweet oxygen and glance to Jones, lying on the ground beside me. “You alive?” I ask.
“Everything hurts,” he pants.
“Quit your belly aching,” Coop hollers from across the room, a sadistic grin on his face. Coop leads by example and works out right alongside us, but he has the stamina of a teenager when it comes to running, and thinks everyone should be able to run five miles on a treadmill every other day like it’s nothing.
“No belly aching here, Coop. I was just telling Cruz how great I feel,” Jones wheezes, making us all laugh.
“I think because Fish is missing these important workouts, he has to do double when he gets back,” my gasman, Chief, adds. He’s lying on a bench, his hands in his wet hair.
“Pssh,” I snort. “The only double in Fish’s vocabulary is a cheeseburger.”
We all have a good laugh, at my friend’s expense, until Coop breaks it up. “All right, guys, let’s get showered and ready for the team meeting. I hear they’re bringing in Italian for lunch.”
After a quick shower, I take a seat on the bench in front of my locker and fire off a text to Lena.
Me: Just finished workout. How’s Oliver?
Her reply takes a few minutes, long enough for me to get fresh clothes on before my phone dings with a response.
Lena: Two words. Diaper. Blowout. *insert gagging emoji*
I laugh out loud, drawing the attention of everyone in the locker room. Instantly, comments echo through the room about what I’m hiding, that I must be texting a girl since I’m smiling, and bets in general with who I’m suddenly sleeping with. You know, typical guy, locker room bullshit.
Ignoring them, I type out a reply.
Me: Sorry to hear, but honestly, glad it wasn’t me. *insert laughing emoji*
Lena: Laugh it up now. You’ll have your turn later.
My mind flashes to something dirty, and I’m not talking about my son’s diaper. I’m picturing Lena, maybe splayed out on my bed, ready for me to do all the dirty things I’ve been dreaming about for the last few years.
Me: I’m sure my turn is coming. Off to a team meeting. If you need me, text. I don’t usually keep my phone on, but I will. Coop knows what’s going on.
Lena: I’m sure we’ll be fine.
Two minutes later, when I’m completely ready to head to the conference room, my phone lights up again.
Lena: Deliveries are here. Lots of stuff. Be ready to assemble, Cruz.
I smirk at the device in my hand and fire off a reply.
Me: I’m always ready, Lean. I’ll bring supper home.
Lena: Have a good day.
Me: You too.
I slip my phone into my pocket and don’t even try to hide the smile on my face. It feels damn good to be communicating with her again. We’ve quickly fallen back into a familiar routine, one that has lain dormant for a few years, but is easy to slip back into now. Of course, having her in my house and helping care for my son does make it a bit easier, but it’s more than that. It’s not just us sharing a living space. It’s sharing a past.
And hopefully a future.
The conference room is bustling when I push through the door. Coop is at the head of the table, the chair to his right empty. That’s where the brass from the office will sit, often Colton himself. He’s very involved in his teams, in the company he built. Truth be told, it’s one of the main reasons I signed with him. Sure, he’s Colton fucking Donavan, a legend in open-wheel racing, but it’s more than that. It’s his passion for the industry, his business, and his family.
“Let’s get started. We have Mid-Ohio coming up, and I want to be ready,” Coop says, as we all take our seats and prepare to discuss the upcoming race. Sure, we have a weekend break before then, but we don’t waste time when it comes to preparing for a race. Especially not since my year hasn’t exactly been what I was hoping for.
What we all were hoping for.
There’s still time to salvage points standings. I’m not too far behind that with a little hard work and a few top-five finishes, I could be right back in the hunt for a championship. I came close last year, only my second year in the series, and I ended at number five. This year, my goal was champion. I have the team, the sponsors, and the drive to win, but I can’t seem to close. I still haven’t figured out what’s changed this year over last, but I will.
I need a good season. The analysts and industry leaders are starting to chirp about last year being a fluke. Fuck them. It wasn’t a fluke. But so far, I haven’t been able to back up my claims. The last thing I want is my sponsors to think I’m a one-hit wonder. Or, a three-hit wonder, in my case. I had a big win toward the end of my rookie season and followed it up by two wins last year. But this year? Nada.
Time to fix that.
Buckling down, I listen to Coop talk strategy. Of course, that may change when we actually get the car on the track and run some laps. Next week, I’ll be behind the wheel again, and I’m damn sure looking forward to it. I hate off weeks. I’d rather be driving, doing what I love. The guys throw out suggestions for car handling and improving fuel efficiency, and the ideas are flowing like wine as our food is delivered to the meeting room.
“Let’s take a break to eat some grub. After, we’ll head to the shop and check out the Ohio car,” he says, standing up and stretching his back and shaking out his legs.
My own legs protest when I stand up and head over to the food table. There are pans of lasagna, salad, and garlic breadsticks, and my mouth waters. I was able to inhale a quick protein bar on my way out the door this morning, but since Oliver arrived, my eating schedule is way off. Except for the beef and noodles last night, I haven’t eaten much in two days.
When our plates are full and we’re all shoveling it in at the table, I decide to share a bit of news with the crew. “So I have something to say,” I tell my team. Coop looks up and nods his head, knowing what’s coming.
I clear my throat and set my fork down. “I had a bit of a shock two days ago, and the reason is why I wasn’t here yesterday.”
Jones grins. “Twenty says it’s about a woman.”
The guys chuckle and I flash a smile. “I guess, in a roundabout way, it is.” Deep breath. “Apparently, I have a son.”
I’m met with silence in the room, so I go on. “His name is Oliver, and he’s three weeks old. The kicker is I’m now a full-time dad. His mom passed away.”
Forks drop around the table as many sets of wide eyes gape back at me. “Dude, you’re serious?” Jones asks, sitting back in his seat.
“As a heart attack.”
“That’s fucked up,�
�� Chief contributes.
Pete, one of my tire changers, speaks next. “So you didn’t know about him?” he asks with a skeptical glance.
I’m already shaking my head as I reply. “No. I had no clue, honestly.” I decide to go ahead and give them the full story, trusting each of these guys with my life. “Do you remember Renee?”
A few snickers are heard around the table. Everyone is well aware of my relationship with Renee. It wasn’t public, but when you work as closely as I do with these guys, hanging out nonstop, especially at races, everyone’s got their nose in my business. “Of course we do,” one of them replies.
“Well, about ten months or so ago, we hung out. It was after a race, and I was, uh, looking to blow off a little steam.” No one says anything. No judgment is made, so I press on. “Anyway, she was fired not too long after that, remember? Well, I haven’t seen or spoken to her since. Apparently, she was pregnant, but didn’t say anything to me. She had a stroke a few days ago and passed away. Her mom has cancer, but said her daughter talked about me as the father. Social services showed up with my kid, and now I’m a dad full time.”
No one really says anything for several long minutes, and that’s okay. I know they’re just processing the information I dropped in their laps. “So now what?” Jones finally asks.
I lean back in my own chair. “I have a friend who’s helping me with him. She’s staying for about six weeks, and after that, I’ll use a nanny.” Just saying those words makes my heart kick up a few beats. “But the point of all this is, I’m determined to do my best for you all. I won’t let this interfere with my driving, guys. I’m committed to this team, to doing the very best.”
Chief blows out a breath. “Of course you will, man. We’ve never once questioned your loyalty or your ability. We know you’ll do what it takes.”