“Nothing about KATO is lucky,” he said. “How did you get shot?” Travis kept his voice even, but I noticed his eyes fixed on the spot that was bleeding beneath the jacket.
“Nikki knocked out Chin Ho and locked him in a closet. He got out somehow,” I said. “He cornered me and shot at me, but missed. I fought him off and for a little while neither of us had guns. He went after his at one point so I went for mine.” I swallowed and looked away. I couldn’t look at him while I told the rest, and my voice dropped to a low whisper. “I had him on the ground right in front of me. I wanted to kill him so badly. But I couldn’t.” My voice broke. “I pulled the trigger, but I didn’t hit anyplace that would put him down for good. I hoped he would bleed out.”
“Hey.” Travis had his hand on the back of my head, trying to get me to face him, but I wouldn’t do it. “Jocelyn, look at me.” I still didn’t move. “Please.” There was a desperate edge to his voice that pulled at me. I turned my head up. His eyes were intense and firm, and his voice matched them when he spoke. “That wasn’t weakness.”
I stood up to get away from him, pacing ever so slightly in front of him. A small humorless laugh got away from me. “How is it not? I had, in front of me, the person who has caused me more pain in the past ten years than most people ever experience in a lifetime. He did it to me, and he’s done it to others—maybe even Eliza.” Anger ignited inside of me. “And I could have ended it all. But I didn’t. Instead, I got shot and jeopardized a mission.”
“You’re trained to be a killer,” he said, and paused until I stopped pacing and looked at him. “You’re trained to believe that ending lives solves problems. It would have been easy to kill him. And if I had been the one that got to him, his blood would have been all over that facility for what he’s done to you.” I stepped away, feeling worse, but Travis was in my face, with a hand on me in seconds. “It takes more strength than I have not to put him down, especially given everything.”
I shuddered and looked at the ground. “It doesn’t feel that way.”
He stepped back so he could drop his head and find my eyes. “Trust me.”
I looked up at him and I wanted to. At least for now. I sighed. “I’m sorry we couldn’t get to Dr. Foster in time.”
“I don’t want to think about that right now,” he said. “But I do need to look at your shoulder. And this time I’m not asking.” He arched his eyebrows pointedly at me and I nodded. He sat me back down on the edge of the bed, then he lifted the jacket off my shoulder, untied the makeshift tourniquet, and gently shifted my clothes so he could get a good look at the wound. He poked in exactly the wrong spot and I cried out. “Sorry,” he said, glancing up. “The bullet’s still in there. The good news is it looks like it’s lodged in your tissue, which is the best-case scenario. Bad news is I’m going to have to get it out.”
“Can’t it wait until we get back?”
“It could if we knew for sure we’d be on a plane in less than forty-eight hours. But if something goes wrong and that doesn’t happen you’re going to have a problem.”
I swallowed. I had never had a bullet removed from me in the field, and I’d never had anything like this done when I wasn’t heavily drugged. “Have you done this before?”
He looked uneasy. “Yeah,” he said. “But never with anyone as sober and aware as you’re going to be.”
I exhaled deeply. Strangely not feeling the aftermath trigger nearly at all. “I can handle it.”
He tilted his head and I knew he wasn’t convinced.
“You said this can’t wait until we’re extracted,” I said.
“No,” he said. “It can’t.”
“Then we really don’t have a choice, do we?” I sounded more sure than I felt.
Travis shook his head slowly.
“Get what you need and let’s get this started.”
“Lie on the floor,” he said, grabbing a pillow from the bed and dropping it at my feet. “It’ll keep you more stable than anything else in this place.”
I eased myself onto the ground as Travis moved around the room, picking up the first aid bag and a bottle of alcohol. He also built a fire in the fireplace. I knew why we needed the fire, but I wasn’t ready to think about that yet. “Give me a minute to get Nikki,” he said.
He came back with Nikki right behind him. I swallowed hard as he sat down next to me, and Nikki settled at my head.
“You know,” she said, “when I ask you if you’re okay, and you’ve got a gunshot wound, the right answer isn’t yes.”
I gave her a halfhearted smile that she didn’t return.
Travis held a thick piece of rope in front of my mouth for me to bite on. “Try to keep your arm across your ribs,” he said. I nodded.
“What do you need me to do?” Nikki asked.
“Keep her from moving.” He started to cut the clothes around the wound. I winced when he poured alcohol over it.
Travis picked up a knife and cut my shoulder open a little bit wider. I cried out and tried not to squirm, but I couldn’t help it. Travis’s hand was on my face. “Hey.” He spoke gently. “I know it’s hard but I need you to stay as still as you can.”
“I know,” I grunted out, talking around the rope. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” He looked deep into my eyes, trying to transfer some calm.
“Focus on me,” Nikki said. “No matter what happens or what Travis does, keep your eyes on me. Okay?”
I breathed through my nose, fighting the pain. “Yeah. Okay. Just—go.” I hated the desperation that crept into my voice.
Travis brushed a hand over my forehead. “Stay with me.”
I nodded. His fingers lingered in my hair for another moment, then he grabbed the towels and pushed them into my hands so I’d have something to hold on to. He picked up the knife again and continued to widen the wound. I dug my fingers into the towels, gripping them so hard the cotton cut into me.
“You’re doing good,” Travis said, concentrating intently on my shoulder.
I panted through my nose and let out a cry of relief when the knife lifted off my skin.
“We’re really getting into it now.” He sterilized a pair of medical-grade tweezers. “I need to dig for the bullet and pull it out.”
I fought to slow my heart down, but it was useless. “Do it,” I grunted.
He gave me a hesitant look, like he didn’t think I understood how much this would hurt. “Do everything you can to stay still,” he said, looking more to Nikki than me. Nikki nodded.
“Okay.” I tightened my fists around the towels. “Let’s go.”
He gave me one final look. “Keep your eyes on Nikki. Once I’m in there, I’m not coming out until I have the bullet. It’ll be better that way.”
I nodded. Travis turned back to my shoulder and I looked back to Nikki. She gave me an encouraging smile that only lasted for a moment. The tweezers brushed the edge of my wound. I focused on Nikki’s eyes as she hovered over me as much as she could without getting in Travis’s way. Then he hit something. The pain spiraled through my entire right side and I couldn’t stay still. I was only vaguely aware of the tears streaming down the side of my face.
Nikki tried to hold me steady, but I was in too much pain.
“What did you do?” she asked him. But he wasn’t paying attention to her.
“It’s okay.” Travis held my face in his hands. “You’re okay. I just hit a nerve. Give it a minute to pass.”
I breathed through my nose, trying not to throw up. The pain still echoed through me as I found my way back to Travis. He was leaning over me, searching my eyes, trying to anchor me. He came out without the bullet, despite what he promised. “Keep going.”
He scanned my face like he was trying to read my mind. “You sure you’re ready for more?”
“Please. Just do it.” My voice was bare
ly more than a whisper through the rope.
He nodded, never breaking my gaze. “I’m going to try a different angle.”
He stepped around and settled above my head to try coming at the bullet from above. He directed Nikki to my left side, away from the injury. She was out of my field of vision, so this time I focused on Travis’s forehead. His face was scrunched in concentration and his thought wrinkles were deep. I felt the tweezers back on the edge of my wound. They scraped through tissue and I squeezed my eyes tight.
“Come on, Raven. Stay with me.”
I forced my eyes open again.
“Good.” He sounded a little out of breath. “You’re doing great.”
I focused on his eyelashes. They were long and dark enough to make a girl jealous.
The tap of the tweezers around the bullet made me shudder. Travis froze. “Sorry,” I said. Breathless pain tinged my voice.
“It’s okay.” He paused for a moment. “Listen, Jocelyn. I have the bullet. All I have to do is pull it out.”
“Okay.”
“It’s going to hurt like hell, but I need you to not move. If you do, I may hit another nerve.” His voice was calm, but I could hear the intensely serious undertone.
“I get it.” I gritted my teeth and clutched the towels.
“Nikki, I need you to hold both of her shoulders.”
“Both?” There was a fair amount of uncertainty in her voice.
“It’ll hurt, but it will be worse if she moves.”
“Okay.” She still didn’t sound sure, but she did what he asked. The pain in my shoulder intensified, but I told myself it would only be for another moment.
Travis took a deep breath. “One.” He studied my face. I braced myself. “Two.” He ripped the bullet out of my shoulder and this time I cried out, the rope falling out of my mouth. It was like he’d hit every nerve in my body. I rolled onto my shoulder, trying to protect it. Tears streamed down my face and I struggled to get enough air to breathe. Then I felt Travis and Nikki pulling me back over, onto my back. Travis propped my head up on his knees. “Don’t do that. You’re going to make it worse.” He grabbed the alcohol and poured it into the hole in my shoulder. I tried to roll in the other direction, but Travis put the bottle down quickly and kept me still. “Just let it settle,” he whispered. He had one hand draped across my collarbone, and the other holding my good shoulder in place.
I panted and squirmed. My heart slammed against my ribs. “I can’t breathe.” My voice broke. “I can’t—”
“I know.” He moved his hand from my collarbone up to my hairline. “Give it a minute.”
I swallowed and focused on taking each breath in. The agony eventually evaporated, but my shoulder was still killing me. I had never felt this much pain sober.
He squeezed me a little bit tighter. “We’re almost done. I just—I just have to cauterize the wound.”
I closed my eyes tight, and nodded. “I can handle it.”
Travis looked disgusted at the prospect. “You’ve been burned enough.” His fingers brushed my old scar. “I hate that I have to do it again.”
I tried to smile. “It’s okay. I know what to expect.”
He exhaled heavily, not feeling any better. The fireplace was above my head. I could hear the wood shifting. Travis pressed his elbow into my good shoulder and his forearm across my collarbone, holding me in place. “Are you ready?”
I nodded and rolled my head into his stabilizing arm. Nikki grabbed my hand and squeezed. I closed my eyes and braced for the pain. I heard Travis lift the rod out of the fire. A few seconds later my shoulder exploded. I screamed into Travis’s arm and he tightened his hold on me. I wasn’t sure how long it lasted, but I was left gasping through tears.
He rubbed my hair, trying to soothe me. And the truth is, his being there kind of did.
“I need to do it one more time,” he said. “It’s not fully closed.”
I was tired and sick to my stomach. I just wanted to be done, but I nodded into his arm. He dug his elbow into my good shoulder again, and I buried my face deeper into his bicep. This time he didn’t hesitate before lowering the rod to my skin. We both wanted this over with.
Travis leaned over my wound when he pulled the rod away. “All right,” he said. “It’s closed.”
I felt every muscle relax with relief. Then the door opened. It was Rachel.
“What the hell is going on in here?” she asked. I rolled back into Travis’s arm. She was the last person I wanted to see me like this.
“She had a bullet in her shoulder,” Nikki said.
“Well, give her something,” Rachel snapped. “Before we have the neighbors reporting us.”
I felt the muscles in Travis’s arms tighten.
Nikki stood up to face her. “Get out.”
“What?” Rachel sounded stunned.
“Go!” Travis practically growled at her. A few seconds later, the door slammed shut.
“Let’s get you into a bed,” Travis said, calmer, propping me up a little bit more.
“No.” I tried to move away from him. “I want to stay here.”
“You’re not going to get the rest you need here.” He sounded stressed and tired. “It’s not that far. Nikki and I will help you.”
I grimaced, but nodded and let them pull me to my feet. I staggered when we started walking, but they were quick to stabilize me.
“Easy,” Travis said. He had my good arm draped around his neck, letting me lean against him for support. They got me over to the bed and eased me onto the edge. “Go check on Rachel and Cody,” he said to Nikki. “I’ve got her.” Nikki nodded, then gave me a final concerned look before leaving.
Once she was gone, Travis slipped in behind me, lying next to my good side. He slid his arm under my neck and along my collarbone again, only this time he was tilting my head onto his shoulder and away from the bullet hole.
“What are you doing?” I asked, barely able to get the words out through the exhaustion and pain.
“Making sure you don’t move too much. If you pull the skin you could reopen the wound and we’ll have to do it all over again.” He squeezed me.
I rested my head on his shoulder and sighed. “Thank you.”
“Get some rest.”
I felt myself finally relax and drift off to sleep.
Chapter Thirty-Four
ESCAPE
I startled awake and sat up straight. Pain shot through my shoulder and I stifled my reaction.
“Take it easy,” Travis said, annoyed, pressing me back down. “You lost a lot of blood, and it wasn’t like we had any way of replacing it.”
I swallowed the pain and took a few deep breaths. “How long did I sleep for?”
“A few hours.” He leaned over me to take a look at the wound. “This looks good.” He rubbed some antiseptic cream on it and I tried not to flinch. Then he covered the area with gauze and taped it into place.
I struggled to sit up straighter and this time he let me. “We’ve got to start moving,” I said, wincing as I felt my injury with every slight movement.
“The others left a little while ago. We’re trying to stagger our exits.” He arched his eyebrows. “They’re going to call us when we’re ready to go, but I don’t think I’m really liking the idea of moving you.”
I shrugged my good shoulder. “It’s not like we have a choice. The longer we stay here, the more likely it is that KATO is going to find us. If they figure out I haven’t left, they’ll scour the country looking for me.”
Travis gave me a hard look. “If we go now and get ambushed, there’s no way we’re going to be able to hold off an attack,” he said. “Not with the condition you’re in.”
I rolled my eyes. “It’s going to be a little while before I can put up that kind of a fight. If we’re going to make it out of this coun
try we need to move now. Before they figure out we’re still here. It’s the only chance we’re going to get.”
His lips thinned and his eyebrow furrowed. He knew I was right, I could tell. Now he was just trying to come up with a way around it. After a few moments, he nodded. “Okay.” He rooted through the backpack. “But first, lie back.”
“What?” I asked. “Why?”
“Dr. March walked me through your acupuncture treatments. You have to be feeling it right now. If we’re going to pull this off, I don’t want to have to worry about that.”
“The only thing I feel is the pain, which I’m guessing you can’t do anything for,” I said, and it was the truth. I would have taken anything for the pain if it wouldn’t jeopardize what I’d worked for.
A sympathetic expression crossed his face. “Trust me, if I could do something for that, I would.”
“I know,” I said, smiling lightly. “The craving isn’t that bad.”
He considered me carefully. “I’d feel better if we did this to be sure.”
I bit my lip and nodded, then lay back down. Travis sat down on the edge of the bed. He brushed my hair away from my ears and gently pushed the needles in.
He pulled them out after fifteen minutes. “You good?”
“Yeah.” I sat up.
He held my eyes for another moment, then started moving around the room, packing things into the backpack. “Can you fire a gun with one hand?”
“Not as accurately,” I said, “but I can hit my target.”
He nodded and tossed me a gun. I caught it easily with my left hand. “I’ll get in touch with Command and let them know we’re ready. Then we’ll move.” He threw a balled-up piece of cloth at me. “Put that on. If you argue with me, we’re not going.”
I held it up and saw he’d made a sling for my arm. I took it without complaint and dragged myself into the bathroom with a change of clothes to try to get myself together. I flicked on the light. There were three bulbs, but only one of them was working. I struggled into a clean tank top and slipped the sling over my shoulder. Then I stared at myself in the mirror. My hair was flat, limp, and hung loosely around my face. My eyes were bloodshot with dark circles around them, and my face was startlingly pale, which I suspected was from the blood loss. I splashed some water on my face, leaned over the sink, and forced myself to breathe easy. We made it out of KATO, but we weren’t safe yet. If they caught us now, Travis and the others would be dead, and I didn’t even want to think about what they’d do to me.
Crossing the Line Page 28