by Lexi Cross
The rage tore into his chest. Good thing Matteo hadn’t come to do this himself. Ryder might have ripped his limbs from his body. Maybe that was exactly why he wasn’t here. He knew Ryder could overpower him, could kill him easily if he tried. Even without his guns and knives.
But Ryder didn’t react to Lorenzo’s words.
“You know, the big mob boss?” Lorenzo asked. “So, let me paint this picture for you. If Solano finds out you’ve been banging his future wife, he’s not going to be too happy. Matteo might let you live, but no one’s going to convince Solano to do the same. Not only that, he might take out his anger on Pia. I don’t think she can handle much physical abuse, if you know what I mean.” Lorenzo patted him on the shoulder. “It’s really for her safety that you’re doing this. I’d hate to think little Pia would face the wrath of Solano all because of you.”
Ryder’s head was starting to spin. It wasn’t all from what Lorenzo was saying, though that was hard enough. His injuries were severe and standing too long hurt. He needed to sit down. Maybe put his head between his knees to stop his ears from ringing.
“I might add, too.” Lorenzo leaned in to whisper. “If Matteo knows that you messed up this thing with Solano, he’s not going to be too happy with either of you. And he didn’t want me to tell you this, but he told me he’d take Pia out because he couldn’t have the shame of having a slutty daughter who was rejected by such a big mob name.”
How could a father honestly do that to his own daughter? Something was seriously wrong with this man. Ryder didn’t even have a baby, just the promise of one, and he already felt so protective of this child that he was willing to risk his life. Yet, here was Matteo, ready to off his own daughter out of shame. What a monster. If he’d been wavering before, he was sure now. He would kill Matteo. No matter what happened with Pia, he would take him out for her sake. Her life would be better without such a horrible father who didn’t love her like he should.
Ryder thought he was actually going to puke. He was going to have to make it look like he was ending things with Pia. Which meant it would have to be believable. If it wasn’t, Lorenzo would know. But this would keep her safe, he reminded himself. No matter how badly it hurt to say the words he was about to say, he had to do it and do it well. It would only be temporary.
He didn’t know how temporary, but he would kill who he had to kill and come get her and they would be safe and be together. He just hoped that she would realize what he was doing. That she would know in her core that he wouldn’t leave her like this. That he would never end things. That he wouldn’t abandon her and their child. Never.
But if she didn’t believe him, would Lorenzo? It was starting to make his brain hurt, and his stomach was so tight he wasn’t sure he could walk. He didn’t want to have to look in her eyes and say what needed to be said. But he also saw no way around it.
It would be okay, he told himself. Even if she believed him, whatever pain it would cause her would only be for a short time. Then it would all be over. She’d be relieved to have him back and know he never meant it. And then they’d be happy.
Lorenzo took out his gun and pointed it at Ryder’s head. “We’re going in there and there are two ways this is going to go down. Either you’re going to break up with her and everyone lives, or you decide to do something even stupider than what you’ve already done, and you end up dead. Got it?”
Ryder nodded once.
“Okay.” He nudged Ryder’s shoulder with his gun. “Walk.”
Chapter 13
Pia sat up when her room door opened, startled from the sudden movement and sound. She squinted in the new light when Lorenzo flipped the light switch on. Then she saw Ryder come into the room.
He looked awful. Dried blood in multiple places on his face, swollen and bruised. They’d beat him good. Her immediate shock at seeing him enter the room was replaced with anger at her father and his men for doing this to him.
But why was he here now? What could this possibly mean? Were they bringing him to beat him more, in front of her? What if they were bringing him here to kill him in front of her? No. Her father wouldn’t stoop that low, would he?
Lorenzo closed the door and left him in there. Alone with her. Something about this wasn’t right.
“Ryder?” she asked, her voice small. She tugged at the handcuffs still binding her wrists to the bed.
He didn’t look at her and wouldn’t come near her.
“What’s going on?” she asked. “Why did they bring you here and leave you here like this?”
He finally looked at her. “They brought me in here because I asked them to.”
“That doesn’t make any sense. They’re letting us be together?”
He shook his head and looked away from her. “No. They’re not. I asked them to bring me here to talk to you so I could tell you that we have to end this.”
“End this?” Her voice shot up several octaves and she suddenly felt hysterical. After all that happened, after all they’d been through together, was he seriously saying this?
“I’m sorry. But it’s over between us.”
“No, no.” She shook her head, tears flowing down her cheeks. “Why are you saying this? Did they make you say this?”
“No.”
But he still wouldn’t look at her. That had to mean something, right? Of course they were making him do this. Just hours ago, he’d held her tight and said they’d never be apart. They were making plans to be together forever, to raise their baby and have a family. He wouldn’t just turn his back on her and abandon her and their child. He wouldn’t, and she couldn’t believe it of him.
“I don’t believe you,” she said quietly. “If they told you to say that, fine. I know how you really feel. That’s all I need to know.”
“No, you don’t.” His voice was suddenly harsh and his glare harsher. “I know all the pretty things I said to you to get in your pants. Don’t you think I’m a master at this game? I know how to charm. And I can do it whether I have real feelings or not. I’m sorry, Pia, I just don’t have real feelings for you. I never did.”
“Stop it.” Her tears were breaking into sobs. “They made you break up with me, fine. You don’t have to convince them you hate me, too. You’re just being cruel.”
“Apparently that’s what it takes to get through to you. I know it’s easier to go on believing that they’re making me say all of this. Who in the world would ever break up with Pia Carelli, right? How dare anyone mistreat daddy’s little princess? Well, I guess I proved you wrong. You can go back to all your little rich friends now and tell them how the bad boy broke your heart. How you were a victim, you were played. You can cry to them about how horrible I am. How horrible all men are.”
Pia shook her head. “No,” she whispered. “It’s not about that. We were going to run away together. Did you just forget all that? Did you forget everything?”
She looked down pointedly at her belly to indicate the baby. She wouldn’t say it or even hint at it. If her father didn’t know that, then he couldn’t know. And Ryder seemed to have the same assumption. He looked at her belly for a long moment, then met her eyes.
“It’s not a matter of forgetting. It’s a matter of not caring. You have your problems to deal with”—he looked again at her stomach—“and I have mine.”
“My problems?” Her lower lip quivered in disbelief. Was he really saying their baby was now her problem? That he didn’t care about it at all? If they didn’t know about the baby, they couldn’t be telling him to say that, though. So, did that mean he meant it? What if he meant all of it?
“Look, Pia, I am not going to screw myself over and ruin my life for some spoiled rich girl brat. I’m just not. What we had was fun, but that’s it. I told you I wanted to run away with you, but really, I just wanted the chance to fuck you again. And when we didn’t have to be so careful. I wanted to take you away, have my fill of you and then, when I was through, I would have left you.”
She didn�
�t say anything. She stared at him. At his cold eyes, his heartless stare. She had to close her eyes. The pain was too much. “Don’t do this.”
“It was fun while it lasted,” he said. “But now it’s done.”
“Come closer,” she whispered.
He didn’t budge.
“If it’s really over,” she said, her voice so low no one would be able to hear. “Then kiss me goodbye.”
He looked at her for a long while. She thought for a moment there was a glimmer of something there. Longing? Or could it just be lust? Everything he said in the last few minutes seemed at complete odds with everything he’d ever said to her when they were together.
Sure, she believed the bad boy player persona. And no doubt he’d played plenty of women just like he was claiming to do now. But he was different with her. He was as different with her as she was with him. They were meant for each other. Were meant to be the one person in each other’s life who was the one to break through. To make the difference. To be the difference. To prove that life didn’t have to be how it was or how it was expected to be.
This couldn’t be the end. She loved him. She hadn’t realized it until recently, and she’d never told him. Well, he’d never told her either, but she felt loved. She thought he was in love with her, or falling in love with her. And she was in love with him. The father of her child. She was already in love with her child, and when she thought of the innocent little baby, anger flared in her to think he or she would be abandoned by its father. She wouldn’t let that happen. Wouldn’t let her child grow up with just one parent.
She would fight for him. When this was all over, she’d find him and she’d win him over. She’d get him back. She’d convince him that they should be together. That for the sake of their child, they had to be together.
But for right now, she needed him to kiss her. She would know everything in his kiss. He wouldn’t be able to hide his true feelings from her.
When he finally looked away, he turned from her and went to the door.
“Ryder!”
He didn’t glance back as he left the room.
She collapsed onto the bed in sobs. No. She’d needed to kiss him to know for sure. How would she know now if he meant it or not? He might have some amazing plan to free her and get them out of there together. Or he might really be breaking up with her and she might really be on her own with this baby.
How could she raise a baby on her own? And it would have to be completely on her own, without the help of her father or family, because her father would disown her. And the rest of her family would agree. You didn’t argue with the boss. She would have her friends. But none of them had babies. They wouldn’t understand what she was going through.
If she had to do that, fine. She’d figure out a way. She still had her shop. Her father couldn’t take that from her. It was all hers, and she made good money from it. If it came down to it and he really did cut her off, then she’d lose a lot. Her car, her phone, her credit cards. She would have to make some severe life changes, but what else could she do? At least she had a business that made money and she was her own boss. Lots of single moms didn’t have that. And, hard as it would be, there were lots of women out there who were single moms. They did it. She’d figure out a way, too.
She didn’t doubt she could do it. The problem was she didn’t want to. Every time she thought of not having Ryder by her side to be there, raising this baby, a pain went through her chest. She wanted him. And not just for the baby, but for everything. She wanted him just to do life with.
She refused to believe that she would be raising this baby alone. Her mind kept bringing back the way he’d held her, all the things he’d said. The look in his eyes when he found out he was going to be a father. She’d never forget that look, or how happy he’d been after it sunk in. He wanted this, too. No matter what he said now.
She had no idea what had happened to him in the time since her father’s men broke into their hotel room and just a few minutes ago, but it couldn’t be good. They might have said anything to him, threatened him, threatened her. They might have beat him more. Sure, he’d say whatever he had to in order to convince them.
But then, when she pictured the look in his eyes, her trust in him wavered. The look in his eyes had been so harsh. And the things he said? He didn’t have to go as far as he did. He’d been down right cruel. And she couldn’t deny that what he said about being a player was true. She knew that much about him.
What if she was wrong about him? She’d asked him to kiss her goodbye and he hadn’t even been able to do that.
She sat up suddenly, the tears coming to an abrupt halt. Wait a second. She’d asked him to kiss her goodbye and he hadn’t. He hadn’t said goodbye when he left the room either. That had to be a sign, right? He wouldn’t kiss her goodbye because it wasn’t goodbye.
She lay back on her bed, her eyes still sore and puffy from all her crying. But now her heart felt more settled. Until she saw him again and all this was over, she was going to believe the best. That he had said what he’d said because they made him. That it wasn’t over. That he hadn’t kissed her goodbye because it wasn’t goodbye. It wasn’t over.
Chapter 14
Ryder closed Pia’s door behind him. He wanted to cry. That was a feeling he couldn’t recall ever having before. He wasn’t the crying type. He didn’t tear up at movies or books or sentimental crap. He was tough through and through. But seeing the look on her face when he said those things to her? It made his throat burn.
He’d been so sure she wouldn’t believe him. And at first, sure enough, she didn’t. Good girl, he wanted to say. Except she kept saying that she didn’t. He almost growled in frustration. Didn’t she know they were listening? Watching? The cameras that had never been installed in her room before were there now. But she must not know that. So, he couldn’t give her any sort of sign or confirmation. They’d see whatever she saw.
And that would obviously blow the whole thing. He wanted her to catch on. To realize what was happening. To play along. She could have blown him off like, “Yeah I never wanted you either.” She didn’t have to cry like that. She didn’t have to tear his insides out right in front of him.
He felt awful for the things he’d said. He meant none of them, of course. God, how he wanted to go to her. To kiss her. When she’d asked him to kiss her, he almost did. He just wanted to feel her lips one more time. And maybe his kiss would tell her what he couldn’t. But then she’d said to kiss her goodbye. And he thought, okay, she finally caught on. And by not saying goodbye, that was a signal in itself. He hoped.
He wanted to run right back in there and take it all back, though. Every mean thing. It had been so much the opposite of what he really felt for her. He should have told her before. Earlier in the day. The night they were together. Some time. Any time. He should have said the words he’d been dancing around. The words right there in his mind. The ones he’d never said to any woman before. Never felt about any woman before. I love you. Three little words that meant so much. If he had told her, she’d know.
Love didn’t just vanish overnight. And if he said it, she would have known he meant it. And right now, she wouldn’t be in there crying and he wouldn’t want to do something very stupid to comfort her.
She looked so delicate sitting there on the bed in her handcuffs. Handcuffs. Was that really necessary? They’d gone too far. What was she going to do? Run? With guards sitting outside her door? She’d get about two feet. She really didn’t need the cuffs. It was a control tactic, a mental game. Matteo wanted her afraid and vulnerable. And oh, was she ever.
It went against everything he was as a man to walk away from the woman he loved, from his unborn baby. To walk away knowing they were in danger. That in saying it was over, those measly words were the only way to protect her now. It wasn’t enough. Words couldn’t be enough. He needed to be there, to stop anyone from coming near her.
A small part of him worried, though, that she did belie
ve him. If she believed him and was hurt enough, maybe she wouldn’t be with him. Maybe he’d hurt her too badly and she would turn from him if he came to save her. Maybe she no longer wanted him. He pushed the thought from his mind. He couldn’t allow that to be true. Pia was his and he was hers and it was that simple. They would have a family and a happy life. One day.
He stepped forward. Heard the door click shut. Lorenzo pushed off from the wall and handed the mobile monitor back to the guard.
“Nice work,” Lorenzo said. “She’s in there bawling her eyes out over you. If Matteo had any doubt of her feelings before, he sure doesn’t now.”
Lorenzo shoved him hard toward the stairs. He begged in his mind, Pia, stop crying. Don’t make it more obvious what we have or had. Don’t give them more than they need to know.
But she didn’t know these games. Didn’t know how to play or when she was being played. She probably thought no one knew she was crying. Thought she was being quiet enough to hide it. But no. They were watching and listening to her every move. He hoped she’d figure it out soon.