by Tracy Brown
Robin smirked. She knew he wanted another taste. And so did she. “All right,” she said. “It’ll be our little secret.” She gave Ishmael her number and they headed out to the parking lot. Once he dropped her back off at Charly’s, Ishmael peeled out and headed for Staten Island.
CHAPTER SIX
All or Nothing
Rah-lo couldn’t believe his eyes. He sat in his car outside of his house and watched as Asia snuck Neo out of the house’s side entrance. Rah-lo had been away from home for three days. He had been staying at the house he had once shared with Celeste. That house held a lot of memories for Rah-lo, and it helped him come to a difficult decision. Celeste was long gone and he hadn’t been truly happy since she left. He decided that he would try to talk to his wife one last time, try to honestly explain to her what was making him unhappy. Rah-lo felt that he owed it to his daughters—and to himself—to try to get Asia to change.
But now it was close to two thirty in the afternoon, and his daughters would be returning home from school at any moment. Rah-lo had hoped to surprise his daughters by being home to greet them when they got back. Instead, he was the one surprised. He was shocked to see Asia and his archrival slipping out of the side door of Rah-lo’s house. His instinct was to rush across the street and kill both of them for having the balls to rendezvous in the house he owned. But rather than go ballistic Rah-lo calmly walked across the street. Outwardly, he was cool, but inside, Rah-lo was enraged.
He walked toward Asia and Neo, now standing in the side yard. Asia spotted Rah-lo as he approached them, and she panicked. “Oh, shit!” She turned to run back inside the house as Neo looked on. Rah-lo caught her by the collar of her shirt and snatched her backward, yanking her back into the yard. Asia stumbled and Rah-lo jerked her upright again, pulling her face to within inches of his.
“You got this muthafucka in my house, Asia? In my muthafuckin’ house?” Rah-lo’s voice boomed, and Neo instinctively stepped back. Rah-lo kept a tight grip on Asia’s collar and turned his glare toward Neo. “I should kill your punk ass for being bold enough to set foot in my house!”
Neo shook his head. “She said it was over between y’all, so I don’t know what’s going on here.”
“You’re fucking my wife in my house; that’s what the fuck is going on.” The bad blood between Rah-lo and Neo dated back years prior, when Rah-lo, Ishmael, and their crew had slain one of Neo’s workers—Jack—in a bloodbath on Staten Island. Ever since then, the beef between them had simmered. So Neo knew that Rah-lo was even more pissed off to find him of all people digging Asia’s back out.
“She said y’all were finished. I thought you moved out and shit was all good, you know what I’m saying?” Neo figured fucking Asia was payback for all the times he and Rah-lo had bumped heads in the streets. He had flirted with Asia for years on the low. Every time he got a wink from Rah-lo’s wife or a seductive smile, Neo had felt victorious. The previous day he ran into Asia and she invited him over. And now here was her man flipping out in the middle of the afternoon. Neo knew that he should have known better than to come to another man’s house to fuck his wife. But the temptation to disrespect Rah-lo on that level had been too sweet to resist.
Rah-lo wanted to crack this bastard’s skull open. “So why sneak out the side entrance then? That’s what you do when shit is all good?”
“She said her kids were coming home from school. I was just trying to be respectful.”
Rah-lo looked at Asia and then back at Neo. He really wanted to hurt both of them for disrespecting his house so boldly. Rah-lo felt like a fool.
He punched Neo hard in the face, knocking him backward. Neo regained his footing and ran toward Rah-lo. But Rah-lo was too quick. He caught Neo again, this time with an uppercut. As Neo crouched defensively, Rah-lo pulled out his gun. Neo saw it and took off running toward his car parked on the corner. Rah-lo started to chase him and then changed his mind. Instead he shoved Asia aside and walked into the house. Asia followed him inside.
Rah-lo looked into Asia’s eyes and smiled. “You know what, Asia?” he said. “I feel like fucking you up right now.”
“Why? ’Cuz I cheated on you? Well, that’s how the fuck I felt when you were out with Celeste all them years. Now you see how it feels. Get over it.”
Rah-lo stared at his wife. He knew that he now had a bigger beef with Neo. Rah-lo shook his head. “Your stupid ass ain’t worth me getting mad.” As pissed as he was that some clown was fucking his wife in his house—and most likely in his bed—Rah-lo reasoned that this was the final straw. Asia had finally given him the last reason he needed to walk away from her for good.
“So this is how it is, Asia?” Rah-lo looked at his wife, disgusted. “You fucking niggas in our house now?”
Asia shook her head and laughed softly. “This is our house now, Rah-lo? You walked out of here, remember?”
Rah-lo turned to her, wanting to wring her neck. “Nah, it’s my muthafuckin’ house!” he yelled in her face. “Nothing is yours!”
“Please, Rah-lo!” Asia walked away from him. “Save that shit! Don’t be mad ’cuz I called your bluff. You thought you was gonna hurt me by walking out of here the other day. But I don’t give a fuck!”
“Good. Remember you said that.” Rah-lo took out his cell phone and called Ishmael. “Ish, I need a favor. Come to my house and help me get my shit out of here before I hurt this girl.” Rah-lo briefly explained about finding Neo exiting his house. Rah-lo needed Ishmael to hold him down and keep watch for an ambush while he moved his stuff.
Asia sucked her teeth and walked away, leaving him standing in the middle of the living room. She wasn’t buying it. In her mind, Rah-lo would never leave her. She stormed off toward the kitchen, muttering under her breath while Rah-lo headed upstairs. He took his luggage out of the closet and started to pack his things. Piece by piece he filled up his luggage, listening to Asia downstairs on the phone talking shit about him to her friends. As he zipped up his last piece of luggage, he noticed his daughter Rasheeda standing in the doorway of his bedroom. He hadn’t even heard her come in from school.
Rasheeda watched her father preparing to leave, and was surprised by the sense of relief she felt. Finally, her father was standing up to her mother. For years Rasheeda had heard her mother talk shit and put Rah-lo down. Rasheeda had watched her father swallow his pride and bite his tongue while Asia ranted and raved. Rasheeda looked into her daddy’s eyes and smiled a sad little grin. “Daddy, I just wanted to tell you that I’m not mad at you for leaving,” she said. “I don’t blame you for wanting to get away from her. You deserve to be happy.”
Rah-lo was stunned to hear his daughter speaking this way. She sounded so mature for her age. She had a poor relationship with her mother; that much he knew. Rasheeda was going through her teenage rebellion and she had chosen Asia as the target of it. But what Rah-lo didn’t know was that it wasn’t just teenage angst that made Rasheeda so mean toward her mother. It was Asia’s ways that Rasheeda despised. She hated that her mother did so little and her dad did so much. Rasheeda had noticed long ago that her mother had no interest in the things that were important to her. If Rasheeda came home eager to talk about something that had happened at school, Asia often snapped at her, telling her that she didn’t care about that silly shit. All Asia cared about was herself. At times, Rasheeda felt that her dad was the mother and the father in their household. Other times, Rasheeda felt like she herself was a single parent, always having to pick up her sisters, cook for her sisters, babysit them, and help with their homework when her dad was out making money. It was always her or Rah-lo doing their part, never Asia doing hers. So Rasheeda understood her father’s decision to leave. She couldn’t wait until the day when she could leave, too.
Rah-lo sighed. He hated that Rasheeda had witnessed their fight the other day. He especially hated that she had heard about his infidelity. He had been his daughters’ untainted hero for all of their lives. All they knew was that he took care of
them, he seldom raised his voice, he paid attention to them, and he loved them more than anything in the world.
“Come here,” he said. He sat down on his king-sized bed and Rasheeda came and sat beside him. “I never claimed to be perfect. I don’t want your mother to ever tell you anything about me that will make you see me differently. Don’t let her change the way you see me. I need you to always see ‘Daddy’ when you look at me, no matter what she says to try and change your mind about me. Know that I always got you and I won’t let nothing hurt you. But I’m not perfect.”
“You didn’t have to tell me that,” Rasheeda said. “I know how she is.”
Rah-lo hated that his daughter felt this way about her mother. But he was glad that Rasheeda understood that he was unhappy. “Your mother has some foul ways, Rasheeda. But she does love you. So do I. But we just don’t make each other happy anymore. That happens sometimes. You start out loving each other and understanding each other’s faults. And then sometimes it gets to the point where you don’t love each other the same way you used to. And then all the things you used to be able to tolerate start to get on your nerves. Neither one of us is happy being together anymore. Maybe if I go, your mother can be happy on her own. Maybe I can, too. We’ll both be better parents, maybe even better friends, when we’re apart. But it has nothing to do with you or your sisters. I will always be here for y’all. I swear. Nothing will ever change that.”
Rasheeda nodded. “Can I come with you?” she asked.
Rah-lo felt his heart break. He wanted to tell her that she could, but he knew that Asia would fight him tooth and nail, if only to make his life miserable. “Not tonight. You should stay here with your mother and explain to your sisters that I’ll be by to see them soon. I need to go get my place set up and all that, and then if you want to, you can come and stay with me for as long as you want. I promise.”
Rasheeda threw her arms around her father’s neck and hugged him tight. He held her in his arms, thinking how it seemed like only yesterday that she was a little girl in love with her daddy. Now she was a teenager approaching adulthood. But he was happy to see that in her heart she was still that same little girl who adored her father. He kissed her forehead and held her face in his hand. “Call me if you need me,” he said. “Anytime, day or night. You let me know what’s going on around here. Let me know if you and your sisters are okay. Nothing is changing, except that I won’t be sleeping here anymore. I’m always just a phone call away.”
Rasheeda nodded and took a deep breath. Rah-lo reached in his pocket and dug out a few twenties. “Go pick your sisters up from dance class and take ’em to Papa John’s and get pizza on your way home.” He kissed her, hugged her, and waited until she left the house and he heard the door close behind her. He grabbed his belongings. He could hear Asia downstairs on the phone with one of her ghetto girlfriends.
“That muthafucka ain’t going nowhere!” Asia was saying.
Rah-lo came out of the room with his bags packed, and his facial expression warned that he was not to be fucked with. Asia immediately hung up the phone and blocked his exit. He stared her down and said, “Move.”
Asia stood her ground and held her husband’s gaze. “So this is how you leave me?” Deep inside she wanted to cry. But her pride and stubbornness stood in the way of her heart. She wouldn’t give him the benefit of seeing tears rolling down her face. “You gonna act like you were always innocent and none of this shit is your fault?”
“Nothing is ever just your fault, right?” Rah-lo asked rhetorically. “It doesn’t matter what you say. You told me to leave, right? So that’s what I’m doing.”
“So what, you gonna run off and find Celeste now?” Asia stepped closer to him.
“Maybe.” He was antagonizing her on purpose.
Asia looked at him without flinching. “You thought that was gonna hurt me?”
Rah-lo shook his head. “I’m not trying to hurt you. I just wanna walk away. This shit was over years ago.”
“So then why did you keep getting me pregnant?” Asia’s pain was apparent as she stood, hearing Rah-lo verbalize what they had both known long ago. True, she had known that the thrill was gone years before this moment. But even when she had acted like she didn’t care, truthfully Asia would’ve never left Rah-lo. And here he was leaving her. Her heart was broken, but her foolish pride said, FUCK YOU!
“No, why did you keep getting pregnant? We don’t even have sex that often and yet you kept getting knocked up.”
“So what are you accusing me of, planning the shit that way?” Asia yelled. In her mind, none of the children had been planned. Well, except their first daughter, Rasheeda. Asia had set out to have Rah-lo’s baby then. But that didn’t count.
“Nah. But you never tried to prevent it, either. All that complaining about being a mother wasn’t getting any better with you not using protection.”
Asia laughed. “So why didn’t you use some damn protection then? Stupid, it takes two to make a baby!” Asia got in Rah-lo’s face and mushed him hard. “I’m the one that needs the fucking protection! All those years you were fucking that nasty bitch!”
“You know who’s a nasty bitch?” Rah-lo was tired of hearing the woman he sincerely loved being referred to as a bitch. He smirked snidely and threw Asia’s own words back at her. “Go look in the mirror.”
Asia lunged at her husband, swinging. She wanted to kill him, more for the fact that he was defending his mistress than because he had called Asia a bitch. Rah-lo caught a left hook to the side of his head, and he stumbled a little. She followed that with a barrage of slaps and punches. She scratched him on the side of his neck as he shoved her off of him. Her back hit the wall hard, and ironically, their family pictures came crashing to the floor. The frames lay shattered, glass covering the snapshots of their smiling daughters. Rah-lo was furious. He wanted to hit Asia back but caught himself just as he swung at her.
“I think you forgot who the fuck I am,” he said, his chest heaving as he glared into her eyes. He stood over her and watched her shrink away from him defensively. Suddenly she wasn’t so tough anymore. He almost wanted to laugh. “I let you raise hell around here and get drunk with your girlfriends instead of being a real fucking wife and mother. Let you talk your bullshit, put me down, and neglect your kids. But don’t get it twisted. Just because I learned to tune you out over the years doesn’t mean that I don’t still run this fucking house. Don’t ever raise your hand to me, Asia. And keep that nigga Neo away from this house.”
Asia knew he meant business. But she didn’t back down, either. “Well, you can’t run this house from outside of this house. So how you gonna leave me for another bitch?”
Rah-lo grabbed her face roughly. “I’m not leaving you for another ‘bitch.’ I’m leaving because you’re a bitch.”
“What about the kids?” Asia could hardly speak due to the tight grip he had on her jaw.
It hurt Rah-lo to think of having to live apart from his baby girls. That was the hardest part of this whole thing. He let go of Asia. “Let me take them with me. I will take them. And you know I’ll take good care of them.”
“Hell no!” Asia yelled.
Rah-lo didn’t argue. He had expected her to say that. “Then as long as we gotta deal with each other, you will respect me. I don’t want them living like this anymore.” Rah-lo shook his head, full of regret. “They can’t be happy if we’re not happy. You don’t make me happy anymore, Asia. Obviously, I don’t make you happy anymore, either.” He stepped away from her slightly. He looked around at the mess they’d made. “This whole shit was a mistake.”
“Mistake? Is that what you think your daughters are? Mistakes?” Asia looked incredibly hurt. Rah-lo could see it even though she tried to hide it.
“Not at all. And you should know that by now. But we’re a mistake. You and me being together is a mistake.”
“You shoulda told me that a long time ago and let me move on with my life.” Asia couldn’t help t
he tears now. But she quickly wiped them away.
“What life, ma? What life you wanna move on to? Hanging outside in the hood with bitches in the summertime, smoking weed and drinking beer? Playing cards and gossiping with your moms all day? What did I stop you from doing?”
“Hold the fuck up! You do all that shit, too, Rah-lo.”
“But you’re a fucking female!” He couldn’t believe that she saw no difference between them. “You got daughters, Asia! And they watch you as an example of what it is to be a lady. And you’re in the street day in and day out conducting yourself like a fucking hoodrat! That’s what you want to teach your daughters?”
The doorbell rang and interrupted them. Rah-lo answered it and ushered Ishmael inside. Ishmael greeted Asia and assessed the scene around him—shattered glass, Asia’s tearstained face, and Rah-lo’s luggage. He felt like he had just walked in on some very personal marital drama.
“Thanks for coming over here,” Rah-lo said. “Can you help me take my shit out of here? There’s a bunch of bags upstairs plus this shit here.” Rah-lo gestured toward several stuffed duffel bags by the front door.
Ishmael nodded and avoided making eye contact with Asia as he grabbed some of Rah-lo’s stuff and took it out to the car. When Ishmael was gone, Asia turned to her husband with tears in her eyes.
“You know what? Fuck you and your little fuckin’ bitch! I can’t believe you’re standing here putting me down ’cuz I ain’t the goody two-shoes that she is.”
“I’m not even talking about Celeste. You’re the one who keeps bringing her name up.”