by F
Over the next few days dogs and people begin to disappear, as do automotive parts, power lines, and electronics. Col. Nelec evacuates Nothing Special, moving the citizenry onto a military base on the pretext that a wildfire, one he has set, is heading toward the town. It's become apparent that a very large and dangerous something escaped from the train. At the camp Dainard tells Joe that Alice has been abducted by some sort of monster. Joe and his little band of bros sneak away from the camp and make for the high school, thinking Dr. Woodward might have left some material relating to the monster lying about his office and it might help save Alice...because that's just what science teachers do when they have info on monsters and the secret government trains that transport them—they leave it lying about their offices in more-or-less plain view. Lo and behold, whaddaya know and who'd have thunk it, the kids find scads of notes and a roll of film informing them that an alien crashed on Earth in 1958. It's a good alien and only wanted to repair its ship with the white cubes (which can morph into any shape) and return home, but the mean ol' government captured it and has been torturing it for the last twenty-one years, trying to extract the secrets of its technology. Dr. Woodward, it turns out, worked on the project and was attacked by the alien—the ensuing physical contact permitted them to form a telepathic bond and, after he's become aware of what a nice alien it is, Dr. Woodward quit the project and waited for a chance to set it free.
Of course none of the foregoing makes the least sense. The entire scenario smacks of a jury-rigged construction and there are more holes in the plot than in a donut factory, but hey, who cares about logic when you can slap on enough sentiment to cover up the cracks? As the picture winds down, once Colonel Nelec gets his just deserts, after an entirely improbable resolution involving another incident of interspecies telepathy that underscores the brotherhood between humanity and all beings, and the discovery of a secret cavern beneath the cemetery (the very one in which Joe's mom is buried) where the disappeared of Nothing Special are still alive, albeit hung upside down like game...that can't be good for you, can it, hanging upside down for a few days? Anyway, after all that, Joe's father tells Dainard he doesn't blame him for his wife's death, Joe and Alice share a chaste kiss, everyone is redeemed and blessed, and the alien (who, despite looking like an immense spider with a demonic head, proves to be ET in monster drag) gets to go home, his ship assembling about the town's water tower, using it for an internal structure, attracting bits of loose metal to form the outer shell. Joe's locket strains to join the screws and waffle irons and wrenches already affixed to the hull. He releases the locket and, miracle upon miracle, it appears to complete the ship—increased by this precious ounce of Speilberggery, the ship ascends into the night, acquiring with distance the shape of a Christmas star, whilst below the people of Nothing Special stare with wonderment into the light, as has happened in every Spielberg movie since Close Encounters of the Third Kind.
In literary and cinematic terms, an homage generally refers to an acknowledgment in a work of art of someone's influence on one's work, not slavish imitation—however, there is an older meaning: A ceremonial allegiance given by a vassal to a feudal lord. Perhaps Abrams was shooting for that here. Whatever the case, it's astonishing how flaccid, dull, and unappetizing a film Super 8 is. Like a meal of wilted lettuce and refried refritos and broken taco shells, it has little appeal. Most of the audience had shuffled out of the theater, sullen and unspeaking, when the credits were interrupted by a showing of The Case , the zombie film shot by the kids. A few people stopped, curious, but after a couple of seconds they moved on. They'd had their fill.
The whole found-footage fake documentary/mockumentary thing got its start in 1972 with the Italian film Deep River Savages, initiating a mini-boom of gorefests, also Italian and most dealing with primitive societies, that peaked with 1979's Cannibal Holocaust , a Class A gross-out. Twenty years later, The Blair Witch Project revived the sub-genre with a vengeance, earning over 248 million dollars worldwide with a film that cost a reported $20-25 thousand, spawning innumerable spoofs and imitations, some of which have gone on to become box-office successes. The Norwegian mockumentary, TrollHunter , is not likely to earn a tenth that much in the U.S., but it was an unexpected hit in Europe and thus received a brief domestic release. The movie purports to be footage found on two hard drives that depicts the actions of a three-person team of university students investigating bear poaching and bear attacks. They are pointed in the direction of Hans (Otto Jespersen), a mysterious loner who refuses to talk to them and hunts alone. They follow Hans surreptitiously into the deep forest and are attacked by an unseen creature. When they return to their car they find it has been totaled and the tires are missing. Hans gives them a ride back to his trailer in his battered Land Rover and confesses that he is a member of the Troll Security Force, a group dedicated to containing Norway's troll population in wilderness areas and preventing the public from becoming aware of them. This hardly seems wise. Imagine the bucks that could be made from a troll-watching industry. But TrollHunter is a movie that relies on its deadpan humor, so your best bet is to go with it.
The students decide to hook up with Hans and join forces with him as he heads north into the wilderness. He claims something is upsetting the trolls, driving them into populated areas, perhaps global warming, and he intends to get to the bottom of it. Along the way they cover themselves in troll stank to prevent trolls from sniffing them out, meet a man who's depositing bear carcasses here and there to explain some of the troll damage, part of a government cover-up, and they pick up on some troll lore. We learn that trolls hate Christians and all things Christian. They are unduly fond of old tires, considering them a delicacy, and they can be trapped by baiting bear traps with charcoal and chunks of concrete, and there is a logical reason why sunlight turns them to stone, something we see come into play as Hans hits a fifty-foot-high troll with an array of ultraviolet lights and then proceeds to break him into rubble.
Director André Øvredal does a wonderful job of blending in the troll effects with his digital footage and keeps the tone light even when dealing with violence (as when a troll kills the cameraman, a closet Christian, who is replaced by a Muslim woman). There are several spectacular scenes, in particular the climactic one in which Hans, driving a Jeep outfitted with outsized speakers, heads off into snow-covered mountains, playing hymns to lure a two-hundred-foot troll into following him. This is not a great movie, but is a diverting one. Its understated humor and pseudo-scientific approach to an unscientific subject are charming and feel new, and it's refreshing to see an unfamiliar mythos exploited and expanded upon, as opposed to Super 8 's shallow attempt to make into myth the overly familiar tropes of an overrated director.
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COMING ATTRACTIONS
By Gordon Van Gelder | 128 words
OUR COVER STORY in the Jan/Feb issue will be "Umbrella Men," an urban fantasy of a different sort, compliments of John G. McDaid.
We've also got on tap two war stories by two of our most popular new contributors. In "Maxwell's Demon," Ken Liu gives us a story of World War II from an uncommon perspective, while Michael Alexander's "In the Trenches" goes back to World War I to tell the tale of a soldier who encounters something unexpected.
We've also got science fiction ahead by Michael Blumlein, C. S. Friedman, Alexander Jablokov, Robert Reed, and K. D. Wentworth, accompanied by fantasy from Dale Bailey, Ron Goulart, Felicity Shoulders, and lots more. Give yourself or a loved one a subscription to F&SF this year and enjoy great stories throughout 2012.
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F&SF COMPETITION #82
By Carol Pinchefsky | 486 words
"Lie to Me"
FOR OUR competition, we had our entrants take a Facebook meme—tell me how we met, only lie to me—and spin their yarns based on science fiction or fantasy stories. The entrants focused more on "how we met" than "lie to me," but we still got some very entertaining "meet cute" stories. Congratulations to cutest meets.
/> FIRST PRIZE:
I followed you home from the graveyard, smashed in your door, and bit your face off. You never understood me. It was never your brain I was after. It was always your heart.
( Night of the Living Dead )
—Philip Steele
Chelsea, MI
SECOND PRIZE:
"I was the one that you cherished and took care of before the meteorite shower," said the towering plant. "You're a good man."
The writhing man clutched by the plant's tendrils gasped desperately for air.
"But I ate your cruel brother first 'cos he peed on me all the time."
( Day of the Triffids by John Wyndham)
—Frank Daman
Omaha, NE
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
The Prancing Pony. After a few drinks, we started making fun of those halflings. That reminds me, was I drunk, or do you remember one of them just disappearing?
( Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien)
—Adam Allen
Powell, WY
When I first saw you, my face fell. You picked it up, dusted it off, and handed it back without a comment. Right then, I knew we would be friends.
— Millennium, John Varley
—Lissanne Lake
North Bergen, NJ
Small, poorly designed cruiser bringing supplies to lonely outpost. Pilot. Stowaway. Weight limit. You know how this ends.
("The Cold Equations," by Tom Godwin)
—Bryan Cholfin
Cambridge, MA
F&SF COMPETITION #83: TWEETED
Recap your favorite genre novel or short story as a Twitter post (tweet). You know what that means, right? It means you need to mimic the form of the popular social networking service by limiting your entry to 140 characters...spaces and punctuation included. Keep the slangy, abbreviated form of Twitter too. (Thanks to author and editor Jetse de Vries for suggesting this competition.)
You can tweet six of your favorite stories (and make sure to credit the original titles and authors). The funniest ones get printed, which we realize is kind of a contradiction, but we're okay with it.
Example:
"Machine works, went to yr 802,701. Met hot Eloi & fugly Morlocks. Mlocks live underground. Wonder what they could possibly eat."
—H. G. Wells, The Time Machine
If you don't include your ACTUAL HOME ADDRESS, we can't give you your prize. And that would be sad.
RULES: Send entries to Competition Editor, F&SF, 240 West 73rd St. #1201, New York, NY 10023-2794, or email entries to carol [a-t] cybrid [d-o-t] net . Be sure to include your contact information. Entries must be received by January 15, 2012. Judges are the editors of F&SF, and their decision is final. All entries become the property of F&SF.
PRIZES: First prize will receive a signed copy of The Bible Repairman and Other Stories by Tim Powers (published by Subterranean Press). Second prize will receive advance reading copies of three forthcoming novels. Any Honorable Mentions will receive one-year subscriptions to F&SF. Results of Competition #83 will appear in the May/June 2012 issue.
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INDEX TO VOLUMES 120 & 121, JANUARY-DECEMBER 2011
By Gordon Van Gelder | 541 words
A
Aiken, Joan • Hair • Jul/Aug • 140
Alexander, Michael • Someone Like You • Jul/Aug • 203
Alonzo, Maria E. • Jesse Francis McComas: The Traveler Returns (nonf)... • May/Jun • 10
Armstrong, Jon • Aisle 1047 • Sep/Oct • 109
B
Bash, Kent • Cover for "The Evening and The Morning" • Mar/Apr
----------- • Cover for "The Ice Owl" • Nov/Dec
Beagle, Peter S. • The Way it Works Out and All • Jul/Aug • 49
Bowes, Richard • Sir Morgravain Speaks of Night Dragons and Other Things • Jul/Aug • 186
Bradfield, Scott • Starship Dazzle • May/Jun • 178
Bunker, Karl • Bodyguard • Mar/Apr • 205
----------- • Overtaken • Sep/Oct • 199
C
Cambias, James L. • Object Three (nvlt) • Nov/Dec • 157
Chilson, Rob • Less Stately Mansions • Jul/Aug • 67
Competition # 81 • May/Jun • 255
Competition # 82 • Nov/Dec • 253
Cowdrey, Albert E. • The Bogle (nvlt) • Jan/Feb • 151
----------- • How Peter Met Pan (nvlt) • Nov/Dec • 187
----------- • Scatter My Ashes (nvlt) • Mar/Apr • 6
----------- • The Black Mountain (nvlt) • May/Jun • 58
----------- • Where Have All the Young Men Gone (nvlt) • Sep/Oct • 178
Corradi, Matthew • The Ghiling Blade (nvlt) • Jan/Feb • 219
D
David, Peter • Bronsky's Dates with Death (nvlt) • Jul/Aug • 8
DeBill, Jr., Walter C; Gavin, Richard; Price, Robert M.; Pugmire, W.H.; Thomas, Jeffrey; & Webb, Don • Night Gauntlet • Mar/Apr • 156
de Lint, Charles • Books to Look For • Jan-Dec
Dellinger, Paul • Curiosities • Nov/Dec • 258
DeVito, Chris • Anise (nvlt) • Sep/Oct • 127
Di Filippo, Paul • A Pocketful of Faces • Mar/Apr • 43
----------- • Plumage from Pegasus • Jan/Feb, May/June, Jul/Aug, Sep/Oct
----------- • Curiosities • Jul/Aug • 258
Doherty, Paul • see Murphy, Pat
Duncan, Alexandra • Rampion (nvla) • May/Jun • 106
F
Finch, Sheila • The Evening and The Morning (nvla) • Mar/Apr • 77
Foster, Alan Dean • Ghost Wind • Jan/Feb • 207
Friesner, Esther M. • Rutger and Baby Do Jotenheim (nvlt) • Sep/Oct • 5
G
Gavin, Richard • See DeBill, Jr., Walter C
Gilbow, S.L. • The Old Terrologist's Tale • May/Jun • 193
Gilman, Carolyn Ives • The Ice Owl (nvla) • Nov/Dec • 207
H
Hand, Elizabeth • Books • Jul/Aug
Hardy, David • Cover for "The Man Inside Black Betty" • Sep/Oct
Heath, Mark • Cartoon • Jan/Feb
Hughes, Matthew • Quartet and Triptych (nvla) • Nov/Dec • 66
J
Jonik, John • Cartoon • Jan/Feb
K
Kabza, KJ • The Ramshead Algorithm • Jul/Aug • 217
Kelly, James Patrick • Happy Ending 2.0 • Mar/Apr • 173
Kest, Kristin • Cover for "The Bird Cage" • Jan/Feb
L
Langan, Sarah • The Man Inside Black Betty • Sep/Oct • 43
Langford, David • Curiosities • Jan/Feb, Sep/Oct • 258
Lawson, Chris • Canterbury Hollow • Jan/Feb • 102
Liu, Ken • The Paper Menagerie • Mar/Apr • 64
----------- • Altogether Elsewhere, Vast Herds of Reindeer • May/Jun • 215
Long, Bill • Cartoons • Mar-Aug, Nov/Dec
Lupoff, Richard A. • 12:02 P.M. • Jan/Feb • 185
M
MacEwen, Pat • Home Sweet Bi'ome (nvlt) • Jan/Feb • 7
MacIntyre, F. Gwynplaine • Curiosities • Mar/Apr, May/Jun
Malzberg, Barry N. • see Pronzini, Bill
Marcus, Daniel • Bright Moment • Sep/Oct • 78
Maio, Kathi • Films • Jan/Feb, May/Jun, Sept/Oct
Manzieri, Maurizio • Cover for "The Ants of Flanders" • Jul/Aug
Masear, Arthur • Cartoons • Mar-Aug
Mead, Donald • Spider Hill • Sep/Oct • 157
Moriarty, Chris • Books • May/Jun
Murphy, Pat, and Paul Doherty • Science • Jan/Feb, Jul/Aug
N
Norwood, Rick • Long Time • Jan/Feb • 85
O
Olson, Christopher • Cartoon • Sep/Oct
P
Popkes, Steven • Agent of Change • May/Jun • 78
Price, Robert M. • See DeBill, Jr., Walter C
&nb
sp; Pronzini, Bill & Malzberg, Barry N. • Paradise Last • Jan/Feb • 178
Pugmire, W.H. • See DeBill, Jr., Walter C
R
Reed, Robert • Stock Photos • May/Jun • 53
----------- • The Road Ahead • May/Jun • 227
----------- • The Ants of Flanders (nvla) • Jul/Aug • 84
Rickert, M. • The Corpse Painter's Masterpiece • Sep/Oct • 93
Rini, J.P. • Cartoons • Mar/Apr, Sep/Oct
Roessner, Michaela • The Klepsydra • Nov/Dec • 142
Ross, Deborah J. • A Borrowed Heart (nvlt) • Sep/Oct • 57
Ryan, Alan Peter • Time and Tide • Sep/Oct • 214
Ryman, Geoff • What We Found (nvlt) • Sep/Oct • 228
S
Sallis, James • Books • Mar/Apr, Nov/Dec
Saylor, Steven • The Witch of Corinth (nvlt) • Jul/Aug • 153
Scholz, Carter • Signs of Life • May/Jun • 153
Shanahan, Danny • Cartoons • May/Jun, Sep/Oct, Nov/Dec