He was dynamite.
Shame he felt more like a budget firework that had been left out in the rain. But maybe that was just the come-down from an amazing orgasm.
They didn’t speak much in the car. Eddie was uncharacteristically quiet, and Jeff realised just how much of their normal chatter was down to Eddie’s efforts. Eddie always seemed to know what to say to sort out Jeff’s head. Except for right now, when Jeff really needed him.
“Are you okay?” he asked as Eddie pulled into the hotel car park.
“Apart from all the aches and pains? Yeah, I’m golden.” Eddie smiled, but under the wan streetlight, it just looked sad, like a painted-on smile.
Jeff grunted, not knowing what else to say, and they headed on inside.
The bar was still open.
“Fancy a drink?” he asked, wanting to get back their usual easy conversation.
“Nah, I’m good.” Eddie yawned. “Think I should be getting to bed. Got to drive back early tomorrow. Seeing my dad and Belinda for lunch. And all my sisters will be there too.”
“Oh.” Jeff had imagined there’d be time for a trip down to the beach together. “What time do we need to leave?”
“Earlyish. I was thinking eight to make sure we miss the worst of the traffic.”
“Right. Eight.” Jeff tried to hide his disappointment. Definitely no time for the beach. They’d be cutting it fine if they wanted morning sex, and since they hadn’t managed to have any the week before, he was desperate to try for some this week.
But what he’d really wanted, more than anything else, was to walk hand in hand with Eddie down the beach, early in the day before it got crowded.
“I’ll head up, then,” Eddie said. When Jeff made to follow him, he stopped him with a hand to his chest. “Nah. You have a drink. Seriously. I just want to crash out now. I’m not up for company.”
When Eddie left to go up those stairs, he must have taken part of Jeff with him. It was the only explanation for the way he felt so hollow inside.
But he stayed for a couple of pints, followed by a large vodka, and when he finally stumbled into their room, Eddie was fast asleep.
Jeff kept to his side of the bed and tried his best to feel happy about the prospect of going out and looking for a kinky girlfriend.
The shrieking of gulls woke Jeff up with a start. It was nothing like the mellow twittering of the birds around his house. He lay there, heart pounding, facing the window. Light filtered in around the edges of the blackout curtains, but it still had that early morning washed-out quality. Jeff checked his phone just to be sure. 6:15. They had time.
He rolled over to wake Eddie up, but Eddie was already awake, his eyes glittering in the half-light.
“Hey,” Eddie whispered. “Last morning.”
If there was more, Jeff didn’t want to hear it. He cut Eddie off with his mouth, roughly taking possession of him and rolling on top. Eddie tasted like sin, and he made a broken, yearning sound in his throat that turned Jeff on even as it broke his heart. They tangled, both grasping and rutting hungrily, until Jeff finally pinned Eddie’s wrists to the mattress above his head. “Stay there. I want to fuck you.”
Eddie’s body went limp with surrender, his eyes heavy lidded. Jeff ransacked his backpack, trying to remember where he’d put the condoms and lube. Eventually he found one of the foil wrappers and suited up. Lube? Where the fuck was it? Something heavy sounding rolled out of the bag, but he wasn’t about to turn a light on and go rooting around on the floor. He needed inside Eddie. Now.
Jeff pushed Eddie’s legs up to his shoulders and stared down. Eddie was looking up at him with a strange expression.
“Fuck me. Now,” Eddie demanded.
Okay. That was one order Jeff didn’t mind taking. He looked down at Eddie’s hole. There was only one lubricant that sprang to mind. Jeff called up as much spit as he could and let it fall onto Eddie, working it into his arse with his fingers. “This okay?” he checked, once he’d lined himself up ready to push inside.
“Yeah. Do it. Come on. Now.”
Jeff spat once more for good measure, aiming for the point where their bodies joined. He surged forward, meeting resistance but jabbing through it with short, sharp thrusts. Eddie hissed and winced, but he urged Jeff on all the time. “Come on. I want to feel you. Burns so fucking good.”
Jeff pushed on into the clenching heat of Eddie’s body until he couldn’t go any farther. He groaned, light-headed with need. Eddie looked so fucking good below him, his hair stuck to his forehead with sweat, his brow furrowed and his mouth open and panting. Jeff leaned in closer, forcing Eddie’s legs farther back still until he could reach his mouth.
They kissed in desperation, messier and messier as Jeff began to move. Shallow stabs at first, aiming for that place inside Eddie that made him whimper and leak pre-come. Yeah, that was it. Jeff could feel the dampness on his belly. The urge to go deep and hard was lurking at the back of his mind, but for now he wanted to work Eddie into a state.
Only problem was, he was working himself into one too.
If he wasn’t fucking careful, he was going to blurt out something stupid. Something about wanting to keep seeing Eddie. And Eddie had made it perfectly clear how he felt about that.
Best to just keep kissing him so neither of them could talk. And Eddie tasted so fucking good.
Jeff kissed along his jaw and down to his neck.
“Harder. More. Please!” Eddie demanded, his hips bucking beneath Jeff.
Jeff nipped at the skin of his neck before pulling out.
Eddie whined.
“Quiet, boy. You’ll get what you’re after. Come on. Over here.” Jeff tugged Eddie to the edge of the mattress and stood by the side of the bed. Now he could thrust away as hard as he liked, using his whole body to push. He drooled on Eddie’s hole again. More light was spilling in around the curtains now, and he could see the bubbles in the spittle as it dripped down. It probably shouldn’t have been erotic, that sight, but it turned him on something chronic. He wanted to spend the rest of his life inside Eddie, like some freaky Siamese twins, joined at the groin.
Their bodies crashed together, building momentum, and no matter how long he wanted to draw it out, Jeff was powerless to resist. When the sharp tang of Eddie’s spunk hit his nostrils, the tide of his own orgasm swept over him, scouring out every last drop of pleasure.
They lay there panting, beached and broken. Jeff raised his head. “Thank you.”
“What for?”
“Everything.”
“My pleasure. You’ll be a great top now. Some lucky woman isn’t going to know what’s hit her.”
“My cane, hopefully,” Jeff joked, but his heart wasn’t in it.
Eddie smiled sadly, then twitched his arse. “I need a shower. Then breakfast.”
Jeff didn’t want to move anywhere.
“I’m going to need you to let me go,” Eddie said firmly.
Yeah, that was about the size of it, wasn’t it? Jeff pushed himself up on wobbly legs and set about gathering his things from far-flung corners of the room.
Breakfast was over quickly, and Eddie picked up a paper to read while he ate, so Jeff did the same. Of course, Eddie had some poncy leftie paper with way too serious headlines, and Jeff had The Mail on Sunday.
“Jesus. I didn’t think I knew anyone who read The Daily Mail,” Eddie eventually commented. “You do know it’s full of made-up bullshit and scare-mongering, don’t you?”
Jeff grunted and filled his mouth with toast so he didn’t have to reply. He turned to the sports section. It wasn’t like he’d bought the bloody thing himself, was it? But it was the paper his dad always read, and so he’d grown up with it.
Besides, there was always something that caught his interest. This time it was an article about the offside rule, and he read that until it was time
to leave.
The drive back was mostly silent. Eddie didn’t seem to be in a chatty mood, and Jeff certainly wasn’t. Part of him was frustrated he was missing out on his last chance to have a natter with Eddie, but then again, it didn’t absolutely have to be the last, did it? They might live very different lives, but surely they could meet up now and again? It wasn’t like that would have to interfere with any other relationship Jeff started, was it? Not in the beginning stages, anyway, and by the time it got more serious with his new girlfriend, he wouldn’t be needing Eddie’s company anymore.
The more he thought about it, the more he warmed to the idea, and so when Eddie pulled up outside Jeff’s house, he knew he had to speak.
“I was thinking,” he began.
“Sounds dangerous,” Eddie quipped.
“Shut up. I was thinking about us. This thing. I know you’ve finished my training, but I was wondering if we could carry on seeing each other, you know, every now and then. Just to keep up my skills. At least until I’ve found a steady girlfriend, anyway.”
Eddie had his sunglasses on, and it was impossible to see his eyes, but his lips had set in a hard line.
Jeff blundered on, aware this wasn’t going well but hoping if he kept going, he’d be able to explain himself better. “I know you aren’t after anything like a relationship, but that’s fine, because I’m not gay anyway. So it would be okay, you see? Just like two mates meeting up every few weeks to muck around. You know, have a few beers. Me tie you up and screw your brains out. That kind of thing.”
“You’re saying you want to be friends with benefits?” Eddie’s hands were still gripping the steering wheel tightly.
“Uh, yeah, if that’s what you want to call it. Yeah, actually, that’s exactly what I’m after.” Friends with benefits still got to sleep over and kiss and cuddle in the morning, didn’t they? Something they hadn’t had time for this morning.
“So let me get this straight. Now your training’s over, you want to be able to carry on using me as a practice body, just until your perfect female sub comes along?”
Jeff scratched his neck. There was something not quite right about the way that sounded, but then again, it was exactly what Jeff was suggesting, wasn’t it. “Yeah, that’s about it. But, you know, I don’t mind doing some of the gay stuff too.”
“Oh, you’re going to give me a blowjob now, are you?” Eddie didn’t sound too thrilled about the idea, and Jeff was starting to feel riled by his tone.
“I never said nothing about that. Just, you know, the cock rings and stuff that goes on your bollocks. I don’t mind torturing you with those.”
“Right. Well, as much as it’s been a pleasure being tortured by you, I don’t really fancy being some substitute for your perfect woman, and I certainly don’t want to spend any more time with a top who’s revolted by the idea of going down on me. I know I’m a pretty easy-going sort of bloke, but I do have some self-respect.”
“I never said you didn’t.”
“You offered to make me your bit on the side.”
Jeff scratched his neck. “I thought that’s what you wanted.”
Eddie stared at him. “Jesus Christ, Jeff. Are you really that thick?”
Chapter Thirty
Bloody hell, had Eddie really just called Jeff thick? Had he insulted that swaggering gorilla of a man? The one who could probably knock Eddie out with one punch? No, if anyone was thick, it was clearly Eddie, but he was so angry he ploughed on regardless. “You mean to say you actually believed all that crap I fed you about not wanting a relationship? What the fuck? You really think I’m that shallow, I was only in it for the sex?”
“Erm, I don’t really know what you want me to say.”
“For fuck’s sake, Jeff, I don’t want you to say anything. Words are cheap. I want actions. I want you to love me and to show it by owning up to that in front of the whole wide world.”
Jeff had gone pale under his tan. “I didn’t know…”
“Well, of course you didn’t know. I wasn’t about to broadcast all that and send you running for the hills. Needy is never an attractive thing, and besides, it’s never going to happen, is it? So I thought I’d better keep it all to myself. And judging by the way you’re looking at me right now, I wish I’d bloody well kept things that way.” Except that wasn’t strictly true. Part of Eddie was relieved to own the truth, even if the rest of him was wailing that now he’d ruined everything by rushing and he should have just taken the fuck-buddies offer.
Jeff scratched his neck like he had fleas. “Erm, that’s okay. It’s kind of good to know how you feel.” He didn’t sound at all convinced by his words. “But you’re right. Even if I did have, uh, feelings for you, I’m not about to tell the whole world I’m gay.”
“You have feelings for me?”
“Maybe.” Scratch-scratch-scratch.
“What kind of feelings are we talking about here? Sexual feelings? Emotional feelings? Romantic feelings?”
“Erm, I’m not really sure? Feelings that mostly make me sick and afraid.” Jeff suddenly brightened. “But you could come inside, and we’ll talk about it, and maybe you could help me sort them out. You’re better at all that shit, what with you being gay.”
“Right. Of course, because loving men automatically makes me all sensitive and so on, unlike you red-blooded heterosexuals who just enjoy an occasional roll in the hay with other blokes. And even then, I was the one doing all the putting out. I might as well have been a woman for all the attention you paid my cock.”
Jeff flushed. “That’s not true.”
“Isn’t it? Come on, admit it. If I was a woman, you’d have no problem going down on me. And you’d probably have fallen head over heels in love with me too. But because I’ve got that pesky Y-chromosome, you won’t even kiss me in public.”
“What about last night? Everyone knew we were together.”
“Yeah, but you still didn’t kiss me. You just yanked me around on a lead like a piece of meat.”
“You said that’s what you wanted!” Jeff’s voice was getting louder now.
“I did! But I also wanted you to kiss me and hold me and fuck my face in front of everybody. I wanted you to make a public spectacle of me, so everyone would know just how much I turn you on. But instead, you dragged us off into some dark little room. Probably you were thinking of her while you doing me too.”
“Her? Who the fuck do you mean?”
“Her. The slapper in the corset who you couldn’t take your eyes off.”
Jeff looked blank, but that was probably all an act. Eddie elaborated. “The one with her tits out who was getting spanked between the legs.”
Jeff’s forehead uncreased. “Oh. Her. Yeah, I remember. She was hot.”
“Well, thanks a fucking bunch.”
“Wait. I didn’t mean it like that. You’re hot too.”
“Really.”
“Of course. I wouldn’t be so into doing you if I didn’t fancy you.”
Coming from Jeff, that was probably a major confession, but Eddie wasn’t going to be mollified by a few crumbs chucked his way. “So you fancy me enough to keep shagging me, but not enough to want to make it a proper relationship. Well, at least I know where I stand. And I know exactly where you can shove that fuck-buddies offer. Let me give you a clue. It’s a hole you’d never let me near. Not in a million years. Because that would be way too fucking gay for you.”
Jeff’s forehead creased, and he looked around furtively. “Could you keep it down, please? Come on, let’s talk inside.”
“Right. Because we wouldn’t want the neighbours to see you having an argument with the bloke you were screwing just a few hours ago. They might put two and two together, mightn’t they? And then your cover would be blown wide open. Nowhere to hide. Well, excuse me if I don’t feel a huge amount of sympathy for you right now, Si
r Bastard.”
“Do you have to be such a bitch?” Jeff asked.
“Get out.” That hurt, having what had become a pet name of sorts thrown back at him as an insult. “Get out of my car, right now. And take your stuff with you. I don’t want to have to see you ever again.” Eddie was vaguely aware he was being overly dramatic, but he was so fucking angry he didn’t care. And wounded too. Jeff had reached inside him and torn out all his pathetic little dreams of them shacking up together. Now they were just fading scraps of paper, blowing away on the wind.
Jeff didn’t say anything else while he got out of the car and took his bag from the boot. Eddie thought for a moment that might be it, but Jeff came back to the door and opened it. “I didn’t want things to end like this.”
“I know. You wanted your handy little tart on the side to text whenever you needed a booty call. Well, that isn’t going to happen. Get used to it, Jeff.”
Jeff shook his head. “That isn’t it. I wanted us to be friends.”
But that would be too painful, when Eddie wanted so much more. “I think it’s best I just keep my distance. Wouldn’t want to compromise your otherwise perfectly heterosexual lifestyle, would I?”
Jeff’s face shuttered, and he slammed the car door before stalking up the path to his front door.
Eddie wasn’t about to hang around waiting for him. He peeled off with a squeal of rubber, and drove way too fast all the way home.
Life without Jeff should have been fine. Eddie knew this for a fact. He’d only been seeing Jeff one evening a week for the last month or so, along with the occasional text and phone call. Not much to miss, really. And Eddie had always been perfectly happy with his own company, hooking up online when he felt the need for some kink and domination.
Yep. Intellectually, he knew that nothing had changed, and it should be easy to slip back into his old ways.
It was a shame his heart had missed the memo.
It was ten days before Maddy called him up, angrily demanding to know why he hadn’t been responding to her texts and Facebook pokes.
How to Train Your Dom in Five Easy Steps Page 25