by Krystal Wade
“Griandor said he would restore his life after the war.” So he has to be dead.
Brit rests her head on my shoulder. Tears soak through my shirt.
I lean my head on Brit’s. “I know you’re right. He would have been used against me somehow, even if he never went on our camping trip, but I hate myself for ever doubting him. Reverse our roles, and he would have been a better friend to me than I was to him. He was a better friend to me than I was to him. Before he was stabbed, he fought against the poison controlling him to apologize, and he didn’t have anything to be sorry for.” Words are painful to speak. My face and hands burn, and a lump forms in my throat, rendering me mute.
Arland moves in closer, sandwiching me with support between him and Brit.
“It’s okay, Kate. You said Griandor will restore Brad’s life. Everything will be okay.” Brit sniffles.
She rubs her hand up and down my back, but it does little to make the guilt disappear.
I lift my head then stare into her eyes mirroring mine. “If I don’t fail, Griandor will restore Brad’s life. But if I do fail, everything will be lost. And Brad does not deserve to be involved in any of this. His only crime was loving me. It seems like loving me might be a crime for everyone.” I turn to Arland.
He runs his hand along my leg. “You cannot blame yourself for what happened to Brad. And loving you is not a crime, but acting on that love seems to be.”
“Arland!” Brit scowls at him.
Arland’s right. Daemons attacked Brad after he shared his hidden love for me. Arland is in a position where it’s impossible for him not to love me, yet that love is forbidden. We want to spend the rest of our lives together, and in committing to each other, it’s possible we both get in trouble. Maybe love is not for me. Maybe that’s why it took twenty years before I ever kissed anyone, before I ever thought about taking my clothes off for a man. So why did Gramhara give me her power of love? I’m at a loss.
He cups my face with his hands. “The more I think about mine and Brad’s love for you and everything loving you means, the surer I become of my father’s reasons for you to keep your distance from me at Willow Falls. He is aware of your mother’s intentions to Bind us, Kate. He has to be.” Arland faces my mom. “Is there anything you can tell us about Willow Falls? You said something angers Kate, but what? You must have more details.”
She shakes her head. “All I know is how important it is for you to follow through with the Binding. I believe it is important to both of you, as well. Am I right?”
“You are aware of what the spell means to us, but why else is it important?” Arland asks, his voice flat.
“The closer you two are, the more you share, the stronger both of your magic will be. By the end of this war, many will conjure magic the way Kate does, but it starts with your marriage.”
Brit bolts upright. “Wait, now you are marrying Arland and not Perth?”
A smile stretches across my face before I have time to stop it. “Yes, but you cannot tell anyone.”
She looks between Arland and me as if she wants to bolt to the nearest bridal store … too bad for her they are all worlds away. “Oh my God, Kate, that’s awesome news! Of course I’ll never tell anyone, but how—?”
Mom arches an eyebrow. “We are going to need Perth to side with us, and we are going to have to make sure everyone around here remains quiet about Arland and Kate’s relationship.”
“It doesn’t sound like you think Perth will help them, Mom,” Brit says, excitement fading from her voice.
“I do not.”
I place my hand over Mom’s knee. “Well, I do. I will talk to him—”
Arland clears his throat.
We lock eyes, and for a moment, I get a glimpse of our future. Lazy days spent on picnic blankets with warm sunshine beaming down on us. Laced fingers. Tangled legs. Stolen kisses. Kids with curly locks, running around. Horses. I don’t know if what I’m seeing is an actual vision, but I pray it is.
Blinking away everything I want with remorse greater than I’ve ever felt, I see Arland staring back at me. “Arland and I will talk to him.”
He tears his gaze from mine and squeezes my leg. I wonder if he saw what I did, if Griandor and Gramhara shared the vision of our future with both of us. If they did, maybe Arland will have more hope for a positive outcome—I do.
“What else of Kate’s future do you know?” he asks, looking at Mom.
“If Kate does not give her uniting speech, or it doesn’t work, I am afraid I do not know what will happen. But if she does, you and an army will be sent to seek out the Leader of Darkness. The search will take months. It will be bloody, tiring, and you will be faced with more horrors than you can imagine.”
Turning to face Mom, Brit narrows her eyes. “You didn’t say we, Mom. Are you not going to fight?”
Her hands tremble. “No.”
Brit appears as though she wants to wrap her arms around Mom, but something keeps my sister rooted in place.
I move my hand from Mom’s knee to her shoulder, giving a nudge to get her attention. “Why are you crying?”
“I am going to stay at Willow Falls. As a Leader, I will not be permitted to fight.” She hangs her head.
“There is no truth to that statement. Do you forget you are in the company of a Leader?” Arland glares at her, breathing heavy, agitated.
She lifts her head; an expression as frail as the tree in Watchers Hall’s courtyard fills her face. Mom has never shown emotions or allowed them to control her. I feel like our roles are reversed and I should reach out, tell her everything will be okay, but I don’t know if that’s true or not.
“As a Leader punished for running away, I will not be permitted to leave Willow Falls—I may not be permitted to live. Brian and I disobeyed a High Leader’s law when we passed through the portal.”
My face burns as tears fight their way to my eyes. Mom and Arland lock eyes in some sort of silent duel, each trying to prove to the other who knows more, who is telling the truth. Mom may be many things, but I do not want her to die. This war has claimed so many lives already, why would any Leader take the life of someone who sacrificed everything to protect this world?
Arland rubs his chin, eyebrows turned down. “You may be punished, but my father would never kill you. You are friends. He respects you and Brian for everything you were willing to give up.”
She covers her face with her hands. “We are friends—dear friends—but it will not be your father’s choice—”
“He is High Leader. It will most certainly be his choice.” Arland’s voice cracks in a way I’ve never heard before. Is he unsure?
“Arland, there are things we have to do as Leaders we do not like. What is the punishment for breaking a High Leader’s law?”
He reaches for my hand then squeezes. “Death. But that means they will also kill me and Kate if they discover our marriage.”
I gasp.
Mom shakes her head. “No, they will not kill their only hope. If your marriage is discovered, and either of you is penalized, I will take full responsibility. My downfall will please Dufaigh. Your father knows the only way for Encardia to survive is for the two of you to be together. Kate’s happiness means Encardia’s Light. Does that sound familiar?”
“Yes, it was part of my prophecy,” he says, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles.
“Your father knows you are Kate’s happiness. That was why we made the marriage arrangement in the first place. It was our biggest mistake. We should have left well alone, but I am sure Dufaigh would have found another way to torment my family.”
“But, Mom, if they kill you, I will not be happy. How can I go out and fight for people who seek to destroy my family? My life?”
“You are not fighting for them,” she says, her voice warm and comforting. “You fight for yourself, for all the other worlds. You fight for survival of goodness. You need not worry about me; my life has never been the same since your father died. I do not mind the
thought of death. In my heart, I know he and I will be reunited.”
My mom never loved my step dad. Gary and I might not have been as close as we should have been, but I’m sorry for him. Whenever this is over and his life goes back to normal, I’ll have to visit.
“I’m glad I mean so much to you! What about us, Mom? Kate and I need you. We love you.” Brit glances at mine and Arland’s laced fingers.
“At least Kate will have Arland when you are gone, but what will I have? You don’t even know if I’ll survive this war, but you’re willing to let yourself be sacrificed with my future just hanging out there?” She stands, face red with anger, rocking on her toes. She looks like she could run far away and never come back, but something keeps her in place. She’s waiting.
I’m waiting, too. Waiting for my mom to redeem herself. To be what Brit needs, the way Mom always has.
“You should consider yourself lucky, Brites Wilde. Your life is your own to do with as you see fit. Not many in Encardia are even aware of your existence. They do not seek to destroy you or marry you to someone against your will, and they certainly do not seek to have you fight in wars that make very little sense … .”
Brit’s lower lip quivers. She stares at our mom for a moment, mouth opening and closing as though searching for the right words, then turns and runs away. Sobs echo their way back to us.
Frowning at my mom, I jump to my feet. “She might have been the only person left who still trusts in you, and you basically just told her she’s nothing. I know you didn’t mean it that way, but I doubt Brit will ever understand that. When she calms down, we can talk about the Binding. For now, Arland and I are going to try to fix what you broke.”
I turn on my toe then storm off with Arland following behind me.
“Kate! Are you going to tell me what this war is about?” she yells after us.
“When the time is right. Of course, no one has ever given me any indication as to when that time may be,” I say, over my shoulder and run to catch up with Brit.
Outside the cave, almost everyone stares up at the sky—some with wide eyes, others with mouths hanging open.
The children point and giggle.
The soldiers talk amongst themselves as they look at the stars.
Arland and I share a smile, then take a seat on either side of Brit. She pulls her knees to her chest, face red and swollen from crying. Seeing my sister this way rips my heart in two. Her rock solid strength has always reminded me of Mom. It was Brit who calmed her older sister when the nightmares struck, who lent an ear when school was rough. Now I need to be her rock.
I need to be everyone’s rock.
Brit leans into me.
Wrapping my arm around her, I let her cry. “Everything is going to be okay. I promise, Brit. I will always be here for you.”
My words only make her sobs louder, so I don’t say anything else. She cries for so long, I think it must be about more than just Mom. I suspect Brit is crying for some of the same reasons I did when I first arrived in Encardia.
Arland comes around Brit then sits behind me. I rest my head on his shoulder and stare up at the sky while there are still stars to enjoy. We’ll probably be here all night, but this is not how I envisioned us sleeping under the stars.
Chapter Nine
“Sir!”
I startle awake and scream.
Arland brushes my arm with his palm. “It is only Cadman, Kate.”
Looking over my right shoulder, I see Cadman and follow his ogling to the sky—which is now one of the strangest sights I’ve seen. In the ever-present black night, a small round patch of the most brilliant blue cuts through, reminding me of the waters surrounding Hawaii. Not a single white cloud dots the gift from above, and just like last night, everyone stares, captivated by the sight.
Groups of children and soldiers have gathered near the edge of the cliff overlooking the river, smiles and excited murmurs abound. Smells of the sun’s warmth fill the air, like a promise offered by the first day of spring after a long, snowy winter. I inhale a deep, renewing breath. Surges of energy course through me. I’m happy … at peace. This is where I’m supposed to be. Fighting this war. Bringing Encardia Light.
“Enjoy it. This is a sight none of these people will soon forget.” Arland slides his arm from my shoulders, kisses my cheek, then stands. “I will be right back. I need to speak with Cadman.”
“Okay. I’ll be here … staring.” I smile and watch Arland walk down the path toward the river to join the others. When he’s out of view, I return my gaze to the sky.
Repositioning myself against the rocks, I nudge Brit’s shoulder. “Brit, wake up.”
She groans.
“The sun is out. It reminds me of your favorite part of the forest back home.” I run my fingers through her tangled waves, separating the knots from each other.
Brit rolls over in my lap and looks up at me with her big green eyes, puffy from a night full of crying. She squints, then rubs her eyes with the back of her hand. “Oh. You weren’t kidding. The sun really is shining.”
“No, I wasn’t kidding. The stars were out last night, too, but you probably didn’t notice.”
Brit shakes her head. She sits up, then leans back into my open arms. “It’s not fair, Kate.”
“What’s not fair?”
“You know what. I want to know what my purpose is in the war.” With a disgusted sigh, Brit digs at the dirt under her nails.
“I talked to Arland about that. He said if we find a good Seer, we can get your prophecy. If you really want to know, we can try to find one. Maybe one will be at Willow Falls.”
Brit pops up then faces me, biting back a smile. “Really? You’ve already thought about this for me?”
I nod.
Wrapping her arms around me, she squeezes the air from my lungs with a huge hug. “I love you, Kate. You’re the best sister a girl could ask for.”
“Uh, cheese?” I laugh.
“Yes, but I mean every single slice of it.”
“I know you do.”
“I am sorry to interrupt, but the children need food,” Enid says, tapping my shoulder with her cold hand.
Brit and I both start. I turn around and wipe the tears that escaped during my hug with her, then put on a happy face for Enid. She rubs her hands together, glancing back at the soldiers, then looks up at the sky.
“Is everything okay, Enid?” I ask.
“Yes. It has been so long since I have seen the daylight.” She turns her head to me. “Do you know where we can get food? I would have asked Arland, but I cannot find him.”
A broken chicken neck falling limp in Perth’s hands comes to mind. “Perth brought a chicken.”
I glance over at the small crowd on the edge of the cliff and spot Saidear. “Saidear?”
He turns, wearing a huge grin. “Yes, ma’am?”
“Where are the horses?”
“They were tied to a tree over there,” he says, pointing down the path I climbed to rescue everyone yesterday.
“Thank you.”
Saidear gestures at the sky with his hand. “No. Thank you.”
I laugh and return my attention to Enid. “I’ll go grab it and be right back.”
She raises her arms and leans to the side like a yoga instructor gearing up for class. “Do you mind if I come with you? I need to stretch my legs for a bit.”
“Of course not. Do you want to come, too, Brit?”
My sister shakes her head. “I’m going to sit here and work on my tan.”
There may be sunshine, but not enough for tanning. “Uhh—?”
She shoots me an evil look, narrowing her eyes. “Don’t ruin it for me. I know it’s not a lot of sun, but it feels great.”
“At least you don’t need sun block.” I get to my feet. “I’ll be back.”
Enid stumbles over her boots as we quietly head down the path toward the horses. She’s never been much for talking, so the silence between us doesn’t bother me. He
r constant fidgeting and clumsiness, however, does.
“Are you feeling alright? Your hands are shaking.”
She raises her eyebrows as though she wasn’t expecting me to speak. “B-being out here, so close to my home, so close to where … where—”
I pat her on the shoulder. “You don’t have to say it. I understand, Enid. I am truly sorry.”
I’ve only been awake for a short time, but today has been full of perpetual reminders as to why I’m here. Pain. Loss. Everyone experiences them at some point in their lives, but here, people live and deal with them every conscious moment.
We reach the bottom of the stone path and find the horses tied to a tree. Bowen, Euraid, and Luatha stand still with their heads down. But Mirain flattens her ears, and she snorts.
“Hey, girl. It’s just me.” After crossing the short distance between the edge of the path and tree, I lift my hand and allow her to nudge my palm with her warm, rough nose.
She lets out a deep sigh.
“Good girl. I have to get a chicken from Bowen’s saddle then take it to the children. We’ll visit later.”
At his spoken name, Bowen lifts his head.
“That’s right, Bowen. I’m talking about you.”
I trail my hand down Mirain’s neck, along her side then stop at her hindquarters and give a pat.
“Y-you do have a w-way with horses,” Enid says.
I look over my shoulder.
Her face pales. She has dark circles under her eyes, and her hands tremble even worse than before. Enid looks like a diabetic on the verge of a coma.
“When was the last time you ate?”
“Y-yesterday. B-before b-b-bed.”
“Do you often get weak from not eating?”
She tilts her head to the side. Her blue eyes and dirty-blond hair do little to add color to her pallor. “Y-yessss.”
“Well, let me get the chicken, and we’ll hurry back to cook it.”
Enid crosses her arms over her chest as if she’s holding back the trembles.
The chicken dangles by a rope over Bowen’s saddle. I rush over, then work to untie the knot holding the bird. I hate knots. I don’t have long fingernails, so getting the tightly wound twine to come apart is nearly impossible.