I drag Ryder out of the bed and breakfast, and catch Marcie giving me a sad, pitying smile. She no doubt thinks I’m getting myself into something bad with Ryder.
She then shouts, “I’ll tell Chloe you said hello, Ryder.”
I don’t know who Chloe is, but I know she’s driving her point home.
When we get to the car, I say, “Who’s Chloe? And how many girls have you screwed in this town?”
“I don’t screw everyone.”
“Just anything with a vagina and legs?”
“That’s anti-no legs,” he says. “I would never alienate people without body parts.”
“You really are a whore,” I mutter.
“I don’t get paid for it.”
“Tell me, Ryder,” I say as he unlocks the doors. I open mine and get in. He does, too, but he doesn’t answer me. “Ryder,” I snap. “Answer me.”
“I thought you didn’t care about the girls I used to get involved with,” he says.
“So, you were involved with Chloe? And Courtney?”
He doesn’t answer and instead puts the car in drive.
“Courtney? Courtney Denver?” he asks.
“Yep, she’s one of Aunt Dorothy’s girls, and I overheard her and Marcie talking.”
“So, I’m guessing you found something?” he asks, once again changing the subject.
“In fact, I did,” I say. “But I want some answers from you, too.”
“You really want to know about Chloe, huh?” he says almost too cockily.
“Actually, Chloe is not my concern. Why does everyone think you and Felicia were screwing around? I thought you said you’d never touch her.”
“I didn’t touch her,” he says. “I would never touch her.”
“Really? That’s hard to believe: Ryder Frost won’t touch a girl.”
“And Felicia would never touch me,” he adds.
“Because she hates you? I never understood why.”
“Even though she pushed you away, she never would have betrayed you that way.”
I laugh. Felicia betrayed me in so many ways. Betraying me by dating Ryder wasn’t anything special.
“She knew how much I hurt you when we were kids. Never forgave me. Like you. And she didn’t want to spend time with me. Not really.”
“So, you spent time with her?”
“As I told you before, I did it because I was her tutor and she exposed my father’s lies to me. I did what she wanted. Maybe Marcie spotted us together when we stopped to get coffee. I don’t know.”
“Did you get coffee with Felicia often?”
He sighs. “As a pretense. Yes, sometimes we would tutor at the coffee shop. That’s probably all Marcie knows. Anyway, why would you listen to anything Marcie says? I rejected her multiple times in the past. I doubt she was saying that shit for the reason you think. Probably just jealous.”
I roll my eyes. A likely story.
“So, tell me what you saw, what you found out.”
I decide to drop the subject for the time being, and instead say, “I found my aunt’s contact list and a list of all Felicia’s clients. There are tons of codenames for them. The Naughty Doctor, the Desperate Housewife. Felicia had quite a few female clients. Not something I suspected,” I say.
“Girl’s gotta do what she’s gotta do. Maybe she enjoyed it.”
I laugh. “Yeah, right. Felicia was always bragging about sex with Jaxon. It was the best she’d ever had. He had a huge dick.”
“Don’t get your hopes up. Felicia said a lot of things she didn’t mean. And I’ve seen Jaxon in the buff.” He wiggles his eyebrows at me.
“My aunt got a text from one of Felicia’s clients on her secret phone.”
“Oh?”
“The last client Felicia ever saw,” I add. “So, I texted back.”
“What?” he yells, making my ears ring. “Lake! What if your aunt finds out?”
“I deleted the texts and told him not to send any messages.”
“And you believe it?”
I shrug. “I don’t know, but I don’t care.”
“So, what did you two talk about?”
“He wants to see a new girl. Seems eager to see someone as soon as possible. Anyway, I told him my girl would contact him in order to set something up. He believed me and that was that.”
“And you’re that girl? You know if you give this guy your phone number he’s gonna contact you after this.”
“Well, we could use your phone number.” I bat my eyelashes.
“I don’t know, Lake.”
“I thought you’d be pleased.”
“And what exactly are you planning? Showing up there and doing what, exactly?”
“Well, I don’t know. I was thinking maybe I show up ready to seduce and instead we blindside him and interrogate?”
“What makes you think it’s a him?”
I shrug. “Just a feeling. Anyway, what do you say? We can play good cop, slutty cop. The surprise will shock him.”
“Which guy will this be anyway?” he asks.
“I believe his name was the Naughty Doctor. I don’t know much about doctors, but our town is small and most of the doctors are old men. Gives me the heebie-jeebies.”
“Well, maybe he’s not a doctor doctor. Maybe he has a doctorate,” Ryder says.
“Wow, you know what a doctorate is,” I say in faux amazement.
“I know a lot of things.”
“Like Felicia’s fetishes?”
He says through clenched teeth, “I did not screw Felicia. Believe me. I didn’t.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Well, that’s on you.” He sounds more exasperated than he looks. “I don’t like your idea.”
“Why not?”
“Because it puts you in a very dangerous position.”
“Well, do you have any other ideas?”
“Sadly, no. But I don’t want you going into that house alone.”
“What if I make sure the door is unlocked so you can rush in when you want to?”
“Lake … I don’t know about this.”
“I think you’re just jealous.”
“Jealous?” He seems surprised.
“Jealous that I got the information, and that my idea is better than your no idea.”
He laughs. “I am jealous, but not in the way you think.”
“Ryder Frost, jealous of some pervert, then? You know I know how to defend myself.”
“I’m not jealous of that. Believe me. No fucker is going to touch you.”
“Possessive, too?”
“Very,” he says.
“I’m not interested in possessive guys.”
“Are you suggesting how I should act if I want you to go out with me?”
I purse my lips.
“Just kidding. I am jealous, but not about some perv.”
“Then what?”
“You seem very interested in Jaxon Smith and his relationship with Felicia, but he’ll never be interested in you.”
It feels like I’ve just been punched in the gut. Doesn’t he already know I know that? “I’m aware he’s not interested in me. Not that way. At least, that’s what I’ve thought …”
“So, the guy talks to you a little and you get your hopes up?”
“I don’t get my hopes up, Ryder. My only hopes are getting out of this small town, like Felicia. At least, they have been for years.”
“And now?”
“Now, I want to find out who killed my mom. And then leave.”
“You’re moving out of California, right? For school?”
“I got early admission. Yeah.” I say, and realize I have no idea where Ryder is even going to college. “You?”
“Hmm?”
“Where are you going? Not that I care or anything, but I was just wondering.”
“I’m going away, too,” he says. “Stop changing the subject. You are not going to get me to agree to this dumb plan of yours.”
“It’s not dumb. I can take care of myself, and I know how to defend myself. My dad prepared me.”
“Yeah,” he says. “And you think you can take on whatever this guy is?”
“I can ask through text what his fetishes are, stuff like that.”
“No, you can’t. Think about it. Dorothy would have prepared her workers. Lake—”
Ryder’s phone is sitting on the center console and I grab it before he can do anything. He’s driving, after all.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
I already have my phone out with the picture of the address book. I dial the number and send a text before Ryder can grab it.
“Lake! What did you just do?”
“I sent a message,” I say. “To meet up tonight.”
“Tonight?” He blanches.
“It’s the afternoon. We have time to go to the mall for me to grab some sort of undergarment to wear.”
“Undergarment? What are you, eighty? Lake, we’re not going shopping and you’re not—”
A ding from his phone makes me jump and I look down.
“There we go. We have three hours.”
“Lake, this isn’t a good idea.”
“Drive me to the mall, Ryder,” I say stubbornly.
“Lake—”
“Come on, Ryder. I’ll …” An idea sprouts in my mind, and though I absolutely loathe it, I have to convince him some way or another. “You can check out the outfits I try on. Or whatever. Okay? I’ll show them to you.”
His eyes widen and his jaw drops in shock. “At a lingerie store? Lake, do you even know what you’re saying to an eighteen-year-old boy? Do you know what you’re suggesting?”
“I’m suggesting you look at outfits with me. Not lingerie, idiot. I’m not going to wear lingerie.”
“What else are you going to wear?”
“Something slutty but not lingerie, okay?”
“Something slutty? I don’t know how I feel about you wearing something slutty for some other guy.”
“It’s for Felicia.”
“Even worse,” he says.
“For my mother. And you’ll get to see me before they do. So, yeah.” My face heats at the very idea I’m suggesting. What am I doing? How desperate am I?
Very. That’s my answer. I’m very desperate.
Ryder turns to face me, his silver eyes sparkling like twinkling stars. “Fine.”
“Happy?”
“Not really, but fine.”
“Glad that’s settled, then.”
“Yes,” he says, trying not to smile.
I sink down in my seat as my inner voice berates me for what I’ve just done.
Chapter 11
I can’t believe I’m doing this. No, I can. I just don’t want to believe it.
After our visit with my aunt, Ryder and I went to the mall—the mall he’s supposedly banned from. He led me into one of the more risqué stores. I wanted to go to an average department store, but he said, “If you’re going to do it, you might as well go all out.”
And so, here at Amanda’s Treasures, I’m standing in a dressing room, looking at myself in the mirror. It’s not like I’m only wearing a corset. No, I’m wearing a nighty that feels uncomfortable, yet looks sexy at the same time. Never in my life did I think I could look sexy. But the outfit fits to every curve of my body. It’s black, like my soul, with frills along the cups that make my boobs look good. It goes down to my mid-thigh and makes me feel chilly. It’s tight around my waist but flares out, masking my hips. It’s spaghetti strapped, like all of the other stuff out there.
“Lake, I’m waiting,” Ryder says from outside the dressing room.
I cringe. Yes, this was my idea, and no, I didn’t argue against any of it, but I am still nervous as fuck about going out there and showing Ryder what my dead mama gave me.
I take a deep breath and watch my breasts bounce as I breathe out. I open the curtain to the room and expose myself to Ryder and the saleswoman. He’s talking to her, making her laugh. She’s middle aged, which shocked me, but I’m just glad I didn’t have to deal with someone my age. Though, someone her age getting me in an outfit like this should be illegal … even though I am eighteen.
I clear my throat and Ryder turns from the woman to me. His eyes bulge out and his jaw goes slack. He looks like the big bad wolf in that old Looney Tunes skit where Little Red Riding Hood is some sort of jazz singer.
“I’m not going to ask what you think, if that’s what you were thinking,” I say as heat rushes up my neck to my face.
“I … wow … I just …” He can’t get any words out.
“Leave them speechless, darlin’,” says the saleswoman. “I’ll leave you both to it.”
She turns from us and stalks away. Leave us both to it? What does she think is gonna happen? Does she usually have couples screw in the dressing room? Not that Ryder and I would do anything of the sort but … oh god, my face. No doubt my pasty skin is now crimson.
“I’m pretty sure I’m dreaming.”
“If you are, it’s my nightmare.”
“Lake, you look … amazing.”
“I’m not going to ask your opinion. Remember that.”
“I know, but I’m going to give it to you anyway,” he says. “You look fantastic. Damn, girl.”
“Damn, girl?” I feel naked in front of him.
“It’s a compliment,” he says.
“I’m aware of what that means. However, that does not compute with me,” I respond.
“Does not compute?” He laughs. “What are you, a computer? Have you been ignoring my praise of your appeal for the last four years?”
“Why, yes, I have, because it wasn’t praise. It was making fun of me.”
His brow puckers in confusion. “I’m sorry, what? You think I’m making fun of you when I tell you you’re beautiful?”
“Yes, I do. Because you are. It’s obvious.”
“How so?” he asks.
I roll my eyes. “Ryder, stop. You’ve been making fun of me for years.”
“Is that truly what you’ve thought this whole time? That I’ve just been making fun of you?”
I sigh and start to head back into the dressing room when he grabs ahold of my arm. His touch is warm and rough, and my skin prickles with goosebumps. I feel warm. Warmer than I’d ever care to admit. It must be the outfit. It’s embarrassing, so I’m flushing. That must be it.
I turn to face him. He’s looking down at me with the most astonishing expression. It’s one I’ve never seen Ryder have before. His thick brown brows are drawn together, his mouth set into a firm line, and his eyes … they don’t sparkle with amusement like they usually do. They look hard, serious.
“Why would I bully you for years?” he asks.
“I don’t know. To torment me? I mean, it all started back in elementary—”
“Don’t tell me you’ve been holding a grudge against me when I was eleven. Lake, seriously? You’ve thought … I mean …”
I don’t know why, but my heart does this little sputtering thing as he watches me. I must have heartburn. That’s it. That’s also why I’m out of breath, too. “I know you’ve hated me for years, Ryder. You just love to torment me.”
“I don’t love to torment you. I didn’t think it was tormenting. I thought … I know you don’t like me that way, but our little game we play—”
“Game? What game?”
“The one where we banter back and forth, where I tell you how much I like you and you respond with crass words. It’s a game.”
“Are you nuts? That’s me rejecting you. Outright. And you don’t like me. You never have.”
“I have totally liked you,” he responds, and I still in my spot.
“No,” I say. It can’t be. “That’s not possible.”
“Why isn’t it possible?” he asks.
Because … Felicia.
“Why isn’t it possible, Lake?”
I’ve known for years, thanks to Felicia when we were kids, that Ryder has hated me, that he’s wanted to torment me. It’s what she always said, and when she abandoned me, she still made me very aware of Ryder’s feelings toward me. Felicia, in return, never befriended Ryder. It was the only thing I could be thankful for—that the two of them didn’t team up to bully Lake together. But now, Ryder is telling me something different. Something he seems certain about.
“I’ve never played games with you, Ryder. I didn’t like you.”
“Didn’t—”
I hold up my hand. “I don’t. Not in that way. Not really in any way.”
He drops my hand and I instantly feel chilly. There’s something wrong with me. I must be having hot/cold flashes. He shoves his hands into his pockets. “I don’t believe that.”
“Well, believe it,” I say, and turn back to change.
The curtain closes and I hear him mutter, “Fuck me sideways on the Fourth of July.”
I take a moment to breathe, because I’ve barely been breathing since I stepped out and had his eyes rove over me. Ryder is wrong; I don’t like him that way. I never have. I never will. It can never happen. Even if I believed for a second that he liked me all this time, which I don’t, I could never truly like Ryder that way.
As I think the words, I can’t help but feel uneasy.
I never thought Ryder had one of those veins in his neck that visibly pulses when he’s upset, but then again, he keeps surprising me.
After, we go to a department store where I buy a trench coat and then a party store where I buy a masquerade mask. Once that’s done, I go to the public bathroom and changed into my new outfit. Sure, this is a stupid plan, but it was my stupid plan and I’m going all out on it.
I shoot a text to Dad to see how he’s doing but he doesn’t answer back and I assume he’s just busy with his book.
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