What about Dad? What about my promise to him? The voices shouted over one another, blurring into a confusing mess of noise.
Gritting her teeth, Anna took a deep breath and forced those thoughts down. Roman stared at her, and the uncharacteristic uncertainty in his eyes made things at once easier and harder. There was only one way forward that she could bear, Anna realized. She couldn't keep lying to him, not even by omission.
"I'm one of them," she blurted, getting the words out before she could second-guess herself into silence again. "One of the rebels, I mean."
Roman frowned, sitting up and looking at her intently. The confusion in his eyes grew and he opened his mouth to speak. Anna hurried on, not trusting herself to continue if he interrupted her confession. She knew that she'd leap on any excuse to stop.
"My father is behind the attacks, Roman. I was supposed to watch you, to let him know where you were and when you were leaving the airport. That's why we were on the same flight, why we met." She sniffed, trying to hold back her tears. "I wasn't even supposed to speak to you."
"That's ridiculous," Roman said, voice low, certain, comforting. His belief in her just made Anna feel guiltier, and she turned away as he continued. "I don't know what's going on, but I do know that you warned me about the first attack. And you saved my life today — that woman would have shot me dead if you hadn't grabbed her gun."
He reached out a hand for her, and Anna jerked away. If he touched her she knew her resolve would falter, and she'd never unburden herself to him. "That was my sister, Victoria. And of course I warned you — I don't want you dead Roman. I—I don't know what I want!"
She couldn't look at him; it was too much for her. Seeing his wonderful body, the face that she cared for so much, made everything worse. Not to mention the bandaged wound, the wound she was responsible for. If I hadn't met him, he wouldn't have gotten shot. This is all my fault!
Standing, she turned her back on him, pacing the bedroom floor and picking up her clothes.
"Once we met, I was confused. You tie me in knots, Roman! I know you're a good man but you're still a prince, you're still part of the family that rules for no other reason than your birth! I don't know what to do, but I know that I can't do this!"
Ann threw up her hands, her gesture taking in her life for the days they'd spent together. "I can't be your princess, Roman."
She looked back at him and saw that she was finally getting through. Confusion was giving way to anger in his eyes, and he growled. "You’re serious, aren't you? Your family... they are the ones who attacked me? Who nearly got you killed?"
The anger in his voice was palpable, and Anna shrank back from it. From him. For the first time since they met, she was afraid of him, aware of him as the predator he was. Even now, rage boiling in his voice, he wasn't directing it at her. His anger was at her family, but even so she could feel the danger he represented.
"Yes," she choked out her answer, fighting an urge to flee.
The floor creaked as Roman stood, and she took a step backward. His face clouded with anger, he towered over her. "They want to kill me because of my family? Because an accident of birth put me in line to the throne? A throne I don't even want! And you're part of that?"
His rage was terrifying, and what was worse, she couldn't blame him for it. Roman had every right to be angry with her and her family — she'd been part of a plot to kill him, part of a conspiracy against him and his brothers. Just because they were born to the wrong family.
She forced herself to look him in the eyes. He deserved to know everything. Anna knew that whatever fate had bound them together for, she couldn't lie about her past, or the future. Gathering her courage, she spoke over his anger. There was one option, one possible way that they could move forward together, and she forced herself to speak.
"Roman, you need to hear this," she said, swallowing her fear. She walked back towards him, trying not to shake with fear. "My family are dangerous people, and as long as you stay here you're in danger from them. From us. But if you leave the country, if you turn your back on the throne, then you're free. You'll be safe."
She reached out, putting her hand on his bare chest and feeling his racing, furious heartbeat. "We'd be safe, Roman. You and me, we could run away from all this. Please."
For a moment, he just looked down at her, his jaw working. Then he placed his hand on top of hers, moving slowly as though fighting for control.
"And abandon my brothers to walk into this trap? Abandon our country and our heritage?" His voice was angry, harsh, but she could hear the anguish under it. The wish that it could be so simple. "You know I would never do that, Anna. I won't turn this country over to a revolution that tries to murder its way to power. I wouldn't do that even if it wasn't my family they were trying to kill."
That was like a knife of ice to Anna's heart. Roman had snatched away her one hope, desperate as it was, that they could be together and make this work. She sobbed, and felt his hand tense on top of hers. His breath was an angry, animal growl.
"Anna," he said, and it was clear that he had to fight to keep his words human. "This revolution. Did they — did you — kill my parents?"
She couldn't look at him. Snatching her hand back, she cradled it to her chest, but she forced herself to answer.
"I don't know," she said, her voice small. A heartbeat passed, and she made herself complete the answer. "I think so."
He deserves the truth, she thought. But it cost her more than she could express to speak those words, knowing what it would do to him. And to them, if there even was a 'them' anymore. How could there be? Whatever her feelings for him, and his for her, how could they bridge the chasm she had opened between them?
The growl he gave in answer wasn't human. It started loud and grew to a deafening roar as he shifted, his body growing as he pulled away from her and landed on all four paws as a lion. The bandages she'd wrapped around his shoulder tore as he transformed, and the weight of him shook the floor.
Anna backed away through the doorway as he unleashed his rage on a bedside table, smashing it to splinters with one swipe of his mighty paw. Even now she knew that she was safe from him, that he would never deliberately hurt her, but she couldn't bear to see him in such pain. And she had no place at his side now, she knew that. No matter how painful it was for her, she had to go.
Snatching up the car keys from the table, she ran for the door, wiping tears from her eyes.
* * *
Roman heard the door slam behind her and froze for a moment. The desire to chase after her warred with the question of what to do with her when he caught her, and he felt the rage boiling in his heart. There was no good answer to that question, nothing he could stomach. Lashing out again, he surrendered his self-control entirely, his lion unleashing its rage on the room. Now that Anna was out of the way, there was nothing to hold him back and he gave himself over to the destructive urges which consumed him.
He didn't know how long he spent in that frenzy, but when he started to think clearly again, the room was a wreck. Claw marks gouged the walls, the furniture had been reduced to pieces no larger than his paw, and he ached all over. His right foreleg burned with pain, and he felt sick. But the anger was still there, coloring his every thought.
Even this destruction hadn't been enough to calm him down.
Snarling, he shifted back into human form and stomped through to the chalet's living room. Through the window, he could see that the car was gone. Good, he thought, ignoring the pang of nausea that brought. Good riddance to everything from those murdering bastards.
Forcing himself not to think about Anna and what she'd meant to him, he tried to plan ahead. That wasn't easy. Until her confession, his every thought of the future had included Anna, and now she was gone it was like an aching void in his heart. Roman shook himself, trying to ignore that and plan anyway. There was a group of revolutionaries in the country, one that had waited patiently for their chance to strike and wipe out the royal fami
ly. That needed to be dealt with.
But here I am, in the middle of nowhere. With nothing. Not even clothes. Roman resisted the urge to smash something else at that thought, looking around for something that would help. He didn't fancy trying to make his way back to the castle on foot — it wouldn't be too bad as a lion, but with his wound he wasn't sure he could make it that far. But he couldn't just stay here.
As much as he didn't want to think about it, he had to consider the possibility that Anna was even now telling her rebel friends where he was. They could be there any time, and he knew he was in no condition to fight another battle right now. The thought of tearing some attackers limb from limb did make him feel a little better, though.
Fortunately for him, the chalet had a landline. Roman grabbed the handset from the wall, not really expecting it to be connected but willing to try it anyway. To his surprise he heard a dial tone. He didn't waste any more time, and a minute later he was on the line to Sophie at the castle.
"Send a car for me," he said after a quick explanation of where he was. "Guards, too. And a change of clothes."
To her credit, she didn't waste time on questions. Within half an hour he was in the back of a black SUV, flanked by grim-faced armed men and dressed in fresh clothes. The men were those who'd been with him at the bank, and they had a stubbornly determined look about them. They weren't about to let him out of their sight again.
He knew he should apologize. They were blaming themselves for the fact that he'd gotten shot, but it wasn't their fault that he'd raced off ahead of them into a trap. They'd turned up too late to do anything other than call in the attack, and he could see it eating at them.
I'll talk to them later, he promised himself. Right now he was too angry. Anything he said would just make things worse.
The chalet soon vanished from the rear-view mirror, and he was glad to see it go. Now he had another bad memory to associate with it, he didn't think he'd ever want to see it again.
God, how could I be so stupid, he thought to himself. I should have known there was something wrong with Anna from the start. How could I let her get so far into my heart when she's one of them?
Cursing himself for ignoring the warning signs, Roman felt himself knot up with rage and sorrow. His anger widened, falling on himself, on Anna, on fate itself for bringing them together when she was already betraying him. On her family for being set against his, and against his own for holding the throne. If I wasn't a prince, maybe we'd be together. But then we'd never have met.
Closing his eyes and leaning back, he let his new guards worry about the safety of the journey. He was too busy dealing with the awful crash of emotions in his heart and soul. His lion's fury threatened to overwhelm him again as he thought about the people who had taken so much from him and his family. The killers who had murdered his parents, who had tried to kill him and his brothers, and now wanted to finish what they'd started.
I shouldn't have let her go, I should have questioned her, he thought, slamming a fist into his knee in frustration. Now how will I track them down?
But he knew he couldn't have done that to Anna. Despite everything her family had done to his, he loved her, and she had saved his life. It didn't matter that it had been her who'd put him in danger in the first place. He couldn't help caring for her, and there was no way he could have had her arrested and questioned. He'd just have to wait for another chance to catch up with the rebels and put an end to their murderous revolution.
Opening his eyes, he saw the fairytale towers of Lionhead Castle rising before the car. He was nearly home, and as safe as he could be in Leotania. With a pang, he realized he'd never bring Anna back here again, at least not as his mate. If she got caught up in her family's plots again, she might be brought back as a prisoner.
The thought made him growl with a ferocity that made even his hardened guards flinch away from him.
18
The city rose around Anna, but she didn't see any of it. She drove on autopilot, barely conscious of the cars around her, wrapped in a blanket of misery through which she could hardly see. It felt as though every second took her further away from her only chance at happiness, but she couldn't turn back. She couldn't face Roman again, not with what he knew now.
Where am I even going? Her only destination when she left the chalet was 'away' but she found herself drawn back to the city like a magnet. Back to where she'd seen her sister last.
Only when she realized that she was on her way back to Colso's Bar did she start to think about what she was doing. By now it would be crawling with police at the very least, and she didn't want to get mixed up in that if she could help it. And it wasn't as though Victoria would be there, not anymore. She'd either be in custody or have made her escape.
Do I even want to find her? Anna sighed and pulled into a side street to park. Resting her head against the steering wheel she tried to think of some kind of plan for her future. Even something for the next day would be great.
If she was going to abandon Roman, then she had nowhere else to go but back to her family. And she had burned her bridges with Roman quite thoroughly when she left.
Okay, so how the hell do I find her? I don't even know her number. And then she remembered she didn't even have her phone anymore. Victoria stole it. Shit.
She'd wanted to cry since she drove away from the chalet, but held back. This was the last straw. Hugging herself, she doubled over and let herself sob into the steering wheel. She had to let out the pain somehow, and without anything better to do, she surrendered herself to the pain in her heart. The feeling that she had turned her back on the man she was supposed to be with, the only man who could complete her. The worst part of it was that she didn't know what else she could have done.
Eventually, she forced herself to pull together. This wasn't getting her anywhere, and she couldn't afford to sit there in a stolen car forever.
Alright, how do I do this? Let me think this through. I need to contact Victoria, and I don't have my phone or her number... she slapped herself on the forehead. Okay, those are two problems that solve each other.
Looking around, she spotted a payphone on the corner. That’s one advantage of the terrible cell service, she thought. Payphones are everywhere. Grateful for the fact that they were still common in Leotania, she raked through the glove compartment and found a few coins to feed it.
Dialing her own phone number, she waited for her sister to answer.
Within an hour she was in a rebel safe house somewhere in the city, surrounded by members of the resistance. She wasn't sure where — once Victoria had collected her from the phone booth, she'd wrapped herself in her misery again and paid little attention to anything outside the car. Now the sisters sat side by side in a cramped living room, waiting for their father. The men surrounding them didn't look at all friendly to Anna, glowering at her from where they leaned against the walls. Anna could tell that it was only Victoria's presence that kept them from acting on their anger. Their friends and comrades had been the ones who'd been killed and maimed in the fight against Roman and she was the one who'd spoiled their ambush.
Tough. If they didn't want me to mess up their plan, they should have told me what they were doing, Anna thought. She had enough guilt on her shoulders already, and she wasn't going to let them offload any more onto her. Glaring around at them, she met their angry looks and held each gaze until they broke eye contact.
She might be upset, but she wasn't going to give in to these men so easily.
Victoria squeezed her arm, half comforting and half warning her. A glance sideways at her sister showed Anna that under her cold exterior there was an undercurrent of worry and concern. It was well hidden but Anna knew her sister too well to miss what she was feeling. That's nice, considering that she got me into this mess, she thought, and then relented. It was nice to have her sister on her side, even a little bit.
The front door slammed, and the men jumped to something resembling attention as their lead
er stamped into the room. Anna's father was accompanied by another man, someone she didn't recognize, though there was something familiar about him. He was tall, broad-shouldered, powerful looking and though he wasn't a young man there was a dangerous air of energy around him. Whoever he was, he had to be important, or at least rich. His coat was finely tailored and beautifully made, the understated but expensive look of someone who was truly wealthy. The collar was turned up, and even inside he wore his hat pulled down low, concealing much of his face.
Anna's father, on the other hand, made no effort to hide his face or his angry expression. He was flushed a dark red, his eyes narrow, lips twisted into a snarl. He strode over to Anna without pausing to say hello.
Before she could say a word he lashed out, his palm striking her cheek hard enough to rock her backward. Anna yelped, too surprised to say anything, her hand rising to her stinging face, eyes going wide.
"Everyone out," her father hissed, and the men around them vanished out of the door. No one wanted to catch their leader's attention by disobeying him when he was in this mood. Seconds later, only the mysterious stranger and Victoria remained in the room with him and Anna.
He waited until the door was shut before speaking again, a vein pulsing on his forehead as he struggled with his anger.
"What. Did you. Do?" he ground the words out, as though each one cost him physical pain.
"I couldn't let them murder Roman," Anna blurted out. She hadn't known what she was going to say until she said it, and she didn't know if that was the right approach to take. Certainly it didn't calm her father, whose face darkened further. He raised his hand again, ready to slap her, and Anna recoiled in her seat, eyes closing instinctively.
The snap of skin on skin came again, but Anna felt no impact. Opening her eyes again, she saw Victoria standing between them, his wrist in gripped in her hand as she looked him calmly in the eye.
The Lion's Castle (The Lion Princes Book 1) Page 13