by ID Johnson
“You okay?” Candice asked, standing before her with her purse on her arm. “You look a little… pale.”
“I’m always pale,” Ru replied, shaking her head. “I’m fine. Just a little nervous maybe.”
“No need for that,” Candice said, patting her on the arm. “You’ll be fine.” She smiled, and Ru relaxed a little. “Now, I am meeting some friends at the watering hole, so I will get out of here.”
“Okay,” Ru said, following Candice as she headed toward the front door. A pang of jealousy at the thought of Candice with other friends hit, but then Ru remembered she was free to go out with whomever she chose, and even if she wasn’t going out with Cutter, Ru wouldn’t have wanted to go. Candice’s objective at bars was always very different than Ru’s. She’d be looking for a man, and Ru would’ve just wanted to have a few drinks with friends.
“Have a great time!” Candice said, wrapping her arms around Ru before she stepped outside the door. “Text me if you can.”
“You’ll be drunk,” Ru teased.
“True. I’ll probably text you. Or Cutter.”
Ru’s eyebrows shot up. “You’d better not!”
Laughing, Candice stepped down off the porch. “I can’t be held responsible for what I do while I’m intoxicated!”
Ru watched her get into her car, thinking about how terrible it could be if drunk-Candice sent some embarrassing text to Cutter while they were on their not-a-date or shortly thereafter. Wouldn’t that be a great way to end the evening, with an inquisition from her best friend?
Feeling Piper rub up against her leg, Ru bent down to stroke her and then checked the clock. Cutter should be there in just a few minutes. “Let’s go make sure you have enough food, kitty,” she said heading toward the kitchen. Piper’s bowl was mostly full, but Ru topped it off and checked the kitty litter, which was clean. She definitely didn’t want Cutter thinking her house smelled bad.
As she crossed back into the living room, headlights caught her attention. “All righty, Pipe. I’ll be back.” She knelt and stroked her kitty’s orange and white fur, listening to her purr, wondering if she should’ve said no when Cutter asked her to go to dinner with him. Life was a lot less complex when one spent the evening at home in pajamas.
She heard his footsteps on the porch and stood, grabbing her clutch and phone off of the table by the door just as he knocked. With a deep breath, Ru approached the door. Pulling it open, she forced a smile onto her face, even though her nerves were starting to get the better of her. She’d dated several guys, some of them even very attractive, but she’d never gone out with anyone like Cutter before.
He was wearing a blue shirt that closely matched the color of his eyes, and for a moment, looking into them, Ru was transported back into her dream and a different set of electric orbs. She pushed the thought aside and concentrated on the handsome man in front of her. “Hi,” she said, “how are you?”
“I’m great,” Cutter replied, smiling at her as he straightened his tie. “We match pretty well.”
Ru realized not only was his tie black, he was wearing black slacks. Feeling a little self-conscious about her outfit again, she shrugged, “Well, I had a lot of help from Candice.”
“Ah, I see,” Cutter nodded. “You look amazing.”
“Thank you. So do you,” Ru replied, grabbing her keys off of the hook next to the door so she could lock up behind herself. “Candice seems to think I am some sort of a doll she can dress however she likes.” She wasn’t sure any further explanation was in order, but she figured it couldn’t hurt for Cutter to think she was not responsible for the clothing she wore.
“She did a good job.”
His remark made her feel even more timid, and Ru averted her eyes. “Thanks. Shall we?”
“Yes, let’s do,” Cutter replied, stepping backward toward the steps.
Ru exited and locked the door behind her. He offered his arm to her, and she took it, letting him lead her to his blue Dodge Ram. She absently wondered if blue was his favorite color.
The air was slightly chilly and the sky was gray. The sun would be completely gone in a matter of minutes, and Ru could smell autumn encroaching in the air. Soon, it would be October, and then the nights would really start to cool off. Her boots crunched through leaves as he walked her the few steps to his vehicle.
Opening the door, Cutter stepped aside. “Here you go.” He stood next to the door, ready to help if she needed it, but Ru had no problem popping up into his truck. Cutter closed the door and went around to the other side and climbed in. The truck was already running so once they were buckled in, he backed out of the driveway.
“Do you mind if we head to White Plains?” he asked. “There’s a Mexican restaurant there I’d like to try if that works for you.”
“Sure,” Ru shrugged. White Plains was only about twenty minutes away and it beat trying one of the local restaurants where they might be interrupted by students—or their parents—who would likely want to know what they were doing there together.
“So, you’ve lived here your whole live, except for college?” Cutter asked as they headed out of town.
“Yes,” Ru replied, looking out of the window. There were quite a few cars on the roads, likely other people headed to restaurants or other points of interest on a Saturday night.
“And where did you go to school?”
“The University at Buffalo.”
“I always thought that was a strange name,” Cutter said, glancing at her quickly before returning his attention to the road. “Why isn’t it ‘of’?”
Shrugging, Ru said, “I don’t know. I guess I never really thought about it. Where did you go to school?”
Cutter ran a hand through his hair, and she studied him for a moment. This shouldn’t be a difficult question. She’d seen diplomas hanging in his classroom, but she had never read them to see what they said.
“Uh, NYU,” he replied, finally.
“You sure about that?” Ru teased. He sounded like he wasn’t positive that was the case.
“No.” She couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at him, but he laughed and added, “Right now, I’m not sure about much of anything.”
Ru could definitely relate to the feeling, but she assumed he meant getting used to a new grade-level at a new school in a new town. “You’re doing great,” she said, and he looked at her once again. “Your kids are really starting to come together. I know it’s hard teaching more than just math, but don’t sell yourself short. We’ve only had two weeks of school, and the first one is just trying to remember their names and get them all home from school safe.”
“Right.” He nodded, but she didn’t hear a lot of conviction in his voice. Maybe that’s what he wanted to talk to her about—maybe he was thinking he should go back to NYC. The idea of him leaving didn’t sit right with her, but Ru told herself not to jump to conclusions.
“Where are you living now?” Ru asked, thinking a change in subject away from school was in order. What she really wanted to ask had to do with her car, but she felt she should probably ease into that one.
“Well, my cousin and I are fixing up a house out in the woods, sort of close to Briarcliff Manor, near the state park.”
“Oh!” Ru was very familiar with the area, having gone hiking in Rockefeller many times. “That’s neat. How old?”
“Pretty old,” Cutter replied, adjusting his wrist on the steering wheel.
The answer seemed clipped, and Ru wasn’t sure what to think. Did he not know? “Tell me about your cousin.” Maybe he’d be willing to talk about that.
Cutter laughed, and Ru thought perhaps she’d hit a topic he might actually elaborate on. “Rider is… a mess, to put it nicely. He’s a big, goofy guy with a heart almost as large as his appetite. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he’s in shape. But I’ve never seen anyone pack it away like that guy.”
Ru couldn’t help but laugh with him. “He sounds like a good guy. What does he do?”
“R
ight now, he’s working on restoring the house.” The answer seemed short again, like he wasn’t telling her the whole truth. “We have a couple of friends staying there at the moment, too. It’s a lot of work, but it’s keeping him out of trouble.”
“That’s cool.” Ru didn’t bother to comment that she wasn’t sure if it was hospitable or stupid for him to let his unemployed cousin mooch off of him while he allegedly repaired his old house. “Who are the friends? Are they from around here?”
“No, we grew up together. They’re from the same place I’m from.”
The answer was evasive but sparked another question. She’d asked him before where he was from, and his answer was always cryptic. “And where is that?”
Cutter looked at her for longer than she thought he should since he was driving before turning back to the road. After much thought, he said, “We grew up in a pretty sheltered community. Our parents raised us following specific guidelines, and no one lives in the place where we grew up except for people like us.”
Ru couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. “You mean like… a cult?” She hoped the question wasn’t rude, but the description sounded so peculiar to her.
“Not exactly,” he shrugged. “It’s sort of hard to explain.” He ran his hand through his hair again. “There’s so much I want to tell you, Ru, but I also don’t want to overwhelm you.”
Once again, she was puzzled. “You can tell me anything,” she reassured him. Why would learning about his past be overwhelming to her? A look out the window let her know they were almost to White Plains. Perhaps, once they reached the restaurant, he’d be more willing to talk.
“Thanks,” Cutter said. “It’s just… some of it will be hard for you to digest.”
“You mean like how you started my car with no keys?” She laughed, but it was out of nervousness, not amusement. The idea that he could tell her something that would be hard for her to handle made her nervous. She remembered Candice’s comment that first day. Was it possible she was related to Cutter? Could he know her birth mom?
His only response was a resounding, “Yes.”
Ru couldn’t think of anything else to say, so she turned her attention back out the windshield and watched the street lights as Cutter navigated toward the restaurant. She still had that feeling that whatever happened tonight would change everything.. She just didn’t know if it would be for the better—or worse.
Cutter found a parking spot and pulled in. With a deep breath, Ru steeled herself and waited for him to come around and get her door. He helped her step down and offered his arm again, which she took. The wind had picked up, and it was getting even more chilly outside. She was glad she had on her jacket.
The ambiance of the restaurant was festive, with bright red, blue, and green décor. A lovely young lady with long, dark hair took them to a booth, and shortly thereafter, a young man presented them with menus and chips and salsa. Cutter ordered iced tea while Ru decided it would be a good night for a margarita considering Cutter said he had a lot to tell her.
They studied the menu in silence, though Ru did occasionally glance over top of hers to see what he was doing. Cutter appeared to be deep in thought, his strong jaw set, and she assumed it had nothing to do with the chimichangas.
Once Manuel, the waiter, brought them their drinks and they’d both ordered, Ru looked at Cutter expectantly. He smiled at her, folded his hands, and said, “Ru, tell me about your childhood.”
His tone sounded almost like a psychologist or a counselor, and she wasn’t quite sure how to take the request. She tried to never talk about her childhood if she could help it, but as had happened a few times before, she was compelled to tell him everything. Taking a chip and dipping it in her own personal salsa, she popped it into her mouth, prolonging her contemplation before she’d be forced to respond. Chasing the chip down with a drink, she finally asked, “What do you want to know?”
“Everything,” he replied, his blue eyes nothing but sincere. “You were adopted, weren’t you?”
“How do you know that?” She was certain she’d never mentioned it to him.
He shrugged. “I know more than I probably should. Liddy Brown adopted you when you were two?”
“Three,” she corrected, although he could be right for all she knew. Questioning how he’d gotten that information was pointless. Clearly, he wasn’t willing to divulge much at this juncture. “I don’t know what there is to tell. I grew up pretty poor. Mom worked as a cashier and a part-time custodian, trying to provide for us. She said that she agreed to take me in because I would supplement her income.”
Cutter grimaced at the words. “So… did she treat you like a burden?”
Though she’d never thought of it quite that harshly, Ru realized that was a good word. “I guess so,” she replied, playing it off. She tried not to think about it whenever she could avoid it. “What does this have to do with anything?”
“And your reaction to electronics--when did that start?”
“As long ago as I can remember,” she replied, growing a little annoyed at the fact that he wouldn’t answer her. “I’ve always had difficulties with anything mechanical.”
“Do you remember shorting out appliances when you were little?”
Ru vividly remembered her mother’s reaction to the refrigerator, the hot water heater, and other electronics. Her sister’s MP3 player, countless hairdryers and toasters, a phone at her mother’s friend’s house. “Yes.”
Cutter only nodded. “Do you think part of Liddy’s anger toward you had to do with that?”
Wondering where he might be headed with this line of questioning, Ru said, “I don’t know. Maybe. Seriously, Cutter, why are you asking me all of this?”
“I’m sorry, Ru. I just… I need some information from you so I can best figure out how to tell you what I need to say.”
Manuel came with their food then, and Ru thanked him before digging into her enchiladas. They were covered with thick queso, so she opted to use a fork. Cutter dug into his tacos, and they ate in silence for several minutes. This not-a-date was definitely not going the way she’d expected. She tried to think of a lighter topic to explore, but before she could come up with anything, the inquisition had begun again.
“Do you have any memories at all of your birth parents?”
Ru set her fork aside. “No,” she replied, quickly. Why was he so stuck on this topic.
“Nothing at all?”
With a sigh, Ru wiped her mouth on her napkin. “No, Cutter. I don’t remember either one of them. Liddy said she didn’t think my mom even knew who my father was. She said…” her voice caught a bit as she remembered the harsh words spat at her as a small child by a woman who was tasked to love her but couldn’t find it in herself to do so, “she said my mom was an acquaintance, someone she met at the grocery store who was looking to get rid of her child because she couldn’t handle me anymore. She said my mom explained that she had the necessary paperwork. If Liddy would take me, the state would give her a nice stipend. Liddy said she asked her why she wanted to get rid of me, and my mom said, ‘She’s ruined my life.’ And when Liddy asked her what my name was, she said… she said… Ruin.” She’d never told him her full name before, had even lied to him when he’d asked. Her eyes were starting to mist up, and Ru contemplated excusing herself to go to the restroom and calm down, but before she could do so, Cutter reached across the table and took her hand.
Glancing down at where his flesh rested on hers, she could not only feel a pulse of energy, it was as if she could actually see an ebb of blue arching from his fingertips to the back of her hand. She blinked, not sure what she was seeing, and when she opened her eyes again, it was gone. “Ru, look at me.” His words were almost a command, and she couldn’t help but meet his eyes. “What I have to tell you is going to alter your whole world, but I need you to trust me. The first thing you need to know is, that’s not your name.”
Chapter 10
Ru stared into Cutter’s eyes
dumbfounded. She yanked her hand away from his, folding them into her lap. “What do you mean?” she asked. “What do you mean that’s not my name? Of course it is. I’ve seen my own birth certificate.”
Cutter looked around, as if checking to see if other patrons were looking in their direction, her voice was so loud. No one seemed to be paying them any mind by Ru’s account, but she honestly didn’t care if they did. “Listen, Ru, I can explain everything. And I will. But I’m not sure this is the place to do it.”
“Well, you picked it,” she reminded him, tossing her napkin down on the table next to her only half-eaten entrée.
“No, I know,” he replied. “That’s not what I meant. I don’t think any restaurant, any public place, is the right one for this discussion.”
Ru crossed her arms. “Cutter, why don’t you stop the bullshit, and tell me what the hell is going on. You show up here, right before school starts. You can fix things no one else can. You seem to know an awful lot about me, and now you’re essentially telling me I’m not who I think I am. So get on with it. What the hell is this?”
With a deep breath, Cutter ran his hand through his hair and tried again. “Ru, I didn’t come here to take a job teaching fourth grade at Thomas Elementary because I am tired of big city life. I came here to find you. And I can tell you exactly why, but I think you should come back to my house so I can show you a few things.”
“Oh, that doesn’t sound sleazy at all.” Ru grabbed her clutch and began to slide out of the booth, wondering how much it would cost to get an Uber home from here, but Cutter reached across the table again, grabbing her arm and stopping her.
“Ru, I can explain your mishaps with electronics, the vivid dreams you have, even the scars on your back, if you’ll just give me a chance.”