Jo said nothing. Instead she sat up and carefully took Cadie's wineglass out of her hand, placing it on the coffee table along with her own before she turned back to face the blonde. As Jo leaned towards her, a sexy half-smile on her face, Cadie slid her arms around the tall woman's waist, reveling in the feel of the cool silk of the robe and the warm body beneath it. She pulled gently and Jo came closer until they could feel each other's breath on their lips.
"Arcadia?" Jo breathed.
"Mmm?"
"I think it's a very... very... good idea."
Their mouths came together in a tender explosion of sensation that took Cadie's breath away. Softness mingled with a rush of tugging, aching passion as their mouths melted into each other. Jo slipped her arms around Cadie, pulling her closer as the kiss deepened and intensified. She felt Cadie open to her and marveled at it, following the blonde's lead into a slow, delicious exploration of tongues and lips. Small incoherent, passionate sounds mingled with the music that played softly in the background, and it was with a shock that Jo realized she was making at least half of them. Gently she cradled Cadie in her arms as they kissed. Then, as the sensations built up, she shifted position slightly and slowly lowered them down on to the couch, never breaking contact.
Cadie's mind had come to a complete standstill, overwhelmed by the surging ache that built, then receded, and climbed again as she and Jo moved sensually against each other. She felt Jo take her down till she was flat on the couch, and she surrendered to the sensation, tugging the taller woman down with her, loving the feel of Jo's weight above her. She slid her hands down to the small of Jo's back, pulling her even closer, eliciting a groan from the dark woman that gave Cadie chills as she deepened the kiss once again.
Every gaze, every spark of the past nine days coalesced in the long embrace. Hands moved slowly, tugging at clothing, teasing. Legs tangled together.
Cadie's hands moved slowly up Jo's sides and across her shoulders until she cupped the taller woman's face, her fingers tangled slightly in her long, dark hair. Jo broke the kiss and pulled back as they both gazed deep into each other's eyes, breathlessly. Cadie looked- up into startling blue orbs, their color deepened by desire.
"Oh, Jo," she whispered, brushing fingertips across the dark, full lips inches from her own. "This feels so... familiar." She smiled at the slightly raised eyebrow that elicited.
"Familiar, as in boring and unexciting?" Jo asked softly, leaning down to nuzzle the blonde's neck, working slowly towards the soft spot just below Cadie's ear, the tip of her tongue drawing a long, low groan from the American. Jo chuckled softly, a deep rumble close to her ear that made Cadie shiver. "I guess that answers that question," the skipper whispered.
Cadie nodded, smiling as she tried to find the words to explain what she meant. "I am so not bored and unexcited, trust me," she whispered and felt Jo laugh again. "I guess I meant that this feels like..." She hesitated and Jo pulled back again to gaze down into the blonde's gorgeous green eyes. "It feels like we have done this before. Like our bodies know just how to..." Her eyes drifted back to Jo's mouth again and Jo closed the distance till they were almost kissing once more. "Respond...to each other..."
Jo's answering "mhmm" mingled into another deep, melting kiss and they both forgot all thought for a few more minutes as the sensuality washed over them. This time was less urgent, but no less pleasurable. When Jo's hand gently cupped Cadie's breast through the soft fabric of the t-shirt, it sparked the blonde into an arching stretch that gave the tall skipper goose bumps. The intensity of it took them both by surprise and once again they found themselves blinking at each other breathlessly.
"Wow," Jo said quietly, shivering.
"Oh yeah," Cadie agreed. Impulsively she pulled Jo close again, wrapping her arms around her and hugging tight, burying her face against the tall woman's shoulder and neck. She suddenly felt tears close, overwhelmed by what she was feeling and what the consequences might be for them both. For all three of us, she reminded herself. Jo sensed the tears and held her close, making soft, comforting noises until they subsided, content to let Cadie tell her what was happening in her head when she was ready.
Finally the blonde loosened her hold somewhat and Jo let her lie back on the couch, reaching out and gently wiping away a tear with her fingertip.
"Sorry," sniffled Cadie. "I don't usually do that as a response to being..." She laughed weakly. "So... incredibly... turned on." Jo smiled broadly. "Although, when I think about it, I'm not sure that's true," Cadie corrected.
"What do you mean?" Jo asked, puzzled.
"I mean, Jossandra Madison, that I don't think I have ever in my life felt like this. So I don't really know if this is how I'd usually react." She smiled softly at the confused look on Jo's face.
"It doesn't feel like this with..." Jo jerked her thumb over her shoulder, roughly in the direction of the Seawolf, lying at anchor off Whitsunday Island.
Cadie shook her head and had to laugh at the slight widening of Jo's eyes. "Never. Not ever." She reached up and cupped Jo's face with her left hand. "You and I, my love, are in a lot of trouble." She tried to make light of it, but Jo caught the flash of fear and uncertainty that crossed her face.
"You're scared?" Jo asked softly, afraid of the answer. Cadie nodded distractedly and Jo pulled away. "Of me," she said with certainty and a sinking heart. She sat up quickly, swinging her feet down to the floor and resting her head in her hands dejectedly. "I can understand that. I mean, you saw me at my worst today. I'm a killer and it doesn't matter how many years go by, that's what I'll always be."
Damn, Cadie thought as she felt doors slamming closed. Gotta be more careful. She's so quick to condemn herself.
Quickly she sat up and slid in behind the tall woman, wrapping her arms around Jo's waist to hold her firmly between Cadie's legs. "No," she said definitely, gently shaking Jo for emphasis. "Understand this, Jo." She waited for the skipper to turn her head slightly towards her. "I have never felt safer than when I'm with you. And that included this afternoon when you had Marco where I know you wanted him." She smiled gently, seeing the slight upturn of Jo's mouth. "It's not you I'm afraid of, Jossandra. And no matter what you've done, or will do in the future, it's not possible for me to be afraid of you."
She leaned back into the couch, pulling Jo with her until they were sprawled together, Jo's feet back up on the coffee table and her head tucked under the blonde's chin, against her right shoulder. Their hands were clasped together across Jo's belly.
This probably doesn't look it, but it's so comfortable, Cadie thought, contentedly, certain she'd soothed Jo's fears, at least for the time being. I want her to feel as safe with me as I do with her.
Jo relaxed, loving the warm rush as Cadie enfolded her. "So what is it that you're afraid of?" she asked softly.
There was a pause as Cadie reached for the right words. "Change," she finally answered. "To borrow a line from an old movie, you and I changed our direction tonight, and it's going to have a ripple effect."
"You mean you and Naomi."
"Yes, but not just that."
"But after that conversation we overheard, you weren't planning on staying with Naomi regardless of what might happen with us. Were you?" Jo asked uncertainly, a cold trickle of fear working its way through her guts.
"No. But Jo—and this is something else you're going to have to understand about me—I am going to leave her, but I have to do it the right way." She looked down at Jo, who suddenly felt restless in her arms. "I want to be with you, Jo. But it will be better for both of us if I make sure I come to you with all loose ends tied."
"Okay," Jo said, nodding slowly. "So, what's the right way?"
Cadie sighed, resting her cheek on the top of Jo's head. "Right now Naomi thinks she's just going to dump me at her convenience." She pushed down the rising anger she felt just remembering that damn conversation, and Jo's thumb brushed reassuringly across the back of her hand. "Well, I'm not going to let that happen, becaus
e I'm going to leave her the moment we get back to Chicago. But I need her to understand why I'm leaving her. That it's about her and me, and not about meeting you. If you'd turned out to be a hairy man with a wooden leg and bad breath, I'd still be leaving Naomi."
Jo chuckled. "Damn. You've discovered my real dark and mysterious past," she said quietly.
Cadie laughed out loud, hugging Jo close as they both shook from the belly laughs.
"I understand what you're saying," Jo said when they'd both recovered. "You don't want to give her any excuse to duck responsibility for what's happened to your relationship."
"Exactly."
"You don't think maybe it's a little late for that? I mean, she's been thinking the worst of me from the moment she met me. You're going to have a hard time convincing her that this isn't all about you and me."
"I know," Cadie sighed. "But I have to try." She hesitated a little before going on, not sure how Jo would react to what she had to say next. "Honey, there is something else that concerns me." Jo looked up at her questioningly. Cadie took n deep breath.
"I've never lived alone." She felt the tall woman go very still in her arms. "I went straight from my parents' home to college and then I was with Naomi. I think..." She hesitated again. "I think I might need some time to myself."
Jo's heart sank, but she had known that being with Cadie was never a fait accompli. There were just so many complications. She swallowed. "Cadie. I never expected us to have even this," she gestured generally. "Anything you can give me..." She swallowed, suddenly choked up. "I'll take any time I can get with you, and call myself lucky to have known you."
Cadie squeezed Jo tight, fighting tears of her own. "I want to be with you Jo," she said fiercely. "I do. I just have so much I need to get cleared up first. Some time to get my ducks in a row, if you like."
Jo nodded. "I understand," she said softly. She disengaged herself slowly and stood up, picking up the dinner plates and wineglasses as she did so. She wandered over to the kitchen and placed the dirty dishes in the sink before walking back to the stereo system and selecting another CD.
Cadie watched all this silently, wondering what was going on behind the cool, blue eyes. I've hurt her, and that was the last thing I wanted, she thought sadly.
Jo's mind was going in 15 different directions, but the one thing she was sure of was that she wanted to make the most of this evening. She keyed the stereo and the funky, mellow rhythms wafted out. She walked back to Cadie who was looking up at her with uncertain eyes. She smiled and held out a hand.
"Dance with me?" she asked softly. Cadie beamed back at her and took her hand. Jo pulled her gently into her arms, and she snuggled in, fitting herself to the tall skipper's contours as they swayed together to the music. Several minutes passed in companionable silence as they let the music flow through them, directing their movements. Jo rested her cheek against Cadie's head and she could feel the blonde's warm breath on her neck.
"Which old movie?" Jo asked suddenly.
Cadie looked up at her quizzically.
"You said you borrowed a line from an old movie," Jo reminded her.
"Oh." Cadie laughed quietly and burrowed back into Jo's embrace. "An Affair to Remember."
"Hmmm. Don't think I've ever seen it."
"Mmm. Deborah Kerr. Cary Grant. They fall in love on a cruise. It's very romantic." Cadie felt Jo squeezing her gently, as they fell back into comfortable silence. "Jo?"
"Mmm?"
"Are you angry with me? For starting something I can't finish yet?"
"No," she answered simply. "For a start, you beat me to it by about two seconds." She felt Cadie laughing. "And for another, I think it's been inevitable for about a week, don't you?"
"How do you explain it?" Cadie wondered. "I've never felt this before. Not even in the earliest days of my relationship with Naomi."
Jo considered her response for a few moments. "Do you believe in soulmates?" she finally asked.
Cadie looked up at her. "You mean, two souls going through time, meeting each other again and again? That kind of thing?"
"Mhmm."
"I never really thought about it before," she said honestly. "You think that's what's going on with us?"
Jo shrugged slightly as they danced. "Well, think about it. When was the first time you felt like you knew me?" She looked down into curious green eyes.
"That's easy," Cadie replied quickly. "I saw you from my hotel balcony when you pulled the Seawolf into the Hamilton Island marina. I can remember thinking how I felt like I'd seen you before somewhere." She grinned up at Jo, whose eyes had widened perceptibly.
"That was you, wasn't it?" she asked wonderingly. "Wow."
Cadie nodded. "So maybe your theory is right," she muttered, snuggling back into Jo's arms, squeezing her softly. "This certainly feels right."
"Yes it does," Jo murmured, kissing the top of Cadie's head. She started to quietly sing, following along with the music they were dancing to.
"Mmm," purred Cadie. "You are so good at that."
Jo smiled. "I only do it when I'm inspired," she said, lifting Cadie's chin and ducking her head to meet soft, willing lips. She felt the blonde's hand slide to the back of her neck and into her hair, pulling her closer. Jo moaned softly into the kiss and Cadie met the sound with one of her own, their bodies surging together as the passion intensified once more.
"Oh God, Jo, I want you so much," Cadie gasped when they broke off again. Jo's hands slid down to her backside and lifted her up. Quickly she wrapped her legs around the tall woman's waist and found herself, for once, at eye level. It was an intriguing perspective.
"And I want to make love with you all night." Jo throw the CD and kissed the blonde again, deep and soft and open. Cadie melted against her. "Instead, I'll make do with the next five minutes," she muttered as she started to walk them both into the second bedroom. Cadie groaned, recognizing Jo's willpower was the only thing stopping her from breaking her own promise to herself.
They kissed hungrily as Jo backed up against the bed and sat down slowly, giving Cadie a chance to unwind her legs before she leaned back onto the mattress. The blonde straddled Jo's hips, her hands on either side of her head. She gazed down.
"You are so beautiful," Cadie murmured, tracing Jo's collarbone with her lips. The tall woman's hands on the blonde's hips pulled her closer and both women groaned at the contact. "You are so beautiful and from the moment I saw this robe, I've been wanting to peel it off you." Her fingers trailed down the edge of the robe, teasing the skin below.
"Almost as much as I want to pull that t-shirt off you," Jo replied, even as she used her greater strength and body weight to flip them over, pinning Cadie. They grinned at each other breathlessly. "And you too, are beautiful, Arcadia," she said softly, leaning down and kissing the hollow at the base of the blonde's neck. She lingered, brushing her lips against the soft skin. "And I cannot wait for the day... or night... when I can undress, and tease, and excite you." She interspersed each phrase with a kiss up Cadie's neck, until finally she reached her mouth, parting her lips tenderly with her own, beginning a long, deep exploration.
Cadie moaned softly, arching under Jo, aching to be touched.
"Two out of three isn't bad, Skipper," she muttered when the kiss finally ended, and she felt Jo's smile against her neck. "I'm sorry, Jo," she said quietly.
The skipper pushed up on her elbows and looked down at Cadie.
"Don't apologize for any of this, sweetheart," she said gently. "There are two of us here and, if you hadn't noticed, I seem to be a more than willing participant." She kissed the blonde once more and then reluctantly disentangled herself. "But right now, I'm going to leave you here, before we both explode."
They spent a few more seconds gazing at each other with open desire, and then sighed in unison. Jo growled in frustration as she stood up, provoking a giggle from her supine companion.
"Sleep well, gorgeous," Jo said as she walked out of the room.
&n
bsp; "Aye aye, Captain," Cadie replied cheekily, saluting the retreating woman.
"Oh, shut up," came the response.
Cadie laughed quietly and lay back on the bed, hands behind her head. Her body was still tingling with desire and she just absorbed the feelings for a few minutes, listening to Jo moving around in the living area before going into her own bedroom.
What a day, she thought as she slid the shorts down over her hips and off, tossing them on to the chair in the corner. She's a complicated woman and I... She gasped, suddenly realizing what she was thinking. Cadie crawled under the top sheet and curled up on her side.
Jo slid out of the robe, dropping it on the foot of the bed. She stretched wearily, feeling every ache in her muscles and joints, as well as the more pleasant ache of lust. She smiled softly and walked to the dresser, pulling out another old t-shirt and slipping it over her head. Seconds later she was curled up in bed, gazing out at the moonlit ocean and wondering at the strangeness of the day.
I should be exhausted, she pondered. But I feel like something new has begun. And Cadie... God, she makes me feel so good. She grinned at the moonlight. I don't care how long I have to wait for her. She's worth it. Jo closed her eyes, letting the pleasant tingling echoes of Cadie's touch ripple across her skin.
"Jo?" Cadie called out.
"Yes?"
"Goodnight." I love you, Jo.
Jo smiled again. I love you, Cadie. '"Night."
Cadie wasn't sure what woke her but she suspected the big, black cat sitting next to her might have had something to do with it. The wind had picked up again, and occasional flashes of lightning through her bedroom window suggested another storm had rolled in. She reached out and scratched under the feline's chin.
"Hello, Mephisto," she whispered. "Did the thunder scare you, boy?"
A soft meow answered her and the cat jumped down from the bed and headed for the door. He stopped once to look over his shoulder and meowed at her again.
Heart's Passage Page 21