by HELEN HARDT
“I’m sure you do, he being your soul mate and all.” I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes.
“I wish I could make you understand what your father and I mean to each other,” she said.
“I’ve asked you many times, Mother. Please. Help me understand.”
“I don’t think anyone can understand what it means to be a soul mate unless he or she has experienced that type of connection himself. Tell me, Ryan. Is that the type of connection you have with your police detective?”
No way in hell was I discussing my relationship with Ruby with this woman. “We haven’t been together long enough to know yet, Mother. Why don’t you tell me what kind of relationship you and my father have?”
She closed her eyes and smiled dreamily. Eerily dreamily. “It was a connection on all levels. Physical. Mental. Emotional. Spiritual. Even transcendental.”
“Transcendental? Are you telling me that you and my father existed on some alternate plane in the universe?”
She opened her eyes. “Sometimes it felt that way. Yes.”
Again, I had to keep from rolling my eyes.
“All right. What exactly do you mean by that?”
“That it was meaningful. We hungered for each other in a physical way. But it was so much more than that. We coveted each other.”
I had to stop myself from wanting to vomit. Thinking of my father and this woman together, knowing what I knew about her, made me want to be violently ill. And the fact that their union resulted in me…
I swallowed. “Why didn’t you get together then?”
“I moved away with my family after my sophomore year in high school. Even though we were separated, we wrote to each other, saw each other when we could. There was always a heat between us. An ache for each other. We couldn’t be in the same room together without ripping each other’s clothes off.”
That was a lie. Growing up, I had seen Wendy and my father together. She had come around occasionally. She’d even come around after my father had allegedly died. She was the one who had helped us keep Talon’s heroics overseas out of the mainstream media.
I said only, “Okay.”
“We had a love like ones you only read about. Like Romeo and Juliet.”
“Romeo and Juliet both ended up committing suicide,” I said.
“Still, we were like that. Star-crossed lovers.”
“Why did my father marry Daphne then? If he was in love with you, why didn’t he just pay her child support and not marry her?”
“Because Bradford Steel is a man of honor. He lived up to his responsibilities.”
A man of honor? I’d once thought so. No longer. “Did you ask him to stay with you?”
“I didn’t have to. I knew him well enough to know that he would do what he had to do. We were both seeing other people at that time.” She shook her head, rolling her eyes. “Daphne was never Brad’s type.”
“They always seemed happy enough to me.”
“How can you say that? You were only nine when she died. What could a nine-year-old possibly know about love and happiness?”
Enough was enough. “I know more about love and happiness than you possibly could, Mother.”
“Do you expect me to get upset? How could I? I only wanted a life of love and happiness for you, my darling son. I wanted only the best for you. Your father was the best.”
“Was it truly love you felt for my father?” I asked. “Or was it obsession?”
She smiled, the eerie smile I had come to know. “My dear, is there really any difference? What is love, anyway? What is obsession?”
I sighed, raking my fingers through my hair. “Please, Mother. Please help me find my father.”
“Why is that so important to you?”
“How can you ask me that? Because he’s my father, for God’s sake. Because he owes me a goddamned explanation for what has become my life.”
“Ryan,” she said seriously. “Please be careful what you wish for. I adore your father. He is everything to me. But he’s brought a lot of pain into my life as well. He married someone else. I had to give up my son for him. That’s the kind of deep connection your father and I have. I did whatever he asked. All because of the love I felt for him. The obsessive, coveting love.” She closed her eyes and sighed. “Sometimes the things we covet are the things that destroy us.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Ruby
“Detective Lee.”
“Ruby, it’s Mark.”
“Hey.”
“I need you to stay late tonight. Some information has come in, and I need you to take a look.”
Crap. I’d been looking forward to dinner with Ryan. He’d promised me an elegant meal at the best restaurant in the city. “Sure. Just let me make a call.”
I texted Ryan that I’d be working late at my boss’s request and that I was sorry I couldn’t make our dinner date. Then I walked to Mark’s office, which was at the end of the hallway, somewhat isolated.
The door was closed, which was odd. Mark had a notorious open-door policy. Should I knock or walk in? To be on the safe side, I knocked.
“Come in,” he called, his voice a bit…off.
I cocked my head and turned the doorknob. Something niggled at the back of my neck. But this was Mark, who I trusted. Not only was he a great cop, he was a friend. I opened the door.
And I gasped, my heart racing.
A masked man was holding a Glock to Mark’s temple.
“I’m sorry, Ruby,” Mark said, his voice shaking now.
“Some cop you are,” the man said, his voice muffled. “I walked right in here.”
Mark wouldn’t have fallen for a ruse unless it was exceedingly well thought out. I had yet to meet someone who could deceive my boss.
And then I knew. Nausea climbed up my throat. How the hell had he gotten in here with a weapon? He’d had help. Inside help. Was there no one my father couldn’t get to?
“Put the gun down, Theo.”
He looked at me with intensely odd blue eyes. The colored contacts Jonah and Melanie had talked about. His face was covered in a black mask, his eyes distorted, and he’d tried to disguise his voice, but I would know him anywhere.
“Here’s what’s going to happen,” my father said. “You’re going to call off the Steel brothers, and you’re going to stop trailing me. Got it? Otherwise, your boss here meets his maker.”
“Don’t listen to him, Ruby,” Mark said. “He’s bluffing.”
My father pushed the gun farther into Mark’s temple, wrinkling the skin. “I don’t bluff.”
No, my father didn’t bluff.
“Let him go,” I said.
“Not until you do as I say.”
“How stupid are you?” Mark asked, his voice never wavering. The man had nerves of steel. “You walk right into the police station and make demands? How the hell did you get past security? Past the blues on duty? You’ll never get out of here alive.”
“You’ll die before I do,” my father said.
“You need money, don’t you?” I said. “I don’t have any, but I can get some.”
“From your Steel boyfriend?”
“What does it matter, as long as I get it?”
“The only money I want is from his father.”
I raised one eyebrow. “Then tell me where his father is.”
“He’s dead.”
“That’s an old song, Dad. We know he’s alive. We know he faked his own death. What we don’t know is why.”
“I don’t know any more than you do.”
“You’re lying. And now you’re going broke, aren’t you? How much did it cost you to pay off Mills and Johnson? To get them off the Steels’ case?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Ruby,” Mark said, his voice still calm. “I can handle this.”
My gun was in my shoulder holster. I was fast, but I wouldn’t be fast enough. By the time I could get to my weapon and take down my father
, Mark would have a bullet in his brain.
Oddly, I didn’t fear for my own life. So many years had passed, and my father hadn’t taken me out. He could have, but he hadn’t. I had every confidence that I wasn’t about to lose my life.
I wasn’t very confident about Mark’s life, though. I had to get him out of here.
This was all surreal. Mark was an outstanding detective and a renowned martial artist as well. How could my father have gotten the best of him?
Unless…
Mark didn’t seem frightened at all. Even the best cop in the world freaked out with a gun at his head.
Mark couldn’t possibly be in league with my father. Could he?
I didn’t have time for this. I had to believe in Mark’s integrity. I’d get him out of this mess, even if it meant sacrificing the chance to bring down my father.
“Let him go, Dad,” I said. “I’ll get you money, if that’s what you need. I’ll convince Ryan to let this go. I’ll do whatever it takes. Mark is a good cop, and he’s innocent here.”
“No one in the world is innocent.”
I couldn’t help myself. “Certainly not you. Tell me, what turned you into such a sick bastard?”
My father faltered for a millisecond, and in a flash, Mark executed a perfect knife hand and dislodged my father’s sidearm.
But a shot rang out, and Mark went down.
By the time I was armed, my father had run out of the room.
“Go after him,” Mark said breathlessly. “I’m okay. You can get him. Take him down.”
He was bleeding profusely from his side. He was far from okay.
If I left now, I could get Mathias. Bring the bastard down. Someone had most likely heard the gunshot. Help would come…
But maybe not in time.
I had to stop my feet from taking off after my father. He wasn’t worth Mark’s life. I applied pressure to try to slow down the bleeding and then tore at Mark’s shirt for a makeshift bandage.
“Hang in there, boss. You’re going to be okay.”
“I’m so sorry, Ruby. He… He threatened my wife. I didn’t know what to do. Have to call…” His eyes closed, and he lost consciousness.
Blues swarmed in within seconds, and I called the paramedics. Mark was barely breathing when they arrived minutes later. They bagged him with oxygen and got him on a stretcher. I stayed to answer questions from the cops who’d burst in.
When the officers were satisfied they had all they needed, I stared down at my hands coated in Mark’s blood, shivering. Thoughts jumbled in my head, my mind shifting from one bloody image to another. His wife. I had to call his wife, Yvonne. I grabbed my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed Mark’s home number.
One ring.
Two.
Three.
And then a breathless, “Hello?”
“Yvonne? It’s Ruby Lee from the station.”
“Ruby, hi.”
On the force for eleven years, and I still hadn’t gotten used to giving out bad news. My stomach dropped. “You need to get to the ER. Mark’s been shot.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Ryan
“You’re saying your love for my father destroyed you?”
“In some ways.”
“Then why would you keep pursuing him? Were you some kind of glutton for punishment?”
A plastic smile formed on her face. “Nothing about your father was ever punishing. Except in the bedroom.”
I really wasn’t up for hearing about my father’s bedroom antics with this woman. Really, there were some things I didn’t need to know. But if it would shed some light…
I had to force the words out. “What do you mean by that?”
“He liked bondage, your father. And so did I.”
Big TMI. “Is that so?”
“Yes. He loved to tie me up. Didn’t like being tied up himself, though.”
I cleared my throat. “Oh?”
“No. Not at all. These last several years have been hell for him.”
What? I stood. “You have my father tied up somewhere? As a prisoner? You vicious bitch!”
Back to her plastic smile. “Ryan, is that any way to talk to your mother?”
I looked to the orderlies. “We’re done here. This bitch should be in chains somewhere. I won’t be back.”
I walked out as my phone buzzed. Two texts from Ruby, the first one telling me she wouldn’t be able to make dinner tonight. The second one had just come in.
I’m at Valleycrest ER. My boss has been shot. We need to talk.
* * *
“It crossed my mind at first,” Ruby said, after explaining what had happened, “that somehow Mark was in cahoots with my father. Then I took the thought out of my head. I’ve known him for three years. He’s a good cop. I wanted to respect his integrity.”
“You might not have been wrong,” I said. “If he’s as good a martial artist as you say he is, he should have been able to disarm your father. And how did Mathias get into the station with a gun, for God’s sake?”
She shook her head. “I can’t go there. I can’t play the ‘what if’ game and figure out every scenario. My boss was shot, and it’s all my fault.”
“Christ, Ruby, haven’t we had this talk? How the hell is this your fault?”
Ruby stood, pulling at a few locks of hair that had come loose from her ponytail. “Because he’s my fucking father! When will this all end, Ryan?”
Wouldn’t I like to know? I had no answer to that question, so I said only, “You know it’s not your fault.”
“He was there. Right within my reach, but I let him go to save my boss, who might have been in on the whole thing. I made the wrong decision.”
“You did what you thought was right. No one can fault that.”
“But if I let him go to save a man that might be in on it with him?”
“So you believed in your boss. You’ve known him a while. He’s always been a good cop, hasn’t he?”
“As far as I know. Not a spot on his record. But obviously that doesn’t mean shit.”
“You’re not clairvoyant, Ruby.”
“I should be. When it comes to Theodore Mathias, I should be a fucking mind reader after all this time.” She sat back down. “Damn! I should have gone with my first instinct. I had the feeling I was being played, that Mark was somehow in on it. Why didn’t I go with that? I’ve always trusted my intuition before.”
“Is his wife here?” I asked.
She nodded. “She’s with some family over there.” She gestured to a woman flanked by several others in the corner of the large waiting area.
“What’s the prognosis?”
“I haven’t heard anything yet. He’d better fucking live, though. I have a lot of questions for the bastard.”
“You don’t know—”
“Oh, yes, I do,” she said. “That’s the very last time I ignore my intuition. The very fucking last time. How could I have been so stupid?”
I rubbed her forearm. “Don’t blame yourself.”
“Easy for you to say.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but shut it before the words came out. She didn’t need to hear all about my visit with my mother. At least not yet.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “That wasn’t fair.”
No, it wasn’t. But again, I didn’t say it.
A doctor in blue scrubs entered the area and walked straight to Ruby’s boss’s wife. A few words were exchanged, and then the woman let out a heavy sob.
“Looks like he didn’t make it. Well, that’s what getting involved with my father gets you.” A tear slid down Ruby’s cheek, and she wiped it away angrily. “He doesn’t deserve any tears. No one involved with my father does.”
I took her hand and pulled her back down beside me. “You still don’t know exactly what happened.”
“And now that he’s gone, I never will.” She sighed. “I suppose I should say something to his wife.”
“No, you don’t have t
o. That can wait. She has her family with her. She’ll be okay. You and I need to get out of here.”
“And go where?”
“What about our dinner?”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “I couldn’t eat.”
“All right. To the hotel then.”
She attempted a smile. “I’m really not in the mood, Ryan.”
I smiled and took her hand. “You leave that to me.”
* * *
I handed Ruby the glass of wine I’d poured for her from the bottle of Steel Merlot that I picked up at the hotel bar.
She took a deep gulp and sighed. “Good,” she said.
“I’m sorry about all you’ve been through,” I said.
“Tonight? Or my whole life?” She took another sip of wine.
“Both. You’ve seen more than a person should have to.”
“So have you. And I’m sorry, too.”
I brushed my lips across hers, just that small contact igniting my groin. “You want to talk?”
She sighed again. “About what? What else is there to talk about? It is what it is.” She smiled. “You know what? I want to fuck.”
I widened my eyes. I couldn’t believe those words had come from this woman who mere weeks ago had been a virgin, and who mere minutes ago had said she wasn’t in the mood.
“You can’t escape by fucking,” I said. “God knows I’ve tried, as you know.”
“True. But what’s wrong with wanting to feel good, if only for a little while?”
I smiled. “Absolutely nothing.” I took her glass from her and set it on the table. I looked at her. She looked exhausted, her hair falling out of her high ponytail, her eyes heavy lidded. She wore her regular work uniform of Dockers and a button-down. We still had to work on her wardrobe…
But right now, I wanted only to offer her comfort. And, to be honest, I wanted some comfort in return.
The talk with my mother had left me strangled. I’d been angry at her, calling her a vicious bitch. It was no less than she deserved. Was my father truly being held captive somewhere? I knew better than to take anything my mother said at face value. I’d left angry, saying I wouldn’t be back.