"Now Nick . . .?"
"I'm only thinking of what's best for our baby. You can't deny me that, Kel."
The way he said, "Kel," made her shiver. It sounded so intimate. But he was still trying to distract her. "Nick, I think this has gone on long enough."
"Kelsey, indulge me a little longer, will ya. I don't want to worry about the kid. I want to know you can handle this. And I'm not leaving you in the lurches. You can't ask me to do that. If it's alright with you, I want to be there, when it's born."
"Nick . . ." she gasped, and he covered her lips with a kiss that smothered her protest and enlightened her heart. Hungry for his touch, she let him sweep her away. Opening her mouth to his and reveling in his conquest. His hands felt hot, and all over her. She groaned. How could she fight what she so wanted?
But all too soon he let her go. His eyes searched hers.
"You're quite a woman, Kelsey. And you're not going to like this either, but I think we should get married."
CHAPTER TEN
"What?" Kelsey's voice caught in her throat. Had he actually proposed to her?
"I said, I think we should get married. You know, do it right. Let's face it Kelsey, you need me, the baby needs me. We haven't made much progress this way. And I'm afraid you are going to be a nervous wreck by the time the baby gets here."
"No, it won't work, Nick. You don't marry someone just because they can't diaper a baby—"
"That too, yes. But I've given this a lot of thought, Kel. You'd love the baby I'm sure of that, you'd care for it to the best of your ability. But I'm not sure you'll be ready in time. And I certainly don't want to have to hire a nanny." He scolded. "No, you need help. And this isn't something you are going to learn in a day or two. Besides, I'd kinda like to give the baby my name. I know how stuck on O'Sullivan you were, but it has your blood, and that's the important thing. And if we got married we could explain the circumstances a lot easier. We could say we just didn't get along, and had to divorce, or something. If it comes to that."
If it comes to that? Of course it would come to that; Nick was in love with the baby. In love with being a family, but he didn't love her.
"Now look, Nick," Kelsey's face turned red, her temper festering. How had this caring man, suddenly turned into some nut with a marriage license. "I've been pretty nice about this, so far, but I think this has gone on long enough. Just because I can't put a diaper on straight doesn't mean—"
"No, it doesn't mean you'll be a bad mother. I agree. But it does mean you're going to need help. Let's face it, Kel; you've done nothing to lighten the work load at the office since I've been coming over. You haven't got the hang of diapering or burping and you are a nervous wreck around the doll. What would you be like around our baby? Face it Kel, the baby needs both of us. I've already taken the liberty of speaking with your parents, by phone, and they are in complete agreement with me, about this. Your father especially. Your mother wants a beautiful Catholic wedding. Naturally, because you've been married, we'll have to speak to the priest about it. I doubt we'll have any trouble; you and Ralph weren't married in the church. But, I agreed to that, you are the bride. We'll be married in two weeks."
Then he started to leave. Without another word, as though the entire conversation was closed. But she knew what he was doing.
"Now wait just a minute," Kelsey began, and then stopped as though someone had hit her in the stomach. Her face paled a little, and then she smiled slowly.
It was almost as if the child was having her say too.
"What's wrong, the baby?" He surmised quickly as he turned to see her face. Instantly his face mirrored his concern.
"I-I think it just kicked me. I can't be sure, but I think it did. You know the first kick is like butterfly wings stirring in your stomach. I remember that much."
"Oh God, let me feel," Nick came closer, put his hand on her jumper, and waited. His eyes were full of delight at the prospect of actually feeling his child growing inside her, and for a moment, Kelsey forgot her anger and enjoyed the feel of his hand on her tummy. It was one of their first shared moments as parents, and nothing could replace its magic. Not even the fact that he wouldn't be able to feel the gentle kicking yet.
Still, she couldn't let sentiment rule the moment. He wanted her to agree to a marriage, but what kind of marriage would they have? And how could she contemplate marrying anyone under these circumstances? She'd faced a loveless marriage before. She couldn't endure another one, especially with Nick, the man she loved.
She was about to explode at him when another butterfly feeling zapped across her tummy and he nodded, "I felt it Kel, I felt it. Not much, but like a little electrical buzz. She's healthy, I'd bet on that. She's kicking early. You're barely four months. That's a good sign she's healthy. She'll probably pack a punch. What a miracle we've created, Kel."
His finger dotted her nose, his eyes sparkled into hers, and they both seized the moment. Their lips met in a passionate storm. Exquisite pleasure melted all of Kelsey's better judgment. She made a little guttural sound in her throat as she opened her mouth to his. Nick's kisses felt as though he'd saved them for an eternity, just for her.
"Ah Kel," he groaned as he lifted her loose blouse and his hands searched for the round fullness of her breast. Kelsey squirmed and moaned all at once, not expecting this, but loving it just the same.
"Don't leave me like this, Nick," Kelsey panted as she barely pulled away from him enough to speak. Could he possibly know what those precious hands of his were doing to her? Did he know she was like a walking time bomb, waiting for his touches?
"You've caught me in a weak moment, I can't. But the baby—I mean, will it be okay? I don't want to hurt you Kel. I don't ever want to hurt you."
"I'm not far enough along to worry," she gasped as her own hands pulled at his shirt eagerly. He stopped, and clasped her hands in his, kissing them slowly then sending her a burning smile, he lifted her to carry her to her bedroom.
As he kicked the door open and closed behind them he laid her upon her bed and smiled down into her love kissed face, "I never knew pregnant women could be so adorably sexy."
"You're too far away," she purred, and pulled him down against her.
In a hot frenzy they disposed of the clothes between them as he continued his love-chants against her warm moist body.
Nick was the best lover she'd ever had and even though she knew it would never work between them, she was helpless in his arms.
She'd never been on fire for a man in her life, but Nick seemed to know all the right buttons to push. Lovemaking had never been this sweet, this fulfilling. She melted into Nick as he came down beside her on the bed.
Her lips sought his, her body fitted against him like a light bulb finding a socket. She wanted and needed to love this man without regard for consequence. Just once she would love for the sheer joy of it, she vowed silently.
His hands were incredibly gentle as they wove a spell over her body, making her respond to his every whim. His eyes roved over her in the silent of the night, stealing her heart and soul and he buried himself into her once more and they became one. The incredible joy Kelsey felt surrounded her and Nick continued long afterwards massaging her, and kissing her.
"Oh Nick," she gasp, and her hands clamped about him with a heated calm. Words of love throttled through her body and mind as he took her to the heaven only he could build for her. Her tongue ached to cry them aloud.
He looked down at her and her small high breast puckered. He groaned and bent to cover them each with long languid strokes of his tongue. Her body stretched lazily at first against him, and then thrust to meet him, as he entered her over and over again. She felt she was falling into a mindless void where happiness dwelled continuously.
"Oh Kel, I can't wait any longer, babe. I've got to take you. You're so beautiful, so much woman."
"Yes, now," she pleaded and met him at the peak. Like a miracle of beautiful colored showers, the reaching the top was so st
irring she could do nothing but moan her own pleasure and grip him so he could never go away.
Collapsing in unison moments later, they both laughed breathlessly, and kissed each other joyously.
Kelsey smiled as he cradled her against him, his hand resting gently about her ribs. Sighing contentedly she relaxed. Unlike the negative feelings Ralph had always inspired with his one sided love affair, Kelsey saw for the first time what being loved meant. And the satisfied smile on Nick's lips left her in no doubt that she had put it there.
Minutes later, they fell asleep, curled into each other's arms. Sometime in the night she reached for him, but he was gone.
Gone! He had left her after such an incredible night? How could he? How could he walk away from all she offered him without a word? He wanted to marry her and still hadn't said a word about loving her.
Her confidence lagged.
Still the euphoria surrounded her and reminded her that they did have something special between them.
The next day Kelsey was excited, elated, and downhearted all at the same time. How could she possibly marry Nick? Yes, his lovemaking was everything she'd ever hoped for, but he didn't love her, if he did he would have surely said something last night. He didn't. She knew from her first marriage that love was the most important ingredient in a relationship. And the lack of it would crush a marriage. She couldn't condemn herself to the same loneliness again. Even with a baby.
Still, when her mother called that evening, she found herself caught up in the talk about a wedding dress, and flowers and bridesmaids. Just the prospect of getting married seemed like a fantasy every woman dreamed of. When she and Ralph were married at the courthouse, it broke her mother's heart, but he wasn't Catholic.
She'd have a talk with Nick on Saturday, she promised herself as she continued to let her mother go on and on about arrangements. She'd never heard such excitement in her mother's voice before, and their relationship had improved with Nick's help.
Things looked different the next day at the office when she told Jackson. She had time to sleep on it, and realize her foolishness.
"Naturally, it'll never work. I can't marry him, Jackson."
"You don't love him?" Jackson eyed her closely.
"Of course I love him. Who doesn't? I mean—oh, Jackson, I don't know what I mean, or feel these days. Everything is in such a state of confusion. Nick has practically taken over the chore of thinking for me. I've never been so dependent in my life, and I don't like the feeling. And yet he's done more for my confidence than I could imagine. He's restored my faith in myself. But, I'm scared."
"I've never heard you sound so despondent. What are you afraid of? You have the baby you always wanted, and a man to go with it. A good man I might add."
"All women fantasize about weddings, Jackson. It's romantic. But, Nick doesn't love me, that's why it won't work. Nick's in love with the prospect of being a father. Right now, he's living in some kind of dream world, but believe me; he's going to snap out of it. And then it will be just like Ralph."
"How do you know? Nick isn't Ralph. He's ten times the man Ralph was. He'd never let you hurt or see you lonely."
"No, he's too much of a gentleman. He'd try, but I won't do that to him, or myself. He simply thinks I can't handle being a mother, alone. I think Nick is suffering from a bad case of too much responsibility."
"He's certainly had his share. But, when he talks about you, his eyes light up, and the way he looks at you. Are you sure how he feels?"
Kelsey sighed, "He loves the thought of having a baby. He's an incurable romantic. Yet, he hasn't said one word about love. What should I do Jackson? I don't want to hurt him. But I've got to get him to listen to reason. Oh Jackson, what am I going to do?"
"You've got the contract, it'll hold up in court, if that's necessary. But Kelsey, maybe you should marry him."
"Jackson! How can you say that?"
"Because he's good for you. He brings out the best in you. I like him. And so does your mother. And look at yourself. You aren't the same insecure little girl you were when you were married to Ralph. Besides, he and your mother have started all the plans. I spoke with her on the phone before you arrived. She has everything arranged. I've never heard her talk like that before. She's doing this up big. Probably because it's the first time she's had the chance to. But for some reason, I think she likes Nick. We all like him. Which is something I hadn't expected? You know me Kelsey; I'm not an easy sell. But I have to admit that night we all shared a pizza in your apartment, watching that game show and just being ourselves. That's really living, Kelsey. That's what life is all about. And your mother…well….she's acting like a—"
"Like a what?"
"Like a grandmother, like a proud mother."
How many times had she wished for her mother to act that way? And she had Nick to thank for it.
"I've got to stop this. He's coming over this Saturday; I'll talk with him then."
"Are you sure you want to?" Jackson's brow shot up. "I hate to keep harping on it, but I think you should give this a long hard look before you stop anything. It could work out, if you work on it."
"That's the same thing I thought about Ralph. Work on it." She hung her head.
"Nick isn't Ralph. How can you begin to compare the two of them? Even I can see the difference. Ralph was a cold, unfeeling fish, and a weasel. The fact that he once hit you for making a mistake at a dinner party is enough for me to say that. Don't compare them Kelsey, it's not the same. Is it the money differences?"
Kelsey stared at Jackson for a moment,then shook her head, "Strangely, no. Money seems to be the least of our worries. I'm afraid to trust my feelings. I don't want another mistake. And I'd be involving another life in this one—the baby."
"My loyalty remains with you, you know that. However, I must tell you, Kelsey, I think not marrying Nick would be the mistake. Does he know you love him?"
Kelsey sat down quietly in her big leather chair, glanced up at Jackson and sighed, "No. I'm afraid to say anything like that to him."
"It may be all he's waiting to hear."
Kelsey's shoulders slumped, one tear escaped. "Isn't the man supposed to say it, first?"
"There are no hard and fast rules. Most of the time yes. There are no set rules on the subject though. But you are a rich woman, have you considered that aspect? I mean perhaps Nick feels as though he has nothing to offer you."
"Oh but that's not true. He has everything to offer. He's honest, kind, hard working. And he's a happy man, at least until I came along. I've never considered him anything but an equal."
"And I agree. He's the kind of man that finds a way to do things and get things done. He'd be an asset to this company, actually. But look at it from his point of view. You are a woman of power. Nick is an ordinary construction worker. What can he offer you but his love?"
"That would be enough, if he offered it."
"Perhaps he needs to know that."
"I can't see Nick letting social position stand in the way. He doesn't think in terms of social positions, he thinks in terms of people. And honestly, I believe Nick Leonetti is one of the richest men alive. And if you're right. If the time ever comes, I'll tell him. If it doesn't, I'll live with it."
Jackson frowned, took up the papers from her desk and walked towards the door. Adjusting the lapel of his jacket, he shook his head emphatically and added, "You're thinking of yourself, Kelsey. Not what's best for the baby? That man knows how to be a family."
Was he right? Was she giving in to her own selfish pride by wanting an admission of love from Nick? She had never realized when she fell in love with him, what it might entail. It just happened.
Yet two weeks passed in a haze and Kelsey still hadn't said anything to Nick. Kelsey tried working up the courage but she couldn't go through with it. He seemed to change the subject when she broached it.
Nick and her mother didn't have ears anymore. They went around agreeing or disagreeing and doing whatever they p
leased. They weren't listening to her. They were too busy making plans. Her father was completely unavailable to talk to. It seemed as though the whole world was ignoring her lately.
The priest came to visit. She was informed she had to take several classes in the church, and Nick had to attend.
Reluctantly, she had accompanied her mother to the bridal shops. She had tried on dress after dress until she found one that she fell in love with. The dress was layered in pearls and lace, with big puffy sleeves at the shoulders, and a full skirt with a long train, it was beautiful, and Kelsey fell in love with it. Four and a half months pregnant and she was barely showing, thank God.
She still waited to tell Nick.
The night before the wedding Nick came over with his mother. Kelsey was sure he merely wanted to reassure himself she would be at the church. But Nick kept quiet most of the evening.
Tina had given Kelsey a blue garter. When they were alone for a moment, she explained she had bought it on a whim, and was secretly dreaming of the day she could wear one. "But you needed something blue," she explained hugging her to her.
They laughed together, even though Kelsey didn't feel like laughing. How could she, she was about to break Nick's heart.
Mama Rosa insisted Kelsey wear her antique pearl necklace, handed down through the Leonetti family. It was perhaps the most precious piece of jewelry the woman owned and she was letting Kelsey borrow it. Kelsey felt hot tears sting her eyes. Such a warm gesture endeared his mother in her heart. Something borrowed something blue. Mama Rosa cried openly, and then laughed when she put it around her neck, and told her how glad she was to have another daughter. How could she tell this beautiful woman she couldn't marry her son?
The rehearsal had gone smoothly, Kelsey barely remembered saying "I do." It was just a dry run, she told herself.
They had spoken with the priest several times, and each time Kelsey tried to get a word in edgewise, Nick interrupted. They had taken the lessons together. Nick seemed happy to go to any length. They were prepared, the priest said happily.
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