Bald Guy moaned, wiped his nose with his wrist, and then flung open his door and ran like hell. Which didn’t make much sense, considering that in jail he could probably find someone to fulfill his request for free.
“He bolted!” I yelled to Harry. “Coming your way!”
I pushed open my door and scrambled after him. Three steps into my pursuit I broke a heel and almost fell onto my face. I recovered in time, but my speed was drastically reduced. A penguin on stilts would have been faster and looked less clumsy. I wasn’t about to kick my broken pump off—this wasn’t the nicest part of town, and I didn’t want to step on a dirty needle.
“He ducked down the alley, Jackie!” Harry said. “It lets out on Halsted. Run around and block his exit!”
Easy for him to say. He was wearing gym shoes.
I rounded the corner, hobbling as fast as I could, my spandex skirt riding up and encircling my waist like a neon pink belt. My purse orbited my neck on its spaghetti strap, and each time it passed in front of my face I reached for it and missed. Inside was my Beretta 86, and I didn’t want to be charging into any alleys without it firmly in hand.
Honking, from the street. I wondered if it was the squadrol—a police wagon that picked up and booked the suspects we caught on this sting. No such luck. It was a carload of cute preppy guys. They hooted at me, pumping their fists in the air.
“What’s that sound?” Harry said. “You watching Arsenio?”
I skidded to a halt at the mouth of the alley, tugged down my skirt, and pulled out my Beretta.
The hooting stopped. I heard one of the preppies yell, “The whore is packing heat!” and their tires squealed, their car rocketing away.
“Where is he?” I said into the mic.
“If he didn’t come out on your side, he’s hiding in the alley somewhere.”
“I’ll meet you in the middle.”
“It’s dark. Don’t shoot me by mistake.”
Harry didn’t mean it to be condescending, but he wouldn’t have said it if I were a man. I set my jaw, gripped my weapon in both hands with my elbows bent and the barrel pointing skyward, and crept into the alley.
The decaying garbage odor got worse with every step, so bad I could taste it in the back of my throat. I moved slowly, letting my eyes sweep left and right, looking for any place Bald Guy could hide. I came up to a parked car, checked under it, behind it.
“Jesus, the stink is making my eyes water.” Harry said. “It smells like some fat guys with BO ate bad cheese and took a group shit on a rotting corpse.”
Harry wore so much Brut aftershave I was surprised he could smell anything.
“You’re a poet, McGlade.”
“Why? Did I rhyme something?”
I stuck my head into a shadowy doorway, didn’t find Bald Guy, and went deeper into the alley.
Then I heard the scream.
It came from ahead of me. A man’s voice, with a hollow quality to it.
Something horrible was happening to Bald Guy.
My whole body became gooseflesh. I just joined Vice two weeks ago. Even though I was still a patrol officer, and made the same pay, I jumped at the chance to wear plainclothes and ditch the standard uniform. But plainclothes turned out to be hooker-wear, and I felt especially vulnerable without my dress blues on. It wasn’t easy being tough when you were wearing a micro-mini.
Another scream ripped through the alley. The little girl in me, the one who still woke up scared during thunderstorms, wanted to turn around and run.
But if I gave in to my fear, Harry would mention it in the arrest report. Then it would be back to riding patrol and answering radio calls, where I got even less respect.
I forced myself to move forward. Now my gun was pointing in front of me, toward the direction of the sound. The Beretta was double action and protocol dictated it stayed uncocked. The harder pull meant fewer accidental shootings. Theoretically, at least. My finger was so tight on the trigger that a strong breeze would have caused me to fire.
“You see him?” Harry asked. I heard him in my earpiece, but I also heard him in the alley, somewhere ahead.
“Not yet.”
“Maybe he’s screaming because he can’t stand the smell.”
I didn’t think that was the case. I’d heard my share of screams on the Job. Screams of joy. Screams of sorrow. Screams of pain.
This was a scream of terror.
A clanging sound, only a few yards away from me. A Dumpster. I held my breath, heard whimpering coming from inside.
“He’s in a Dumptser,” I told Harry.
“Probably sitting in a big pile of rats.”
I approached quickly. It was dark, but I could see the Dumpster lid was open.
“This is the police!” I shouted, hoping my voice didn’t quaver. “Raise your hands up where I can see them!”
Bald Guy complied. But there was something wrong. Rather than two hands, I counted three.
I moved closer, and realized the third hand wasn’t his. It belonged to a woman.
And it wasn’t attached to the rest of her. Bald Guy was holding it, the look on his face pure horror.
I felt someone touch my shoulder and jumped back. It was Harry.
“Looks like he got you a birthday present, Jackie. Quite a handy guy.”
My stomach seized up, then I bent over and vomited, soaking my broken shoes and getting it caught in the fake curls hanging in front of my face. When I heaved for the final time, the transmitter popped free of my bustier and plonked into the puddle of puke.
“Happy twenty-ninth,” Harry said.
BIOGRAPHIES
BLAKE CROUCH is the author of DESERT PLACES, LOCKED DOORS, and ABANDON, which was an IndieBound Notable Selection last summer, all published by St. Martin’s Press. His newest thriller, SNOWBOUND, also from St. Martin’s, was released in June 2010. His short fiction has appeared in Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, Thriller 2, and other anthologies, and is forthcoming in the new Shivers anthology and Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine. Last year, he co-wrote “Serial” with J.A. Konrath, which has been downloaded over 250,000 times and topped the Kindle bestseller list for 4 weeks. That story and DESERT PLACES have also been optioned for film. Blake lives in Durango, Colorado. His website is www.blakecrouch.com.
JACK KILBORN is the pen name for J.A. Konrath, author of seven books in the Lt. Jack Daniels thriller series, the latest of which is SHAKEN. Under the Kilborn moniker, he wrote ENDURANCE, TRAPPED, and AFRAID, all structured in the same way as DRACULAS, but decidedly darker. Konrath currently has twenty-seven ebooks available on Kindle, most of them inexpensively priced. In 2011, Ace Books is releasing TIMECASTER and TIMECASTER SUPERSYMMETRY, two sci-fi ecopunk novels written under the nom de plume Joe Kimball. You can visit all of his personalities at www.jakonrath.com.
JEFF STRAND used to be best known as the creator of Andrew Mayhem, whose insane adventures appear in such horror/comedy novels as GRAVEROBBERS WANTED (NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY), SINGLE WHITE PSYCHOPATH SEEKS SAME, and CASKET FOR SALE (ONLY USED ONCE). But now he’s probably best known for his first “serious” book, PRESSURE, which was a Bram Stoker Award finalist for Best Novel. He’s written other comedic books (BENJAMIN’S PARASITE, THE SINISTER MR. CORPSE) and other serious books (DWELLER), and a couple that kinda blur the lines (WOLF HUNT, KUTTER). You can visit his Gleefully Macabre website at www.jeffstrand.com.
F. PAUL WILSON is a NY Times bestselling author of forty-plus novels who has won the Stoker, Inkpot, Porgie, and Prometheus Awards. His work spans science fiction, horror, adventure, medical thrillers, and virtually everything between. He has written for the stage, screen, and interactive media as well, and has been translated into 24 languages. His most famous novel, THE KEEP was adapted into a perfectly awful film by Michael Mann. His latest thrillers, GROUND ZERO and FATAL ERROR, star his urban mercenary, Repairman Jack. JACK: SECRET CIRCLES is the latest in a young-adult series starring a fourteen-year-old Jack. Paul resides at the Jersey Shore
and can be found on the Web at www.repairmanjack.com.
BIBLIOGRAPHIES
F. Paul Wilson’s Works Available on Kindle
Repairman Jack novels
The Last Rakosh (free)
Legacies
Gateways
The Haunted Air
Hosts
Crisscross
Infernal
Harbingers
By the Sword
Ground Zero
Fatal Error
Jack: Secret Histories (young adult)
Jack: Secret Circles (young adult)
The Adversary Cycle
The Keep
The Touch
Reborn
The LaNague Federation series
An Enemy of the State
Dydeetown World
Wheels Within Wheels
The Tery
Healer
Other works
The Select
Implant
Deep as the Marrow
Sibs
Black Wind
Virgin
Midnight Mass (vampires)
DNA WARS with Matthew J. Costello
Mirage with Matthew J. Costello
Sims
The Fifth Harmonic
Aftershock & Others (collected stories)
Jeff Strand’s Works Available on Kindle
Andrew Mayhem novels
Graverobbers Wanted (No Experience Necessary)
Single White Psychopath Seeks Same
Casket For Sale (Only Used Once)
Suckers with J.A. Konrath
Other works
Benjamin’s Parasite
Pressure
Dweller
Gleefully Macabre Tales (collected stories)
How to Rescue a Dead Princess
Elrod McBugle on the Loose
Out of Whack
J.A. Konrath’s Works Available on Kindle
Jack Daniels thrillers
Whiskey Sour
Bloody Mary
Rusty Nail
Dirty Martini
Fuzzy Navel
Cherry Bomb
Shaken
Shot of Tequila
Banana Hammock
Jack Daniels Stories (collected stories)
SERIAL UNCUT with Blake Crouch
Suckers with Jeff Strand
Planter’s Punch with Tom Schreck
Floaters with Henry Perez
Truck Stop
Other works
Afraid
Endurance
Trapped
Origin
The List
Disturb
55 Proof (short story omnibus)
Crime Stories (collected stories)
Horror Stories (collected stories)
Dumb Jokes & Vulgar Poems
A Newbie’s Guide to Publishing
Blake Crouch’s Works Available on Kindle
Andrew Z. Thomas thrillers
Desert Places
Locked Doors
Other works
Abandon
Snowbound
Luminous Blue
Perfect Little Town (horror novella)
Serial Uncut with J.A. Konrath and Jack Kilborn
Bad Girl (short story)
Four Live Rounds (collected stories)
Shining Rock (short story)
*69 (short story)
On the Good, Red Road (short story)
Remaking (short story)
Exclusive Behind-the-Scenes Making of DRACULAS
This is an exclusive, spoiler-laden, behind-the-scenes look at the writing of DRACULAS. What follows is the chain of emails between Joe, Blake, Jeff, and Paul, from March 27, 2010 through October 2, 2010. This is our back-and-forth to one another as we worked on DRACULAS, detailing the entire writing process, who wrote what, things that were added, cut, switched, and editorial suggestions to each other. These emails were recreated exactly as they were written, so there are typos. This is essentially a window into our co-writing process. It will probably be boring for readers, but for writers interested in collaboration, it offers a peek behind the curtains of how we did it.
It begins with Joe emailing Jeff after confirming the project with Blake over the phone…
March 27, 2010
Jeff—
Our novella SUCKERS has made $$$ this month, and the month isn’t over yet.
In June, Amazon is doubling the royalty rate. Which means we’ll be making about $$$ per month, EACH, on Suckers.
We should do some other collaboration. Maybe a McGlade/Mayhem piece. Or perhaps an original Kindle novel.
I’ve got an idea that could be used for either.
Some scientists find Dracula’s bones in Transylvania (they know it’s Dracula because he’s got a stake in the heart and fangs.) Pulling out the stake does nothing. So they take the bones back home, and accidentally clone him.
Title: DRACULAS.
The word “vampire” has been used to death. But “Dracula” has not. And with PREDATORS coming this summer, adding an “S” to a known monster name makes perfect sense.
We could go the serious route, as an action horror book. Could go comedy. Could go McGlade and Mayhem.
Interested?
Joe
• • •
Holy crap. That’s a lot of frickin’ money for a book with spaghetti sauce as the primary plot driver.
Let me get back to you on the collaboration. You’re right—an original, “major” novel for the Kindle would make us a fortune, and if you had e-mailed me yesterday around noon I would’ve said “Absolutely!” And then I would have e-mailed you back rather sheepishly and said that I might not be able to commit, because my agent got an e-mail about a work-for-hire project that will be potentially huge and will very likely leave me with no free time until 2011.
Jeff
• • •
What if DRACULAS were split three ways? Blake Crouch is involved (he and I just sold movie rights to SERIAL, believe it or not.)
If each of us write 20k, we could do it fast, get it up in a month. That way there’s no big time commitment, and you can still meet your deadlines.
I’m thinking this can be somewhat tongue and cheek, but not satire. Sort of like the first Evil Dead movie. Think 28 Days Later with vampires. And none of that supernatural BS. Crosses, garlic, daylight; none of that stops them. Only way to kill them is to cut off the head. And these aren’t debonair, hypnotizing movie idols. No turning into bats or sleeping in coffins. These draculas are running, screeching, blood sucking dynamos.
We’re talking a balls-to-the-wall screaming vampire invasion novel. Rabid, feral, crazy bloodsuckers, draining everything that moves; people, dogs, cattle, each other. Once gets cut, spills its own blood, the others pounce on him.
Maybe we confine the action to a hospital out in a rural area. One of the doctors there somehow gets Dracula’s bones, does some experiments, suddenly there’s a dracula outbreak. Heroes are a soon-to-be mom and dad in labor in the maternity ward, a lumberjack recovering from a work injury, a nurse at her first week on the job, and a paranoid redneck cop.
Think about it…
Joe
• • •
Ah…so it would have been something like BLOOD DEVIL by Eli Roth & JA Konrath .
I’ve got an April 30 deadline for WOLF HUNT, so I won’t be able to work on anything else until that one’s finished. I know that they’d want me to get started on another project fairly soon after that, and right now I don’t know if it’s going to be a brutal deadline or a generous, leisurely one. So I’ll keep you posted. If you and Blake want to rush forward with DRACULAS, we’ll come up with another idea when my schedule is clear!
Jeff
• • •
DRACULAS (A Novel of Terror) Page 43