"Hhmmnm cook-eeeee, Nee Nee," Alice said.
"I promised her a cookie, Mama," I explained, "if she come outa the tub nice like."
"Cook-eeeee, Nee Nee, cook-eeeee."
"Let's get yer' nappie and yer' jammies on first." Mama patted her dry all over and headed for Lexie's bed to dress her.
"No, no, lay down, lay down, Alice." I heard Mama's soft voice coaxing Alice to be still and knew from the sounds of the springs squawking she was paying her no mind.
There was two things Alice liked to do better than chase the chickens. Run bare-buck naked through the house and jump on Lexie and Melvin's bed. I always laid her out on the small rug on Lexie's floor to dress her, else she never stopped jumping long enough for me to pin her didies on.
I patted Irl dry and laid him down on that rug now. He was getting tired and weren't no problem a'tall. He yawned and rubbed his eyes 'til they was little red half-moons.
"Cook-eeeee, Nee Nee." Alice had calmed down but hadn't forgotten her cookie. Mama's christened name was Nadine. But it come out Nee Nee when Alice said it. Pretty good for a baby.
I liked staying with them. We was kinda like a family. Ray hadn't come around once. It was real nice, even though there wasn't much room. I slept in a sleeping sack on the porch and Lexie made a bed up for Mama on the sofa they got at the secondhand store over in Decatur. It was dark green. The armrests was scratchy and all worn out and it had two cigarette burns on it, but other than that it was a real good one. Only cost ten dollars. With a sheet tucked around it, Mama said it was fine to sleep on. She would of said that though, even if it wasn't. Mama didn't like to be a bother.
"I think we ought to head on home, Melvin," she said that night after supper.
"Let him stew good and long, Nadine. Maybe he'll come to his senses."
"He may not have any left," she said. "The liquor mighta got it all."
"Give 'im time, Nadine. Let him realize what's important. He'll come around."
Lexie stared at Melvin and blinked. I don't think she believed it for a hot second. She looked around the small kitchen.
"It's just—well, we're in the way…" Lexie cut her right off.
"Nadine, I don't rightly know what I'd do without Lori Jean helpin' out with the twins every day after school. She's a lifesaver, that girl."
"She could come help out, even if we moved home," Mama said. "She could come by after school."
"And don't forget the help she give me after supper. Why, it's like I been on vacation." Lexie patted her belly. Her and Melvin done made another baby.
Melvin was checking on getting them a trailer. They only had the one bedroom where they was and all four of them in it. It wouldn't do with a new baby coming. Now the trailer, it come with two bedrooms and a nice big living room. It even had its own furniture. Melvin was working a deal to help move and set them up after the owner sold them off his lot. They was all used ones, but real nice. I figured we should get us one and put it next to theirs. We'd be a real family, then. Ray could quit drinking and get hisself some work. We'd have the twins and a new baby next door. Yep, we'd be a whole family of relatives. We'd get together on Sundays after church, eat fried chicken and collard greens, buttermilk biscuits, and peach cobbler for dessert. I could see it and taste every bit of it. New baby and everything. Part of heaven right in Roseflower Creek. I might could have my own room even, if we got ourselves one a them two-bedroom kind. And those trailers all had a inside bathroom with a toilet. If only Ray could see what we could have. I might could forgive 'im for what he done to Carolee, seeing how he might not a meant to and all. Yes sirree, I prayed every week I could do that, forgive him. Every Sunday Mama and me headed off ta' church, I said, "Lord, please help me forgive that no-good Ray, so we can be a family." I prayed it on Wednesday night go ta' church meetings, too. And I asked the Lord to help Ray quit drinking. "And Lord," I said, "if 'n you can't see fit to do that, could you just fix it so he throws that stuff up 'fore it goes down, instead a' after?"
He didn't answer me none, but I figured he was real busy and would get to me if he could. Melvin and Lexie was real busy about then, too.
Melvin, he was fixing to buy this 1947 Chevrolet automobile from a fella lived in Clarkston selling it to get hisself outa jail. He got hisself all drunk and smashed up the fenders when he run off the road and drove through old man Hawkins's chicken coop. Melvin got some replacement ones lined up and was gonna put them on hisself. The fenders, they was all different colors, but the car worked real good. Chevy engine. Melvin said Chevy engines was the best. If Ray straightened up, we could get us a Chevy automobile, too. I figured there was probably a fella drinking and banging his fenders at that very moment 'cause a whole lot of men folk drank too much. Sure thing, we could get us one of them Chevrolet automobiles, too. We could maybe see the USA, like Dinah Shore said to on the television. It was Mz. Hawkins's favorite show, next to Ed Sullivan. Sometimes she let me watch it with her. "See the USA in your Chevrolet." It was a regular family thing to do. If 'n we had us a Chevy, we could be a regular family.
It didn't take long for Melvin to make them arrangements on that trailer. When Melvin said he was gonna do something, it was good as done. The day they moved in, me and Mama helped 'em. I lugged a box that was a bit bigger than me up the steps, then started down for another. 'Fore long I was mighty tired, but there was plenty left to do. Lexie couldn't help much. She was sick with that morning fever a lot of ladies get when they's growing a baby. Mostly Lexie nibbled soda crackers and threw up a lot. Then she drunk the ginger ale Melvin got for her down at Jonah's Crossing and throwed that up, too.
"Havin' babies is about as much trouble before they get here as after," Mama said.
I always thought Mama liked babies fine, but she said things that made it seem like she didn't when she was around ladies that was having 'em. Fancy that.
I about wore myself plumb out that day, hauling stuff up and down them trailer steps. I sat down on the last box I dragged in and watched Melvin wrestle the mattress up the steps all by hisself. Mama had the twins over at our place feeding them dinner, so I was supposed to do her part here 'til she got back. I needed to shake a leg, but my heart just wasn't in it. I kept thinking how nice it'd be if we was moving our stuff in and I was helping Ray and Mama get set up new like. I watched Melvin plunk the mattress down onto the box spring he'd hauled in earlier. They took up most of the space in the back bedroom. I pictured Mama and Ray scooting around each other in the morning, Ray putting on his work clothes, Mama pulling up the covers and patting the pillows into place. They was nice dreams, sure enough. I could see it all plain as pie. Still perched on that box I was resting on, I remembered what MeeMaw always told me.
"Lori Jean, you can't cross the creek by starin' at the water! Get a move on now."
That always got things rolling when we had work to do. I figured it might work for dreams, too. You just had to get 'em moving is all. After we carried the last of the boxes in, Mama come back with Alice and Irl. They was rubbing their eyes. It was time for their naps. Mama laid them down on the bare mattress and tucked a blanket around them. They curled up in little balls next to each other, butt to butt. They was so cute. Alice had her thumb in her mouth and the corner of the blanket looped around her fingers. She liked to rub the fabric back and forth against her cheek. Irl, he just liked to hug onto his teddy bear, which weren't really a bear, but a stuffed dog I made him that didn't turn out real good.
"Well, lookie here, Irl," Melvin said. "Lori Jean done made you a birthday bear." That's how it come to be a bear. 'Fore that it was a dog.
We tiptoed out of the room, Mama and me. I told her about my dreams.
"Mama," I said, "we gotta git ourselves a future. Git a nice place like this. And a Chevy car, too."
"You're dreamin', child," she said.
"Don't you got dreams, Mama?"
"I got dreams," she said. "They're old."
"Still, they're dreams," I said.
"L
ori Jean, old dreams is like fire. Once the flame is out, there ain't much left but the memory."
"Oh, Mama," I said, "MeeMaw woulda never let that be so."
Mama was getting herself an ill temper and it come out in her voice.
"Well, MeeMaw ain't here no more now, is she?"
"Maybe so, but my dreams are. They're right here," I said and pointed to my heart. "And that's where they're stayin." I stuck my chin right up in the air so she could see I was sorely determined. That soft look come back in her eyes I seen now and then.
"Sure, honey," she said. "Sure." But it didn't seem like she believed it. I figured I'd have to make a believer out of her. I started working on a plan.
While Melvin and Lexie settled into the trailer, Mama and me stayed on at their old place. Rent was paid 'til the end of the month. Mama was hoping Ray would come round by then sober, with talk of a job. Truth be known, I was, too. It was the end of October. We only had us a few days left to go and we'd have to move back home for sure whether he was drinking or not. We'd run out of places to stay.
Melvin wanted Ray to come up in the world as much as I did. He kept getting on him about moving trailers for Mr. Jenkins. What a fine opportunity it was. A body could do real good getting started all over again. Peoples was buying them old trailers up like candy apples at a carnival. Mr. Jenkins had 'em painted all new like on the outside. Two men in white overhauls sprayed them with this hose that had silver paint come out the end. Lots of it sprayed right back on them and they was dotted with silver spots. Even their faces and their hair was spotted. Then Mz. Jenkins, she washed down the insides with suds and lye soap. They was pretty good inside then, pretty next to new.
I was real excited, but Mama didn't seem to be, or was hiding it good if she was.
"Oh, Mama," I said, "we're makin' our dreams."
She kept saying, "We'll see. We'll see."
"We gonna have us a new home in no time and then maybe that Chevy car and…"
"Don't go countin' chickens 'fore they're hatched, Lori Jean," she said. "The rooster ain't even near the hen house yet." Roosters, chickens, hen house. We was getting a trailer, what'd I care about a barnyard, nohow? Ray hadn't exactly said he was gonna work for Mr. Jenkins or nothing but Melvin said he wasn't giving up. I knew I could count on Uncle Melvin.
The circus come to town and he and Lexie told Mama they was taking me for a 'lated birthday present, since I didn't get me a party that year after all. I didn't much mind by then, since Carolee wasn't with me no more to help like we'd planned.
Barnum and Bailey joined up with Wringley Brothers or something and it was the greatest show ever on earth, they said. Imagine that! The greatest show ever on earth! I couldn't sleep for three nights straight 'fore we was fixing to go get our tickets. We had some other excitement that week, too. Melvin was still working days over in Decatur at the Scottsdale Mill, even though he worked for Mr. Jenkins when he got done there. The mill payroll got robbed sometime a'fore Friday morning when they was to give out the money to the workers. It was insured and stuff, so Melvin and the other workers got their money okay the next day.
Ray wasn't working there no more, so it didn't concern him none, but the whole town was pretty excited about the story in the Decatur paper. Melvin brought one and had me read it out loud. It was like a Bonnie and Clyde story for sure. Seems them robbers snuck in sometime during the night, fed the dogs raw meat and took the money from the safe. The paper said there wasn't any real sign the safe was even broken into. Seems the door was never locked to begin with. The paper said this Mr. John Allen Smithers who was in charge got hisself fired for not shutting it tight and locking it. And first they even thought he might of done it, but they decided not. The office lady said he had a habit of not locking up, on account it wasn't working real good. The combination or something stuck a lot, she said, and he couldn't get it open in the morning without cursing. They never been robbed a'fore, Mr. Smithers said, so he just kept leaving it not quite shut.
It was a real fine story. The lawman investigating it said there was over ten thousand dollars took and a reward would be posted of five hundred dollars for getting it back. Lots of folks was hoping to find a way to help the law out and collect that reward, but one of them lawmen fellas said the culprit was probably clear to Alabama by now and not to count on it. That got the sheriff mad. He said they didn't know the likes of his county and he'd catch 'em sure as church.
Chapter Fourteen
"Mz. Hawkins," I said, "they got a five-hundred-dollar reward for catchin' them robbers. Fancy that." It was Saturday. I was helping her fold the laundry. She give me ten cents an hour and I had me thirty cents due already and it wan't even twelve o'clock noon. Mz. Hawkins always paid Mama more. She was supposed to help that morning. We sure needed the money, but she went with Lexie Ann. They took Little Irl to the doctor in Decatur since he wan't no better. He had us all a bit worried, but Melvin said not to fret none.
"Young'uns is always gettin' sick," he said. So I stopped fretting 'cause he knew just about everything, Uncle Melvin did. But Mama and Lexie Ann was still worried and had creases in their foreheads when they leaned over him to check his temperature.
"That's a right nice amount, Lori Jean," Mz. Hawkins said.
"Ma'am?" I said, thinking she meant the money she was paying me for helping, which I was sorely grateful for, but even so, it didn't seem like much a'tall.
"That reward money, a right nice amount."
"That it is," I said. "Somebody was to get that, they'd be rich for sure."
"Right nice sum," she said.
"I'd sure like ta' git that reward money and give it to my mama," I said. "Git us a really big trailer and everything. That's what I wish."
"If wishes were horses, Lori Jean, beggars would ride," she said real sassy like.
"I reckon," I said, trying to be respectful like MeeMaw taught me, but I stuck my tongue out when she turned away, not being able to help myself none. I folded up a pair of her undies and put 'em on top of the laundry basket, then started on another pair. Them bloomers of hers was big as a cow's butt. I hoped God would forgive me for noticing.
She give me lunch, fifty cents and an extra dime I didn't do no work for, before I left, so she weren't all bad. Matter of factly, Mz. Hawkins could be right nice when she had a mind to be.
Seeing as our place wasn't too far off, I decided to go and see what Ray was up to. But first I wanted to sit with Carolee at her grave spot. I stopped at the creek, took my shoes and socks off and mixed up a batch of mud cakes. I loved how that clay squished between my fingers all gooey like. I stuck my toes in the muck, too. Then I made up a nice stack of them dirt cookies for Carolee and carried them on up to the cemetery. By the time I got done visiting it was getting late and the sun was setting fast. I went back down to the creek to wash up and get my shoes. One of them was there on the bank of the creek stuck in the dirt where I left it. The other one was nowhere in sight. I looked everywhere. Did a coon carry it off ? Did it slide down into the river? It didn't much matter. Either way I was in bad trouble. They was the only ones I had. That's mostly why I took 'em off in the first place, so's they wouldn't get so muddy. I looked and looked. My stomach tied itself all up in knots tighter than one a' them mummies Mz. Pence showed us in a 'cyclopedia book.
I run all over that creek bank searching for that shoe. By then it was near dinnertime for sure. My stomach started growling and my eyes started watering. I was ready to plumb give up. I really didn't want to leave without my shoe, but it was getting dark, and the hoot owls was making noises in the trees. Then I heard some rustling in the tall grasses. The creek was moving a bit swifter over the rocks now that evening was closing in, making its own scary noises.
I went to the edge of the water for one last look, praying my shoe would appear. It didn't, but something else did, right out of nowhere. One of them snakes! Looked to be a black racer. Them kind ain't poisonous, I knew that much, but I don't like snakes. It slithered
past my bare feet and slipped into the dark water. I took off running, but I didn't make it too far before I took a tumble. The mud patches I'd made earlier baking them dirt cookies tripped me up. Now my clothes was a sorrowful sight. I got back on my feet and headed to our house. Maybe Ray was out drinking and I could clean up there 'fore Mama saw what shape I was in. I hung on to the one shoe I had left, not knowing how it'd be any good to me now, but wanting to have something to show for my efforts.
A cold spell had settled in that last week of October. Set a record for Georgia, they said. At school Amos Moses Johnson even fired up the coal furnace to take the chill off when the principal told him to.
It was getting darker. The sun had sneaked off and the wind picked up speed. It blew faster than I ran. It zoomed ahead of me and smacked me in the face. I made my way out of the woods and onto the dirt road that led to our front porch.
I hoped the house would be dark, that Ray would be gone and I could rest and clean myself up before I went back to Lexie and Melvin's old place, where Mama was waiting on me. Seeing the lights pouring out from the windows, I knew Ray was there and hoped even harder he'd be sober and in one of his nice moods, that he'd help me, maybe come with me to tell Mama, to say it didn't matter none about one old dumb shoe, that he had hisself a new job, paid good money, and we could get all the shoes we wanted. I prayed that real hard.
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