"Howdy, folks," he said. "Fill 'er up?"
"Nah, just give me a dollar's worth," Ray said. He looked through his wallet, then closed it up. Mama stayed in the truck dabbing at her eyes. A nasty bruise was forming on her cheek where Ray punched at her.
"Me and the Mrs. is takin' a bit of a holiday. Git away from the kids fer a spell; have us a little fun," Ray said and winked when he said the word fun.
"You know anybody got a place we could stay at?" The man called Chester scratched his head.
"Nothin' fancy, now. Somethin' don't cost too much money," Ray said. "I got more sense than money and my woman here says I ain't got much a' that." Ray and the fella shared a laugh. But that fella Chester didn't laugh like his heart was in it, and he kept staring at my mama when Ray wasn't looking. He might of been the kind of person can tell when something just ain't right. MeeMaw said there's folks like that. They got extra-special senses or something. Then there's these kinds of peoples can tell when a person's character is good or not just by standing next to 'em, MeeMaw said. Seems maybe this Chester fella was both these kind of people all at once. He sure didn't seem to cotton to Ray none. Funny thing, Ray didn't seem to notice it, but I sure did. I think Mama did, too, 'cause she kept looking at this fella, pleading at him with her eyes when Ray wasn't watching. Her eyes was kind of saying, Help me, please help me—that kind of look.
The Chester fella cleaned their windshield while the gas was pumping.
"George Johnson's got an old fishin' shack he don't use no more since his arthritis got too bad. Might could stay there a spell," Chester said.
"Now how would I get a hold a' this Mr. Johnson? We gotta hurry," Ray said.
Chester looked up when Ray said that.
"We ain't got a lotta time 'fore I got to be back to work. We're anxious to git where we're goin', git our holiday started," Ray told Chester. Chester nodded polite like.
"Where you folks from?" he asked.
"Macon," Ray said, and that was a lie. We ain't never come from Macon.
"Macon. That's a pretty far piece for a short holiday," Chester said.
"We kept drivin' along. 'Fore we knew it we was here," Ray said. "Now this Mr. Johnson fella…"
"He's over at the coffee shop. Just take this road into town a piece." Chester pointed at the road straight ahead.
"Can't miss it. Only place there that's got any eats." Chester took Ray's dollar, tipped his cap to my mama and walked back to the filling station door. He picked at his teeth and watched them drive away. He dialed up the telephone, I noticed. Whoever this Mr. Johnson was, he'd probably know what Ray wanted even 'fore they got there. That's how small towns is. Everybody passes on what they hears, soon's they hear it.
Ray made arrangements with that Mr. Johnson man and got the key. Give him five whole dollars for the week. Ray told him he and Mama was making it a second honeymoon and didn't want no one to know they was there and could he keep it a secret. Mr. Johnson said sure enough, be happy to. Then he come outside and said howdy to Mama. She had the truck door open and her legs swung out like she was fixin' to run. Maybe she would have if Ray had a' stayed inside a tad longer. Mr. Johnson had bad arthritis. He was crippled up more than MeeMaw ever was. If he took hisself a good look at Mama, he'd know they weren't on no honeymoon—second, third, or whatever—by the 'spression on her face.
When they got up to the cabin, Ray had to build a fire to keep them warm. It can get right cold in them Georgia mountains come sundown. Once Ray and Mama got settled, I started wondering what was going on with Melvin and Lexie and Mz. Hawkins and everybody back home. I found out that when I closed my eyes I got to the place where they was; simple as that. Nothing to it! I could hear 'em and see 'em and everything. This being no longer in the regular world weren't all bad. It was magical.
Aunt Lexie was beside herself when she got over to our trailer and found supper all ready and Mama nowhere in sight. Uncle Melvin said to hang on to her britches, that something must of come up and they'd find out directly; just to have a little patience. I think Aunt Lexie was one a' them kinds of people that can tell when something's wrong for sure, and she was fretting up a storm.
Sure enough, Sheriff Dooley and his deputy man come up to the trailer and talked with Melvin in real quiet tones and kept looking over at Lexie as they was whispering. Lexie was sitting on one of our kitchen chairs, holding Irl on her lap, and Alice was sitting on the floor playing with a little cloth doll Lexie made her. Uncle Melvin kept saying real soft like, "Oh my God. Oh my God." They might of been telling him about the money. It weren't hid all that good and Ray, he didn't take time to look for it at all when he hightailed it out of the woods. They probably found it by now. And they might coulda been telling Melvin 'bout me if 'n they seen my body floating in Roseflower Creek where Ray throwed me. Could be, 'cause Uncle Melvin looked awful in the face and had to go set hisself down on the sofa.
"Lexie, honey, come here," he said. "Sheriff, can you take the kids on outside?"
"Melvin, what is it? What is it?" Lexie asked. She walked on over to Melvin, but she was looking up at the sheriff as she was doing it. He weren't saying anything. He just stood there and his deputy stood next to him by the door of our trailer. The sheriff said, "Who'd like to blow that siren in my car?" Irl went stumbling towards the door in his leg braces.
"I wanna do it!" he said. Alice got up, run over to the sofa and climbed into Lexie's lap. When the sheriff tried to take her she wouldn't have no part of it.
"It's okay. It's okay," Lexie said. "Let her stay with me, Melvin," she said. "They're scaring her." Melvin nodded at the sheriff.
"Darlin'," Melvin said. He pulled Lexie close to him and put his arm around her shoulder. He patted the back of Alice's blonde curls.
"They found Lori Jean floatin' in the creek, honey…"
"Hhuuuuuuuuhhhh…" Aunt Lexie started to shriek like a chicken done seen a fox in the hen house. Alice started crying, too, but I don't think she knew what she was crying for. She was just fussin' 'cause Lexie was making them scary noises.
"Lexie, honey, listen to me. Listen," Melvin said and put his hand across her mouth.
"They think Ray done it and…" Lexie kept shaking her head side to side and moaning like she didn't want to believe any of it.
"…and they found some that payroll money, you know what was taken from the mill. They think he and Nadine run off with the rest of it…"
"Noooooooo!" Lexie jumped up.
"Nadine wouldn't a' done that! I know Nadine wouldn't…" Alice was screaming and hanging on to Lexie with all her might. Melvin looked up at the deputy.
"Would you take my family home?" he said. "And stop by Mz. Hawkins's and get her to come be with Lexie and the kids?" The deputy nodded. He come over to Lexie and took her gently by the arm.
"Come with us, Mz. Pruitt. This ain't no place to be right now," he said. Lexie looked at the table with all the food spread out. She spotted the birthday cake sitting on the counter and started to rock her body back and forth with Alice in her arms.
"Oh, what's goin' on? Oh God, what's goin' on?" Lexie cried out. Melvin took her by the shoulders and walked her out the door. He put both his arms around her. She leaned her head into his chest.
"Oh, Melvin," she said, "tell me it ain't so. Tell me our little Lori Jean's okay. Please…" Melvin shook his head.
"Oh, please, Melvin…" Lexie said.
"You go on home now. I'm goin' with the deputies, Lexie. I got to help bring Ray in. I got to do this." Lexie started crying really hard. Her mouth was all twisted up and horrible sounds was coming from it. All the while she was bouncing Alice on her hip and patting her back trying to get her to stop crying and she was just a'wailing away herself. I knew she loved me and was crying over me and it hurt me to see her that way. I knew she didn't care whether Ray took that money and was in trouble. She never much trusted him to do much good anyway. So it had to be me being gone that was troubling her so. I wanted to tell her I was fine and not
to worry none, but no matter how hard I tried to she just didn't hear me.
"Aunt Lexie, I'm just fine. Just fine. Don't be sad, hear?" But she just kept carrying on. It was real sorrowful it was. She done had so much sadness this past year, I just hated to be part of any more. Darn that no-good Ray for killing me. Now look what he done. He made Lexie hurt something awful and here my mama ain't even found out yet. He was gonna make her plumb awful sad, too.
The deputy stopped and picked up Mz. Hawkins 'fore he took Lexie home. Maybelle rattled on and on about what happened.
"And when Lori Jean told me she found that money, well you can imagine my horror. And the danger that girl must of been in. Why, they killed her to keep her quiet over that money. Now, I tried to keep her at my house. I begged her to stay with me, but she wouldn't have any part of it. Why, I told her, 'Now, Lori Jean,' I says, 'we're gonna call the authorities and let them handle this,' but no, she run off and…" The deputy leaned over towards her. Maybelle, she was sitting in the front seat of the squad car; Lexie and the kids was in the back.
"Mz. Hawkins, I don't think you ought to be carryin' on just now. This woman's been through a lot today…"
"Oh, my, yes…" Maybelle said. "Well, Lexie, how's Little Irl's legs coming along?" Maybelle jumped from one thing to another. Prattled on and on. I don't think she got it that Lexie wasn't in no talking mood just then.
After that deputy dropped 'em off, he joined up with the sheriff over at the jailhouse. They was rounding up everybody to go hunting for Ray. It was a posse for sure. And they was acting like my mama was a criminal to be on the watch for, too.
"This is the only photo we got a' the suspects," the sheriff said. "It was taken the day they was married, but it's only been a couple a' years so they pretty much look the same. Look it over good." It was that nice picture Mr. Hawkins took of them at the reception. The one I liked the best. The one my mama looked so special on. If them men looked it over good like they was supposed to, they sure enough could tell she weren't no criminal. I noticed they each took their time when their turn come to look at the picture, so I wasn't worried none about that. I was worried over my mama and how she'd feel when she found out I wasn't coming up to be with them after all.
The sheriff swore the posse in, including Uncle Melvin, and they climbed into a passel a' vehicles and took off following the sheriff 's squad car. He was headed in the right direction and I wondered how he knew which way Ray went. Then I remembered all the rain we'd had and how that dirt road out by our place showed the tracks of his truck at the end of the road. You could still see where Ray turned off to the right heading towards Sugarville.
I figured it was only a matter of time 'fore they found them and brought them in. It would be a relief to my mama. She still probably thought I was okay and would want to get home to me. And she weren't one to leave a mess, and I knowed she was thinking about all that food sitting out on the table spoiling and stinking up our trailer.
When I went back to the cabin where they was, Ray was rummaging around in the cupboards to see what was left on the shelves for them to eat. There was one can of beans and a can of corn and some beef jerky. He had Mama heat up the beans and corn and they ate the jerky right from the package. It sure wasn't like the birthday supper Mama spent so much time cooking. She didn't seem to be concerned about that, though. Her face had dark creases in it; deeper worry lines than I ever seen on her face a'fore.
"Ray, what's goin' on? Why won't you tell me?" she asked.
Ray swallowed down spoonfuls of the beans and finished the corn Mama put on a tin plate for him. She ground some coffee beans she found in the cupboard and brewed it right over the fire in an old bent coffeepot she found in the pie safe.
"I will after we eat," he said. Mama poured him some of the coffee and drank the rest herself. She didn't touch any of the food she'd put on her plate. It was a white china plate with pink flowers and gold edges. It looked old and had chips along one edge, but still, it was real pretty and I wondered how it ended up at that old fishing shack.
"You gonna eat that?" Ray motioned at the corn and beans on the china plate. Mama shook her head no. Ray took his fork and dragged the plate over to him, ate what was on it and let out a belch.
Mama got up and started clearing the table just like she done at home. She pumped water into a kettle and set it on the stove to boil and washed the few dishes and put them back where she found them. Ray nosed around and found a bottle of corn liquor in the shed outside. He come back inside and poured hisself a glassful. Mama done something I never seen her do. She poured some of it in a glass for herself and took a big swallow. She swallowed hard and scrunched her eyes together when it went down. Didn't look like she liked it none too much, but she took another swallow just the same.
Ray lit a kerosene lamp and sat in a chair by the fire. Mama wrapped herself in a blanket she pulled off the bed and sat on the floor next to the hearth. Bits of burnt kindling snapped and popped. Sparks come shooting out ever' once in a while. There wasn't any screen covering the fire and I was sore afraid the sparks would catch hold of Mama and set her on fire. She didn't seem none too worried. She just burrowed in closer.
"Nadine, I ain't done right by you, girl," Ray said. Mama looked over in his direction.
"I want ya' to know I had every intention that day we got married that things was gonna be different." Mama kept staring at him.
"And I know mostly they haven't been, 'ceptin' for a short time after the fire." Mama just sat there nodding her head.
"And I ain't forgot what you done for me, gettin' me back on my feet. Ain't no one ever been better to me in my whole life than you, Nadine. No one, not even my mama. God knows she tried, but my pa never let her get near me." Ray took a big swig of that corn liquor.
"See, Nadine, all my life I just ain't been able to be what I was supposed to be. It's like…it's like no matter what chance I get I…these things inside me, these demon things, they…" Ray took another big swallow of that white lightning.
"Nadine, I done somethin' so terrible…there's no way you're gonna…there's no way I kin…see, what I done, well, I ain't gonna be able to make it right. It's just…I want you ta' know…I've tried to be…I've tried…" Ray took another swallow and then he done something I ain't never seen him do before. He started crying. Not hollering crying like he did at the creek that day he saw I wan't breathing no more, but crying like you do when your heart's plumb broke apart. Crying like I cried when I lost Carolee. Crying like Mama and me did when we found MeeMaw dead in her bed that winter when I was seven. He started crying like that and just couldn't stop.
And I watched and I watched and something happened to me inside. So deep inside I felt it run through every part of me. Every bit of hate and anger and bitterness I had for that man just sprang right out of my chest. And when I looked at Ray, he weren't a man no more. He was a little boy, six or seven maybe, and he was crying and his nose was all bloody and he was begging his pa to stop whipping him. And here I was no longer in that world and I was crying right along with him and begging his pa to stop hurting him.
"Please, Mr. Pruitt," I said. "Don't hurt Ray no more. He's just a little boy. He needs your love. Little children needs it to grow and be right in the head when they's grown up. He needs it so he can be the man he's supposed to be." I looked over at Ray and he was still a little boy, only now he was about eight or nine and he'd been whipped with a cat-o'-nine-tails and couldn't get to the shed, and he was peeing all over his bed.
"Can you hear me, Mr. Pruitt?" I said. "See what you done? Ray can't get to the shed. He's done peed all over his covers." And I looked up and Ray was rolling those covers into a ball and trying to hide them under the bed and his daddy was putting his overhauls on in another room and he come in and found Ray rolling up those smelly covers and he started smacking little Ray so hard he went flying into the wall. Now his face was all bloody. Ray rubbed it with the back of his hand, but before he could check to see how bad he wa
s bleeding, Mr. Pruitt punched him right in the face with his fist. "Please, Pa," Ray said. But his pa never listened. He just beat Ray 'til he couldn't stand. I looked closer and I saw Ray's mama walk to another room and sit down in a rocking chair. She rocked and rocked. All the time little Ray was being beat she rocked and rocked. What would make a mama just sit and rock when that was going on? Then I looked into Ray's mama's eyes while she sat in that rocking chair and I seen them same beatings come down on her body, only she was a much younger woman then, real pretty with long dark curls. Ray was crawling at her feet and Melvin was in a highchair. Her tummy was all swelled up with another baby growing inside. I seen Mr. Pruitt come at her with his fists. And he hit her 'til she fell down. Then he picked her up, carried her outside, and throwed her down the cellar steps. I looked into that black hole of a cellar and heard her scream all the way to the bottom. The next time I looked, her eyes was black and her tummy wasn't swollen up with a baby no more.
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