by Susan Kohler
“It may be a cliché but there is no accounting for taste,” Lanie said coldly. “But keep your great big clumsy hands off of me, if you please.”
“And if I don’t please?” Frank almost reached for her without knowing why.
Lanie sputtered, too irate to speak.
“Who’s that across the patio?” Kate asked. “I just know her name is Lanie.”
“Lanie McPherson. She’s a friend of Jack’s from work. Actually, she just bought into the company and so now she’s his business partner,” Laura said. Anticipating Kate’s next question she continued, “She’s single but she has a nine-year-old daughter. She’s a fighter. She had been getting a hard time from some of the male landscape architects at the office, so she recently decided to buy into the company. Some of the jerks are going to be real surprised to find out that she’s a partner now. Anyway, she’s tough enough to fight back.”
“Interesting solution to sexual harassment, just buy into the company. It puts her in a position not only to help herself, but also other women in the company. She looks perfect to me,” Kate said grinning.
“And they met without our interference,” Laura said, returning Kate’s grin. “He can’t even blame us.”
“She’ll give him a hard time,” Kate said softly. “A real hard time.”
They looked at each other, gave each other a high-five and said in unison, “Perfect!”
Bob, Kate’s lover, and Laura’s husband, Jack, exchanged long-suffering sighs. “Another one bites the dust,” Bob said, watching Kate and Laura.
“Poor fool’s going to go down fighting all the way,” Jack replied, looking over at Frank. “He won’t give in without a struggle like you did.”
“I was ambushed,” Bob replied unabashed. “Kate was naked when we met and she got my interest, um, aroused without any effort.” Bob had met Kate at a nude beach, not realizing that Laura had already hired her to work in his accounting department. A coincidence that had made their first day of working together very interesting, to say the least.
“Let’s go break up the fight and see if we can rescue her dress. It would have to be white linen,” Laura sighed. “It really is a shame, that is one beautiful dress but who wears white linen to a barbecue?”
“It was a beautiful dress,” Kate said regretfully. “Laura, did you tell her it was a barbecue?”
“No, when I invited her, I hadn’t really planned this out. I think I mentioned cocktails,” Laura admitted.
She and Kate left their men, went over to interrupt the fight, and separated the combatants.
“Frank, I see you’ve met Lanie McPherson. She’s a partner in Jack’s landscaping business. Lanie, this is Frank Morgan. Frank is the head of regional sales with the same company I work for, Lassen-McRoe.”
“Pleased to meet you.” Frank’s tight tone implied he was anything but pleased.
“Likewise.” Lanie choked out the single word.
“Come on Lanie, let me get you something else to wear,” Laura offered.
“No thanks, Laura,” Lanie tried to escape, “I think I’ll just go home.”
“I really wish you’d stay but even if you leave, you don’t want to leave in that dress. I’ll take care of the dress before that stain sets in,” Laura offered again. “Come on.”
Laura took Lanie upstairs and loaned her a very sexy sundress with a low-cut halter-top, bare back and swirling skirt. The dress was a riot of colors; it had flowers of fuchsia, yellow, and peach, and bright green leaves on a black background. Laura took Lanie’s white dress into the master bath and gently blotted up as much of the stain as she could from the linen dress.
“My dry cleaner does wonders; I’ll drop it off for you tomorrow since I already have some things I need to get done. I noticed you met Frank,” Laura said casually as she tried to get the worst of the stain out of Lanie’s dress.
“Laura, I know your reputation as a matchmaker so don’t even think of it. The man’s a clumsy clod and a bad-tempered creep. He was touching me!” Lanie fumed and stomped around the room. “I mean, okay, he’s really good-looking, but he’s a jerk! He ruined my new white dress and never even thought about giving me an apology.”
“Probably because you slapped him before he had a chance to apologize,” Laura muttered. She continued, “Okay, okay, I’ll find someone else for him. Frank is a very special guy. He’s the kind of guy that will always be exasperating, and yet somehow worth it to a woman who loved him. A woman would never be bored around him. In fact, she’d have to be really quick-witted and fast on her feet to even keep up with him. I should have known that he’d be all wrong for you.” She watched Lanie’s face as the subtle insult landed. “I know lots of nice women who would really love Frank. Some of them are even very beautiful. I wouldn’t want to force you to fall in love with him.”
“No way, Jose!” Lanie laughed sharply and stalked out of the room. “I refuse to be conned like that. I won’t rise to the challenge. I won’t take the bait.”
“Damn! You would have to be smart enough to see right through me,” Laura muttered under her breath.
Lanie would have been even more furious if she had known that at the same moment Kate was issuing another challenge.
Downstairs, Kate had Frank cornered. “Why did Lanie slap you?”
“Well after the drink got spilled--” Frank began.
“After you spilled it on her,” Kate countered.
“Whatever. Anyway, after it happened, I reacted purely on instinct.” Frank looked sheepish.
“What did you do?” Kate asked in the same tone she used on her small son. “Exactly.”
“I tried to wipe it off.” Frank shrugged. “That’s all.”
Kate remembered the bright red stain all over Lanie’s breast. “You didn’t.”
“I did,” Frank admitted. “It really was an instinctive reaction.”
“But I’ll bet you enjoyed it.” Kate arched a brow at her friend.
“Well, she has got nice firm, round, br--, uh.” Frank realized that he should shut up.
“I’ve got the general idea. So? What do you think? Do you think you could tame that shrew?” Kate threw out the challenge.
“Piece of cake.” Frank picked up a cupcake and bit into it dramatically, then swallowed before continuing, “But why would I want to?”
“Because she’s very smart, lively, and good-looking. And she knows how to stand up for herself. You may have noticed that she’s even got, um, great breasts.” Kate listed her qualities. “But you couldn’t handle her, never in a million years. I’d bet on it.”
“What do you mean you’d bet on it?” Frank was wary.
“I’d bet that you couldn’t make Lanie fall in love with you even if you tried. She hates you,” Kate challenged.
“What are you trying to do? Why would you try to get me to make a bet like that with you?” Frank was suspicious.
“Well, it would be a bet I couldn’t lose.” Kate eyed him speculatively. “You’d never get the girl, I mean, woman.”
“But I don’t want the girl, woman, whoever. Kate, listen close, in words of one syllable: I do not want the girl. Even I need more than a pair of nice breasts and gorgeous red hair. I have to at least like a woman. So sorry, I don’t want to make a bet with you. Especially if in order to win the bet I’d have to win the girl, and I don’t even like her, let alone want her.” Frank was almost incoherent and practically shouting at Kate. “What kind of guy do you think I am? What kind of woman bets on people anyway?”
“Methinks thou doest protest too much.” She shot back, glancing down at his slacks pointedly. “You’re lying, she’s got your interest aroused. I’m going to change your name from Petruchio to Pinocchio.”
“Ouch! I’m wounded.” Frank felt himself sinking into a quagmire, a trap. “If I won’t make a bet with you, what’s next? Will you dare me?”
“I’ll even double dare you.” She smiled. “Just think about all the interesting things I’ve dared
you to do in some of our infamous office Truth or Dare games.”
“Not a double dare! Oh no!” He flushed remembering some of the dares he had taken. “I really should tell Bob what happens in the office when he’s not there.”
Kate just smiled at him unwaveringly, one eyebrow raised. Frank met her calm, steady gaze for several long moments before he clutched at his chest, finally relenting and admitting defeat. “Okay, I’ll take the bet. What are the terms?”
“Loser buys winner lunch once a week for a year,” Kate said.
“And what exactly are we betting I can do? Date her? Take her to bed? What?” Frank begged clarification.
“I’m shocked! Any halfway decent man can get a woman to go out to dinner at least once, and I would never, ever bet on a lady’s virtue. No, I bet that within one year, you and Lanie will not be married to each other,” Kate challenged. “Happily.”
“But why don’t I just give up and buy you lunch every week? I’d rather treat you once a week than be married to that, that . . .” Frank was puzzled.
“Because sooner or later, you competitive macho man, you’ll try to win the bet. Sooner or later, you’ll realize that you love a challenge and that your pride won’t let you give up without a fight. Sooner or later, you’ll realize that she intrigues you and drives you crazy. When that happens, I’ll have you right where I want you, married to her. You’ll be unsettled, upset and never bored, but very, very happy. And I’ll treat you to lunch once a week for a year.” Kate held out her hand. “Bet?”
“Bet,” Frank said, clasping her hand and feeling trapped. He tried one last ploy, “Unless I could bet against myself?”
“No way. You already shook hands on it.” She laughed and looked around for Bob. “You’re done for, and my work here is finished. I’m gonna grab my old man and blow this popsicle stand.”
Lanie reappeared downstairs and Frank walked over to her. “I really want to apologize.”
He held out his hand, at the same time looking her over and noticing things he had missed at the previous encounter. She’s really good-looking, he thought, short with a knockout figure, red hair, green eyes, great complexion, I may be in trouble, big trouble.
“For what?” Lanie shot back. “Pouring a drink all over my new dress or feeling me up?”
“For both, accidentally spilling a drink on you and instinctively reaching out to blot it up without realizing I was touching your breast,” he replied.
“I’ll admit you’ve got great breasts but come on, admit it, you know I really wasn’t trying anything. I do not,” he emphasized, putting his foot in his mouth again, “have to resort to trickery and childish pranks to touch a woman.” He knew he’d made a mistake as soon as he’d said the words.
“You’d have to resort to much more than pranks and trickery to touch this woman,” she retorted tersely.
“I’ve already touched you.” He raised his voice.
“Shut up you cretin!” she yelled back. “There are too many people around.”
“Lanie, relax,” Frank said in a calmer, softer tone. “Nobody cares about our business.”
“I care, you stupid jerk.” Lanie stomped off totally infuriated, muttering to herself. “I care.”
She found her purse and headed for the door still muttering, “I definitely care, just not about him.”
Laura appeared at Frank’s side. “Aren’t you going after her?”
“Why?” Frank was puzzled.
“To really apologize to her, to get to know her, to win the bet, because you’re intrigued. Go ahead. Pick a reason, any reason. Just go get her.” Laura walked off.
Almost against his own will, Frank headed for the front door. He walked outside and looked around for Lanie. He caught sight of her just in time to see her get into her car.
Chapter Two
Lanie was still fuming as she got into her battered gray Plymouth Reliant. Muttering to herself, she paused and took a few deep breaths trying to calm herself down before fastening her seat belt, then turned the key and tried to start the engine. She was so upset that she flooded the engine. She sat there for a minute, her temper still simmering on high, before trying to start it again. This time the engine turned over and the car started.
She took a few deep breaths, still wanting to settle her nerves before she put the car in gear. Those deep breaths didn’t help; she was still far too angry and tense for her own good. She checked her side mirror but it was broken. Damn! When had that happened? She looked over her shoulder, although it was a little hard for her to see out the back of the car because she had so much of her landscaping equipment piled in it. She put the car in reverse and backed up, very slowly.
Maybe it happened because she was still so upset, or maybe it was because the cars were packed in so tightly, maybe it was even because she was distracted by Frank running towards the car and calling out her name. She never knew exactly why it happened, all she knew is that she heard a grinding sound as soon as she moved her car trying to get it out from the jumble of cars parked randomly in the small grassy area.
She immediately stopped the car. For a moment she leaned her forehead against the steering wheel before she took a deep breath and got out. She walked around to the passenger side of her car to check out the damage, only to be met by an extremely irate man. A tall, blond man with angry, brown eyes: Frank.
“You little idiot!” he stormed, just barely noticing exactly who he was yelling at. “What did you want, revenge? You’ve sure got it. You wrecked my car, my new car!”
“I’m sorry.” Lanie looked at his car, a shiny new blue Honda Accord. Then she looked up at him, her irritation and embarrassment warring with a sense of guilt inside her. “I’m really a very good driver. I never have accidents.”
“You just did,” Frank pointed out with fire in his eyes. “Unless you did that on purpose.”
“Really, I’m very sorry.” She took a deep breath and tried not to think about her already high insurance rates. Her head was down as she admitted softly, “It’s all my fault. Of course, I’ll pay to have it fixed. Just get an estimate or two and I’ll take care of it.”
Once again, she felt that sudden jolt as she raised her head and met his eyes. She noticed that he had a stunned expression on his face. “Really Frank, I’ve never. . . Is the damage very bad?”
“Bad enough,” Frank grumbled. Finally seeing the very real dismay and regret in her face he relented slightly. “Actually, it’s just a small dent and a scratch. Do you have insurance?”
“Of course I have insurance!” she bristled. “What kind of idiot do you think I am?”
“A beautiful one,” Frank answered absently.
He had, with all single-mindedness of a man who’s just seen his new car scratched, forgotten completely about everything else. He caught himself and realized what he’d said just in time.
“I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I don’t mean you’re any kind of idiot at all, just a very beautiful woman,” he amended quickly, “and a very bad driver.”
“I am not a bad driver,” Lanie carefully enunciated. Totally exasperated she continued, “And I don’t see what difference it makes if a creep like you thinks I’m beautiful or not. I could care less. Listen, you jerk, here’s what you do: take my phone number, call me later and get my insurance information, give me the amount of the repair estimates, and then forget you ever knew my number.”
“Hey spitfire! Where do you get off calling me names? I’m the injured party here! I didn’t hit your car; you hit mine. I wasn’t the one trying to back out of a tight space with a broken side mirror and my rear window so blocked up with junk that I couldn’t see where I’m going. You’re not the victim here, I am!” Frank was exasperated himself.
“Well, it makes a pleasant change of pace, don’t you think?” Lanie said snidely. “After all, turn about is fair play. Besides, that side mirror wasn’t broken when I got here. That happened while I was inside attending the party.”
Lanie never noticed the stunned and guilty expression on Frank’s face. She handed him a piece of paper, got back into her car and carefully maneuvered out of the small area. She stuck her hand out and gestured rudely at Frank, the old one fingered salute, before she drove away.
Laura came over to stand by Frank.
“Good work.” She whispered in his ear, “You already have her phone number. She really seems to hate you but so what? We wouldn’t want the bet to be too easy.”
“I definitely do not want to win this bet.” He scowled, remembering the sharp jolt that seemed to go through him every time his eyes met Lanie’s. “That’s not just a woman, that’s just over five feet of pure trouble on two feet. She flipped me off!”
“Yes, Frank,” Laura said sagely, as she started to walk away, “you do want to win the bet.” She turned back and said, “I saw the sparks fly when your eyes met, you know. It made the air sizzle. I thought for a minute there was going to be a summer lightning storm.”
“You’re nuts. Crazy. Bonkers,” Frank yelled at her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I may be crazy but I’m right,” she called back. “I know I’m right. I recognize the symptoms all too well. Remember, Jack makes me sizzle, too.”
Lanie got home only to be met by Tina, who instantly questioned her about why she came home wearing a different dress than the one she had on when she left.
“Please tell me something exciting and sexy happened to get you out of the white dress,” Tina begged hopefully. “Tell me you did something even slightly depraved.”
“I’m sorry Tina, but I just can’t. The truth isn’t very exciting at all. Some creep at the party spilled a drink on me. The idiot just ran into me with a bloody Mary in his hand. Then the big nitwit blamed me for spilling his drink all over the front of my dress.” She fumed, pacing around her small, neat living room. “He even tried to feel me up while he was pretending to wipe off the drink. Then he tried to excuse himself by saying I had nice breasts. To top it all off, he was parked so close to my car that I couldn’t possibly get my car out without bumping his. It was just a little scratch but it was a brand new car, so he’ll probably sue my pants off!”