Who's Taming Who?

by Susan Kohler

  As she started to say something, a protest perhaps, Frank brushed his fingers over her mouth softly, tracing her lips with his forefinger.

  “Let’s have at least one romantic dance before we start arguing. Please,” he said softly. “We can start a new tradition.”

  Her breath seemed to stick in her throat so she only nodded. She snuggled against him as they moved to the slow, romantic music. They managed two full songs before the haze cleared and they began to make small talk.

  They continued to dance as they discussed the party. “Frank, do you know what the occasion is? This is no ordinary family reunion.”

  “I’m hoping for Kate’s sake that Bob means to propose and turn this into an engagement party,” he told her. “I tried to sound him out for Kate but he knew I was spying.”

  “Well, I talked to Kate about it,” Lanie said, “and if he doesn’t ask her to marry him, she’ll ask him to marry her.”

  “Good for her!” Frank grinned. “She’s loved him from the moment they met.”

  “It must be wonderful to love and be loved like that.” Lanie sounded dreamy.

  “It is,” Frank agreed, “if you open yourself up to that kind of love. That means being willing to risk heartache.”

  “I’m willing to risk heartache,” Lanie defended herself, “for myself, but not for Cassie.”

  “I can understand how that would worry you,” Frank swung her around to the music, “but it can’t stop you from living.”

  “Do you think I use Cassie to close myself off from life?” Lanie quizzed. “Is that what you mean?”

  “I’m not sure. To be truthful, I don’t think anyone can answer that question for you.” Frank murmured, “But I think it’s possible. It’s something to consider.”

  “Okay, I’ll think about it,” Lanie agreed. “Meanwhile, would you like to meet Cassie?”

  “Yes, I would, very much.” Frank smiled at her. “I saw you as you entered the room with her, she looked beautiful. You, by the way are heart stopping, breathtaking, and all that jazz.”

  “Thank you, kind sir.” Lanie grinned. “You’re not looking too bad yourself.”

  They walked to the kid’s room to get Cassie. She greeted them excitedly. “Mommy, they have puppies!”

  She gently held a soft furry Boston Terrier puppy in her hands. It squirmed and made soft puppy sounds. Lanie admired the little puppy for a moment before she had Cassie put it back with its mother.

  Together the three of them walked over to an empty table at the far end of the room. They sat and talked together. Frank, Lanie noticed, was very good with Cassie. He didn’t talk down to her like she was a subhuman instead of a child. He also didn’t try too hard by going out of his way to ingratiate himself with her. It was a good thing, too. Cassie was sharp; she would have spotted any artificial attempts at friendship in a minute.

  Finally Cassie asked, “Are you the man who spilled tomato juice all over Mommy’s white linen dress?”

  “Yes, I am,” Frank admitted. “It was an accident.”

  “Was it really?” Cassie asked wide-eyed. “Aunt Tina said so but Mommy said you were only trying to feel her up. Whatever that means.”

  “Your Aunt was right,” Frank said slowly, “but when I tried to blot up the tomato juice, I touched your Mommy where I shouldn’t have. Accidentally, it wasn’t on purpose.”

  “That makes sense to me,” Cassie decided. “After all, you couldn’t control where the juice went.”

  “I’m glad you understand because your Mommy didn’t.” Frank grinned at the girl. “She was very mad at me.”

  “She was just upset.” Cassie explained, “That was a new dress. She said it cost an arm and a leg.”

  “I’m sorry I got so mad at you, Frank,” Lanie said softly.

  “Forget it,” Frank turned to smile at her, “anyone would have been upset.”

  “But still-” Lanie began, but she was stopped by Bob who was at the bandstand making an announcement.

  “Excuse me, everybody. May I have your attention?” Bob waited for the guests to settle down and look up at him. “I have two things to tell you: The first one probably won’t surprise any of you. Kate has accepted my proposal of marriage.” He paused for a long moment to let the group react with catcalls, applause and good wishes. “Wait! There’s more.” He held up his hand to stop the guests from rushing up to the stage to congratulate them.

  Bob went back to the microphone. “The second announcement may actually surprise you. It surprised Kate.” He grinned at Kate who gave him a companionable but slightly off-kilter grin in return. “The second announcement is that the wedding is going to take place right here and now. Jeff, I need you to act as my Best Man.”

  There was a surprised murmur from all of the party guests. The hotel staff got busy opening a partition and expanding the banquet room, revealing that it had another dais surrounded by flowers. They had chairs lined up in front of the dais. There was an aisle down the center of the group of chairs with a long red carpet. Stretching from the first row to the last, the chairs lining the aisle had a long garland of white ribbons and pale roses that matched Kate’s dress.

  Everyone stared in amazement as they saw the banquet staff wheel over a small table near the buffet. It contained a four-tiered wedding cake with forks and plates. The guests were invited to seat themselves.

  “Did you know anything about this?” Lanie asked Frank.

  “I didn’t have a hint.” Frank pointed out, “Look at Bob’s brother Jeff, the Best Man, even he’s in a state of shock.”

  “Kate must be thrilled,” Lanie said, smiling widely.

  “Kate looks like she’s in shell shock.” Frank laughed.

  It was a beautiful wedding, both lovely and touching. There was even quite a bit of humor mixed in with the formality. Not only did the two little flower girls pelt the wedding guests with rose petals, but Laura, as the Matron of Honor and the Best Man each had an adult Boston Terrier beside them. The Best Man’s dog was sporting a white collar and a black tie, and Laura’s dog had roses fastened to her collar.

  Kate was radiant in her soft tangerine dress with its full chiffon skirt and beaded bodice. Her father, resplendent in a formal tuxedo, walked beside her up the aisle.

  “Dearly beloved,” the Minister began, “I see we have the whole family here, including the four-legged members of the family, and friends. We have gathered together . . .”

  It was touching and beautiful. As they partied afterwards, Lanie and Frank both got a little tipsy on the champagne. During the reception, Kate and Bob made their way around the room. When they got to the table with Lanie, Frank and Cassie, they stopped to talk.

  “Cassie, you’re just the person I wanted to see,” Kate said. “I’d really like someone to hold this dog for me. In fact, if you want, you can take her back to the room where the kids are. We have the rest of the puppies in there. They’re also serving a special wedding cake in there.”

  “Mommy, can I go?” Cassie asked as she held the leash very carefully. “I want to play with the puppies again.”

  “Yes, love,” Lanie told her daughter, “have fun.”

  Lanie watched for a minute as her daughter left before she turned to hug Kate. “Congratulations!”

  “Thanks,” Kate said, tears in her eyes.

  Lanie and Frank both took turns hugging and congratulating Bob before he left. He had to find someone special and ask her to dance. After he left, Kate explained, “He wants to dance with Ida, my former mother-in-law. It’s his way of letting her know that she is still part of this family.”

  “That’s so sweet,” Lanie said, “and very thoughtful. This wedding however was more than thoughtful, it was stunning. He really planned this whole thing before even proposing? You really didn’t know anything about it?”

  “Not a clue,” Kate said. “I should have though.”

  “Why, Kate?” Frank inquired.

  “Because, after our houses were vandalized, re
member Frank?” At his nod she continued, “Bob asked me about my wedding with Joe.” She said thoughtfully, “I told him the planning drove me crazy and took some of the fun out of the day because I was so scared something would go wrong. I wanted everything to be perfect. That handsome devil gave me just what I wanted, a beautiful wedding with no stressful planning!”

  “It took a lot of nerve on his part, planning and setting all of this up when he hadn’t even asked you to marry him,” Lanie said softly.

  “It’s called love, Lanie, give it a chance.” Kate kissed her cheek. “I’d better go mingle or else they’ll start demanding we have one of those dreary receiving lines.”

  Kate hugged and kissed Frank and whispered rather carelessly, “You’re winning.”

  “What did that mean?” Lanie asked.

  “Oh, nothing.” Frank was lying and Lanie saw it the moment the words were out of his mouth.

  A short time later, near the punch bowl, the seemingly inevitable happened. One of the many children at the party bumped into Frank, who sidestepped quickly but bumped into Lanie, spilling champagne down the front of her dress. Frank grabbed a handful of napkins and started to blot Lanie’s dress but he took one look at her face and silently handed her the napkins.

  Finally he spoke. “Sorry. Why aren’t you yelling at me?”

  Lanie smiled at him. “For one thing, it wasn’t your fault. Plus, I had the dress treated with a protective coating against stains.”

  Just then, Laura and her slightly tipsy husband, Jack came over. Jack saw the wet spot on the front of Lanie’s dress and said, “My God! Frank, if you keep that up, you’ll never win the bet.”

  It was the second reference to winning she’d heard, and Lanie wasn’t a stupid woman. “What bet?”

  “Lanie, please don’t get upset, it was only a joke.” Laura tried to calm the situation. “Jack just has a big mouth, which is going to cost him plenty when we get home.”

  “Leave us please,” Frank said to Laura and Jack.

  After they left, Frank took Lanie by the arm and firmly led her out the side doors and into a garden. He found a private spot. He sat on a bench and pulled her down beside him.

  “It was just a trick Kate played on me, to get me to take a second look at you,” Frank explained. “I was angry when we met, and she bet me that I couldn’t win you.”

  “Win me how?” Lanie asked, suspicion and incipient wrath warred within her. “What was the wager?” Were you just supposed to date me or did you have to get me in bed? What?”

  “It was to marry you,” Frank said, exasperated. “We would never bet on bedding you, that would be rotten!”

  “And what would you have won?” Lanie asked very quietly.

  “Lunch once a week for a year,” Frank admitted.

  “And what do you think you’re going to get now,” Lanie asked.

  “I think I’m going to get my head handed to me on a platter,” Frank said, almost whining. “And it’s not fair, that bet didn’t mean anything. It was just a way for Kate to get me to notice you. Believe me Lanie, if I wasn’t really interested in you, I wouldn’t be around you.”

  “Believe you?” Lanie shrieked, and the fight was on. “You’re a lowlife cad who bets on a woman’s future, why should I believe you?”

  They argued back and forth for several minutes before Frank scored a direct hit to her ego. “Lanie, you’re being ridiculous! Do you really think I would marry a woman just so that Kate would buy my lunch once a week? I know you don’t! You’re just a coward who’s using this bet to keep me at a distance. I was finally getting close to you and that has you in a panic.”

  “Coward! In a panic, am I?” She was so angry she was developing a Scottish burr, even though she was third generation American. “Well Frank, let me just say this in very simple words even you can understand. I don’t want to see you, I don’t want you to call me, email me or contact me in any way. Just leave me alone. Got it?”

  She knew she was too angry to drive and she’d had quite a bit of champagne too, so she stormed off to the kid’s room, retrieved Cassie, called a cab and went home. When she got home, she called Tina and made arrangements for her to go to the hotel and get her car. It was only about half an hour before Tina showed up at her doorstep to get her car keys. Tina left a male friend sitting in his car while she pried the whole story out of Lanie before leaving to pick up the car.

  Tina’s parting shot as she left was, “Who does he think he is anyway? Betting on you, who does he think you are, Secretariat?”

  Chapter Five

  As soon as he got to work the next day, Frank cornered Laura in her office. It was not a good day to bother her. She was utterly beleaguered and almost hidden completely by a very tall stack of reports and various computer printouts.

  “Hey kid, I need your help.” Frank leaned in her door; he couldn’t help grinning at her expression.

  For once, Laura didn’t seem the least bit glad to see him. Her usual warm smile and sunny disposition were noticeably lacking.

  “Frank, if it’s not business, call me at home later, please,” she said tiredly but firmly before she looked up with a wan smile. “With Bob and Kate both gone, I have two brand new temps here. And of course those temps need more supervision than I have time to give them, so I have all the work I can possibly handle. Now I know why two people from one office should never marry each other, the honeymoon is hell on the rest of the staff.”

  “I’m surprised Bob didn’t have everything covered before he left,” Frank said. “Kate didn’t know they’d be gone, but he did.”

  “I think he tried to get everything done that he could,” Laura said, “but there’s some jerk at corporate who requested the financial reports from the last quarter a full week early. I tried to reason with him but he wouldn’t even listen.”

  “Is there anything I can do to help?” he offered. “I have a lot of my own work to do today but you know I’ll do anything I can to help you. Let me call the jerk and see if I can reason with him.”

  “Hey! In spite of reports to the contrary, you can take a hint!” She laughed at him and gave him the name of the jerk.

  He left her office only to return a short time later. “The jerk wouldn’t budge. I think he’s jealous because he never had a honeymoon.”

  “Couldn’t he get off for it?”

  “No. He just couldn’t find anyone stupid enough to marry him,” Frank quipped. “Is there anything else I can do to help?

  “There sure is.” She grinned as she handed him a large stack of papers. “You can start on the past due Receivables. Make sure they’re all billed, and that the bills are sent out. If there are any current Receivables in that bunch, just file them. Get one of the temps to help you. Then, call any of these that are over thirty days late and politely demand payment. If they are over 90 days late, don’t be quite so polite. Document all your calls, and mail letters restating any payment agreement you reach with any of their accounting managers or controllers. Then make me an aging report so that I can follow it all up. Got it?”

  “Got it. But before I get to work, can you give me an idea on how to proceed with Lanie? Any idea at all?” He grinned. “The last time I saw Lanie at the wedding she told to me, and I quote: ‘I don’t want to see you, I don’t want you to call me, just leave me alone’ in those exact words.”

  “So?” Laura said without looking up from her paperwork. “Do not let her see you and do not call her, but definitely, and I mean definitely, do not leave her alone.”

  “So what should I do?” Frank tried to bring the conversation back to the main point. “What’s my next step?”

  “I don’t know. Let me brainstorm out loud. You could write her, maybe send her flowers and gifts.”

  “Gifts?” Frank was surprised. “What kinds of gifts?”

  “Nothing expensive or fancy. Just send her little gifts, trinkets and cute things, use your sense of humor more than your wallet.” Laura paused, thinking before s
he continued, “Just don’t send her anything crude or insulting.”

  “Would I do that?” Frank yelped.

  “Sure you would, but don’t. Do whatever you can think of to intrigue her and keep her a little off balance, and drive her just a little crazy.” Laura thought for another minute. “Maybe what Lanie needs is a secret admirer.”

  “I see two problems: One, a secret admirer is too obvious, she’d guess it was me in a second. She’s not stupid.” Frank grimaced. “And two, it’s corny, very corny, and I am a very suave and sophisticated kind of guy, macho too.” He pointed at his chest and winked lecherously at her. “It’s not my style and you know it, Babe.”

  “Yeah sure, Frank.” Laura barely managed to avoid laughing out loud. “Suave and sophisticated, macho. Those are the very words I think of every time I see you.”

  “You should,” Frank said with mock indignity.

  Frank took his stack of papers and left in a huff when Laura finally started to laugh herself sick. He asked one of the temps to help him, found an empty cubicle, and got to work. Laura’s suggestions were never far from his mind the whole day. He never knew that Laura got a phone call from Kate later that day, and he definitely never knew exactly how much of the conversation revolved around Lanie and him.

  “A secret admirer, umm, clever idea, is he going to do it?” Kate asked, interested.

  “I don’t think so,” Laura told her sounding disappointed. “He thinks it’s too obvious and much too corny for a suave, sophisticated and macho kind of guy like him. His words, not mine.”

  “I wonder what Frank would do if Lanie had another secret admirer?” Kate queried.

  “Another secret admirer?” Laura said, intrigued.

  “Yes, another secret admirer. One who wasn’t him?” Kate mused, then she giggled. “I’ve got to go, Laura, something’s come up.”

  “I’ll bet you dollars to a donut it’s something on Bob.” Laura laughed. “I’ve had a great honeymoon, too.”

  “You’d win the dollars.” Kate hung up.

  Just about three days after the wedding, Lanie found an envelope addressed to her on the front seat of her truck as she left for work. Opening it, she found a note that read: