by J. R. Bonham
Vera made sympathetic sounds. There was very little she felt she could say that hadn’t already been said.
“Anyway, thank you so much for caring. I really do mean that and please thank John too. I shall be OK.” Jan hoped that she had convinced her sister-in-law.
“OK then,” said Vera, not quite believing what she was hearing. “Just to let you know – Nat had a boy. Another grandson for us, that makes four!”
“Oh, I’m so pleased for you. Please tell her, many congratulations, from me.”
“I will, thank you. You take care. I’ll ring you again or maybe John will next time. Bye.”
Jan actually did feel a little better after talking to Vera and knowing that someone cared.
‘Right Mrs Mills. Get off your bum and do something constructive. Yes, I will, I promise. I will make a proper shopping list first and then go to the shops, and then come home and cook some food. For me. Why cook just for me? It’s not worth it. I’m not worth it. I’m used to cooking for more than one! I don’t know what to do. It’s not worth cooking for one. I’ll get some ready meals in. Meals for one. Oh no. I’m on my own. I want to scream! I wish I was dead!’
Vera got off the phone and relayed to John everything that had been said.
“Oh, she’s made of strong stuff, my sister!”
“Well, I don’t think so,” Vera insisted. “She might come across as strong to everyone, but I think I can see through it. She’s never been on her own before, don’t forget.”
“Neither have I,” John replied.
“Well, you’re not alone now, are you? Your sister is and I think she needs our help.”
“What do you suggest?” he asked.
“Well, for a start, her kids ought to know how low she is right now. Jan thinks they don’t care. They have been quite foul to her over the years, haven’t they? All she did was leave her husband, not her children. And they have never forgiven her, for some reason. I can’t understand why they’ve been like they have. Surely now is the time for a reconciliation between them,” Vera suggested.
“There’s been too much water under the bridge for a reconciliation, I reckon.”
“But we could try and be a go-between to help them. There needs to be a catalyst.”
“I guess you’re right. I’ll start the ball rolling by talking to Louise,” John decided.
After Jan had put the phone down after talking to Vera, the doorbell rang. ‘Oh God, No! I’m too much of a mess to see anyone.’ She looked out of the window and saw Bill looking towards her front door and realised it must be Dee at the door. ‘They must know I’m in, so I shall just have to bite the bullet and answer it even though I must look a right mess – here goes.’
“Hi Dee…” she said brightly, but she was kidding no one. She was brushed aside by Dee before she could say anything else. Dee had three bags of shopping which she proceeded to take into the kitchen and unpack.
“There’s no need to say anything and I’m sorry if I’ve barged in and taken over but you haven’t left the house in ages – so I know you must be short of food.”
‘Why does everyone want me to eat? Hopefully, Dee didn’t see me go to the shop a few nights ago. I can’t admit I’ve been out and bought stuff already, although what I bought won’t last much longer, I guess.’
“I can’t thank you enough, Dee. How much do I owe you for the shopping?”
“We can sort that out another time. It’s important that you get some food inside you – now! Shall I cook you something? Or make you a sandwich. I’ve brought bread, soup, veg, lots of fruit, milk, tea, coffee, cold meat, cheese and salad stuff in case you didn’t feel like cooking. I hope this lot will help you keep your strength up. Shall I put the kettle on?” Dee started towards the kettle.
‘How can I stop you?’
“Tea or coffee?”
“Oh, you’re too kind, thank you so very much. How can I ever repay you? Yes, I’ll have some coffee thanks.”
“No problem. Milk and sugar?”
“Yes, thanks.” ‘I must look a right mess, what must she think. Is she going to stay for coffee? Yes, it looks like two cups are coming out of the cupboard! Oh well, that is kind of her, I must be grateful.’
“Sandwich? Cheese or ham?” asked Dee.
‘She really is taking over!’
“Cheese, please. There really isn’t any need.”
“Look, we’ve known each other long enough.” Dee put her arms around Jan, and Jan sobbed softly into her bosom. “There, there. Let it all out.”
Jan actually did feel a little better after that. She pulled herself together and they sat in the kitchen and drank the coffee. Jan chomped into her sandwich greedily.
“I didn’t realise how hungry I was,” she said, and Dee understood completely.
“I must go and make Bill’s supper now. I’m just sorry I left you so long. Bill said it wasn’t right to come over so soon, but men aren’t at all practical are they?”
“No,” Jan smiled, and let Dee out of the front door. “Thank you again, and see you soon.”
Chapter 59
“Just to let you know, your mother has recently been widowed,” John said to Louise on the telephone.
“Oh, what a shame!” she said sarcastically and rather too quickly.
“There’s no need to be like that. Have you no compassion?” John was shocked at her reaction. “Don’t you think you could come to some sort of reconciliation with her now? I know you’ve always said that while Mike was in your mother’s life, there was no chance of her ever getting back with you and Steven. I don’t know why and I don’t want to know your reasoning for this – or even if there ever was any reason on your part. I think there might have been some sort of loyalty towards your father, but he’s been happy for years now with his second wife. I think that he’s probably happier with her than he ever was with your mother. He has her to thank for that so you should too, don’t you think?”
“It’s got nothing to do with Dad. Yes, he’s happy now. I don’t quite know what you want me to do exactly. There is absolutely nothing I want to know about my mother. She’s a bitch, surely you know that.” John chose to ignore that remark.
“I know that she’s very lonely right now. Don’t you care?” He was trying to keep as calm as possible in case he said something he shouldn’t.
“Not really. She’s had nothing to do with us for the last twenty odd years, so it shows that she doesn’t care about us.”
“I don’t think that’s quite true, is it? She told me she used to write to you and send you cards and presents until she was blue in the face. She got nothing back from you, so she gave up trying in the end.” He was starting to get annoyed with his niece.
“Yes, she used to write poison-pen letters to us! Then she had the gall to write to my son on his 17th birthday and with a cheque for £50! The cheek of it!”
“Oh, that was nice of her. And did he reply to thank her?”
“No! I sent it back to her with a letter from me saying if she harassed my son again I would take legal advice,” Louise spat.
“What? Legal advice! Why is that? She’s your mother, for God’s sake. What has she ever done to you? I really don’t understand why you’re being so unreasonable and disagreeable.” He also knew the whole story about letters that Jan had written to her children in the past, usually very pleasant letters. She had only ever written one spiteful letter to Louise. This was after she had been very scathing to her mother on the phone one day. Jan had rung Louise, but Louise didn’t want to speak to her mother – so she was really nasty to her. In retaliation, Jan took it upon herself to write Louise a letter. It was probably a mistake to put it all in writing, but she felt it was easier to write it down than to speak it. After that, Louise convinced herself that all letters she received from her mother were ‘poison pen’ letters. Nothing was g
oing to persuade her views otherwise.
“’Cos she’s a bitch! Leaving us high and dry, knowing her husband was so ill.”
“And is he better now? What did he have?” John asked, even though he knew the answer.
“He’s epileptic. Didn’t you know that?” John knew much more than he was letting on. He was playing the waiting game. Waiting for Louise to make a mistake when he would move in for the kill. Louise continued. “The vows they made were ‘in sickness and in health’! So, he became epileptic and the bitch left him!”
“Yes, he’s epileptic and has been for a very long time. She left him many years after he was diagnosed. Is that a reason for your mother not to be happy? I do believe that she left because she was very unhappy. I think she would have left at some point anyway. Just because she left home before you, is that why you’re so cross with her?”
“Cross with her? That’s hardly the word I’d use!” Louise had the feeling she was losing the battle to her uncle. “She’s just a bitch, that’s all I want to say on the matter. Goodbye.”
With that, she hung up the phone. John sat there looking at the phone, dead in his hand. ‘What now?’ he thought. ‘That didn’t go quite as well as I thought it would. I’ll try Steven. He might be a better bet.’
“Hello?” said Steven.
“Hi, Steven. I just wanted to let you know that your mother’s just been widowed.”
“Oh,” was all Steven could manage while he thought for a moment or two. “What do you want me to do about it? She left us, you know. She didn’t want anything more to do with us.”
“Is that what she told you?” John asked. “I think if you cast your mind back twenty odd years, twenty-two to be exact, she left your father because he didn’t make her happy and hadn’t done for a very long time. She didn’t leave you, did she? You just happened to still live in the family home. She’s always told me that she would never have left if you two were still dependent on her. But you weren’t, were you? You were both over the age of 20. I believe Louise was nearly 24 and you were nearly 21. Is that right?”
Steven thought some more. ‘How am I going to get out of this? I know she didn’t leave us, she just left Dad.’
“Yes but she just upped and left us in the lurch to deal with our father who was ill. You’ll have to speak to Louise, she knows more about it than me.”
‘That’s a cop-out if ever I heard one!’ John thought.
“Look Steven. I’ve told you that your mother has been widowed and I have to say she is in some distress. What are you going to do about it? She needs you. She hasn’t got anyone else she can go to but her own children. Surely there has been enough water under the bridge by now. Let bygones be bygones and draw a line in the sand is what I think should happen.”
“I’ll talk to Louise and see what she says,” Steven eventually agreed.
“You’re a man aren’t you? Surely you can make up your own mind without having to run to your older sister. Look, I’ll level with you. I’ve already spoken to her. She’s not one for budging but you could help me in making her see some sense, right?”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
“Good, you do that. Let me know how you get on.”
Steven came off the phone from his uncle and spoke to Sheryl about the situation in which he found himself. He was more than a little afraid of his sister.
“What d’you think I should do?” he asked Sheryl.
“Well, if you really want to know what I think, I’ll tell you. But you might not like it!” Sheryl was determined to put in her two penn’orths.
“Go on,” he demurred.
“Well,” she began. “I think it’s about time you and your sister made it up with your mother. Far too much time has been wasted. We’re all getting older and your mother’s not going to last forever. They say time is a healer. You know when I lost my Dad two years ago?” Sheryl was on a roll now, so she continued without waiting for an answer to her question. She was happy with just the odd nod from Steven. “Well, you know how sad I was? I know we didn’t exactly have a rift in the family like yours, but we didn’t always see eye to eye. There was a lot I wanted to say to him that I never could because he was gone, so quickly. If your mum died, would you be sad?” she finally asked and waited for an answer.
“I suppose so, yes.”
“Well then, there’s your answer. You have to bite the bullet and make it up with her before you do anything else. Tell that sister of yours that you’ve made the decision and suggest she goes along with it too. It’s always been her that’s been the driving force in this rift. And your grandmother was fuelling it when she was alive. I still don’t know what the problem has been all this time. You’ve always just gone along with it because you’re afraid of her, is that right?” Steven nodded again, so Sheryl continued. “Did your mother leave your father? Yes. Did she leave because she was unhappy? Yes. Did your father soon get over it? Yes. Did she leave you and Louise? Not really. Did you and Louise get over it? No. Why? That’s the sixty-four million dollar question. And by the way – another question for you, different subject.” Sheryl wasn’t really quite sure how to put this delicately. “Have you ditched those drugs you were on? I’m glad you stopped smoking and very pleased, especially for the sake of the kids. They never liked it, did they? They didn’t like the smell on your clothes. They don’t know you’ve been on drugs. How would you like it if they found them and started taking them?”
“I wouldn’t,” Steven said but thought, ‘How am I going to get out of this? I haven’t ditched the drugs, and I haven’t got rid of the ciggies either because I don’t know when I shall need them. I need one right now!’
“Well, get rid of them, now!” Sheryl suggested. She could be quite threatening when she wanted to be. “And sort your sister out at the same time.”
‘All these strong women I have around me, I can’t stand it!’ he thought.
“I’ll do that and I’ll talk to Louise and make her see sense. I’ll go and see her, it’s better than a phone call.”
Steven climbed into his car and sped off. He drove around for half an hour before ending up on the seafront. He got out of the car and lit up a cigarette while he walked a short distance along the beach, thinking. He walked to the end of the seafront and back to the car before he came to the conclusion that he knew what to say to his sister. While he had that thought in his head, he got back into his car. He arrived at his sister’s house only to be told that she had gone out. Dean was there washing his car and Jake was helping him.
“She’ll be back pretty soon I guess. What’s afoot?” Dean asked Steven.
“Oh, I’ve just been told about our mum. She’s been widowed and is lonely!”
“Louise had the same call from her Uncle John only a little while ago to tell her that. What d’you think you’re going to do about it?”
“Dunno, really,” Steven demurred.
“Well, for what it’s worth from an outsider’s point of view, I think you ought to help her. Blood’s thicker than water and all that. Time’s gone on too long with this family breach. I’ve always thought that, but been afraid of your sister.”
“That’s what Sheryl reckons.”
“D’you want me to talk to Louise? If I can help at all, I will.”
“Dad, are you talking about the grandmother I’ve never met because she left Mum and Uncle Steven?” Jake interrupted the men’s train of thought.
“Yes, it is. She’s the one that wrote to you on your 17th birthday.”
“Yes, I thought so. I thought it was so kind of her to send me a cheque, but Mum sent it back with a letter of her own saying not to harass me! I didn’t ask her to do that, she just did it. I had no say in it.”
“Oh, is that what happened to it? I didn’t know that. Right, something must be done,” Dean decided.
“Shall I leave it with
you then, Dean?” Steven asked, hoping that he was going to get out of the confrontation with his sister.
“I’ll certainly talk to her and try to make her see sense. Then if you call her later and reiterate that, then we’re halfway there,” Dean enthused.
“Shall I say anything to her too?” Jake suggested. “I’d really like to meet my grandmother. She sounded really nice by her letter. I know Charlie and Daisy want to meet her too. I know Mum is against her, but I was never sure why.”
“No, no one is sure why. Her mother must have really hurt Louise in some way,” Dean stated. “She’s never really told me much about it. Too painful I always thought.”
“I don’t think she did anything physical to her,” Steven said. “She was a very kind person when we knew her, a really lovely and loving mother. I think that when she left we were so shell shocked that Louise never got over it. Maybe they were too close, which was why Louise took it so badly when Mum left.”
“Well, we’re going to have to help her get over it, aren’t we, for the sake of the family,” said Dean thoughtfully. “I always thought it wasn’t fair to our kids not to be able to meet their grandmother. They sometimes ask about her.”
“Yes, mine do too. Milly and Poppy quite often ask me, ‘Where’s your mother? Why don’t we ever see her?’ and I’m never sure what to say to them. I just tell them that she lives too far away for visits, but of course, now that they’re getting older I suppose they might understand.”
Just then Louise came back.
“Right then. There’s three of us against one of her!” said Steven enthusiastically. “Who’s going to broach the subject?” Jack stepped up manfully.
“Mum? Hi Mum!” said Jack while the others stood back. Jack thought, ‘What now? What should I say now?’
“What are you all doing? You look like ‘hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil!’” said Louise but they all looked so guilty. She was getting suspicious.
Dean stepped forward to save his son.
“It looks like your mother is now widowed. In other words, that man has gone from her life – which is what you’ve been waiting for all this time,” he began.