Giles Woodward alone seemed to know what was going on, but his loyalty to Stephen was now such that he too had become part of the fantasy.
“I wouldn’t have too many more of those dentist appointments if I were you, sir. Your teeth look just fine to me.”
“You sound like Brangäne in the second act of Tristan.”
“Shall I wave my scarf? Remember, when she did that, it was already too late.”
What, however, contained no note of fantasy was Wilbur Knight’s visit to his classroom one morning when Stephen, alone there, was correcting tests. The Latin master, even more solemn than usual, closed the door behind him and approached Stephen’s desk, but did not take a seat.
“I have a matter of the utmost gravity to take up with you, Hill. I have been apprised of your assignations with Mrs. Barnes in my wife’s apartment.”
Stephen, flushing, jumped to his feet. “Mrs. Knight has told you?”
“Mrs. Knight has told me nothing,” was the gravelly retort. “What would my wife know of such matters? It was the janitor who informed me when I visited the apartment yesterday. He wanted me to know the kind of use that Mrs. Barnes was making of the flat so generously loaned. When I told my wife, and suggested that you might be the man, she was appalled, almost incredulous. She said she had merely suggested that you pick Mrs. Barnes up there and drive her back to school. There had never been any idea of your spending a night.”
“May I ask what you plan to do about this, sir?”
“Needless to say, I have passed a sleepless twenty-four hours. My first duty, of course, is to the school. I wish to avoid a scandal if it can be done without dishonor. And I find it hard to believe that you are a man who could fall into the sin of adultery without the strongest temptation. I have known and liked you since you were a boy here, and you have been kind to my wife. I have even obliged myself to consider that Mrs. Knight may, all inadvertently, all innocently, have created a kind of hothouse for the passions by inviting young persons of opposite sex to read erotic poetry in her parlor on afternoons when they should have been outside breathing the fresh air. Anyway, I have resolved to give you the opportunity to redeem yourself. If you will give me your word of honor that you will at once break off your intrigue with Mrs. Barnes and not renew it, my lips will be sealed.”
Stephen hesitated. The offer was too generous to be spurned. But Natica, with the collapse of her fantasy, seemed to burst upon his brain with a new reality. He found himself actually trying to bargain with the old man.
“I give you my word of honor that I will not meet Mrs. Barnes again in that manner while I am a member of the faculty of this school.”
Knight frowned. “I don’t like the qualification. Are you considering resigning?”
“I am not, sir. But as you mentioned the school as your primary consideration, I thought I should tie my promise to my connection with it.”
“Dear me, I had not thought you so lawyerlike. But very well. I suppose I must be satisfied with that. I had hoped you might demonstrate some shame at your conduct. But I reckon that is not within the scope of your generation’s allowances.”
“May I thank you for your moderation, sir?”
“No sir, you may not. I cannot so soon forgive your abuse of my wife’s hospitality. Time, however, may mitigate my rigor. It will depend on your conduct in the future.”
When he had left Stephen felt, absurdly, like a boy at school again whose twenty demerits, the maximum he could receive at a time without expulsion, had been forgiven by a kindly master whose good will he had now sedulously to recultivate. He knew, at any rate, that he could not risk seeing Natica alone again; he wrote her an account of what had happened and slipped it into her hand as the school assembled to enter the dining hall for lunch. Her quick glance seemed to indicate that she knew just what his letter contained (Mrs. Knight, of course!); she put it in her purse without a word.
Nor did he hear anything from her. He waited until after chapel the following Sunday and then sought her out in the garth where she was waiting for Tommy to change from his robes. Some visiting parents were also in the garth, waiting for sons who were choir members, but the flagstone paths between the flower beds led to secluded comers, and taking her by the elbow he guided her to one. He asked her softly if she had had time to think things over.
“What is there to think about?” Her tone was impatient, almost angry. “We knew it had to come to this sooner or later. We’re lucky to have been caught by Knight and not someone else. He can hardly let it be known that his wife was running a bawdyhouse.”
“Is that all you have to say?”
“Well, what more can I say? We knew the chance we were taking.”
“But I need you, Natica! Don’t you need me?”
“You know I do. What’s the point of going on about it?” Then, seeing a couple approaching, she paused to be sure that her voice was under control. “My need, after all, is greater than yours. A handsome rich bachelor is never going to be at a loss for a mistress. Believe me, my dear, if I sound cool it’s because I’ve been preparing myself for this so long.”
“Couldn’t we meet in vacations? I know I gave my word, but I’m not really on the faculty when I’m away from school, am I? Suppose you and Tommy were to borrow one of the family’s cottages at Redwood next summer?”
“And carry on under your mother’s eye as well as his? Dream on, my friend. No, no, this has to end. There’s no other way.”
“Natica!”
“Well, can you face the consequences? Public disgrace for us both. And for Tommy.” She seemed to be almost panting now with controlled exasperation. “The loss of your career here. The anguish of your parents?”
He was silent.
“Well, can you?” Her tone had a rasp.
“What can I say?”
“Well then, there you are. Be a man. It shouldn’t be too hard, when you hold most of the trumps.”
She waved her hand at someone, and he turned to see Tommy approaching them.
He did not see her privately again in the next two weeks, and the time passed in the strange blankness of suspended animation. He tried to lose himself in his classes and in his new assignment of third form gymnasium, and he fought down his shame at the possibility that he was succeeding.
Succeeding? Was he trying to lose himself or find himself? Had Natica ever been quite real to him? Certainly he could not fool himself that he was real to her. He knew that she was simply frustrated, crazed with her restricted life. She had not even tried to make him think otherwise. There would be other men for her. Ultimately she would leave Tommy. And wasn’t the deeper reality for himself in the school and the teaching life that he had counted on to sustain the ideals and aspirations of boyhood?
And then he found a letter from her in his mailbox.
When I told you that our affair was my first, I said nothing but the truth. And I have been as careless as inexperienced. When I missed my period by two weeks I went to a doctor in Boston who confirmed my suspicion. When I told him my predicament he had the humanity to write the name of another doctor on a card. The latter has agreed to do the necessary—it will be very simple and riskless, being so early—but I shall need a thousand dollars, and I have no hesitation in applying to your fuller purse. There can be no question of my having the child (in case you have scruples about abortion, though I can’t imagine why any man should), as Tommy has not had what I believe the lawyers crudely call ‘access’ since our first so pleasant but costly night at Estelle’s flat. Please make the check out to cash. I know I can count on you.
What was most to elate him in the days that followed was that he had not even for a moment considered giving her the check. Destroy his own child? It was unthinkable. In one blinding moment, standing in the hall of the Schoolhouse, her letter in hand, oblivious of the passing crowds of boys at recess, his doubts and fears vanished. There was only one thing to do, and the absolute imperative made all consequences trivial.
/> He went directly to her cottage, careless now of who might be watching. He found her in the kitchen, uncharacteristically watching a pot on the range. She gave a little cry when she saw him.
“Why have you come here? It’s most indiscreet, in the middle of the morning.”
“Listen to me, Natica. Listen to me first, and then nothing else will matter.” She took in the new firmness of his tone and sat down at the kitchen table, rubbing her hands in her apron. “I want you to have that baby. I want you to divorce Tommy and marry me. I want you and I want my child. Nothing else in the world matters to me.”
Her tensely staring eyes gave no indication of what she might be thinking.
“It doesn’t matter whether you love me enough to be my wife. Anyway, you certainly care for me more than you do for Tommy. Now our first duty is to the baby. Oh, Natica, don’t tell me you don’t want to have that child!”
She appeared to be thinking hard. “I want it if I can give it a decent life. Suppose Tommy refuses to give me a divorce?”
“Then we can go off together. To Europe maybe. And have the child there. Those things always work themselves out in the long run. And the advantage of my money is that we can wait for the long run.”
“But oh, Stephen, the school and your job! I can’t do that to you, even for the baby.”
“What was it you said yourself? That my father could buy me a new school?”
“Maybe he won’t after this.”
“What’s a job compared to the life of my son?”
“Your son?”
“Or daughter. Or triplets, if you like.”
“Good heavens.” She covered her face with both hands and remained so for several silent, motionless moments. When she spoke, her voice was hoarse. “Oh, Stephen, don’t tempt me!”
“Only promise me this. Don’t do anything until I’ve talked to a lawyer friend of mine in Boston. He’s the most brilliant man I know. I’ll see him tomorrow if I have to cut every class!”
When he left, he not only had her promise. He was convinced that she would have the baby if he could provide a feasible way. And he was convinced that he wanted that baby more than anything else in the world.
15
STEPHEN SAT in Joel Sapperthwaite’s narrow white-walled office in State Street, confronting the concerned, handsome features of his former tutor. Joel was not yet a partner in the famous old firm of Saltonstall & Meyers, but everyone knew that he soon would be. He had fairly reeked with the aura of future success ever since, a stocky Yale senior from Montana on a “football” scholarship, he had spent a summer at Redwood as mentor to the twelve-year-old Stephen. Stephen had made a hero out of Joel, who, like everyone else, had made a heroine out of Stephen’s mother, and the tutor and all the Hills had maintained a warm relationship ever since. Stephen even suspected that his father had put Joel through Harvard Law.
“Let’s clear up one thing, Steve. Have you told your parents? And wouldn’t they rather you went to their lawyers in New York?”
“I haven’t told them, and I’m not going to until I have to. I want to present them with a fait accompli. What’s the point of upsetting them when I’m absolutely determined in my own mind what I’m going to do?”
“And Mrs. Barnes agrees?”
“She has promised me to do nothing until she hears what you advise. But I’m convinced she wants the baby if it can be arranged.”
“And Mr. Barnes?”
“I don’t know what his attitude will be. But does it really matter? He can’t stop her from leaving him. He can’t stop us from going off somewhere until the baby is born. Surely, no matter what he does, we can eventually get married somewhere, can’t we? And I don’t care where.”
“You’re really prepared to face the music? It will be very loud, you know. Losing your job and making a thumping scandal. Not to speak of what you’ll be doing to that poor minister.”
“It’s terrible, I know. Don’t think I haven’t sweated it out. Averhill has meant the world to me. Perhaps too much so. I even wonder if it hasn’t been an evasion of life. And here comes life in the form of an innocent baby. I’ve got to guarantee his life. I’m sorry about Tommy, but she’s bound to leave him eventually in any case. She’s told me so. She can’t stand him, really.”
“Yet she married him. I don’t suppose anyone forced her to.”
“Oh, Joel, don’t moralize. I’m way past that. What would you do in my case?”
Joel got up quickly and reached a hand over his desk for his client to shake. “I hope I’d do just what you’re doing. It’s a sorry business, but I agree the infant comes first.”
“And do you know something else? It’s the first great decision I’ve made in my life. All along I’ve let things happen to me. I’ve been what my friend Annette used to call va-comme-je-te-pousse. But now I’m taking not only my own life but that of two others into my hands, and I’m damned if I won’t make a good thing of it!”
“And you really love this girl?”
“Yes!”
“And she loves you?”
“Yes.”
It was no longer the time for doubts. Joel gave a strong nod and reseated himself at his desk. “And now to business. Here is what you and Mrs. Barnes must do.”
“Call her Natica, please. She too will be your client, although the bills come to me.”
“Natica. She will leave immediately for Reno where she will establish the required residence. If I can induce her husband’s lawyer to persuade him to consent to a divorce, so much the better. Obviously, we will not ask for alimony. But hate and jealousy can make people take strange positions, and we have to be prepared for his refusal. A divorce obtained without his consent would not be good outside of Nevada. Very well, you and Natica will marry and live in Nevada. Eventually, of course, with two genuine Nevada residences, the divorce and second marriage will be valid everywhere, but believe me, you will not have to wait that long. Barnes will come around. They always do in the end.”
“How soon could we be married?”
“In Nevada? Six weeks. Speed is of the essence. We don’t want Barnes claiming that baby.”
“How could he do that? There’s no way it could be his. Natica told me he hasn’t had ‘access,’ if that’s the right word.”
“Access is just what he has had. Natica obviously doesn’t understand the term in law. It doesn’t mean that he’s had sexual relations with her. It means that he could have, while they were living under the same roof. But you tell me he doesn’t know she’s pregnant. Be sure to keep it that way, as long as you can, anyway. If the child is born seven months after your marriage nobody will have much reason to suspect it was conceived before.”
“Oh, Joel, how can I ever thank you?”
“You won’t have to. You can pay me. Through the nose, too. Messrs. Saltonstall & Meyers are not cheap. But what’s that to your exchequer? And speaking of dough, you had better leave me enough to get your beloved to Reno and put her up in a proper hotel.”
When these details had been worked out, Stephen called Natica, and learning she was alone, told her the plan.
“How about it? Are you game?”
Her answer was as strong as he could have wished.
“I am game. I’ve thought of what I’d do if you came up with something immediate, as, thank God, you have. I shall leave Tommy today. Within an hour. He’s gone somewhere with Lockwood and won’t be back till late. I’ve already packed two bags which is all I’m going to take. Ask the good Mr. Sapperthwaite to get me a room in a hotel in Boston for tonight. I’ll call him from the station. And tell him I’ll be ready to leave for Reno on the very first plane.”
Stephen was taken aback by such a show of resolution. “You don’t think you owe it to him to tell him to his face?”
“No, dear, I’m way beyond that kind of guilt-ridden honesty. When you know exactly what you’re going to do, there’s no point in anything but doing it. Tommy would just rant and rave. It would be a pa
inful scene, to nobody’s advantage. I should never have got into his life and now I’m going to get out of it as quickly and cleanly as possible.”
“But what will I tell him when I get back to school?”
“Why should you tell him anything? He doesn’t know about us. All he will know and all you will know and all the school will know is that I’ve bolted. It won’t come as much of a shock to many of the faculty, at least to the wives. They’ve pegged me as an oddball from the beginning.”
“But when I come out to marry you in Reno, they’ll know.”
“But that will be later. Then we won’t care. That will be your part of the plan. Let’s take one step at a time. The first will be mine. I’m leaving Tommy a letter telling him I’ve gone for good and that he’ll hear from me later.”
“You won’t tell him that…”
“That I’m pregnant? Of course not. What business is that of his?”
When Stephen told Joel, who had been listening, the part of the dialogue he had been unable to hear, though considerably softening the brisk efficiency of Natica’s tone, he did not quite like the look in his lawyer’s eye.
“Well, it seems we’re all set, doesn’t it? I like clients who don’t dally about making up their minds.”
Stephen did not know what to expect when he returned to school, but he was still surprised to find everything the same. Roy Evans had taken over his morning English classes on his plea of a family legal emergency—the awe in which the Hill family was held at school made this perfectly credible—and his absence seemed to have been hardly noticed except by Giles Woodward, who made a grinning allusion to a dentist appointment to which he did not respond. But the next morning, when he was sitting in his empty classroom preparing for the next hour’s session on the “Ode on Melancholy,” Tommy Barnes, his face crinkled and gray, burst in and slammed the door behind him.
The Lady of Situations Page 16