“But is he good enough?” Xavier asked.
I sighed. “Good enough for what?”
“For you.” He threaded a lock of my hair between his fingers before pushing it gently behind my ear.
I bit my lip. His eyes followed the motion. He trailed his hand around my jaw to my mouth, caressing my lower lip with his thumb, pulling it from my teeth. I shivered in response.
“That wasn’t because you’re cold,” he murmured.
His gaze found mine. I stared into the liquid blue pools, knowing I should look away, but I was mesmerized by their beauty, by him. He cupped the side of my face with one hand and leaned forward. His lips came so close to mine I could smell his minty breath, feel it fan across my skin. My tongue darted out and wet my parted lips. He hesitated—maybe he was giving me time to pull away, maybe he was deciding if it was what he wanted. It didn’t matter. That split second hesitation was all I needed to bring me back to reality. I turned my face from him.
“Damn,” he ground out.
I reached to open the door. “I should go back inside. Muriel and Drew will wonder where I went.”
“I already told them I’d bring you home, Milayna.”
“Oh.” I looked out the side window when a thought occurred to me. “Are you?” I asked, not looking at him.
“Am I what?”
“Good enough for me?”
He blew out a breath. “No. And neither is he.”
***
I was home alone when it hit. My parents were still at work. Muriel was across the street; Drew had just dropped her off from school. Xavier had wanted to stay with me, but I thanked him for the ride and said I didn’t need a babysitter.
I pushed speed dial, and she answered on the first ring. “Muriel,” I said.
“I’ll be right there.” She hung up the phone without another word. I heard her walk into the house a minute later. “Vision?”
I nodded. The vision was in full swing by the time she’d gotten there, and I wished I hadn’t called her—she was part of it.
Chay. Muriel. Talking.
I squeezed my eyes closed.
Lockers.
They were talking at school, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying. I placed my hands over my ears, trying to drown out the sounds around me and focus on the noises in the vision. There were none. Frustrated, I swore violently. I heard Muriel’s quick intake of breath and opened my eyes. She stared at me, shocked by the words that had just spewed from my mouth. I shrugged a shoulder.
I’m watching them. Listening. I see my hand resting on the wall. The gold band on my finger gleams. They’re laughing.
Struggling to concentrate, I willed the sound of their voices to break through the vision. I had the overwhelming feeling I needed to know what they were saying.
Milayna.
It was just a whisper, but I caught it. The only sound I heard from the vision. It was Chay’s voice. When he said it, a look of disbelief washed over Muriel’s face, followed by a look of distrust.
“Milayna!” I heard him yell as the back door flew open.
“She’s in here, Chay,” Muriel called.
Muriel. Chay. Laughing.
The vision fizzled away when Chay ran into the room.
“What’s the matter?” he asked.
“A vision. Are you barefoot?” I looked pointedly at his feet, red from walking through the snow.
He looked down like he’d just realized he’d forgotten shoes. “Yeah.”
“How are you feeling?” I asked him.
“Like shit on a shoe.”
I blew out a breath and shook my head. “Well, it’s no wonder. You’re running around the neighborhood without any shoes or shirt on. It’s twenty degrees outside, Chay.”
“Yes, Mom,” he teased and scooped me into a hug. Even though he was shirtless, wearing just a pair of sweat pants, his skin was hot with fever.
“You need to get home. You’re still burning up. Here, take this.” I gave him one of my dad’s jackets and a pair of tennis shoes. “Go home and stay in bed.”
“Geez, you’re a nag,” he said with a chuckle. He grazed his lips over my forehead and sent shivers down my spine. All thoughts of Xavier’s touch flew out the window as soon as Chay was near.
I’m a horrible person. I can’t believe I let Xavier almost kiss me… that I almost kissed him. Chay deserves so much better.
***
I smelled sulfur before I saw them. One darted past the family room window. I was lying on the couch resting, worn out from school the day before.
Rolling off the couch, I walked to the window. I watched Friendly’s fat body run through the backyard. Scarface stalked across the snow to stand on the deck, his body wracked with shivers. I smiled. He needed to cool off a little. He was way too high strung, even for a goblin.
“Milayna!” Scarface shouted. “It’s too damn cold out here.”
“And what am I supposed to do about that?” I called through the window.
“Stop farting around and making me come up here. Just switch sides already,” he grumbled, rubbing his fat hands up and down his arms.
“That’s okay. I like the side I’m on.”
“Milayna,” Friendly sang. “Are you okay?”
My blood ran cold. “Yeah, why?”
“Did you like our game? At the mall? Did you like our game?”
My hands curled into fists. “What do you know about the mall?”
“You got stuck. Spent the night in the hospital. Got a few stitches. Whatever.” Scarface ticked each point off on his sausage fingers.
“You did that?”
Friendly looked at me, his eyes wide. It made him look innocent, cute even. “He made us.”
“Who?” I knew they wouldn’t tell me, but I asked anyway.
“Him. He said it was a warning. That worse things were coming.”
“Well, you can tell him I’m fine.”
“Who was with you?” Scarface asked, a sly look on his face.
“You seem to have all the answers tonight. You tell me.”
“Muriel and Drew. Those you can trust,” Friendly said with a smile. “The others, not so much.”
“What others?”
“If they weren’t at the mall, you should watch out for them, especially the one who didn’t want to go.”
Chay.
“Whatever. You two are wasting my time. When you have something important to tell me, come back. Otherwise, go to Hell.”
“It’s going to get bad,” Scarface yelled after me. “And not just for you.”
“For who, then?” I asked slowly. Sucking my lip into my mouth, I rolled it between my teeth.
“Everyone.”
15
The Kiss
The demons chased me. I was alone in the dark, outside. None of my neighbor’s houses had lights on. I ran home. The door was locked. I reached for my key, but it wasn’t there.
I ran across the street to Muriel’s, but no one answered when I knocked.
I darted around a group of demons and through my backyard. Chay. Jumping the back fence, I found the only house in the neighborhood with lights on and ran to it. I pounded with both fists on the blood-red door.
“Help me,” I screamed.
The demons grew closer. I could smell the sulfur radiating from their bodies, see their sickly gray skin.
The door opened and I fell inside, hitting the floor with a grunt. I scrambled away from the door, kicking it closed.
“Thank you,” I said, out of breath.
“They told you not to trust me,” he said. I looked up into his blue-green eyes, staring coolly back at me. Slowly, he opened the door and the demons walked inside, grotesque smiles pulled across their yellow, dagger-like teeth.
I opened my eyes with a gasp. I’d fallen asleep doing my calculus homework. Raising my head, I smoothed the pages of the book back into place.
I rubbed my eyes with the heel of my hands. I’d had the dream b
efore, months ago. It didn’t mean anything then. I could, and did, trust Chay with my life.
But I couldn’t help but stew over the possibilities. Chay had definitely been acting funny. We’d had more disagreements than the entire time we’d been together. It worried me, and I hated that. I hated second guessing him, looking for clues of his betrayal. But my visions had never been wrong before and in them… I didn’t want to think about it. He loved me, and I loved him.
He would never hurt me. He wouldn’t.
I kept repeating that over and over.
The hobgoblins were trying to stir up trouble. That was their job. My visions might have never been wrong before, but I believed they were wrong about Chay. And I never had a vision that Jeff was going to betray me to Azazel, so they weren’t always reliable indicators either.
I can trust Chay. I believe that.
***
Monday. I hadn’t talked with Chay all weekend. He texted a few times, but other than that, we didn’t talk. I chalked it up to him being sick. He was resting and didn’t feel like texting or talking on the phone.
“Hey, you look better.” I saw him sitting at our station when I walked into chemistry class. “I didn’t think you were going to be here.” He hadn’t called to ask me to ride with him like usual.
“It was a last-minute decision,” he mumbled, not looking up from the notepad he was doodling circles on.
“Oh.”
“You feeling better?” he asked.
“Yes. I have a doctor’s appointment after school.”
“Mmm.”
I walked to the table. He didn’t stand and take my bag like he always did. He didn’t pull out my chair for me like usual. Most disturbing was that he didn’t kiss me—he didn’t even look at me.
Xavier sat behind me, tapping his pen against his book. He flipped it on the desk and stood. “Here, let me get those for you.” He took my bag and slid my chair out. I didn’t really expect anyone to do that for me; it wasn’t like I thought myself a princess or I was a drama queen. It was just that Chay always did it. I couldn’t figure out the sudden change.
“Thanks. You really didn’t have to,” I said quietly to Xavier and sat down. I flipped through my chemistry book. Chay didn’t seem to care that Xavier helped. He just continued doodling.
“It’s no problem. Anything else you need?”
“She’s fine,” Chay answered for me.
I gave Xavier a small smile and shook my head. He ducked his head and looked at me through his long, black eyelashes. My breath hitched in my throat. He looked like he should be a cover model, not a high school senior. He chuckled as if he’d heard my thoughts.
He can’t hear what I’m thinking, right? I mean, I have limited telekinesis powers as a demi-angel. Maybe he has telepathic power as an angel. Crap.
“Did you get the homework done?” I asked Chay.
“Yeah.”
“You think you could look at me when you answer? And maybe use more than one word?”
He dropped his pen and turned to me. His face was pale and his cheeks sunken and sallow. His normally bright eyes were dull and lifeless, with dark purple smudges underneath, like he hadn’t slept for days.
I took a deep breath to hide my shock. He looked horrible. “Are you sure you feel up to being here today?” I ran my fingers over his stubble-covered jaw.
“Yes,” he answered, jerking his head from my touch.
I curled my fingers and let my hand fall to my lap. “Sorry. You just don’t look like you feel well.”
We didn’t speak for the rest of the class. Xavier bumped my chair twice. I ignored it both times. On the third time, I shot him a dirty glare. He flicked his gaze toward the piece of paper he laid on the table in front of him. He shot it across the tabletop at me. I rolled my eyes, but I took the paper.
Need a ride home?
NO!
Sliding the paper across his table, I turned around. I tried to ignore both of them the rest of the period. It was easy to ignore Chay. It was like he wasn’t there. He didn’t hold my hand, he didn’t speak, and he didn’t look at me.
It wasn’t as easy to ignore Xavier. He kicked the bottom of my chair a half a dozen times, chuckling each time I refused to look at him. I could picture him laughing in my mind. His eyes sparkly, his dimple deep in his cheek, and his full lips turned up at the corners.
Stop thinking about him!
Finally, the torture was over. Standing, I gathered my things, shoving them in my bag. I swung the strap over my shoulder. Xavier reached out to take it, but Chay brushed his hand away.
“I’ve got it.” He took my messenger bag and walked out the door.
“Kinda in a bad mood today,” Xavier said, a lazy smile on his lips.
“Mind your own business,” I snapped.
“I am,” he said so close to my ear that my hair moved and my heart fluttered—damn it to hades and back.
***
I didn’t talk to Chay after that. He dropped my bag next to my seat in calculus and walked to his desk. After calculus, he asked Muriel to carry it for me. He didn’t say anything to me.
“What’s up with him?” Muriel asked.
“I don’t know. I don’t think he really feels that great. He should have stayed home.” I took my books. “I can carry them.”
I walked to history alone. Well, not exactly. Xavier was behind me. Until we figured out Abaddon’s plan, we used the buddy system.
“Hey,” Jen said when I passed her room. She fell in step with me. “How’s your side?”
“Great. Feels great,” I answered, still distracted by Chay.
She looked around. “Where’s Chay? He’s not walking with you today?”
“No. He doesn’t feel good.” I didn’t offer any other information.
She looked at me, her brows furrowed. “Huh.”
After history, Xavier and I walked Jen to her next class before we walked on to ours. I had every class with him but two. We walked together from class to class the rest of the day, laughing and joking. I had to admit he was easy to be around when I wasn’t having fantasies about kissing him—which were growing more and more frequent, especially with Chay’s mood not improving. He didn’t walk me to any of my classes that day, which was totally out of character for him.
Chay didn’t show up for lunch either. He had a make-up exam in calculus. I sat with the group at our usual table. Xavier sat next to me, his thigh brushing mine every time he moved, sending jolts of adrenaline zinging through my bloodstream.
Is this normal when someone’s in love? Aren’t I supposed to be immune to other guys? Because I’m most definitely not immune to Xavier. Worse, he knows it. Ugh, I’m a horrible, horrible girlfriend.
Xavier seemed to go out of his way to touch me. A brush of his hand when he’d reach for something, his fingertips trailing across the skin on the back of my neck when he’d place my bag on the back of the chair, and his hand bumping into mine when we’d walk side by side to our next class. With every touch, every innocent—or not so innocent—brush against me, my body went into overdrive. My heart raced and my breathing nearly stopped—tingling in places that I thought were only reserved for Chay’s touch.
I hate feeling this way. I’m with Chay. I love Chay. I want to be with Xavier… whoa, where did that come from? That’s not right. I want to be with Chay.
***
I stood at my locker, looking inside.
What am I supposed to get again?
My mind was toast. I was worrying about Chay and his ever-changing moods.
Geez, I’m a wreck. I can’t even remember why I’m at my locker.
“Hey.” He moved beside me and rested his hand lightly on the small of my back. “What are you doing standing here all alone?”
I looked up at Xavier and smiled. “Nothing,” I answered, trying to ignore his hand on the small of my back, slipping lower than it needed to. “I was just on my way to English. I stopped by my locker to get… something
.” I shut the door with a click, spinning the tumbler on the combination lock.
“I’ll walk with you.” He grabbed my bag off my shoulder and swung it over his. We walked down the locker-lined hallway. The blue and gold lockers reflected off the buffed tiled floors. The heels of my boots clip-clopped as I kept in step with him. It was the only sound in the nearly deserted hall, most students having already gone to class. “Here you go,” Xavier said when we reached the door to my English class.
I peered into the classroom. Seeing Chay sitting in his seat watching me, I smiled. He didn’t smile back.
“Thank you.” I reached for my bag. Xavier slowly slid the strap up my arm and over my shoulder, letting his fingers graze the side of my throat. His hand moved to the back of my neck. He bent quickly and grazed his lips across mine. Stumbling back, I hit the doorjamb. I touched my lips before I held my hand up, palm facing him.
“Don’t… no… just… hmm…” I shook my head. “Don’t.” He’d completely caught me off-guard. I didn’t know what to say. Turning, I walked into my class.
Chay glared at me when I walked by his desk.
“I didn’t… ah… that wasn’t… I didn’t want him to.” He looked down at his desk, bouncing his pencil off his open book. He didn’t answer me.
Class dragged on. I didn’t think it’d ever end. I needed to talk with Chay. He needed to know that Xavier’s kiss was one-sided.
I didn’t want him to kiss me… right? No, I definitely didn’t want him to. I’m in love with Chay. Chay… the guy who I’m having dreams about killing me. This is totally messed up.
I didn’t get a chance to explain, though. As soon as class was over, Chay bolted.
***
My stomach twisted, and my head began to pound. Xavier and I were just leaving economics—I hated that class.
“Xavier,” I whispered.
“Yeah?” He grabbed my hand. I didn’t jerk away. “What’s wrong?”
Milayna's Angel Page 15