"Rumor has it that Radcliffe killed his father to take over the dukedom. Said that he drove his mother into isolation. Shut her out until she died of a broken heart." Meggy sniffed again as if she were royalty rather than a servant. "Some say he has a different woman in his bed every night. Whores. Opera dancers, and worse. Why your family allowed you and your brother to befriend him is beyond me."
"That's enough!" Julia frightened herself a bit with the force of her own barely restrained temper. "I have known the duke since I was in the cradle. Much of what is said about him is lies, many of them spread by jealous woman who have not found his favor." She fixed Meggy with an icy stare. "What I do know is that he has been my friend when no other was. He sees me as I am and does not ignore me, praying that my 'grotesqueness' will not rub off on them. As if somehow, they could 'catch' my scars."
Now it was Meggy's turn to show temper. "The marquess is a far better match for you than the duke could ever be." In that moment, Julia saw her not as a servant, but as a woman. A woman who knew something. "He is magnificent, and he cares for others. He is not the monster you portray him to be."
Looking at her maid, breathing heavily, her indignation on the marquess' behalf evident, suddenly Julia knew that she was looking not at her maid, but at a woman in love. A woman that, she suspected, had been seduced by the very man she was defending. Why else would she hate Benjamin so much while championing the duke?
"When did he seduce you?" The question made Meggy go still. "I know you have been with the marquess, Meggy. Do not lie to me. Was it last summer when you came to town at my brother's request so that you might help to select some gowns for my come out? Or was it later than that, when we first came to town? Avaria told me you were gone several times when she returned to the house looking for you. Was it then?"
Meggy seemed to sink back against the seat, all of the fight gone out of her. "Does it matter? All I know is what I have seen for my own eyes. Landover is a good man."
"He is not to be trusted." Julia countered. Earlier, she'd wondered why Anthony was not immediately behind her when they'd been on the street. Now she knew. The driver was more than a little smitten with the maid, and Julia had no doubt that Meggy had used that to her advantage. She'd waylaid Anthony, probably at Landover's request, allowing the marquess to speak to her freely.
"He loves me." Meggy's voice was like steel now, and Julia found it a bit ironic that her maid had fallen into the same trap that she was constantly warning her mistress against.
With a sigh, Julia sat back and rubbed her temples. "You may think you do, Meggy, but you do not. You are merely dazzled by him. Just as you have warned me about Radcliffe. Do you not understand that he is using you? He does not care for you. He simply sees you as a means to an end." That was perhaps not the gentlest way to put things, but it was honest.
Julia knew her maid had been seduced. There was no question. A peer of the realm had lavished attention on her, and she had not used an ounce of sense. Rather than question his interest, she'd allowed herself to be seduced. She'd allowed herself to be used in this absurd quest that Landover had to see Benjamin hurt.
"When we return to Rosemont House, I will speak to my brother. He can decide what to do with you, though I think you know that you will no longer be my maid. I cannot trust you not to attempt to grant Landover access to me that he should not have, and I will not allow a woman who has gone behind my back to have that kind of private access to my life."
Meggy looked away, apparently unconcerned. "If I am dismissed, I shall go to Landover. I was thinking of leaving anyway. You, my lady, are a fool. You believe the lies of an old friend over the honesty of a man who is merely concerned for you and your well being."
"Enough!" Julia had heard more than she cared to about the entire subject. Right now, all she wanted was to return home and prepare for the ball that night, the rest of it be damned.
As the carriage rolled on in silence, Meggy fuming in the seat across from her, Julia wondered when the woman she'd practically grown up with had changed. She and Meggy had been friends for all of their lives. It had not mattered that Julia was a lady and Meggy a maid. After her father died, it had mattered even less. Meggy had been Julia's comfort after so many tragedies, including the death of the Duchess of Candlewood. They'd shared so much. At one point, Julia had almost allowed Meggy to see the extent of her scarring.
Julia was now glad she had resisted that urge.
She also wondered exactly how much information Meggy had passed along to the marquess - about Julia, Benjamin, and Nicholas. There was little she could do about it, of course, but the idea that a long-trusted member of her household had been spying on them did not sit well. In fact, little about this situation did. She would, of course, have to tell Benjamin as well as her brother. She had no doubt that neither of them would be pleased.
However, Julia could also not shake the nagging fear that there was at least a grain of truth to what both Meggy and Landover had said. Successful rumors, at least in her experience, had their roots in the truth. It was always twisted and manipulated to suit another's needs, true, but the truth was there. Which made her wonder just what the truth about Benjamin was and whether or not she knew him as well as she thought she did.
Chapter Nine
"Are you having a good time, my lady?" Julia couldn't help but shiver as Benjamin whispered in her ear, his breath tickling her neck. Whatever he might or might not have done in the past, he could still make her want to forget that she was a lady. Well, somewhat of a lady, anyway."
"I am now, my lord." When she had returned from her shopping expedition earlier in the day, the first thing Julia had done was inform Nicholas about Meggy's spying, as well as her presumed assignation with the marquess. The maid had, of course, been dismissed. There was no way Nicholas would allow a spy in his household, not even if the spy was a woman who had been with them since birth.
She had also related Meggy's assertions about Benjamin's lies, but Nicholas had dismissed them outright. That had made Julia feel somewhat better. If her brother still believed in Benjamin, that was enough for her.
Not that she had ever truly considered not believing in Benjamin. She knew better and would not start believing silly lies just because Meggy spoke them. This was her best friend, after all.
She stood next to him now, taking in the glittering ballroom before her, marveling that she had been content to miss events such as this earlier in the season. Now, she found herself wishing she had more time, and the sights and sounds of the season were not the only reason. Not to mention that it would give her more time with Benjamin.
Even though he hadn't laid a finger on her since the previous night, Julia felt as if she could still feel his touch burning her skin. Despite the problems earlier in the day, it had not been enough to quell her excitement about the Deaver's ball. After all, she had asked Benjamin to seduce her properly, and she prayed that he lived up to his end of the agreement. Given the look in his eyes, she suspected that he would.
When the musicians struck up the first notes of a waltz, the duke bowed to her and offered his hand. "If you have this dance free, I would be honored." He knew, of course, that her dance card was woefully empty, and asked anyway. Just another small step in his wooing of her and she thrilled to it.
There was no doubt in Julia's mind that, when the time was right, she would find herself naked in Benjamin's bed. She had asked for precisely that outcome, after all. Still, she knew she could change her mind, up to a point anyway, and he would do as she asked and not press the issue. Except that she did not want to change her mind. Not now and probably not ever.
Julia had loved Benjamin for as long as she could remember. She now had the chance she had thought would never come her way - the chance to experience sensual pleasure with the man she loved as her teacher. She was not about to throw it away. However, she was also well aware that, despite his reputation as somewhat of a rake, Benjamin had morals, and despite his promises i
n the gardens the night before, he might be hesitant to truly seduce her. Especially if he thought she might change her mind. Well, she would simply have to prove to him that she would not.
As they slowly circled the dance floor, she allowed herself to sink into the moment and relish the feel of his hands on her body. Even though layers of fabric separated them, his touch still burned her, made her body heat and, she feared, her face flame red. Well, part of her face anyway. It was odd, but whenever she was with him, she forgot about her scars. He did truly make her feel beautiful, as if she was the young, unblemished lady he continually tried to convince her that she was.
"I do not know what you're thinking, sweeting, but I pray that you do not overthink. You do that far too often." After all this time, it was easy enough for the duke to read her mind. He knew her so well.
Nodding, she met his eyes, surprised to find them darkening with desire. "I will not. I promise." Then, because she felt a little of the old Julia well up within her, she couldn't help but add. "Then again, it would be ever so much easier if I had something else to think about."
At first, she wasn't certain that he had heard her. They continued to waltz, the music swelling around them, as the other couples became no more than a blur of color. All she could see was him, and those lavender eyes going dark, the hue more plum now than anything. However, she also noted that he held her tighter, his grip on her firm, as if he never wanted to let her go. And yet his expression never changed, remaining one of casual amusement, something that he did so well.
For his part, Benjamin was on fire. Gods, he wanted this woman. She was a lady and a tease - the most perfect of combinations, and one he'd never found before, at least not in someone that kept him interested for more than a night. She was also Julia, and despite all of the warnings in his mind that told him this was a very bad idea - for many reasons - he was determined to have her.
Normally, he avoided virgins like he might the pox. In the past, he'd found that they had too many expectations - like marriage - or at the very least, a piece of his heart. That was something he did not give away, not when it was already promised elsewhere, even if the woman in question had no idea that she possessed it. Julia was different. She always had been. That was part of the reason why he wanted her so badly. For want her, he did.
At the moment, his cock was so stiff and hard that he ached to simply take her upstairs, find an empty room and bury himself in her waiting heat. However, he had promised to seduce her, and while he knew that she would go with him willingly, he felt that he owed it to her to give her the type of courting she deserved. If he did not do it, it was unlikely that anyone else ever would.
So he danced with her sedately when what he really wanted to do was begin her lessons on becoming a woman. His woman.
"I could give you something else to ponder," he finally replied, a teasing look on his face, and he was pleased to note that her eyes sparkled in return. "There are so many, many things for you to learn Julia."
"Then teach me." Her lips parted a bit, and he was filled with the urge to taste them again. Just a nibble, he thought, and he would be satisfied. Yet he also knew that he would probably never be able to get enough of her. That was why this game was so dangerous - for both of them. He knew that when it ended, it was unlikely that he would be able to walk away. He wondered if the same was true for her as well.
Shaking his head, he maneuvered them closer to one of the numerous sets of French doors that led to the balcony and the gardens beyond. "You do not know what you are asking, sweeting."
"I know that I want you." In that moment, Julia felt bold, almost wanton, but she could feel the season slipping away from her like sand. She did not want to live with regrets. She had far too many of those already. Benjamin would not be another one. "I know that you make me feel things, things no proper lady should ever admit to."
The music swelled and the duke used the opportunity to guide Julia out onto the balcony. The night was warm and the doors already open, so he was surprised, yet grateful to find that they were alone. He could see that she wanted to speak, but he held a finger to her lips and guided her down the steps that led to the darkened gardens beyond. He heard shuffling then, letting him know that they were not alone, so he pulled them deeper into the night, farther into the darkness that was lit only by a pale crescent of a moon.
She was beyond lovely in a golden gown that showed off her luscious body to perfection, and she deserved better than this, but he could no longer control himself. He needed another taste of what he'd first sampled last night. Benjamin would not take her here, but he would tease her a bit more, for he did not think she quite understood what she was asking for. She might have an inkling, but not a true understanding of what her body longed for.
When he was finally satisfied that they were far enough from the house, he pulled her into his arms without hesitation. "Do you have any idea how much you drive me to distraction? How long I have wanted to hear you say that you want me? Much as I have always wanted you?" He wasn't even certain that he knew the answer to those questions.
"Probably as long as I have wanted you." She looped her arms around his neck without hesitation, knowing that she was risking a great deal but not caring. If they were caught, she would be ruined, but at the moment, that was the furthest thing from her mind, as was the confrontation that afternoon. Instead, Benjamin consumed her senses, pushing everything else to the side, making her forget all but him.
She raised herself up on her tiptoes, the gravel hard beneath her delicate slippers. She wanted this. She wanted him. And nothing was going to stop her. "Kiss me, Ben," she whispered. "Like you did last night."
This was their third kiss, but for Benjamin, each time felt like the first. He'd been unable to resist her request for a kiss, but he'd meant to go slowly. However, when his lips touched hers, he found that he could not. Instead, all he wanted was more. More of her. Her lips were soft beneath his and when he ran his tongue along their seam, she opened for him, a breath escaping her.
She was sweet, tasting vaguely of madeira, yet with a hint of tartness that was uniquely her. When he deepened the kiss, she blossomed beneath him, granting him as much access as he wanted. Unbidden, his hands stroked her back, straying lower to cup her buttocks. When he shifted his hips and pressed her against him so that she could feel the heat of his arousal, she gasped, arching into him.
For all that Julia was an innocent, she knew some of the male anatomy, so when Benjamin's cock pressed into her side, she slid slowly and deliberately against his hardness, making him hiss. "Minx," he breathed. "What you do to me."
"What you do to me, Ben," she sighed into his chest, her hands resting on his shoulder. "There is so much that I want, yet I do not know how to ask."
"Then allow me." He knew precisely what she was asking for, but he also knew that he could not grant it. Not here anyway. Still, she could have a taste. As could he.
Julia could not stop trembling as Benjamin slid his thumbs down the length of her scars, the ones that followed the column of her throat. She was afraid. Even though this was Benjamin, there was still fear. No one had seen her scars since that day. Then again, it was mostly dark, and the shadows would hide much of the damage. When his fingers dipped below the top of her bodice, she did not resist. Instead, she arched up, offering him better access.
"So beautiful," he breathed, and Julia felt as if she might faint from pleasure. "You are a goddess, my love. Truly."
Earlier, when Landover had called her beautiful, she had doubted him, but with the duke, she knew that he told the truth. It might be true only for the moment, but it was still true. In this moment, to him, she was beautiful.
Slowly, he kissed his way down the column of her neck, nipping lightly at the delicate skin, tracing the line of the scar with his tongue. For the first time in as long as she could remember, Julia did not mind the scar. She didn't even think of it, really. All she felt was Benjamin and his touch.
At firs
t, she thought that he meant to continue to kiss her through her gown, but instead, his fingers delved beneath the fabric and brushed the sides of her breasts, making her shiver. "Let me see you." There was a note of pleading in his voice. "Dear God, Jules, let me see you for myself."
As if she could deny him. Slowly, she shifted so that the gown gaped a bit, allowing him to pull her breasts free from the confining fabric. She hadn't worn a chemise, since after dismissing Meggy, there was no proper lady's maid to dress her. Julia was thankful now, especially when Benjamin slid the pads of his thumbs over her taut nipples, making them tighten painfully.
She thought all he meant to do was touch, but when he lowered his mouth to her breast and began to suckle her, she gasped and felt a fire ignite deep inside of her. A wetness grew between her legs, and she mewled like a kitten. At first she thought that Benjamin was immune to her distress, but then his hand rose to stroke her other breast, twisting the nipple as he did so and driving her higher with need.
Julia began to gasp, the pressure inside of her growing stronger with each lap of his tongue across her sensitive bud. When he took her nipple between his teeth and tugged gently, she thought she would surely expire. Instead, the pleasure grew, swirling inside of her until she was gasping, nearly crying from the sheer delight of it all. Then, when she thought she could take no more, Ben pulled her close and kissed her deeply, settling himself between her legs and pressing his hardened length into her softness.
Stars exploded behind her eyes and she screamed, or would have were he not there to kiss it away and swallow her cries. Her body twitched and convulsed, and she had no idea what had just happened, only that it was truly the most exquisite moment of her life. She clung to Benjamin for she feared if she did not, she might topple over.
Eventually, she came back to her senses and looked up, only to see him grinning down at her, a satisfied grin on his face. "That would, of course, have been better in a bed, but for a garden, well, it wasn't bad, I suppose."
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