Grandfathers aren’t supposed to bury their granddaughters.
The undead aren’t supposed to die.
It’s a good time for tears, but I’m all cried out.
I’m there all in black — black slacks and a long black t-shirt. My father suggested I wear a dark suit; he was ready to go buy me one the other night when we heard the news—not about her death, but about the arrangements, the wake on Sunday and the early Monday funeral. Karen’s parents are thoughtful and don’t want us to miss too much school. But I told my father that Karen would have wanted me to wear what I’m wearing now, and after all, the service is for her, isn’t it?
Her teachers are all here, and my assistant principal, Mr. Piper. Does the man have no shame? Is he even a man?
I stare at him until he looks away, but really, what is his role in all this anyway?
Now isn’t the time for these questions, but they need to be asked. And in the back, is that Gary Frumberg? I feel a chill in my spine. Has he... changed? It’s him, anyway, and Blaine Whelan stands behind him, with his wife. I’m too upset to care, though.
A priest intones something, but the words float over me. Jonathan and Enrique have my back, a small comfort. The sisters of the night are everywhere, in the crowd around us, in the woods around the burial plot. How can no one notice so many vampires? Perhaps not all eyes are attuned to that type of thing, and really, my own focus is on the casket. Which is now at the bottom of quite a deep hole. I hope that they’re right, that she’s really dead. Which sounds like an awful thing to hope, doesn’t it? But she’s really being buried now.
I get to throw the third clump of dirt onto the casket, right after her mother and father. Just one clump of dirt and one red rose. Does it hurt to think I was her best friend, the only boy she kissed, the way I ignored her these last few weeks? Sure, but not as much as seeing her die, as seeing her buried with these lies about drug abuse and overdose.
The earth makes a dull thud on the casket. Maybe this is all one big joke and the coffin’s empty, and she’s really out there among the sisters, having one last laugh.
I finger the friendship bracelet on my arm. The hemp is rough, scratchy. Can she really be gone?
But then I hear them wail. I flinch, I can’t help it, and in the distance a dog starts barking furiously. But the rest of the people here at the funeral don’t seem to notice anything.
But for me, it’s like one more confirmation. She is not coming back, and her sisters are mourning her in a way no one else here can even notice.
Except behind me Enrique is flinching, too, and Jonathan. And farther back in the crowd, Whelan and his wife. Piper, too, of course.
And Frumberg?
But I don’t want to think about Gary, don’t want to think about the scratch that might have infected him. It takes a great effort to tune out the wailing and look at the hole in the ground where she lies now, awaiting her eternal rest. What was it that the sisters said about sending her off into another place? Maybe this is all a new beginning, but it sure feels just like one sad ending.
Just as I’m about to leave, to get back on the school bus to go back to school — the administration had shown their compassion by letting us ride over here together, right after school started — someone steps into my path, stopping me and Enrique and Jonathan behind me.
It’s Meredith.
“Stanley,” she says. “I’m so sorry.”
“She wasn’t your friend,” I say.
Meredith looks me right in the eye. “Right, Stanley. You’re right, of course. I didn’t mean to imply anything, but—”
“But what?” I ask, cutting her off.
“Carolina told me some confusing story about how Karen did something brave to save us all...”
“How would she even know?” I ask. “She was asleep the whole time.”
“Look,” Meredith says. “I know you’re angry, but I just want to tell you that if you want to talk, I’m here, okay? If you want me to leave you alone, I’ll leave you alone. I’m just sorry I teased you on Friday on the phone. I feel so guilty about everything...”
“I’m sorry, too,” I say. “I think...”
I just stand there. I mean, I might as well get it off my chest. But really, compared to everything else, what’s the point?
“You think what, Stanley?” she asks me.
“I think I killed your rabbit,” I say.
“What?” she says, looking at me, her eyes wide. “You what?”
“I ate Snowball, out in the woods,” I say. “That night, at the party.”
“You ate my pet?” Her eyes tear up as she just stares at me, maybe waiting for me to laugh or something. But I don’t laugh.
I shake my head. “It was just a rabbit, and I was hungry.”
“I guess it doesn’t matter, now,” she says. “But I still can’t help wishing you hadn’t told me.” She takes a step away, biting her lip, but then I’m pulling her to me. It won’t make things right again, will it? But holding her, I feel a little better, and maybe it helps her, too.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
“No, Stanley,” she says. “I’m sorry.”
“Shhh,” I say to her, and then it’s time to get back on the bus.
“Where’s Carolina?” I ask.
“She stayed home. She’s really sorry, too.”
We don’t talk the rest of the way back to school, but I let Meredith hold my hand.
Don’t be angry, Karen, wherever you are now. It’s not for lack of missing you.
Chapter 43: AN UNEXPECTED OFFER
School passes by pretty normally the rest of the day. Some kids give me funny looks, a few give me sympathetic pats on the back. The worst is biology class, without a lab partner. My teacher puts me to work with another group, making three of us, and I swear the two of them don’t make eye contact with me the entire time. I don’t blame them; it must be hard for them, too.
After school I sit with Meredith on the bus and we don’t talk about anything, and not in a good way, either. I mean, it’s not like we’re quiet because we’re kissing or playing with each other’s hands, or even just staring out the window. None of that. We’re just silent, although she makes me promise to call her before I go to bed. I’ll keep that promise. But right now, when Enrique and I get off at our stop, there’s someone waiting in front of our house, someone I haven’t talked to since last Friday night.
Blaine Whelan. Alone.
“Are you okay?” he asks me.
“Yes? No? I don’t know,” I say.
He just looks at me, his hands in his pockets.
Enrique moves to walk away to his house, but I reach out and grab his arm to keep him there.
“How about you?” I ask, looking back at Blaine.
“Could be better,” he says. “Could be worse. Listen, the Seelie Queen is very grateful for all you’ve done. She’s so sorry about Eternal Cleanse.”
“Yeah, well, sorry doesn’t help us any, does it?”
“Listen, Stanley. She’s made two pills. The blue pill will bring you back to where you were before you started taking the supplements. You’ll be normal, just like before.”
“And my knee?”
“Will be like before the supplements.”
I’ll never run again.
“And the other pill?” Enrique asks.
“The red pill will leave you as you are right now. You’ll never take the supplements again, but you’ll be a jaguar, Enrique, and you, Stanley, will be a werewolf. Forever.”
“What is this, The Matrix?” Enrique asks.
“It’s true that Eleanor enjoys her movies,” says Blaine, unsuccessfully trying to hide a smile.
“I’ll take the red pill,” Enrique says.
Blaine hands him a pill and he dry swallows it.
“And you, Stanley?”
“You want to know if I’ll give up my humanity in order to keep running?”
“If you want to think of it like that, yeah.”<
br />
“I’ll take the red pill, too.”
“You sure about this? After you decide, there’s no turning back.”
“You didn’t say that to Enrique, did you, Blaine? Just give me the pill.”
I dry swallow it.
“Good,” Blaine says. “I just need to approach another couple of hundred teenagers.”
“You’re not letting the zombies stay zombies, are you?” I ask.
“No, they don’t have a choice. It’s the blue pill for all of them.”
“So, Eleanor is well?” I ask.
“She’s recovered. She’s left us and taken back her throne. But she wants you to know that she owes you a favor.”
He stares at me, waiting for me to ask a question. But right now, I don’t feel ready to ask it.
He tells me anyway. “You didn’t kill Zach, Stanley. It would have been a lot simpler if you had... But you’re not a murderer, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“He’s alive?” I ask.
My mind flashes back to Zach on the floor, lying in a pool of his own blood, his face reduced to little more than a hunk of raw meat. How can he have survived?
He nods. “Their kind is very hard to kill.”
“Will Zach be... turned?”
He shakes his head. “His face will be scarred, but I don’t think he’ll carry the curse.”
“You don’t know?”
“He’s fae, which should make him immune. But he’s also a halfling. If he has some human blood in him, who knows? There may be a... connection between you.”
“I’m going to kill them both. Zach and Gilroy.”
“I’m sorry about your loss, Stanley, you know that.”
“Well,” I say, “thanks for coming by.”
“Look,” he says, “I came here with an offer for you.”
“I don’t want to join your clan.”
He shakes his head. “It’s not about that. It’s about a little key, the key you have in your pocket right now, I think.”
And it’s true. I can feel its heat, its small, golden warmth in my jeans pocket.
“You want the key?” I pull it out. “Take it.”
He shakes his head. “It can’t just be given like that, even if you want to. It’s too powerful.”
“What do you want, then?” I ask, putting it back in my pocket.
“I want you to be my assistant. Assistant gatekeeper. Assistant shopkeeper. Help me open the store in the mall.”
“Yeah, great,” I say. “I can help you open the store, and then what? Help you get some more people killed?”
“No,” he says. “Help me keep people safe.”
“How are we going to help keep people safe?”
“Walk with me for a moment and I’ll try to answer your questions,” he says.
I look at Enrique, who shrugs.
“Walk with me, both of you,” Blaine says.
We walk with him.
“I didn’t choose to have the gateway here,” Blaine says.
“Who did, then?” I ask.
“I don’t know,” he says. “Maybe the gateway chose its own destination. Maybe it had a little help from the faerie courts. From the excavation for the new mall. But it wasn’t me. I swear it. All I know is that when it moves, I must follow it.”
“Why?” I ask. “Why do you have to?”
“Because it chose me,” he says. “Just like it chose you.”
“It chose me?” I ask.
“Yes, with the key,” Blaine says. “It chose you when it gave you the key.”
“What does the key have to do with it?”
“You have the gold key now. I have the silver and the bronze. I think the gateway wants another gatekeeper. Maybe the job is too big for just one person.”
“Are you sure?” I ask.
“I’m sure of one thing,” he says. “I’m sure I need your help. You saved my daughter and your friends. Without you, they would all have been—”
“But if I hadn’t done all that, Karen wouldn’t be dead now, would she?”
He shrugs. “You never know what could have been. But I know I’m grateful to you, and I’m so sorry about your friend.”
“Thanks so much for the words of sympathy. But they’re just that. Words. They won’t bring her back.”
He’s silent then. Finally the man shuts up.
“You really think we can help save lives?” I ask, finally. “Keep people safe from that gateway?”
“Let me be plain. I think without your help, Stanley, there will be more deaths.”
He lets me think about that for a moment.
“Do you think you can help me, then?” he asks.
“I’ll think about your offer. Is this job paid?”
He nods. “Pay and benefits.”
“And I’ll be helping the community.”
Blaine nods. “They need you, Stanley. We all need you.”
“Do you think you might have a job for my friend Jonathan, too?” I ask. “You know, he could help with your store — he’s really into manga.”
“I’ll have to consider it,” he says with a smile.
“Consider it?” I ask. “Like I’m considering your offer? Then hurry up, consider.”
He looks at me. “Okay, I’m done.”
“And?” I ask.
“And?” he asks, right back at me.
“Okay,” I say.
“Okay,” he says.
And my fate at Natural Magic is sealed right there with a handshake, with my friend Enrique as a witness.
He looks at Enrique. “You want a job, too?”
Enrique shakes his head. “I’m too busy working at the garage.”
Blaine smiles. “I could teach you ways to make cars do amazing things.”
“Yeah, well, I’ll have to think about it. Wouldn’t that be cheating, using magic in cars?”
Blaine shrugs. “You know, magic is hard work, too.”
So we leave it at that. I say goodbye to Enrique and Blaine and walk into my house.
My mother has me prepare the pot roast myself, which is kind of torture, since I want to bite into it raw. She makes me leave it in the oven for two hours. She tells me about how my meat was once a noble buffalo, grazing on natural grasses on the plains of Oklahoma, before it was humanely processed, put into plastic, and shipped to our Whole Foods.
She’s being very brave. Luckily she has her coven. They’ll be meeting almost every other night until the problems pass. Which doesn’t look to be anytime soon.
Do I have to tell you that I finish off the two pounds of roast myself? My father is proud of me. He was never as much into vegetarianism as my mother. He tells me he’s never seen anyone put away so much food.
Finally it’s time to go to sleep. But first I pick up the phone.
Meredith picks up on the first ring. “Hello, Stanley?”
“Hi,” I say.
“Are you doing all right?” she asks.
I don’t really know how to answer that question. I mean, my stomach is full and warm, but my heart and my mind are empty and cold. So I don’t say anything. I can kind of feel her there, waiting, on the phone.
“I promised you I’d call,” I say.
“Do you want to come over?” she says.
“It’s late,” I say. “I want to get some sleep.”
“I think it’s going to be a little hard to sleep tonight, don’t you?”
Then there’s this silence. Maybe she realizes she’s said too much. I don’t know.
The silence is drawn out, and I just want to hang up the phone. Maybe we just don’t have anything else to say to each other.
“Are you still angry, Stanley?” she asks.
“Just tired, I think.”
“You don’t hate me, do you?”
“I’m too tired to hate anyone,” I say.
“Ouch,” she says.
“Sorry,” I say. “That came out a little rough. But I don’t hate you, anyhow.”
“Thanks,” she says. “That makes me feel a little better.”
“Are you going to be all right?” I ask her.
“I think so. If you promise you’ll call me tomorrow night. I’m afraid I’m going to have the nightmares again. I keep remembering what happened. But did it really happen? Or was it all a dream? I can’t keep it separate anymore.”
“I’ll call you,” I say.
“Are you going to ignore me at school?”
“What do you want me to do?”
“Well, I’d like you to act like my boyfriend.”
Her boyfriend? Her boyfriend. Did she just say her boyfriend? She said it. And she’s waiting for me to say something.
“I’m not sure I can do that,” I say.
“Please, Stanley.”
“Really,” I say. “I’m sorry. But you’ve got to give me some time. If you need a hug or something, I’m there, but—”
“Thanks,” she says. “I guess that’s the best I can expect, huh?”
“I don’t know, Meredith. But it’s the best I can do.”
“Goodnight, Stanley. Sweet dreams.”
“Goodnight, Meredith.”
I hang up the phone and turn off the light. The room is dark. I lie back and close my eyes. All things have beginnings, middles, and ends, and this story is no exception.
But my story doesn’t end here.
Chapter 44: THE WRONG ENDING
I lie down to sleep. I close my eyes tight and try to release all the tension in me gradually, starting from my toes and moving up all the way to my ears. It’s a difficult process, and usually it’s foolproof. By the end you’re either asleep, totally relaxed, or both.
It would be nice if my story ended here, but it doesn’t. Because this time sleep eludes me.
Not only that, but I’m no longer alone. There’s a cold draft in my room and a smell of damp earth. Have I left open a window?
My eyes open against their will. My lids are so heavy. There’s someone here with me, sitting at the end of my bed. Quiet. Waiting. And very dead.
The room fills with the smell of damp earth, and something else. The sweet tangy smell of roses. Dead, dark, wilted roses.
I sit up slowly, but her hand reaches out, touches me lightly.
“Lie down, Stanley. It’s easier for me when you’re lying down. And close your eyes.”
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