Finding Summer

by Rice, Rachel E.

  His mind filled with the thought of it and he remembered the doctors saying he might regain his eyesight overnight, or it could take years. Now wasn’t the time to tell Summer. She might want to rush back to Houston and bring him to the doctor, ruining their vacation. She needed the time off more than he did, after she had put up with him all these months. But he had to share this with someone, and the only person he knew and cared about was Summer.

  How was he going to break the news? Maybe his sight would go away as quickly as it had appeared. Jackson became nervous and tense. He reached inside his bag, found a composition book and a pen, and wrote.

  After an hour, he placed the book and pen in the drawer next to his bed. Peace came over him and he fell back to sleep. When he woke again, it was dark all around and in his room. For a moment he thought he was still blind. The moon had settled behind the clouds and it was midday. He dressed and walked to the kitchen to see Summer cooking. She didn’t hear him. He stood looking at her in amazement.

  He wanted a moment to drink in her loveliness. She was indeed a beauty, with her auburn hair falling in curls on her shoulders. He cleared his throat and she turned around. He focused on her big blue eyes, soft plump natural red lips, and dazzling smile.

  “I thought you would sleep all night and day. You slept through breakfast. Now it’s lunch time.” Summer said. She held a large spoon, stirring a pot.

  “I cooked something new for you. Do you like chili?”

  “I don’t know, maybe. I have to tell you...”

  Summer interrupted him. “It can wait. Taste this.” She handed him a wooden spoon. He tasted it and coughed.

  “What, too hot?” Summer asked, disappointed.

  “Not at all.” Jackson sat on the stool watching Summer.

  “I have this cookbook and I’m learning to cook southwestern,” she said with her head high and with a sense of accomplishment.

  “Really?” He paused. “I have something important to tell you.”

  “Can’t it wait until tomorrow?” she asked, adding more chili seasoning to the pot.

  “No,” he said.

  “Then tell me and ruin my day,” she said, turning to face Jackson.

  “How shall I say this?” He paused, looking at Summer, and then he took off his glasses. “I can see.”

  Summer stood motionless, holding a spoon over the pot, walking over to Jackson, and then dropping it on the counter. She turned and stared at him in disbelief. Then she smiled. “You’re kidding.” She shook her head.

  He shook his head, too. “No, I’m not kidding,” he whispered.

  She moved closer to get a better look into his eyes. They were a beautiful color of blue and they were full of life. They told a story of a young man in pain and a young man who wanted to be in love. She knew that look because it was the same look that was staring back at her each time she peered into the mirror.

  She couldn’t trust her eyes. She had to ask again. “Are you kidding me?” She passed her hands in front of his eyes and he blinked. “You blinked. You blinked. Is this for real?” Her heart beat fast and her breathing intensified.

  “It’s for real. And I’m real,” Jackson said, with open arms. She rushed into his arms and they held each other. Kisses of happiness passed between them. The laughter and dancing began. He twirled her around and they jumped up and down and shouted.

  Summer screamed. “You can see, Adam.”

  He stopped sudden and gazed at Summer. “I can get a job and give you things.”

  “I don’t want anything from you. I did this because…”

  “You felt sorry for me.”

  “No. Because I…” and she stopped and met his eyes.

  “Because you love me? Is that what you wanted to say?” Jackson questioned. “Please say it.”

  “Yes, maybe. You are so thoughtful and handsome. Any girl in her right mind would want a man like you.”

  “Yet you behaved as if you are afraid of me,” he said, holding her arms.

  “I’m not afraid of you. I’m afraid you belong to someone else and I will get hurt.”

  “I don’t feel as if I’m married. I would feel it deep down but I don’t feel that way. I would know, Summer. Trust me, I would know.” He held her tight in his arms to comfort her. His words were spoken softly, his eyes spoke, too; they said that he was hers if she wanted him.

  “I’m in love with you. I know that I’m a single man. It’s in my soul.”

  “I can’t be sure, Adam. I need to know.” She pulled away, holding back her tears, and made distance between them.

  “I can travel to Fort Stockton before we return to Houston. There’s an army post. Maybe I can get answers there. I might be able to get some kind of job for now so we don’t have to go back to Houston so soon. Summer, I want to be with you for the rest of my life.”

  “Don’t make promises you can’t keep. I can’t stand it. When you find out who you are, I will be alone.”

  “I can say it because you’re my love and my life, Summer. Things don’t have to be as tragic as you are imagining.”

  He wiped the tears from her eyes. They embraced each other and their bodies yearned for what they needed, which was each other. It had been too long without the warmth of a loving woman for Jackson, and without a man for Summer. She needed Adam’s love. The pull of Jackson’s body might have been too strong if she hadn’t reminded herself that he could have a family somewhere, and she could be opening herself up to heartache and pain of the worst kind.

  “I know that you are saving yourself for the man you will marry and I respect that. But I ask one thing of you. “Please sleep with me tonight. You don’t have to answer now, but if you find yourself in my bed tonight, I won’t protest.”

  Summer’s eyebrows narrowed.

  “No. Not that, but I’m a man and I want you in the worse way. I need to be close to you. I need the warmth of your body to make me feel alive and to remind me that I have value as a man.”

  Summer was still, imagining her life with him.

  They sat and ate her homemade chili. They both agreed it was good but could use a little less chili powder. Silence framed the evening. Then Jackson jumped to his feet.

  “Let me help you clean up, Summer.”

  “Do you think you should?”

  “I haven’t had brain surgery. I can do it.”

  “I just wanted you to rest. Maybe your sight might go away again and I couldn’t take that.”

  “It doesn’t work that way, but since you are so keen on doing the dishes, I’m going to watch some sports and the news.”

  “You love sports,” Summer said as she washed a pot. She turned around and stared at Jackson. “Your body screams of sports or fitness nut.” They laughed.

  “It never occurred to me that I could be ‘a fitness nut.’”

  He sat on the couch, engrossed in the sports channel. After Summer dried the last dish, she plopped near Jackson. “You seem more interested in football than soccer or baseball. Do you remember playing football?”

  “It’s nothing. Most men in this country are fascinated with sports, especially football. There’s nothing more exhilarating than leading a team of men, and throwing a perfect pass and it’s caught, and your team wins.” Summer turned her gaze to Jackson. His passion for football fascinated her.

  The things she knew about him, and the things she didn’t know, troubled her conscience.

  “After that big bowl of chili, we should go for a walk. We haven’t had a chance to see that stream that runs near my property,” Summer said, hoping to temper their sexual desires.

  “Do you think we can see the snakes that come with that stream?” Jackson said with a hardy laugh.

  “You’re terrible. How did you know I’m afraid of snakes? Maybe we can put it off for another day when I can run,” Summer said with a laugh.

  “I was hoping you were afraid of something. You can run into my arms and I can save you.”

  Summer curled up nea
r Jackson as he held her in his arms. Her head fell on his chest and her eyes closed. She was tired. She didn’t realize how exhausted she had become. She had been rushing around taking Jackson to his doctors and physical therapy, while still working and going to school. She did it to help him because she wanted the best for him. She needed to know who this man was before she could have a life. In a short time, she had invested her whole life in him.

  Seeing Summer so tired, Jackson scooped her into his arms and carried her to her room. Before placing her in her bed, he thought for a second, and then he turned around and brought her to his bed. She would sleep with him tonight, he decided. Nothing would happen, but he couldn’t bear another night of sleeping alone. He had no one and she had no one, but they had each other. He would take it slow. He would not rush her even though he wanted her and needed her so much.

  Jackson’s gaze fell on her, struck by the young beauty. He nuzzled his nose near the side of her neck, inhaling her sexy scent. Moonlight passed over her face and he realized he had been walking in the dark. He had become use to the dark but he wanted sunlight in his life and Summer would be his sunlight and he would be her strength and her love.

  Summer manage to open her eyes. “Where am I?”

  “In my bed.”

  “Oh.” And she fell back to sleep.

  It felt natural.

  Chapter Five

  Summer woke to the aroma of eggs and sausage frying. She stretched her arms upward and turned around, gazing down at the mattress—the indentation on the pillow, the bed with cotton sheets in disarray and thrown to the side; indications that Adam had lain next to her. Scanning her body, she saw she had slept in her sweatpants and sweatshirt, but she was in Adam’s bed. Nothing had happened. Not that she thought anything would. He was a man of his word. A disappointed sigh escaped from her mouth. After a long shower, she pulled her hair into a tight knot and stumbled into the kitchen.

  “How did I get in your bed, Adam?”

  “I carried you there.”

  She looked at him with a pleasing smile. “Okay,” she said, opening the fridge and taking out orange juice.

  “Okay, we can share a bed?” he questioned with a smirk and wink.

  “Okay, don’t press your luck,” she said turning with a big grin.

  “I should get something for cooking this breakfast. I think I’ve done this before.”

  “You will get something.” Summer raised her eyebrow and lumbered around to him, giving him a kiss on his lips. He handed her a plate. She sat quietly, trading flirting glances with him, and holding the small sausage to her pursed lips.

  He turned to her, “If you continue to arouse me, I won’t be responsible for this little man’s actions.” She glanced at him, asking for clarification. He pointed to his hard penis protruding in his pants.

  “Why, Adam, you are a wolf.”

  “The better to eat you, my dear.”

  Summer’s gaze turned to Jackson and he raised his eyebrows and winked at her.

  Where did that come from, she wondered. Breaking into a smile, she shook her head and waved him off.

  Their breakfast quickly turned into seductive sexual foreplay, which became too much for Jackson.

  “I think I should start out early tomorrow morning and go to the army base at Fort Stockton and check on my status. I haven’t received any checks. You need things. I have to get us a car. You need new clothes and to have your hair done. There is so much I want to do for you.”

  “I don’t…”

  As if reading her mind, he interrupted. “I know, but let me do it.”

  “But what if…”

  “I know, but it’s not today, and all we have is today. I have no memory and no past.

  “But you do have a past and we need to know about it before we go on,” Summer said.

  “Can you forget that and live with me today?” He leaned over and kissed her. Her thoughts fell on her own past. The past that lived with her for years.

  Her mind wandered to that past.

  ***

  Seventeen year old Summer followed Jackson into his room and into his bed because she knew she was leaving San Francisco bound for Houston the next day. She knew she shouldn’t have gone into his room. But she liked this boy so much. She shouldn’t have kissed him. She lost all her resolve when he kissed her; It was her first kiss. What he did to her under the oak tree ruined her. She tried to recreate the same feelings with other boys but soon realized it was a waste of time. She would never feel that way again.

  But she did retrieve that burning feeling with Adam. Their kisses were so similar and had such a profound effect on Summer’s body that it became easy to love Adam and replace the boy of her dreams.

  After he showered, Jackson entered her room and sat on Summer’s bed. Their eyes met. His gaze lingered, and he said, “I need you. I need to make love to you, but I don’t know if you want me to.”

  Summer’s body ached for his touch. “Why don’t you shave?” she asked, stalling. “I would love to see your face.” She touched his cheek and he took her hand and kissed her palm.

  “I want you as much as you need me,” Summer admitted.

  “You don’t know me,” Jackson said, making sure this was what she wanted.

  “I know who you are. You are my Adam. The man I love.”

  Jackson locked onto Summers smoldering eyes and his lips met hers. He wanted to kiss and love her with unbridled passion. She gave him renewed courage to feel like a young man. But if she changed her mind and rejected his advances, he would stop and apologize, proceeding more slowly, but he needed to try.

  Placing his hand on her breasts, his kisses trailed lightly on her mouth and neck, and she responded with a moan of acceptance. Not because he wanted it, but because she needed it. He stopped and helped her remove the sweatshirt. He slid the straps of her bra from both arms. She sat in her bra. She looked at him and then she turned her back to him and he unhooked her bra.

  It felt natural.

  His mouth trailed down her neck, leaving heat from the small kisses near her earlobe, on her shoulders, her breasts, until he found her swollen nipples and his lips softly grazed them one at a time. Then he sucked her nipples, receiving pleasure from his actions. He glanced at how hard the small knobs became, knowing that he was satisfying her. She emitted pleasurable sighs from her lips.

  She unbuttoned his shirt and he threw it on the floor. She glanced at his body, which brought her immense arousal. Jackson pulled her sweats down and off and threw them near his shirt. Summer helped him with his pants. Their bodies yearned for each other until they met in a flurry of pain and ecstasy.

  ***

  It was a Monday morning Jackson packed and was ready to drive the hundred miles to Fort Stockton. When Summer opened her eyes, he leaned over her, telling her that he will see her that afternoon. She wound her arms around his neck, kissing him goodbye as if he was a husband off to work. He would be home that evening.

  Summer handed him a new cell phone. “It’s yours,” she said.

  He smiled at her thoughtfulness.

  Jackson took her old rusty Chevy and asked her to pray that it would make it to Fort Stockton and back.

  After getting into the car and driving on to the highway, he wished he had asked Summer to take the drive with him, but he knew she was exhausted. He needed to take care of the business with the VA and get on with his life, which seemed to be at a standstill. He didn’t know how to proceed. Ever since the blast he had suffered, which tore off his clothing and destroyed his identification, he had felt in limbo.

  He was “lucky,” was all he could remember the doctors saying when he woke in the hospital in Houston. He was indeed lucky—lucky that Summer was there and took him in. Now he knew whatever happened, his life would be different because he was in love. He knew it was probably not the first time, but that annoyed and confused him. He had the feeling that he had felt this type of love for another woman. Was it a wife, a girlfriend, or a f
iancé? He couldn’t remember.

  For now it didn’t really matter because it was this time in his life, and today was all that was important to him.

  Jackson was in love with Summer. She accepted him with all his faults, he thought.

  He passed the sign that said thirty miles to Fort Stockton. He hadn’t driven in months and the closer he got to Fort Stockton, the more anxious he became. It was a tedious drive on the open road. He passed few cars but too many big rigs bearing down on his slow vehicle. All he could think about was getting back and buying a new car for Summer.

  He needed to read some papers. Once he arrived at Fort Stockton, he would have plenty of time to call Summer. He received some mail at the apartment in Houston and put them aside planning to let Summer read the letters. He took them with him still forgetting to give them to her. He had opened the papers when his eyesight returned and threw them to the side, thinking that they were a mistake.

  Jackson had to tell her to return the papers to the bank because there was no way he had that kind of money. It never occurred to him that the account was his. The thought of having that money frightened him. Where would he get that kind of money on a lieutenant’s pay? He didn’t want to think of it, but he had to. He picked up the phone to call Summer to tell her to call the bank.

  He put his head down for a second to retrieve his phone from his jacket.

  ***

  “Can you see this light?” The young doctor, who appeared to be about the same age as Jackson, stood waiting for a reply.

  “Of course I can. You’re shinning it in my eyes.”

  “Do you know who you are?”

  “Of course, why wouldn’t I?” Jackson stated, confused by the question. “Do you know who you are?” He turned to the other doctors who gathered at his bedside. There was silence. “Well, since you can’t tell me who you are, then let me enlighten you as to my parentage. I’m Jackson Van Hughes the third of San Francisco, and I’m the son of Mary and Jackson Van Hughes. And if you check my driver’s license, you will see that I’m an engineer and the president of Van Hughes’s Oil and Gas.” He paused for a moment, and then continued.