Oh crap. Jess was pretty sure she did not want to hear the rest of this.
Her reaction must have shown on her face, because Del chuckled and winked. “A little later, they showed the area again, and sure enough, there y'all are, watching the game.”
Jess hurried to explain. “I called in a favor. It was last minute, and Kayne and I already had plans to take the kids to the Valley.”
“That's what Joe said. Said he'd run into Kayne yesterday. Kayne took the day off to babysit the kids while you worked.” Del looked far too pleased by that fact.
Kayne shrugged. “We were cleaning the Tahoe.”
“Hope you can play nice in the sandbox,” Del said out of the blue. “Here comes trouble.” He nodded toward the front door, his demeanor suddenly all cop.
Jess followed Del's line of vision. A furious-looking Cody stormed through the front doors. Since he was glaring at Kayne, she assumed he was the source of Cody's anger.
“Wonder how Jarred feels about being replaced?” Cody snapped.
“Now, Cody...” Del scolded.
“On national television, with a highway hog?” Jarred hissed, all but getting in Jess’s face. “What the hell happened to not being ready to date?” Cody didn't wait around for a response; he continued inside without looking back.
Jess slowly turned to Del. “What did he mean?”
“The cameras scanned the crowd when the final buzzer sounded. You two seemed quite pleased with the game results.”
Jess felt the color drain from her face.
“Oh, no.” Kayne’s head fell forward, his chin resting on his chest.
Maddy giggled. “They showed Kayne kissing you right there on the big screen.”
Jess felt slightly ill. Not once had she stopped to think about how the kids would feel about her and Kayne being anything more than friends. Would they be happy if she was happy? Or would they feel like she was stealing their friend? And what would happen when he discovered she wasn't good enough for him and walked away? Would he still want anything to do with the kids? Would she want him to?
Jess stopped and took a deep breath. They hadn't taken the relationship any further than friendship. Okay, some really friendly friendship. But they could leave it at that. She couldn't let the kids get attached to someone who wouldn’t stay, and it was painfully clear that after all he’d lost, Kayne was no longer the staying type. If she was saddened by that, she'd just have to get over it.
***
“Kayne?” Maddy leaned around Jessica to hold out the program to him. “I know you're not our dad, but... would you take us to this? I've never gotten to go.”
Kayne read the announcement she was pointing to. The church, in conjunction with two others, was hosting a community wide Daddy-Daughter overnight camping trip in a couple of weeks. His gut reaction was to say no, but when he looked into those soulful eyes brimming with hope, he weakened. Could he do this? Could he let this little girl in and not betray Natalia and Tasha's memory? What would it feel like to step in, even as a surrogate, for one moment in time?
Kayne realized he wanted this, wanted those memories with Maddy and her sisters, regardless of who Gracie may or may not be. Wasn't that really why he was here today?
“I would be honored.” Kayne sent an apologetic look toward Jessica, realizing he should have discussed it with her. She gave a tight nod but said nothing. He was pretty sure he was going to hear about it later. But at the moment they were in church. Since lightning hadn't struck, and the roof hadn't caved in, he figured he could sit back and relax. Enjoy just...being.
Church had started off a little rocky, but now sitting here with Jessica by his side and Isabelle on his lap, it felt strangely comfortable. Jessica didn't know it, but he was quietly playing rock paper scissors with Ash behind her back. Well, at least he hadn't thought she'd noticed, until she leaned in close and told him to knock it off.
Gracie climbed into Kayne’s lap when Isabelle vacated it sometime later. She held something shiny in his face. “Look, mine pretty.”
“Very pretty.” Kayne flashed her an indulgent smile.
Not one to be denied, Gracie planted her little hands on his cheeks and made eye contact. “Mine pretty. Look.”
So Kayne obeyed. And froze. Gracie's “pretty” looked exactly like the necklace he'd given Oksana the day Tasha had been born. He felt the air being sucked out of his lungs. He blinked a couple times to be sure he wasn't imaging it, but the pendant didn't disappear.
Jessica laid a hand on his arm. “Kayne, what's wrong?”
He barely heard her through the roar of blood pulsing through his arteries.
“Where did you get this?” He could hardly hold the pendant, he was shaking so badly.
Jessica hesitated, her eyes giving away her internal debate. Finally she made eye contact. “Gracie was wearing it the night Jarred rescued her.”
“You've known about it all this time, and you didn't say anything?” He knew his voice was too loud, but my God, he'd trusted her. He'd laid his soul out for her, let her see his misery and pain, and all this time she'd fucking known who Gracie was and hadn't said anything?
Del leaned forward and laid a hand on his shoulder. “Kayne, what is going on?”
“This necklace. I gave it to Oksana the day Tasha was born. It disappeared the day Tasha did.”
Jessica shook her head quickly. “No, you must be mistaken.”
Like hell he was.
Oh, God. He was holding Tasha. She was alive, and she was safe, and she was in his arms. He pushed all other thoughts from his mind, and his heart soared in the moment. His sweet baby girl was alive.
Gracie scrunched her brow up. “No cry, a'kay?” Then she hugged him.
“Okay.” But God, he couldn't help it.
“Kayne, look at me.” Jessica’s voice was demanding, but he didn’t want to deal with the anger he felt bubbling just below the surface. He didn't want to take his eyes off Tasha, terrified she'd somehow disappear, that he'd wake up and this moment would have only been a dream.
Del stood up. “Let’s take this outside.”
Kayne knew he was causing a scene, but if anyone else were in his shoes they'd be causing one hell of a scene too.
Jessica tried to take Tasha from him, and he shoved her hand away though not with enough force to hurt. No way in hell was he letting his little girl go. Didn't she have any idea what she'd done to him? How could she have kept Tasha's identity a secret?
“Kayne, hand me my daughter.” Her panicked voice left no room for argument. “Kayne, please, hand her to me, you're scaring me.”
Damn it, he wasn't completely immune to the pleading in her voice or the fear in her eyes, but he couldn’t let Tasha go. He couldn’t.
Del placed a firm grip on his shoulder. “Kayne, hand Jess the baby and walk outside.”
***
Jess wasn't sure what was going on, but she could tell Kayne was losing it. Was it possible that he suffered from PTSD? Something about Gracie's necklace had set him off, and she wasn't sure what to do.
Trace St. Moritz appeared in the aisle. “Hey, what’s going on?”
“We're fine, Trace,” Jess stammered quickly. Whatever was going on with Kayne didn't need to be exacerbated by getting official law enforcement involved. “Everything's fine. Some confusion over Gracie.”
Trace raised an eyebrow, letting Jess know he thought she'd lost her marbles if she expected him to believe that.
Thankfully Kayne—albeit reluctantly—handed Gracie over to Jess and planted his hand beneath her elbow, guiding her out of the sanctuary. While not painful, his grip was nothing like the friendly contact she'd grown accustomed to. In fact, she felt like a prisoner he was escorting to prison.
TWELVE
Del turned on Kayne when they reached the vestibule. “Now what in blazes is going on?”
“That is the necklace I gave Oksana the day Tasha was born. Each gem is a birthstone that represents Oksana, Nikolai, Natalia, and
Tasha's birth months.” He turned to fully face Jessica. “All this time you've known who she was, and you never did a damned thing about it? How could you?” His voice broke.
Jess stood her ground. “You're wrong. She was with her mother that night.”
He shook his head, recalling the conversation with Joe the day of the tanker accident. “No, she was with someone who was dead and couldn't tell you anything. You assumed they were her parents.”
Trace blew out a frustrated sigh. “Kayne, there has to be thousands of those necklaces, at the very least.”
Kayne shook his head. “No, it was custom made, and those are their birthstones. On the back it has an inscription and my initials. Look. It's written in Russian; it translates to, 'With My Last Breath'. I know it's there.”
“Oh my God.” Jessica’s eyes darted up and to the left, a sign she was trying to pull a memory instead of creating a lie, but eventually she said, “Maybe the necklace was lost?” A hopeful look brightened her face.
“Jessica, you've never seen Natalia's photo, but they look like twins. My God, I should have demanded answers then,” he said half to himself. “How long have you known who she really is? From the beginning? Did you keep her on purpose?” Fuck he was losing it, and he couldn't help it.
Jessica gasped and stepped away. “What? No!”
“That's pretty circumstantial.” Del edged closer to Jessica.
Kayne took a step back. He needed to keep his distance. He was so goddamned mad at her he wasn't sure what he was capable of. And he didn't want to risk hurting her.
Kayne thought frantically for some other way of proving Jessica was holding Tasha, and then he remembered the dream. “She has a crescent moon birthmark over her right ear. It looks like a Cheshire cat smile.” Kayne looked to Jessica for confirmation.
“Oh God.” Jessica sank onto the bench behind her.
“Just for argument’s sake, let’s say she is your missing daughter?” Trace asked. “How did she end up with that couple in the car that night?”
“I don't know!” Kayne tore his attention away from the lone tear trailing down Jessica's color-leeched face long enough to look Trace in the eye. “I don't know what the fuck happened that day!”
“So you’re suggesting someone just magically happened to be there to kidnap a baby while your wife was drowning the other two?”
Kayne flinched at Del’s words. No matter how many times he heard it, or thought it, he'd never become immune to those words.
“Come on, Kayne, think of how that sounds.”
“I don't give a shit how that sounds. I don't know how it happened. I just know Jessica is holding my daughter. I know it.” Kayne pounded a fist against his heart, his voice breaking.
“Maybe you know it because you were there.”
Kayne saw Jessica flinch at the harsh sound of Cody’s voice, but she remained silent. When the hell had he joined them?
Cody taunted, “I think those detectives were right. I think you killed your wife and kids. I bet you gave that baby to someone to hide for you until things cooled off with the cops and you lost track of her.”
How the hell did Cody know so much about the case?
Of course Cody wasn’t done. “So, somehow you’ve finally tracked the kid to Payson and you think you can just snuggle up with Jessica and get your daughter back without being tried for murder.”
Asshole!
Kayne wanted nothing more than to slug Cody. Hard. He owed him one as it was, and the crap he'd just spewed made driving his fist into his face all the more desirable. But one look at Jessica, and he could see the doubt in her eyes. Heartbreak replaced all his anger. Yeah, he'd hoped she wouldn't believe that bullshit, but that's all it had been, he now realized.
Kayne dropped to his knees in front of her. “It's not true. I never knew. I swear to God I had no idea.”
“There's nothing to know, Kayne. She's not Tasha,” Jessica responded hotly.
Del cleared his throat. “There's a congregation full of people just itching for the closing prayer so they can stick their noses in this. Let’s take this someplace we can sit down and try and sort it out.”
Cody laughed, the tone humorless. “No, I'm not letting him anywhere near Jess or the kids.”
Kayne surged to his feet. “Back off!” He’d had enough of Cody’s interference. “You're not a part of this.”
“Like hell I'm not. Anything to do with Jessica has to do with me. I stood by her when she fought for that kid.” He threw his arm out, pointing at Gracie. “Children's Services wanted to take her away, but no, Jess couldn't let her go.” There was a heavy note of disgust in Cody’s voice. “I wish to hell they would have taken her away, or better yet, that she'd just died in the crash!”
Jessica gasped. “How can you say such a thing?”
Kayne took a threatening step toward Cody. The only thing stopping him from beating the shit out of Cody was the fact they were standing in church. Motherfucker!
The foolish idiot pressed on, oblivious to Kayne’s barely restrained fury. “But she survived, and Children’s Services gave in. She's Jessica's now, and you can't take her away!”
“Take her?” Kayne and Jessica said in unison.
Kayne hadn't thought of anything past the fact that Tasha was alive. How could Cody even think that he'd take her from Jessica? Kayne was finally beginning to think clearly enough to realize that if Jessica had known about the necklace, she wouldn't have risked the chance of him seeing it today.
Cody took a threatening step toward Jessica. “You are being so fucking stupid! Use your damn brain. He's trying to take her away from you.”
That son of a bitch! To hell with being in church—Kayne punched Cody. “You ever speak to her like that again,” he said, standing over Cody's prone body. “And I'll do more than deck you.”
“Are you threatening me?” Cody stared up at Kayne as he wiped blood from his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Enough! This is a house of God. Get up, dust off, and walk out.” The blood vessels in Del's forehead stood in relief, a sure sign of his anger.
“I want to press charges for assault. I want him arrested,” Cody demanded as Trace unceremoniously hauled him up off the floor.
Del glared at Cody. “You mean like the charges he filed against you the other day, when you decked him at that accident scene?”
“Do you really want to go down that road, Cody?” Trace asked. “He can still press charges, and he was an officer in uniform.”
Cody reluctantly shook his head. “No.”
Trace cocked his head. “There's the closing hymn. We've got about two minutes to get out of here.”
Hitting Cody had felt good. Kayne wished he could have done it a dozen more times.
“Jessica, take...Gracie.” God it was hard to call her that. “To the Tahoe, I'll get the other kids.” It broke Kayne’s heart to see his baby curled up in a frightened little ball against Jessica. Of course, she didn't understand anything other than all the adults around her were mad and upset, and it had something to do with her.
When Jess nodded and turned to walk away, Cody demanded, “You going to let that psychopath around your kids?”
“I will go get them.”
Kayne’s head snapped left at the unexpected sound of Maddy’s voice. Oh, sweet Jesus, one look at her tear-stained face told him she'd heard and seen too much.
Kayne held out his arms. “Come here, sweet pea.”
Maddy didn't hesitate. She threw herself into his arms and began sobbing uncontrollably.
“I'll get the other kids,” Del said. “We'll meet you by the Tahoe.”
Kayne scooped up Maddy. He nodded toward the exit door. “Jessica, lead the way.”
Kayne could feel someone right behind him as they walked. Joe Sutton's words from the other day about watching his back around Cody ran through his mind. Was the belligerent hose-monkey crazy enough to try something while he held Maddy in his arms?
�
�Right behind you.” Trace. Kayne relaxed slightly.
Maddy lifted her head and made eye contact. “Is it true? Is she really your daughter?”
Hell yes! Kayne opted for diplomacy. “I think so, sweat pea.” He sat Maddy in the front passenger seat of the Tahoe, retrieved some Kleenex from the console, and handed it to her. “We're going to find out.”
Kayne looked down at Gracie, who was curled tightly against Jessica. “Tash... Gracie?” Her eyes were open, but unfocused and glazed.
“Mama, pretty off. No want. Pease. Pease!” Gracie’s eyes filled with tears, and her lip began to quiver “No want. Off!”
God, she was breaking his heart. “What is she saying?”
“She wants the necklace off.” Jessica’s own eyes were brimming with unshed tears.
Kayne reached out and fumbled with the tiny clasp, his hands shaking badly. He managed to unhook the chain. Slowly he turned it over, praying that the words he expected to see would be there.
С моим последним дыханием. With my last breath.
“What does it mean?” Jessica cocked her head questioningly.
“It's a promise. A prayer.” How did he explain words that held meaning only in his heart? Though he’d given them to Oksana, they’d only ever been words.
Kayne released a heavy sigh. “Should I die before I hold you in my arms again, know that my very last thoughts were of you and our beloved children. Know that with my last breath I plead for God to help you find peace and joy in this life without me; that he keep you safe until we are together once more. Know that I whispered, I love you. Forever. With my last breath.”
They were words a husband would say to a beloved wife, the mother of his children. Even with all the turmoil in their relationship, he’d tried his damnedest to love her, and had foolishly believed she'd loved him. But it had been nothing but a lie.
But Jessica? She’d loved and been loved by a hero. One who’d given his life to save Kayne's daughter. And here Kayne stood with Jarred's wife, his family, unworthy of any of it, knowing a good man had sacrificed all of this for a child. Where the fuck was the justice in that?
Razing Kayne Page 10