Kayne looked at the little girls. “Go ask Maddy to give you a snack.”
“Okay!” Isabelle shot to her feet and was off.
“A’Kay!” Gracie echoed, her little arms and legs pumping for all they were worth to keep up.
“I'll show you my man card.” Kayne surged to his feet, ducked, and threw Jess over his shoulder. He ignored her protests and smacked a firm hand down on her butt. Jess stilled, shocked that whether he'd intended it or not, it turned her on.
His hand stroked down one firm globe and across her inner thigh, where only two thin layers of material barred his hand from her quickly dampening sex. He petted her ass again and again as he walked. Stopping in the shadowed alcove under the stairs, he let her slowly slide down the front of him. Her thighs brushed his straining cock. Her nipples rasped against his chest before her toes touched the ground.
He nuzzled her ear, nipping the lobe. “Are you wet for me?”
“Yes.” She shook her head in denial. How could this man who swore he'd never love again make her feel so cherished? So wanted. How could he turn her on with just a word or a heated look when the man who said the words, “I love you” on a regular basis had never been able to? What was the problem? One had repeatedly said the words and never meant them, and the other would never say the words, but would treat her as if he did for as long as he chose to be with her.
Perhaps that was it. With each passing day it felt like the clock ticked faster—
faster to the end, like the timer on a bomb, and when it reached zero, her world would explode. Damn!
No, not now! She was close to tears even thinking about it. The thought of goodbye constricted her chest and brought an ache to her throat. “Touch me.” God please, just touch me.
Kayne cupped her face with his hands and studied her for a moment. Did he see all that she was fighting to hide? Did he know that he had the power to destroy her world with a single word? If he could see the love she felt for him, would he acknowledge it, or would he throw it in her face? The truth was, she had nothing to offer that would bind him to her. Jess shut her eyes with the pain, remembering another man, another moment.
“I'm sick of this shit.” Jarred picked up a ceramic container and threw it, shattering it against the kitchen wall.
“It's not enough for me anymore.” He looked right through her. “You're not enough. I hate this goddamned life we're living. I hate us pretending I'm not fucking someone else because you don't like having sex. God, Jessica, do you have any idea how that makes me feel? You're the sweetest person I know, but I don’t know how to love you. I hate coming home at night. I sit out in that damn truck and have to talk myself into getting out and walking in the door. I need out before I end up hating you.”
He took her in his arms for a moment, and she was too stunned to do anything to stop him. He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I'm so sorry. I thought I could do this. I thought I wanted this life, but I don't. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant for it to end this way, but it's over. I want a divorce.” With that, he picked up his keys and walked out and never came home again.
“Jess?” Kayne tilted her chin up.
No, no no! She didn't want to hear worry or concern in his voice, she was fine. She. Was. Fine!
“Touch me.” She pressed her trembling lips against his.
***
Kayne wasn't sure what was wrong, where Jess had gone for that moment. She'd looked at him as if he’d reached in and ripped out her heart, and his own constricted in response. He closed his eyes, brushing his lips against hers. Slowly he made love to her with his mouth, all the while his hands never leaving her face. Each time Jess tried to deepen the kiss, to speed things up, he slowed it back down. Jess whimpered her frustration, but he refused to be rushed. He refused to let whatever ghost was chasing her come between them.
He traced the shell of her ear with the tip of his tongue. “Unbutton your blouse,” he whispered. “Just a little, enough for me to suckle your sweet little nipples.”
Though her hands quaked, she instantly complied.
“Oh, yeah, that's it, baby,” he praised, even as he brushed aside her bra and palmed her breast. “You have to be quiet.” He ducked down, taking one tight rosy nipple into his mouth and sucking ever so gently. More a caress of lips and tongue than actual suckling, still she whimpered.
“Please.” She cupped his head, holding him to her, arching into him. There was a desperation in her voice Kayne didn't understand.
“Baby, talk to me.” He reached under her skirt and eased her panties aside. He gave her one long stroke, parted her silky folds, and circled her clit before plunging a finger deep.
“No.” She shook her head even as her hips rocked against his hand. “I need you, Kayne. Please. Inside me. Now.”
“Tonight, baby. I promise tonight, just let me take the edge off for you—”
“No.” She shoved his hand from between her thighs. “No,” she said again, but she didn't let go. Instead she brought his glistening fingers to her lips and enveloped them. He watched in a haze of lust as she sucked them into her mouth one by one, licking every drop of herself off.
Kayne leaned in and kissed her, loving the taste of her on her lips. “I just want to watch you come for me, baby.” He wanted to hold her in his arms, hear her sexy little kitten noises as she lost control.
Jess grabbed his hand, dragged him into her office, then closed and locked the door. She reached for the intercom before he could ask her what she was doing. “Maddy, take Isabelle and Gracie down to the playroom. You and Ash can do your homework there while they play. I'll double all of your allowances for the week if you can behave for the next hour.”
That received an enthusiastic round of “Yes, ma'am!”
The second Jess switched off the intercom, Kayne had her on the edge of her desk, his mouth devouring hers. Christ, everything she did made his blood boil.
“It’s such a fucking turn on to know you can't wait,” he murmured against her neck.
Kayne trailed hot, open-mouthed kisses across her exposed skin. He wasn't foolish enough to think they had unlimited time. They had fifteen, maybe twenty minutes tops before a referee would be needed. Yet still he had to taste her, touch her.
Jess was begging by the time he knelt in front of her naked body. Her breasts heaved with desire, her rosy puckered nipples still glistened from his attention, as he buried his face in the juncture of her thighs.
Nuzzling her, he inhaled deeply, lazing in the scent of her arousal. He loved the way she smelled, tasted. She was the perfect combination of sweet and spicy as though she'd been made especially for him. His own personal bouquet. He dipped his tongue between her folds, giving one long firm lick up and across her hard nub. Jess shuddered in response, moaning even as her thighs contracted around his head.
“Easy, baby.” He spread her bare lips with his thumbs. For a moment, he stared at the beauty of her delicate pink skin, at the plumped folds that protected her core, at the swollen little clit hooded from him. “So beautiful. Edible.”
His sweet kitten turned into a wild cat when he leaned in and gently nibbled her glistening pearl. Clamping an arm on her thighs and a hand low over her belly to keep her still, he thrust his tongue into her as deep as he could go and felt her body contract. God, she was close, so goddamn close to the edge, but he wasn't willing to let her go under. Not yet. He tongue fucked her, alternating between shallow quick thrusts and long lingering penetrations, paying close attention to the sounds she made, keeping her right on the edge.
“Please, Kayne,” she panted. “I need you inside me.”
“Turn around,” he ordered, sounding more cop than husband as he surged to his feet. “Turn around, baby,” he whispered in her ear as he physically turned her and placed both her hands on the desk in front of her.
“W-what, why?” She glanced nervously over her shoulder.
Kayne had his pants down around his hips in seconds. “I can't wa
it any longer, baby.” He stepped up behind her, nudging her legs apart. Settling against her thighs, his cock resting heavy on her tailbone.
“Like this?” Her brow furrowed with doubt, she bit her lower lip.
Was she serious?
Of course she was; she'd never been taken from behind. Kayne wanted to howl as he beat his chest in Neanderthalic satisfaction. Heady indeed.
“Trust me, baby. You’ll like this.” He pulled her back against him, one hand cupping her breast, his thumb and finger teasing an oversensitive nipple while his other hand palmed her belly and pulled her tight, letting her feel his erection nestled between them.
Kayne whispered in her ear, explaining how he planned to take her, building her desire back up, walking a razor’s edge of his own.
“Lean on the desk.” Bending with her, he nibbled her neck, lightly bit her shoulder. A lion dominating his mate before mounting her. He teased her, stroking the length of his shaft through her slick folds, feeling her shudder with each pass over her most sensitive flesh.
Jess tried to shift her hips to take him inside. “Please. I need you.”
Jesus Christ, he needed her too.
He poised, ready to feed his throbbing cock into her swollen sex. “Say my name,” he growled.
“Kayne,” she panted.
“That’s right, baby, it’s me here with you. Only me.” He entered her slowly, sinking further and further with each gentle thrust until he was fully embedded.
He clenched his teeth, fighting for control. “Am I hurting you?”
“No.” Her inner muscles contracted and relaxed. She gasped when he pressed deeper.
“You like?” He flexed his hips.
Jess planted her hands and pushed back into him in response, moaning as she rocked forward, dragging almost off of him before thrusting backward and impaling herself.
With that simple act, all civility left Kayne. He rode her hard. Long drags and deep plunges. His fingers danced across her pebbled nipples. He sucked her delicate skin, marking her neck, and she purred. He bit her shoulder hard, dominating her. Claiming her. Jess bowed up, every muscle clenched and convulsed. ”Oh God, Kayne!”
But he wasn't done with her, not even close. He was thoroughly out of control, and his only thought was mine. She was his, and he was branding her. Marking her as his. Ruining her for all others. There was no one else for her, and by God she was going to realize that.
Kayne pulled out and turned her around to face him. “Hold on to me.” He wrapped her arms around his neck, not waiting for her orgasm-fogged response. His movements were quick, jerky. Rough. He didn't feel gentle, he felt primal, possessive. She needed to know she was his, and he wasn't letting her go. He was done sharing her with a goddamned ghost.
Kayne lifted her, spreading her thighs wide, plunging into her as he backed her into the wall. Fucking her.
Not. Letting. Her. Go.
Jess dug her heels into the small of his back, and Christ almighty, she was clawing the hell out of his shoulders and back. She was as out of control as he was, and he wanted to howl with the pleasure of it all.
He gave no quarter, and she offered none in return, yet his mind fought release. Then she shattered a second time and pulled him into the dark waves of ecstasy with her. Kayne threw back his head and roared in satisfaction.
THIRTY-ONE
Kayne held Jess close as they descended the stairs on Thursday night. They hadn't talked about what had transpired in Jess's office Monday afternoon, even if he still bore the marks on his back. He felt his dick stir at the memory. Down, boy! They also hadn't discussed whatever ghosts she'd been running from in that moment before she turned to him.
“Baby, are you feeling okay?” He brushed his lips across her forehead.
She’d been falling asleep the moment her head hit the pillow every night, barely rousing when he crawled into bed and took her in his arms.
She looked at him, her expression apologetic, and perhaps lined with a small amount of fear. “I'm so sorry, I'm just tired—”
He laid a finger against her lips. “Don’t. I'm the one who’s sorry. I've been keeping you up half the night, even though you're busy from sun up to well past time the kids go to sleep. I have no willpower when it comes to you, and I’ve been thoughtless to your needs. It’s okay to tell me ‘no.’ At least once in a while.”
“I like that you reach for me in the night,” she whispered so softly he wasn't sure he'd heard her.
“Baby, don't you know you're my lodestone?” He pulled her around to face him. “My needle always points toward your sweet little kitty,” he said huskily.
Jess giggled as he’d hoped she would. “My kitty?” She was so beautiful, but when she laughed, when she was happy, it was incomparable. Lord, how he loved her.
He brushed the hair back from her face with both hands. “My kitty,” he mock growled. “And it's a very nice kitty at that. It loves to be petted and purrs in response, and it's very happy when I feed it wild cock.”
Jess laughed and blushed a little. He loved that about her too. That beautiful sweet innocence that radiated from her, opposite of the life he'd lead before her.
He kissed her softly, then rested his forehead against hers. “I reach for you in my sleep because I dream of you, Jess. Hot erotic dreams where you're doing wicked things to me with your mouth, and I'm doing things to your sweet body that I'm sure are illegal in some states.”
Damn, if she didn't turn three shades of red at that admission. And that plump bottom lip of hers disappeared behind her teeth.
He gently ran his thumb across those lips. “Those fantasies are so vivid, sometimes I can't tell where dream ends and reality begins. Later, I realize all the while I was actually touching you, readying your beautiful body to take me, but it's not until I'm over you and in you that I know I'm awake. Then it's so clear what was dream and what is reality that I wonder how I could ever confuse the two.”
He felt her flinch and he knew what she was thinking, and his heart broke. How could anyone have ever made her doubt her worth? “Reality is so, so much better than dream. You are so much better than any dream I’ve ever had.”
Jess wrapped herself around Kayne and clung to him. Her heart physically ached from holding the words “I love you” inside. She couldn't say them first. Not this time, not with this man. If she voiced those feelings, she would be giving him the power to crush her. She now realized she'd never loved Jarred. Not really. She'd been in love with the idea of him. She'd loved the way he romanced her. In the beginning, he'd made her feel like she was the only one who mattered, but it had all been a lie. Now she understood there had never been chemistry between her and Jarred. She'd never craved him the way she did Kayne. Maybe that had been their downfall. Maybe Jarred had been in love with the idea of her, too.
Kayne was different in so many ways. He made her blood sing. Hell, she got wet merely talking to him over the phone. She loved the way he dropped his voice, all dark and husky, and it didn't matter what he said, it turned her on. He could probably make her orgasm reciting a grocery list if he tried hard enough.
She loved the way he constantly touched her. Sometimes sweet and innocent; a brush of lips to her temple, a caress of his knuckles down her cheek. Sometimes it was hot, frantic, have-to-have-you-right-now, vertical sex. Lots of times it was somewhere in between. Regardless of the setting, if she was within reach, his hands were on her, and it seemed he went out of his way to make sure she was within touching distance.
He gently tugged her arm. “Come on, baby, you're exhausted. I want to take you to bed. I want to hold you while we sleep.”
And he did. She slept wrapped safely in his arms until the wee hours of the morning when the dreams claimed him. She gasped awake as he surged inside of her, her body on fire from the dream he'd dragged her willingly into, and she clung to him as he took her with slow deep strokes, whispering her name again and again, as if he knew she needed to know he was with her, until orgasm c
laimed them.
THIRTY-TWO
Friday morning found Jess dragging herself out of bed. Kayne had long since left for work, and she needed to get the children dressed, fed, and off to school.
Throughout the morning she thought of Kayne, of the things he'd said to her, of the way he'd made love to her in the middle of the night. He hadn't said the words, hadn't told her he'd decided to stay, and yet her traitorous heart couldn't help but wonder and hope.
If he did stay, how would she feel spending a lifetime with a man who didn't love her? She knew he cared for her. He showed her that every day in so many little ways. But would it be enough to know he simply honored her and their marriage? Or would it slowly eat at her soul to know she wasn't special enough to make him forsake his vow to never fall in love? To always wonder if he dreamed of a different life, but was simply far too honorable to ever admit he'd made a mistake in staying?
Kayne's honor was one of the things she loved most about him, but it was also his downfall. His word meant everything to him, and once he made a commitment, he'd honor it or die trying. That honor also meant he'd never give her meaningless words, like Jarred had. How many times had he said he loved her and walked out the door and into the arms of another woman?
Shouldn't it be enough to have a man who treated her well, but was never able to say the words? Yes, damn it, it should. It should be enough. She knew people who searched a lifetime to have the type of relationship she and Kayne had. They were friends who worked together side by side for the sake of their children, and they had unbelievable chemistry. So why wasn't it enough? Why couldn't she be happy with the here and now and pray that he never went away?
Regrettably she knew the answer. For once in her life she wanted to be loved because a man chose to, not because he had to.
Jess pushed the depressing thoughts out of her mind. The truth was, Kayne had never been given a choice. She’d been part of the package deal of Gracie.
“Come on, kiddos,” Jess said to Isabelle and Gracie. “Mama is running late, and Grandma Polly is waiting for you.”
Razing Kayne Page 27