She swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. “What if Julia’s not there? Then what? Are you still going to kill him?”
“Someone there knows where she is.” Again, the cold steel of Slade’s eyes made her shiver. He looked over at Killian. “I want you to track down a woman named Beckett Harper. She had information about this ring, and I think we’re going to need more answers.”
Killian shook his head. “No. I’m going with you. I’m in this, and I’m going there tonight, either at your side or by myself. Your choice which one.” He stood up. “I’m used to going solo, but I’ll make an exception for you.”
Slade swore. “You sound like me,” he muttered.
Killian grinned. “God, I hope not. You’re a ruthless bastard. I, at least, have emotion.” His smile faded, and he nodded at the cameras still tracking the armed men pacing around his building. “How are we going to get past them?”
“It’s no problem. I have contingencies.” Slade glanced at his watch. “The event is at seven. That gives us twelve hours to prepare. Take one of my tuxes from the right side. Those are for work.”
Anya swallowed. “We’re really going to walk right in the front door?”
“Yep. It’s the best way. No one will be looking for us to do that.” He looked at Killian. “Don’t get killed,” he said quietly.
Killian’s eyes darkened. “No chance of that. I have files that will help. I’m going to get my stuff from my truck. I’ll be back in a sec.”
Slade watched his brother go. He listened to his footsteps down the hall as he turned his gaze to Anya, who was staring at his computer screen, carefully going over the names of the attendees to the event. Her brow was furrowed, and she was concentrating intently. There was no fear in her eyes, just calm, steady focus.
Neither Killian nor Anya seemed afraid of going on this mission with him.
They were the amateurs, and yet, they were ready and confident.
He was the Black Swan, the deadliest badass to walk the earth, and he was absolutely fucking terrified.
Chapter 22
Anya had never felt beautiful in her life. She’d never even felt like a woman. But as she gazed at herself in the dressing room mirror, she was stunned. Slade had arranged for a private shopping tour before Parker’s event. She’d been met by two women, one to do her hair and makeup, while the other assembled an outfit. Aware of the short deadline, they’d moved efficiently and respectfully, Slade’s vast coffers buying their confidence and their expertise.
And now, here she stood. The diamond and sapphire necklace at her throat was cold and heavy, purchased in cash by Slade. Her diamond studs sparkled like the sun on a tropical ocean. Her hair was flawless and perfect, in an elegant updo that defied the laws of gravity.
“You ready?” Slade knocked lightly against the door of the dressing room she’d retreated into to slip on the dress once her hair and makeup were done.
“No.” She didn’t turn around to face him. She didn’t know what to do with what she saw in the mirror.
He pulled the door open, and she watched his face as he saw her. His gaze swept over her in the mirror, from her hair, to her jewels, to her breasts, and all the way down to the elegant shoes that cradled her feet. His face softened, and her heart started to pound. “It’s not me,” she whispered, preempting any comment about how she looked. “I don’t know how to be like this.” The dress sapped her confidence, and she couldn’t afford that right now.
He walked into the dressing room and stood behind her, setting his hands on her shoulders. She met his gaze in the mirror, searching his face for something to ground her.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, rubbing his thumbs over the back of her shoulders.
“I just—” She waved her hands at the gown. “How can I run in this? How can I fight? How can I hide? How can I blend? How can I—-”
He pressed a kiss to the nape of her neck, and she snapped her lips together, chills racing down her spine as she stared at him. “Look at yourself,” he said softly, running his hands down her arms. “Look at the beautiful, elegant woman in the mirror.”
She kept her gaze on him. “Slade—”
“Just look at her.”
She dragged her gaze off him and stared at herself. She saw the paleness of her cheeks, the fear in her wide eyes, the trembling of her hands. Her shoulders looked too thin, her arms fragile. She looked—
“Beautiful,” he said. “Sexy. Dangerous as hell.” He pressed a kiss to her bare shoulder, and her stomach turned. “But that doesn’t lessen your strength. It adds to it. You don’t need to hide who you are to be a badass.”
“You hide who you are.”
“No, I don’t. I walk straight into wherever I need to go, and I use the strength of my energy to dominate and make things happen the way I want. I use my cat when I need to, but that’s not often because I’m so good at my job.” He slid his arms around her, pulling her back against his chest.
She felt the daggers at her back dig into his chest. There was also one strapped to each thigh and each ankle. Her wrist cuffs also hid knives, as did her updo. She had eleven knives stashed on her body, but the woman in the mirror seemed too elegant to use them. “I want my jeans,” she said.
He shook his head. “Anya, sweetheart, you spent your life hiding. You hid from the world, you hid from your leopard, and you hid from the fact that you’re a woman. It’s okay to step up, to embrace who you are, to find your strength.”
“Slade—”
“When I look at you in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman determined to slay any monster that gets in her way,” he said softly, resting his cheek against hers. “I also see the fire in your eyes.” He traced his finger along her jaw. “I see a fierce warrior. I see a woman so brave and courageous. I see a queen ready to take on her world.”
She laughed softly. “A queen?”
“Yes.” He cupped her jaw, his fingers warm and tantalizing against her skin. “Look at yourself, Anya. See what I see.”
She took a deep breath, and did as he instructed. She looked at herself, really looked at herself for the first time. She was accustomed to looking for fear in her eyes, for circles under her eyes, for the wan tint to her skin. Instead, she looked at the fierce set to her mouth. She looked at the way she was standing, with her weight on both feet, ready. She let herself see the fire in her eyes. She allowed herself to feel the steady beat of her heart. She even allowed herself to feel the cat pacing beneath her skin, waiting to be released. Slowly, she took a deep breath, allowing air to fill her lungs and chase away the panic.
Slade smiled and tightened his arms around her, still resting his cheek against hers as she met his gaze in the mirror.
She wrapped her fingers around his wrist. “I don’t know how to be this person, one who wears a fancy dress, goes to a party, and faces down the man she’s supposed to run from.”
“We’re even, then.” His smile faded. “I don’t know how to be the guy who walks into a danger zone with a woman on his arm that he cares about, a woman whose death would break what little remains of his soul.”
Her breath caught, and suddenly, she couldn’t breathe. Silence rose between them, as they stared at each other in the mirror.
“This man murdered my father, my mother, and my sister,” Slade said. “He’s the reason I became what I am. And now I’m bringing you and Killian in there with me.” His biceps tightened involuntarily. “For the first time in my life, I want to run,” he said softly. “I want to throw you over my shoulder, and run, and never look back.”
Tears threatened. She knew what those words cost him. He was a man who’d spent his life being invincible, and yet he’d just admitted his vulnerability to her. “I want to run, too,” she whispered. “With you.”
They locked gazes in the mirror, and her throat tightened at the raw yearning in his dark eyes. There was nothing more to say, though, because Julia was out there somewhere, and his family’s souls were still haunting him. �
�No matter what happens,” she said, her voice raw, “I won’t regret going in there. I’d rather fight with you, than run away alone. You’ve made my heart start to beat again, and I’d rather love you for a short time, than live an eternity never knowing what it felt like to feel my strength.” She’d said it aloud, and she knew he’d heard when his arms tightened around her.
“You love me?” he asked, his voice so soft and full of wonder that she almost smiled.
“Of course I do. You know that.” She met his gaze. “And you love me, too.”
He didn’t answer her. He didn’t confirm it, and he didn’t deny it. Instead, he turned her in his arms and pulled her against him, burying his face in the crook of her neck. Anya wrapped her arms around him and pulled him tight, holding onto him with all the strength in her body.
For a long moment, neither of them moved, then she heard the sound of Killian approaching, his steps feather-light despite his muscular frame.
Slade pulled back, searching her face. “Despite Julia, and despite my parents, if I hadn’t made a deal to protect you, I’d take you and hide. I really would.” His fingers dug into her hips. “I can’t lose you, Anya.”
Her throat tightened. He was so raw and vulnerable right now, everything that he hadn’t been when she’d first met him. “That’s why I love you,” she whispered. “Because you’ve let me see your heart.”
He closed his eyes. “I don’t want to feel like this,” he said, his voice raw. “I need to not care. It’s the only way I can do this.”
Killian knocked once and then stuck his head in the dressing room without waiting for a reply. His eyes were glittering. “It’s time, kids. The party starts in ten minutes.”
Slade looked up and met his brother’s gaze. As they looked at each other, she saw resolution flood Slade’s eyes. It wasn’t only her who mattered anymore. It was also his brother who was at risk as well. Somehow, Killian’s appearance galvanized him. His muscles tightened, his shoulders drew back, and his jaw got hard. “If the situation goes south, I want you to take Anya and get out. Keep her safe. Keep both of you safe.”
Killian glanced at Anya, his jaw flexing. “No way, bro. Living safe isn’t living. I’m in this until the end, and if I die trying, then I’ll take as many of those bastards down with me as I can.”
A slow smile spread across Anya’s face, and courage seemed to flood her. “I agree. What’s the point of surviving if those you love don’t?” She looked at Slade. “If we die, we die, Slade. Just don’t let me be taken by them. I’d rather die.”
Slade’s fingers tightened on her arms, and fury flared in his eyes. “I won’t let them take you,” he said, his voice low and cold, the voice of the lethal warrior he needed to become.
She smiled. “Then let’s do it.”
Killian stepped back, holding the door open. “You look great, by the way, Anya.”
She smiled at him as she walked past him. “Back at ya, Killian.”
“Hey.” Slade caught up, sliding his hand onto the crook of her elbow. “He’s wearing my damn tux. It doesn’t look good on anyone except me.”
Anya smiled and pressed her hand to his chest. “He’s not nearly as hot as you are, Slade. You’re still the only one I really see,” she said, referring to his concern that she would be imagining someone else when they kissed.
He scowled at her. “It better be that way.”
“What the hell?” Killian touched the cufflink, and a small blade shot out of the sleeve into his hand. “Are they all like this?”
Slade grinned. “And so much more. Did you check the inside jacket pocket?”
As Killian reached inside his jacket to find the weapon Slade had stashed there, Anya couldn’t help but smile as the two brothers went over the tux in detail, with Slade showing Killian all the special surprises the tux held. They were like boys with their toys, only the toys were deadly weapons, and the boys were lethal shifters about to avenge the murder of their loved ones.
Her smile faded as they reached the front door of the store. The women who’d helped her were gone, leaving just the three of them.
The battle was about to start. Could they really win against a foe who had already taken down almost everyone they loved? As they walked out the front door to Slade’s waiting Escalade, her hands closed into fists. These two men were all she had left in the world, except for Julia. She wasn’t letting them go, and she wasn’t giving up until Julia was with them…no matter what it took.
No matter what it took.
No. Matter. What. It. Took.
She looked down at her wrist cuffs, and she thought about the blades stashed in them. Blades she’d have to get to in a hurry. Blades that could be taken away from her. Danger wasn’t the only thing she’d been running away from in her life. She’d been running from herself.
She stopped as Slade opened the passenger door for her, looking up into his glittering eyes. “How do I take it off?”
He frowned. “Take what off?”
She swallowed, her heart pounding. “The tattoo on my foot. The one that keeps me from shifting?”
Silent tension rose between them. “Don’t let them know what you are,” Slade said softly. “Keep it on.”
She met his gaze. “How do I take it off?” She was certain he knew how to remove it. “That’s my strength, Slade. I need to be able to call on it if I need to.” She met his gaze. “She’s faster, deadlier, and more cunning than I am, isn’t she?”
He glanced at Killian, who was leaning over the seat, listening to the conversation. “She’s not separate from you, Anya,” Killian said. “Her strength is a part of you. She is you. You need her.” He looked at Slade. “You need to call upon your cat more often as well. We’re predators, at the pinnacle of the food chain, and you both are undercutting yourselves not to embrace it.”
Slade’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t need my cat.”
“Yes, you do. We all do. For hell’s sake, we’re going into the lion’s den in five minutes. You need to be prepared to do whatever it takes, including showing the world what you are.”
Slade swore under his breath. “Shut up, Killian.”
His brother leaned forward. “You know how to take it off, don’t you? Tell her, Slade. Or live with her death if she can’t protect herself when she needs to.”
Anya held her breath as she waited, looking at Slade. “Can I take it off myself?”
“Yes.”
Oh, God. “How?” She didn’t want to know, did she? Yes, she did. Killian was right. A white leopard was her power, her strength, not a weakness. If she was going into the devil’s lair, she needed all her weapons. If she was going to face death, she had to be ready to do whatever it took to survive. “Tell me now.”
He met her gaze, and suddenly she heard his voice in her head, whispering an ancient chant, one with no words, just guttural sounds and a heavy beat. Heat raced through her, and her foot tingled right where the tattoo was. “Do that until it’s off,” he said. “Five times.”
“Does that count as one?” She played the chant in her head again, memorizing the beat and the intonations.
“No. It has to be aloud, and you have to press your palm to it. Envision dragging it off your skin while you chant, using your power to free yourself.” He glanced at Killian, and she realized he’d shared it with his brother as well.
“How do you know?” she asked him. “How do you know it will work?”
“My mom put one on me when I was born. I took it off.”
She stared at him in shock. “You did? How old were you?”
“I took it off the day after my dad died. I was done hiding.” Headlights flashed across the road, and he looked up sharply. “Get in the car. We need to go.”
She didn’t hesitate. She grabbed the handle and leapt up into the SUV, moving so fast that she overshot and crashed into the steering wheel. She grimaced and rubbed her hip as she scooted back into her seat, trying to ignore Killian and Slade staring at her.
“Yeah.”
Anya glared at both of them. “So, I had a klutz moment—” She stopped at the expressions on both their faces. Surprise. Respect. Anticipation. “What?”
“You moved like a cat,” Slade said.
She stared at him. “What?”
“You moved like a cat.” He raised his brows at her, studying her thoughtfully. “I’ve never seen you move like that.”
Anya tensed at his words. “Is that why I overshot my seat?”
“Yeah.” Slade leaned in the doorway, his muscular frame dwarfing her as he studied her. “That one time doing the chant in your head shouldn’t have made a difference, but it did.” He ran his hand over her arm, and tingles shot through her. “I can feel the cat now,” he said, his eyes suddenly shifting into cat eyes. “She’s waking up.”
Anya could feel her sliding beneath her skin, a slow, deliberate purr rumbling through her. “Then Parker will be able to tell.”
“He’s not a cat. He won’t feel this.” Slade leaned into her, his voice low. “You are dangerous, Anya. You shouldn’t have any cat skills with this tattoo on your foot, but you’re already moving differently.” His eyes glowed. “You’re powerful.”
Her heart started to pound at the feral gleam in his eyes, and suddenly, she wanted to do the chant again, to see how far she could go, to move into Slade’s world of power, grace, and lethalness. “I’m a cat.”
“More than a cat.” He nuzzled her neck, sending chills down her spine. “My leopard wants yours,” he whispered. “He never wants any particular female, but he wants you. He wants to see her. Now.”
Heat poured through Anya, and she shifted restlessly, as if her skin was suddenly too small for her. The tattoo on her foot burned, and she instinctively rubbed it, trying to take the sting out, but as she did, the chant Slade had taught her ran through her mind. Pain spiked in her foot, and sudden heat roared through her.
Slade swore and locked his hand around the back of her neck. He pulled her toward him and sank his mouth down onto hers in a primal kiss of claiming and ownership. His energy poured into her, igniting every cell it touched, making her leopard shift restlessly. She gripped his shoulders, unable to stop herself from responding to his kiss. Her entire body burned for him, calling for his leopard—
Leopard's Kiss (Shadow Guardians) (Shadows Guardians Book 1) Page 23