by Cheri, Ann
“HELP!” I screamed, but the little opening crashed shut, the light blinking about above me. Once again I found myself crawling toward the door, sweeping my hands around for the delivery. I found the pan first. A quick touch found bread and some kind of sliced meat. After a few minutes, I’d gathered everything and returned to the bed.
I didn’t know where I was, couldn’t guess why they were keeping me, but the meal did tell me one thing. Jude was on the other side of that door. My teeth sank into another bite. Ham and pastrami, just how I always ate it. A glimmer of hope rose up. I didn’t belong to Jude anymore, didn’t belong in his world, but if Jude was here that meant Black would be here soon… Swallowing hard, I pushed my tears back and took a good long drink.
Black will save me…
The thought left me hollow. I couldn’t just sit here waiting forever. My voice welled up again, but this time, I had to know.
“JUDE! PLEASE! HELP ME!”
I could hear the boots. I’d heard them before. There was a time when I feared them because I knew the pain they would bring. Now, all I wanted was to see his face, to see…
Murder eyes.
Jude stood in the doorway grinning like a madman.
“About fucking time you call for me sweetheart. Starting to feel nostalgic?”
I sized him up. He looked even more fearsome than ever, his chest flexing beneath a Kings cut. The door closed behind him.
“Jude… Let me out of here, please.”
“Let you out? What? So you can run back to your cripple?”
Jude’s eyes were predatory, tracing across my body as he approached. I looked down at his hand, a long leather strip dangling to the floor. His hand reached out, my body wincing away from him as he touched my cheek more delicately than I ever expected from him. Then came the slap I knew all too well.
“Please…” I gasped, looking up for forgiveness.
The sound of metal clicking into place snapped near my ear.
“On your knees.”
“Please!” I whimpered.
“I said GET ON YOUR KNEES!” Jude shouted, pulling at the leather strap and sending me crashing off the bed to the floor. He’d put a leash on me. I shivered from head to toe.
Why did you run? Why the fuck did you run?
“Crawl.”
I didn’t move. I curled into a ball on the floor. Jude’s boot crashed into my ribs painfully.
“CRAWL.”
My body found itself moving without any assistance from my mind. It was easier this way. I always pulled inward, just let my body do the work… I crawled.
“Now that’s not so hard is it?”
“No, Jude.”
“I’m not Jude to you. You don’t fucking deserve that. I’m your master. Now CRAWL!” he shouted again, his boot lifting from the floor and dropping back down as I moved toward the door. The humiliation filled me, but deep down, I felt the anger. I kept it, nurtured it, shielded myself in it. Maybe today wasn’t my day, but there would be tomorrow, or the next. Sooner or later, I would find my way out of this as long as I held onto that little fire inside…
“Up. Get up there.”
I stared up the darkened stairwell from my little cell. Trying to lift myself up to my feet, Jude kicked me back down.
“I said crawl.”
I turned my head, pleading, my mouth opening to speak.
“You say one word up there. Even one. I’ll cut your fucking tongue out. Do you understand?”
I went dead inside as Jude walked me up the stairs like an animal, and soon I saw the main floor. It looked familiar, a warehouse turned clubhouse not unlike the Rampant’s home. This one was different in one key way…
The women.
The Rampant enjoyed their pussy, and I’d met a few of the girls that made their way through the club life, but they were there by choice. Whether it was for money or a good time away from some aloof husband, drugs or a one night fling, they were free to come and free to go…
A metal o-ring came up from the floor with leather leashes tied onto it, a circle of chairs surrounding the little concrete pleasure pit. Three naked women were on their knees tied to that post. They looked dirty, used, abused…
They looked vacant.
I caught the eyes of a thin blonde as she worked, but she made no flash of recognition.
“Fresh blood huh Jude. Where’d you find this beauty?”
“Just some bitch off the street.” Jude said, smiling. “Thought I’d do my part for club business.”
“She’ll fetch some dead sexy money with a pair of tits like those… You break her in yet?”
“Hoping you guys would help me with that,” Jude said, grinning viciously.
I looked around, all eyes on me as even the other girls pulled away from the bikers seated around the circle.
“We can do that,” the big leather clad man replied, waving to the others. “How about we start right now?”
I shivered in place, but Jude stopped the man, holding his hand in the air. “No, not yet. I want her to see what’s going to happen. I want her to have a few days to think about it first.”
“Fine by me. Enjoy the show little lady. Might consider taking notes, because I’m going to personally fuck you raw.”
Jude kept me like that, on my hands and knees watching, but he didn’t let anyone touch me…
Days and nights blended together in my little room. It felt like I’d been here forever. Laying in the bed with nothing else to do, I found myself checking over the squeaking cot. Thick metal springs ran under the mattress, stretching as I moved. I felt for the edge, prying one loose and unhooking it from the edge. It came free, and I lay there quietly feeling the rough metal. As food arrived, I scratched a line into my thigh, feeling for it with my fingertips. Three days? Four? I notched a few more bloody lines. If I kept track of meals, maybe I could keep track of time…
Interrupted from my task by the light flashing on, I settled into another quiet dinner. I knew any day now Jude would tie me to the ring up stairs. I didn’t want to think about that. Deep down, I wanted nothing more than to live, but I didn’t want to live in a world where I had to suffer that kind of abuse.
Jude hadn’t taken me out of the room in awhile. It had been days. Maybe he couldn’t stand to look at me.
I lay the spring down next to the mattress against the wall, moving across the floor and grabbing hold of the food. I’d need my energy to survive, to wait, to live…
Black will come…
I fell asleep, the cold air wrapping around me and making it a restless night.
Jude made it a little more restless.
“Wake up you fucking whore.”
His fist hit my body as my consciousness tried to rouse me, the pain excruciating as it pulsated from my side. More bruises to add to the collection. More pain. My eyes snapped open, the dim light from the hall illuminating the space. Jude stood silently above me.
“Why do you do this to me baby? Why do you make me hurt you like this? Why can’t you just be a good fucking girl?”
I stayed silent, curling up and trying to protect myself, but Jude was forceful.
“I’m sorry Jude…” I whispered, desperate to stop the attack as he pressed me down against the mattress. His eyes burned in the dark, flaring with rage.
“I… I love you Jude… Please!” I said, desperately trying to find some kind of edge to calm him, some way to get under his skin.
The lie felt dirty to my tongue, but I could see his eyes changing, shifting. Murder was still in them, but maybe for someone else.
He pulled away from me.
“You did this to me Jude. You don’t have to do this… I’ll be good, I promise.”
“No. Don’t you fucking lie to me bitch.”
“I love you Jude… Please…”
My body coursed with anger, pain, and frustration. Jude just paced back and forth on the concrete floor. I couldn’t get free in this room, but if I could convince Jude to let me
out…
He gave me one more look before leaving again, the big door closing in his wake.
☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼
Jude started taking me out of the room again the next morning. I scratched another line into my skin as breakfast came, hiding my little spring away as the door opened. Once again, the leather strap locked into my collar, and he made me crawl. Had it finally come to this? Was he going to strap me to the ring in the floor? No women walked in the Kings clubhouse and Jude made no exception for me. Still, I found myself relieved when he didn’t bring me to the circle, or tie me into the ring.
“You thirsty?” Jude said, looking down at me. I just nodded as he pulled two beers down from a shelf and cracked them open, handing one down. I drank greedily, desperate for any release from this hell.
Jude pulled his cellphone out, checking a message before looking back down and letting out a little laugh.
“Baby doll, we’re not in any hurry and you don’t need to be chugging that.”
His eyes weren’t as harsh, not nearly as evil. Maybe some part of him believed me. I’d planted doubt. Why was he acting so nice?
“You know, I like you just like this. Quiet. You look like you’re starting to understand your fucking place.”
I nodded up at him, nuzzling with his leg. Any time I spent here was time not in the hole. There was a chance here. There was freedom here…
It was short lived.
“Put your fucking pet away Jude. Los Locos have a drop coming tomorrow and I need your ass out with Hernandez getting us a truck.”
Jude nodded, and I looked up, noting the big man that had just arrived. He was older than Black, maybe even old enough to be his father. I cast my eyes downward as he met my gaze.
“And tell your bitch to keep her eyes to herself before I teach her some proper fucking respect.”
Jude nodded again but I could see the ferocity behind his movements. He was a monster, but with effort, he could be my monster…
“You heard him, crawl.”
I didn’t want to go back into the hole. Jude reached up, grabbing another bottle from the shelf.
“Here, take it. Now crawl.”
Down the stairs we went and I looked to the door, seeing the long iron bar that slipped into a bracket and held the door shut. It was impossible, there was no escape. The door closed and I did the only thing I could, slamming the beer back and laying in bed, letting the faint buzz relax my nerves. Hours passed, day undoubtedly turning to night somewhere above me, but I couldn’t sleep. Up there, it didn’t matter if it was broad daylight or three in the morning, from where I was laying, it was the darkest night of my life…
I let out a little scream, throwing the bottle at the far wall and listening to it crash in the darkness. Eventually, sleep found me.
☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼
Another meal slid under the door, another scratch went into the wall. I waited for the light to flash on and moved from the bed carefully. The small space was littered with glass, remnants of my little outburst. Almost instinctively, I found myself crawling. My hands carefully swept the shards toward the corner, moving them away as I approached the food. Reaching out, I ate greedily. Today it was some kind of fast food burger, but I didn’t really care. I needed it.
Like some kind of animal I tore through the burger, staring around my space. I’d brushed away most of the glass, but the bigger pieces still lay in the corner.
Bigger pieces…
My hand reached up to the collar, it’s chafing leather cutting a line in my delicate skin. It had become infuriating, almost insufferable, a sign of my ownership. Without bothering with the water I moved, reaching the corner and lifting up the largest piece I could find. It was the neck of the bottle, still intact with long spikes of glass off the bottom. I held it up to my throat and began sawing away, careful to avoid nicking my skin. The blade cut deeply with every swipe, and I anticipated the freedom from this disgusting collar any minute. Faster I drew the blade, faster and faster with every stroke.
Free…
The clasp of leather fell free, my neck singing with joy in the dim room. The light flashed off but I no longer cared. I might die tonight, but I was going to go out without that fucking collar on. I stared in the darkness toward the door, waiting, wishing for it to open. The bottle lay in my hand, my fingers testing the edge. It was sharper than the spring. I pushed it up against my arm, ready to draw another line…
But I couldn’t do it.
I sat there in the dark, and all I could think of was Marcus Black. He had shown me there was another way. I didn’t need to cut myself. I didn’t need to hurt myself…
I could hurt someone else.
My fingers wrapped hard around wickedly sharp piece of glass.
It would work… It would do…
If Black isn’t coming, I’ll save myself…
My body calmed itself, working it’s way back to the bed. The plan was as simple as it was impossible. There was no way out of here, that much was certain, but I didn’t care. Jude was leaving this world before me, and if it took my life doing it, I’d die free.
I reached out, laying the torn collar back around my neck, staring at what would be the ceiling, if I could only see it. Focus filled me, every passing second just whittling away until he came. The jagged bottle top tucked in neatly next to the mattress, waiting. No sleep would come for me. Nothing would stop me. Minutes. Hours. Every inch of my body poised to strike. A party was just beginning upstairs. The club getting riled up before a big job. Music blared and base thumped my small little room.
Footsteps…
He was coming.
I could hear the bar slide free, every terrifying second spent coiled coming to an explosion of adrenaline. My heart raced, my breathing coming in fast bursts. The door opened as I closed my eyes, stretching my body enticingly against the bed. Just a little fucking closer…
The boots echoed in the small space, everything a mix of sound and the loudest of laughter. Above, engines roared and men fucked their chained toys. Men like Jude.
I wasn’t going to be his toy.
“Come here and fuck me baby…” I whispered as seductively as I could muster. I knew he wanted it. He’d been waiting on me to fall into my old ways. To let my dark desires override my mind.
I arched my back, breasts straining in the air. Hands came down on them, hot breath following. One hand wrapped its way around his head, pulling him to my left nipple as the right hand gripped the bottle. My whole fucked up life led up to this moment. Jude brought me into this, and I was going to take him out. There was only one problem.
It wasn’t Jude.
My nostrils filled with his unfamiliar scent, my eyes opening as the bottle’s edge plunged into the side of his throat viciously, wrist turning and wrenching the makeshift blade down and around the front in one devastating slash. I pulled his head free as I stabbed down again, the gurgling attempt at a scream muffled and impossible.
He tried to fight but I lifted the makeshift blade again, swinging it down further back, plunging it above his spine. The man went limp above me, his body crushing down as I pushed him off, blood pouring and eyes flashing with shock and horror as I ended him. It took longer than I would have liked…
He was the big man from upstairs… The man that had ordered Jude around...
☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼
Panic struck me. Something inside snapped as I stared down at the bloody mess, then glared at the door. I needed out. I needed to get out now…
I needed clothes.
The bulky man’s body let out a sickening sound as I tugged at his pants, pulling them free before rolling him and working on his shirt. My movements were fast and furious. Jude could return at any moment and I had no time to waste. I tugged at his shirt, pulling it down over my blood soaked chest and thankful he wore black. I pulled a bandana from his pocket and wrapped it over my head. Last but not least, I drew the gun from his hip, staring at it. Six bullets. Fuc
king typical cowboy. With a semiautomatic I might have a chance at making a run for it. Six bullets? I’d be dead before I hit the door.
But I was going to take five of these assholes with me…
I’d save the last bullet for myself.