Thank God, Ethan couldn’t stay with her last night. What would she have done if he had said yes? She wonders why on earth she asked him to stay in the first place. Realizing that she gave it absolutely no thought at all at the time, she feels a little anxious. The couch isn’t big enough for the both of them and she couldn’t ask him to sleep on the floor. She would have had to face her demons and at least attempt to sleep in the spare bedroom with him.
Obviously, her three year abstinence didn’t just leave her physically wanting. After Sam, she learned how to turn off the part inside her that thrives on intimacy; the human need to connect with others on an emotional level. Ethan fills that space inside her, and it’s exactly what she was wanting to avoid in order to protect her heart. He instills in her emotions that make her acutely aware of the emptiness that was there before he came along, even if sometimes that emotion is anger and frustration.
It’s clear in her mind this morning that this is the reason why she asked him to stay and it’s hard for her to face the truth. He’s a man, who knows her body so well that he’s completely adept at looking after her physical needs, but last night that wasn’t enough for her. Her brow furrows and she massages her forehead with gentle pressure using her fingers trying to smooth away the tension.
She thought she had done everything right to avoid this need but here she is AGAIN, wanting, desiring his love, needing it to feel alive and whole. And it’s getting stronger. She rests her elbows on her knees and leans forward, holding her head against the palm of her hands, dumbfounded by how this happened. She decides that they only way to reign in these emotions is to slow things down, and try to reinforce the agreement. It’s not going to be easy, but she’s not eager to repeat the same mistake, so she’ll try. Keep your heart out of it.
Ethan sleeps in after coming in late from the restaurant. He feels guilty that he didn’t go back to Olivia when he was done, but once the kitchen closes, the bar and nightclub atmosphere lingers on. It was nearly 2am before he could close and lock up. He’s glad that the nightclub manager he hired is available to start full time soon. He had to resist the urge to text John several times with questions and things he wanted done. He hopes that he’s taking the full opportunity to enjoy his girl while she’s here. For a moment he feels a great amount of self satisfaction.
The bed is the only piece of furniture at the house, since he ordered it new and had it delivered it yesterday. He’s barely awake when he hears the moving truck roll up. Throwing on a pair of track pants and a sleeveless t-shirt, he heads downstairs to let them in.
The truck is fairly full with personal stuff that he had at Scott and Rachel’s and the stuff he had brought over from Ireland that, up until now, was in storage. He left some furniture in the apartment that he’s maintaining in Ireland for when he goes home. He’ll hold onto it until he knows for sure where he’ll be long term.
Letting the movers do their job, he stays out of the way until they need direction on where something should go. They make quick work at setting up the furniture and are on their way, leaving only a few boxes of personal items for Ethan to unpack himself. Taking in a breath, he takes in his surroundings. It’s not home, but he’ll be comfortable here. Sitting on the leather couch, he digs his phone out of his pocket. It’s a common occurrence these days for Olivia to cross his mind whenever he has a still moment.
From Ethan: Hey, What time do you want me to pick you up today?
From Olivia: For what?
From Ethan: ?? The BBQ. We’re still going right?
From Olivia: Oh! Yes, but I think I’m going to go on my own
From Ethan: Tell me why
From Olivia: Because it’s NOT a date
From Ethan: What exactly is your issue with going on a date with me?
From Olivia: It’s not what we agreed to
From Ethan: Fine, it’s not a date. I can still pick you up and we can go together.
From Olivia: NO!
From Ethan: Olivia, I’m not happy about that and quick frankly I’m getting a little tired of this arrangement bullshit.
From Olivia: Consider this one of those rare times when you don’t get your way. You’ll live.
Normally that would have sent Ethan into an angry tailspin, but he finds himself smiling. What has she done to him? He shakes his head in amusement. Who would have thought that a woman could tame his irascible temper? But this is not just any woman… this is Olivia James. The woman he fell in love with the moment he laid eyes on her. The woman who has been visiting his dreams for months, before she actually walked into his life. He knows things about her that he can’t possibly explain, and he knows beyond a doubt, that she is THE ONE. The one whose fingerprints are on his soul. He knows now, exactly who the psychic was referring to. Well, if you believe in that sort of thing.
Olivia’s phone rings and Rachel’s name shows on the display. “Hey!”
“Hi! Do you want Scott and I to pick you up for the BBQ?”
“No thanks, Ethan just offered as well but I think I want to go by myself.”
“What? Why?”
“Well, it’s the first party like thing I’ve been to in a long time. I just want to make sure that if I start feeling a little freaked out I can leave without disrupting anybody else’s fun.”
“Are you still having anxiety attacks?”
“Well no. I haven’t had one for weeks actually.”
“Uh huh… since you met Ethan?”
She thinks about that. “I guess so, what are you getting at?”
“Nothing. Just wondering. Can I ask you a question?”
“Can I stop you?”
“NOPE.”
Olivia laughs. “Well then ask away.”
“Why do you give Ethan such a hard time?”
Olivia is confused. “What?”
“You know what. Not letting him kiss you, making him leave after sex. Is it true you won’t let him take you upstairs to the bedroom to make love to you?”
She gets defensive and more than a little upset. “He told you all that?”
“Oh my God Olivia, it’s true?” Rachel is astounded.
Olivia is mortified. “Yes.”
“Soooo, where are you doing it then?” Curiosity getting the better of her.
“The floor, the couch… the kitchen table.” She looks at the carpet in the living room, feeling ashamed and extremely embarrassed as she rubs the rug burn on her elbow.
Rachel sits wide eyed in silence. “I’d ask why, but I know the answer. Sweetie, I know that it’s difficult for you but what about Ethan?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, how long do you expect him to put up with that? Maybe it’s time for you to start thinking about what Ethan needs from YOU.”
Olivia is unable to respond with an argument. What Rachel said makes sense, so there isn’t one to be made.
“Just think about it. We’ll pick you up at around 4pm. End of discussion.”
“Geez. Bossy much! I think you’ve been spending too much time with Ethan.”
“Maybe. But we are still going to pick you up.”
“Fine! Whatever.”
She hangs up and texts Ethan.
From Olivia: Change of plans. I’m going with Scott and Rachel. If you’re a good boy, I might let you drive me home
She hits send and rolls her eyes at what she just did. Geez, she thinks. So much for slowing things down. That took all of 10 minutes before she caved.
From Ethan: Well then, you can count on me to be a VERY good boy
Laughter echoes over the music and a sea of lawn chairs dot the grass. Ethan works the crowd with drink in hand socializing with friends, coworkers and teammates. No one has to tell him that Olivia has arrived… he feels her presence the moment she gets out of the car. Watching her walk up the dirt path in her flip flops and shorts, he gets that tightness in his stomach that makes him feel warm all over and he starts towards her. She lifts her hand and waves, getting a rush of nervo
us excitement when she sees him, and she knows immediately that she’s in trouble.
Meeting her half way, he lightens her load, taking her chair and cooler, and finds her a place to settle in. Scott and Rachel follow behind. Making sure she has a drink in hand, Ethan keeps her close as they mingle with friends, enjoying an evening away from the stresses of the workweek. Away from all the tension and the rigid business environment he has a delightful sense of humor. On top of his normal charm he is very entertaining and her heart swells at the sight of him laughing. She can’t remember the last time she really enjoyed herself this much.
He hasn’t let her out of his sight for a minute and remembering her plan, she decides she should give him a little break from her company. Leaning in she whispers in his ear. “I’m going to go sit down for a bit.”
“I’ll go with you.”
He excuses himself from his companions and walks her back to her chair with his hand on the small of her back. Olivia’s not surprised that her plan didn’t work so well. People exchange what they think are discreet glances but Olivia notices. She knows what they are thinking. There’s THAT girl.
Scott and Rachel are close by, in deep conversation with friends about something. Rachel is holding Scott’s hand and leaning in close when he talks to her. Olivia is happy to see the love and adoration return to Rachel’s face when she’s with her husband. When she looks over and sees Olivia watching her they exchange a smile. It’s a silent acknowledgement that everything is just fine.
When they get to the cooler, Ethan exchanges her empty bottle with a new one and opens himself a bottle of water. “One beer and you’re done?” She asks surprised.
He shrugs. “I’m not much of a drinker anymore.”
She is just about to ask what he means by anymore when someone yells his name and launches a soccer ball in his direction. She ducks as Ethan throws himself in front of it, stops it and makes it drop to the ground before it hits her.
One of his teammates shouts from the back of the property. “Come show Terry that move.”
Ethan flips the ball in the air juggling it a few times on his foot and then grabs it with his hands. Not wanting to abandon Olivia he extends an invitation. “Come watch.”
Shaking her head no, she takes a mouthful of her vodka cooler. “You go, play with your friends. I’m going to sit for awhile and relax.”
Walking behind her chair, he playfully brushes the hair off her shoulder, moving it behind her neck and over to the other side. Leaning down, he kisses her tenderly on the shoulder making her feel all warm and fuzzy. She practically moans. Damn him!
“I won’t be away long.” He whispers in her ear as he pulls his mouth away.
The sun surrenders to the horizon, allowing the shadowy twilight to creep in. The band takes their place on the deck that’s been converted into a make shift stage, and shares the music they have spent tireless hours practicing out in the garage. At the back of the property, a bonfire blazes brightly, the sound of the wood crackling and popping as it burns echoes in the night.
Olivia sips on her vodka cooler knowing that she needs to pace herself since they have a deadly effect on her. In fact, on several celebratory occasions she woke the next morning without her shoes and bra and no recollection about how she got home. But that was in her younger, carefree days. Now she’s all grown up and determined to make good on her adult obligation of drinking responsibly.
Ethan couldn’t have been gone for more than 10 minutes when Olivia feels a hand on her shoulder and inhales the smell of cologne that is all too familiar. “Noah!” She stands up as he walks around her chair to greet her. “When did you get here?” She asks.
“About half an hour ago. You were busy and I didn’t want to interrupt.” He looks so much taller in the dimmed light of dusk. She can tell that he has had a few drinks already when she stands on her tippy toes and throws her arms around his neck in a friendly hug. The darkness hides Ethan from her view as he returns and stops a few steps away. Jealousy pulses through his body as he watches Noah kiss her on the lips. It was a harmless kiss, not much more passion then the kind you would give a family member or an old friend, but watching it happen, makes Ethan feel like someone has just knocked the wind out of him. His stomach tightens angrily and his hands fist at his side. Fucking Noah Thompson!
Rachel looks up and sees Noah’s greeting and then glances over to see Ethan. “Uh Oh!” She decides a warning is in order. “Hey Ethan! Can you toss me a water?”
Olivia stiffens. Crap! She pulls herself away from Noah, quickly putting distance between their bodies and panicking as he approaches. “You remember my friend Noah, right?” She establishes eye contact, trying to assure him that she has nothing to hide and cringing at the stupidity of her question. Of course he does, he punched him the face not that long ago. Ugh! The two men nod at each other, neither of them able to hide their malice as Ethan lifts the lid off the cooler and gets Rachel a bottle of water. Tossing it in her direction, Scott catches it in mid air. Looking up at Noah, Ethan remembers Olivia’s promise that he has no reason to feel jealous and his promise that he wouldn’t start any more fights with him. The second promise is one he definitely regrets. He still feels that angry, possessive feeling and has no idea how he is going to push it aside. CALM YOURSELF!
“Do you want a beer?” He asks him, swallowing his anger.
“Sure.” Noah can’t help but feel a little cautious. He just doesn’t like this guy.
He passes him one from the cooler and then looks at Olivia. “You ok or are you ready for another one?”
“No, I’m good thanks.” She holds up the bottle to show him that it’s still three quarters full. She feels very awkward as Ethan takes his place by her side and possessively puts his arm around her, pulling her close to his body. Noah’s edged blue eyes and tense body shows his malevolence as he glances over to meet with Olivia’s forced smile.
Determined to show her that he is the better man, Ethan apologizes. “I’m sorry about that scuffle at the game a few weeks ago.”
Olivia’s eyes open wide in shock. What is he doing?
Noah nods. “I hear you got a three game suspension.”
“Yes.”
Growing extremely anxious, Olivia takes her phone out of her pocket and texts Rachel.
From Olivia: Rachel HELP!
Within seconds, Rachel and Scott wander over to join them. “Hi Noah, it’s nice to see you. Scott and I were just talking about you.”
“You were?” He asks curiously.
“Yes, Scott and I were thinking about getting a puppy and we had some questions.”
Olivia shoots a look of surprise at Scott who returns the same look. He shrugs and Olivia tries not to laugh as she mouths the words ‘I LOVE YOU GUYS.’.
“You don’t mind talking shop on your day off do you?” Rachel asks, as if she’s going to give him a choice.
Noah is quite happy to oblige. “Not at all, what did you want to know.” He sways a little and Olivia puts her hand on his shoulder to prevent him from bumping into her. While he’s engaged in conversation about his work, Olivia takes advantage of the opportunity to sneak away and takes Ethan by the hand. “Excuse us while you chat, I need to get something to eat.”
Ethan follows obediently as she leads him towards the table where the food is laid out.“I’m glad to see that you’re eating.” He hands her a plate and a hamburger and then they make their way down the table of various salads and condiments.
“I worked up a bit of an appetite last night.” She grins. “But don’t worry… I won’t go hungry, I have enough Chinese food in my fridge to last a week.”
Ethan snuggles up behind her while she serves herself some potato salad. “Good, keep your strength up because you’re going to need it.”
“Oh? And why is that?” She drops a spoonful of potato salad on his plate, trying not to let him see how his closeness affects her.
“Because you’re all I can think about these days. I plan
to take advantage of our agreement, as often as I can.”
She raises her eyebrows. “Good to know. Thanks for the warning.” She tries to convey indifference, but her insides are a whirling storm of emotions making goose bumps prickle along her skin.
Pressing himself into her back, he rubs his hips against her bottom while he leans in and places his mouth against the side of her neck. “That’s not a warning, princess. That’s a promise. We’ll talk later about revisions I’m going to make to our current agreement.”
“Oh, really?” She mocks him, trying to make him think he has no chance of making any changes but she’s extremely curious about what that might entail.
“Yes, really. If you do remember, my acceptance of your agreement was dependant on being able to re-negotiate terms at any time.”
“So it was.” She leans back against him, breathing heavily as she rests against his hard chest. “What did you have in mind?”
Teasing her, he bites at her earlobe. “Eat first, we’ll talk later.”
Later in the evening, Noah mingles in the crowd, never taking his eyes off her, but keeping his distance. Ethan senses him lurking and keeps her close, intending to send a clear message that she belongs to him. Now that the sun has completely set, Rachel runs around in the dark handing out glow sticks. Olivia bends hers and tries to snap it but it limply refuses. She pouts and gives it a little more muscle. This time she hears a crack and as the chemicals inside mix it starts to glow a bright fluorescent blue. Feeling a little buzz from the coolers, she struggles while trying to thread the string through the loop, so that she can wear it around her neck. She had been fiddling with it for a few minutes when Ethan sees her out of the corner of his eye and turns to capture her gaze. Looking at him helplessly, she holds out her hands for him to see that she snapped the glow stick so hard that it cracked and the liquid is leaking all over her hands, making her glow as well.
Intractable Souls : Book 1 of the Bound for Ireland Series Page 32