by Leanne Davis
Later, she was typing up reports for Steve when she spotted Nick coming down the hall. This time, he was looking right at her, and heading directly for her. There was no exit between them, and she had to stay put. It was an excruciating few moments before he finally stood on the other side of her desk. She didn’t look up from the computer she was typing on, even though her last five sentences were pure gibberish. She couldn’t look up. She felt his stare as well as his annoyance, and the silence hung as thick as syrup between them.
“You’re not, by any chance, avoiding me, are you?”
“Yes,” she said, glancing right and left to see if anyone was within hearing distance.
He paused and his voice sounded strained. “I see. Why?”
“Because I ran into my boss today, and didn’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to know what to say to me. You can say anything you want to me, haven’t you always before? Tell me you have that figured out by now.”
“No, I haven’t.” She looked down at her desk and his eyes bore into her.
“Sorry about earlier, it was an international call, I couldn’t hang up.”
“You don’t have to apologize for being important. Or busy. Or my boss.”
She kept her eyes down on her desk and neatly stacked the folders and papers around her. She refused to look up at him. He finally sighed, taking a step back. “Okay, Joelle, for now, I’ll let you be weird about it, about us. But there is an ‘us,’ no matter how you try to ignore it, hide from it, or pretend otherwise. I simply ask you please, get over it soon. I have.”
“Easy for you, Mr. Lassiter,” she said, her tone mimicking his other employees. She finally raised her eyes as if accusing him. “You’re the boss.”
He pursed his lips and unbelievably, laughed out loud. “You’re the most impossible woman I’ve ever met.”
She scowled up at him. “Well, uou’re bossy and you push me too much.”
“You need it. Like now.”
“I don’t need anything.”
“Well, nice for you, but I do.”
“What could you possibly need? You can buy anything on this earth.”
“You. I need you, and I can’t buy you, can I?” he said it so quietly, she almost didn’t hear him, or believe she heard him. But he’d already turned around and was heading back down the hall towards the elevator.
She was left wondering what she was supposed to feel about that.
****
The next day, she had to go to a weekly staff meeting, where she had a feeling Nick would probably show up, just to annoy her. He didn’t call her last night, which only depressed her. No, it bugged her. It downright had her pacing the room and wondering why he couldn’t pick up the phone and dial the seven numbers necessary to reach her. Need her? He didn’t really need anything or anyone now, did he? He knew exactly what he wanted, and how to get it. Including her. Which, for some reason, he seemed to really want right now. Was it because he couldn’t have her so easily? She hoped it wasn’t that. What then, did she hope for?
She followed Steve into the large conference room that held their departmental meetings. She purposely waited for Steve, even though he was always late. She preferred not to walk into this meeting by herself. So she waited, and became the last person to shuffle into the room. Nick was at his usual spot, at the head of the conference table. He was staring at her, and watching her, which had her nerves on edge more than usual. It made closing the door a chore for her and trying to quietly find a seat an even more monumental task.
“Everyone here?” Nick asked while looking directly at her. There was collective “yes” in the room before Nick started talking. Leading the meeting with as little effort as he made plans for them to go to the beach, his voice never wavered, or fluctuated with his nerves, or had any unwanted “uhs” or “ums.” He never seemed unsure of what to say, despite the two dozen eyes that were riveted on him. He handled both the people and the pressure as if he were talking to his sisters. He handled it all so freaking confidently, and his attitude, his knowing everything, while being such a commanding and engaging figurehead, suddenly, and quite irrationally, made Joelle angry at him.
Joelle was mad at Nick for being Nick. For being the boss. Her boss. And doing it so well, and so easily. While she floundered, and “um”ed and “ahh”ed, and couldn’t engage two people at once in conversation, yet he could control a room of twenty or thirty, maybe even a freaking auditorium if the need arose.
He was brilliant, confident, and successful; while she was nothing, except small, insignificant, and ordinary. She couldn’t even decide whether or not to divorce a husband who hurt her, and whom she didn’t think she wanted anymore. But she kept him. She didn’t know what to do with her own life, and Nick provided a model for everyone’s. He managed to make his own a billionaire’s life.
And he wanted to sleep with her. Despite all the warnings she gave to herself, she most certainly chose to sleep with him; and once again, Nick was successful. Then, his decision to date her, as if it were the most natural, easy, normal situation in the world, when it wasn’t. It was anything, but easy or normal.
Damn him. Screw him.
She tuned back into the meeting, but her mind was seething. Nick wasn’t talking now, Steve was. Nick was watching her and saw her scowl. She felt like sticking her tongue out at him. He’d probably react to that too in the most perfect manner possible.
The meeting dragged on forever. Joelle had little importance for being there. It wasn’t like she had a talk or presentation. She merely took notes, listened, and learned. At least, on most days, she did. Today, however, she simmered with rage and felt awkward, and worse, conspicuous.
Finally, the meeting broke up, and people arose from their seats, chatting more easily, with more relaxed smiles. Joelle got up too.
“Joelle, can I see you in my office?”
She turned at the sound of Nick’s voice. His request was not overly loud, but not whispered or hidden either. Her cheeks grew warm and she glowered at him. Did she have any choice? Could she just say no, and walk off? Knowing Steve was listening, however, she sensed he would wonder what the big deal was. Nick saw lots of people in his office. He had a finger in every crevice of the company, or so it seemed. A total and complete control freak. Probably why he never sold the company or made it public. He liked it smaller, more controllable, and manageable.
And now, was he trying to manage her? She bristled. “Yes. Mr. Lassiter. Just after I drop my notes on my desk,” she said in a tone so saccharine and fake, his mouth turned into a frown and his eyebrows rose in curiosity.
She tarried, and took more than twenty minutes to saunter up to his level, down the hallway and finally, to his office. Bev wasn’t sitting there. Joelle was already in a mood by then. How dare he invite her to his office as if it were all no big deal? What did he hope for? That she’d run up and give him a blow job before her next coffee break? How dare he think that? Ordering her to come up here.
She opened his office door swiftly, her anger obvious, and started talking before she fully stepped in. “How dare you order me up here as if I’ll just… what? Give you–”
“Joelle, you remember Mr. Lance, don’t you? And Mrs. Hemmings, from HR?” Nick stood up suddenly, talking quickly, loudly, and far more authoritatively than he usually did. In an effort to shut her up. There, sitting on Nick’s office couch were indeed the company lawyer and human resources manager. The door was located in the center of the room, and Nick’s desk sat at the end; she walked into the room looking at only that. Thank God, oh thank God! he shut her up, and anticipated what she was about to say. Her stricken eyes met his, and he nodded at her. But his face appeared impassive.
Plastering a fake smile on her face, Joelle thought her cheeks could burst with so much heat. Oh God, what she just said and angrily blurted out! Both executives were well dressed, in their thirties, and obviously professionals. They both stood then to greet her, each holding a coffee cup. Clearly,
they’d been waiting for her. Why? They both came over to Nick’s desk, and took a seat, which left her standing without one.
Nick got up, and went out to get Bev’s chair, dragging it in for her. Meeting her eye, he nodded his head as an indication for her to sit. His locked jaw and tight lips warned her to behave and she nodded her gratitude.
“I’m sorry, I stormed in. I thought–” What could she say she was thinking? That Mr. Lassiter wanted to have sex with her?
“I think what Joelle is trying to say, is that she and I have a history.”
A history. Christ, that was one way of putting it. Nick continued talking after a swift glance her way that made her whole body stiffen.
“Joelle went to high school with my little sister. She used to come to our house for sleepovers, so naturally, it makes it a little weird to see me as her boss. Doesn’t it, Joelle?”
Her fake smile felt like it was about to freeze, but she nodded. He was a quick thinker.
“Which sister?” The lady from HR asked in a chirpy, cheerful voice.
“Uh, Trina. Trina and I were friends.”
“She’s such a sweet girl. Just came and showed off her new baby last week to us. We miss her.”
Joelle gave Nick a swift look. Sweet? Trina? Sure if you like pet vipers. But Joelle kept that to herself.
“So, Joelle, the reason I asked you up here–”
Joelle straightened at Nick’s voice, suddenly detached and professional, looking at her as if he’d never had her on top of him naked, as if she were really just one of his myriad employees. He was addressing her in a flat, unemotional, uncaring tone. God bless him.
“–To see if you’re interested in being promoted. Steve was pretty insistent it should be you, and it seems your job performance reviews have impressed your new boss, Mrs. Hemmings, who is also agreeable to your promotion. She wanted to meet you. And Mr. Lance here, has some paperwork for you to sign. They thought my office would be the best place to do that.”
“A promotion?”
Nick held her gaze, and nodded. Speaking slowly, as if to say “Wake up!” he said, “Ye-e-e-s. A pro-mo-tion.”
Her eyes rounded in horror as she realized she had just made a fool of herself. She wanted to crawl under his desk, but he finally smiled at her.
“Are you interested?”
She met his grinning, amused gaze. There was kindness in his eyes and sincere happiness for her. He did care very much for her. He was glad about this, for her sake. Her heart flipped.
“Uh, yes. Of course.”
“Good.”
They spent the next hour meeting with the human resources manager. And Joelle found out she had to sign several confidentiality forms, hence the lawyer’s presence. She would now be privy to all personnel, their job descriptions, their histories, as well as the company’s PR, and sensitive information that had to be kept confidential. Nick made it very clear that anyone taking this job had to understand and accept without question that all company documents and personal information be kept confidential, quiet, and strictly out of the press.
Finally, the meeting came to a close and everyone stood. Mr. Lance shook Joelle’s hand and left. Mrs. Hemmings smiled warmly, saying she couldn’t wait for Joelle to start tomorrow.
“Joelle, can I see you for a moment?” Nick asked as Mrs. Hemmings was collecting her coat, and leaving through the door in which Joelle desperately wanted to jump right through just then.
She nodded as she stood and waited while Nick smiled and chatted with Mrs. Hemmings before she exited. He firmly shut the door behind her, locking it. As he turned back towards her, his spine suddenly turned rigid, and his face seemed cold, reminding Joelle of times past when she pissed him off. She took a step back. “Nick, I’m so–”
“You said not at the office. What did you think? That I wouldn’t respect that? Do you realize what you just about did?”
“I wasn’t going to say anything that bad.”
His mouth was in a grim line. He sneered. “Bullshit! Don’t lie to me. I know exactly what you were about to say.”
How could he know everything? Shame filled her, making her feel miniscule. Of course, Nick wouldn’t do that. “I just thought–”
“I know what you thought. What you’ve been thinking for days. I kept my distance, didn’t I? Do you think so little of me? Have I ever been anything but respectful toward you? With you? To you?”
“No,” she said, hanging her head. “You’ve never been anything, but perfectly wonderful to me.”
“Then what is the matter with you? Why are you so angry at me? I saw the daggers in the meeting. I know your fuck-you-Nick stance, and glare. What exactly have I done to you?”
“Nothing. You’ve done nothing, but act all composed and perfect and okay!” she suddenly said, balling her fists at her sides, as her voice rose in octaves. “I’m not. I’m a mess. I don’t know what to say when I see you. I don’t know where to look when you’re in a room, and I’m there, and other people are there too, looking at us. I don’t know what to do and you always know what to do!”
Nick stared at her and her eyes dropped to the floor. Her weird reactions around him went much deeper than just being uncomfortable at work with him. It was owing to her entire messed up life. He sighed, before coming forward, and closing the physical space between them, as well as the emotional distance. As soon as he was near her, he became Nick again, not the guy who sat behind that desk.
“Come here,” he said softly, taking her into his arms and bringing her closer, pressing her face against his chest, with his arms over hers. She wished she wanted to resist him… but there was no way she could. She hung onto him, as if he held all the answers to her life. He leaned down to kiss her temple and her hair. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think this was going to be so hard for you. Or make you feel this bad, or so weird.”
“Why don’t you hate me? Kick me out of here for what I almost yelled at you? And it was right in front of your lawyer.”
“Neither of them would have said anything. They value their jobs and I pay them well.” His tone was severe, but his grin was not. She caught his eye and scoffed, while he grinned wider.
“Was that promotion legit?”
“Yes. It came across my desk from Steve, addressed to Mrs. Hemmings, and not from me.”
“I make more of your money now.”
“Yes, you do. Can I say congratulations without you thinking I’m trying to… what was it you were going to say?”
“Nothing. I was going to say nothing.”
“When I ask you to go out to dinner with me tonight to celebrate your promotion at work, can you just say yes without the snide ‘Mr. Lassiter’s and ‘Nick, my boss’ stuff?”
“I can try.”
“Next time, look around my office before you start yelling at me.”
She shook her head vehemently. “There won’t be a next time.”
“Yes, there will, I seem to bring that out in you.”
He did. He definitely brought it out in her. That’s was Nick Lassiter’s power: he let her be a real person. He allowed her full, entire, moody, quick-tempered, shy and volatile personality to come out. He gave her permission to be who she was, when she didn’t even realize she wasn’t being herself. Not until she met Nick. She sighed, feeling puzzled and scared at what that meant. Why was all of this so complicated? Yet, whenever Nick put his arms around her, or she heard his voice, everything inside her went still and she became... quiet. Both inside and out. She became whole when she was around Nick.
Against his dark suit jacket, she rested her head, and asked, in a muffled voice, “What are we doing?”
He sighed, as his hand ran through her hair. “We’re dating, Joelle.”
“But how can we be? What about this work stuff? What about Rob?”
“Rob’s on you. You’ve got to decide that. Choose me, or him, or neither of us. But the work stuff, that’s totally manageable. I’ll try harder to make it easier on you.
I promise. I didn’t know how anxious you felt, and now that I do, I’ll make it easier for you. Just trust me on that. I’ll keep us off hours, if that’s what you want.”
“I don’t know what I want.”
“You never do.”
“And you don’t hate that about me?”
He shrugged and sighed. “I’m used to that about you. As I’m used to everything else.”
“So you accept that?”
“I think I’ve always accepted you.”
“And you want to... still date me? Even with me being like I am?”
He dropped his head and shook it. “How much more obvious could I be about it? Yes, I want to be with you. I am with you. It’s you who has to decide if you’re going to be with me.”
She let out a long, shuddering breath. “I guess I could try to be more normal about it.”
His body shook in a silent laugh. “That would be appreciated,” he said, his tone deadpan, as his lips twitched into a smile when her head jerked up to look at him.
“You know, it won’t make me any more normal. No matter how hard I try.”
“I know that too.”
“And yet… I am what you want?”
He put a finger under her chin and lifted her face up, leaning down until his forehead touched hers. He looked deeply into her eyes and she bit her lip, scared of what he’d say. For how could this man, this wonderful, kind, together man want her?
“You are exactly what I want.”
Then he leaned down and kissed her. This time, all the tenderness was gone, all subliminal coaxing absent. His mouth and lips were hot on hers, and he pulled her flush against him, bringing her back towards his desk. His hand slid down her side, over her butt, to the hemline of her skirt, as he followed her leg back up along her black tights.
“I thought–” She barely pulled back to breathe out her protest.
“Maybe that could start on Monday.” He sounded as hoarse as she did, not to mention, as hot as she did. It made her even hotter, to the point of physically sweating. To think she had such an effect on this man, of all men.