by Ed Nelson
I said as much.
“It was the original owner I believe. He planned on a dynasty and wanted good records. In the basement is a file full of all expenditures made to improve and maintain the property. I believe he was of German descent.”
No bias there, but then Mr. Hamilton was probably in the War.
After cleaning up and getting dressed for dinner I had a little time so I browsed the library. Our librarian had done a first-rate job. What I loved was the new sign.
It read, “Please do not shelve the books, please leave them on the cart.”
What was really odd was a notice of, “No candles allowed.”
At dinner, Mum and Grand Mum wanted to know about my day. I told them everything even the painting and falling in love. Grand Mum asked me if I had ever read a story by Mark Twain called, ‘Tom Sawyer.’ I had and I got her point immediately. I don’t think that is what happened but if it was, the joke was on me.
I had to laugh and tell her she was probably right and I was the prat.
“You made five pounds?”
“Well yes.”
“A prat would have done it for free.”
“That makes me feel so much better.”
I hope she understands sarcasm.
She went on to tell a story. How when she was young there was this greengrocer who pushed his cart down the back alley selling his veggies to the cooks. She talked him into lifting her up so she could pick apples from a tree. That started a relationship that continued until his death five years ago, so all Tom Sawyer tricks weren’t bad.
“How did you get the apples when he wasn’t around?”
“Oh we had a device on a long pole that would grasp the apple then all you had to do was pull it down.”
We men never stand a chance.
Chapter 24
I was up early on Monday, April 4th. It was my first day at a new school. I felt like a little kid. All excitement, looking forward to a new school mixed with some fear of the unknown.
I ran the road surrounding our property. I had to learn about the area and find the best places to run each day. I did my pushups and setups. I had to buy a weight set and find a place for it. I would also like to have various punching bags for boxing.
There was enough land to set up an archery range. I don’t know about a rifle or pistol range. I don’t know if you are allowed to shoot like that in England.
As my breakfast was being served I saw Mr. Hamilton. I asked him if he knew where I could buy a set of weights.
“Aren’t the ones in the gym satisfactory Sir Richard?”
“I didn’t know there was a gym.”
“We call it the gymnasium but it is a large room attached behind the garage.”
I had time so after getting cleaned up and ready for school I checked out the gym. I had noticed the door in the back of the garage but must have thought it was an exit.
The gym wasn’t like an American High School gym where you could play basketball. It was high enough that you could put a hoop on one wall. It was a combination weight room, ballet studio with bars and mirrors. It even had the various punching bags set up.
The weights were all free weights but it looked like a complete set. I could see us kids using this room a lot. Mary would love the ballet setup, I wonder if there is a Princess Ballerina Flight Attendant costume. Oh yeah all on roller skates.
I drove my new car into town and parked it in the rented garage. Students were out and moving around and the Aston Martin got some attention. Parking the car I grabbed my bicycle and rode over to my first lecture hall. I had a book bag on a strap over my shoulder filled with pencils, pens, and notebooks. I was ready for school.
I was surprised that none of the bikes parked outside the lecture hall had locks on them. There were bike racks but they were hardly full. I had thought as it was the first day and all with the first lecture they would be full to overflowing.
The room in the hall that was listed was a small one. It was set up for fifty students. I was only a few minutes early so was surprised at how few people were in the room. I didn’t count them but it couldn’t be more than fifteen.
I don’t know what defines it, but most of them looked like they were new to this series of lectures like I was. The lecture was the first on the properties of various metals used in different types of construction. Everything from housing to aircraft was included.
As the syllabus read it was to give the student an overview of metals used in various construction, their benefits and weaknesses along with the process used to bring the metal from an ore to a usable product. I was really looking forward to this.
What I was looking forward to and what I got were two different things. The Don, what they called Professors was an elderly Chinese man who spoke broken English very softly. I could only understand about half of what he said. He talked nonstop for forty-five minutes, walked off the podium and left the room by a side door giving no chance for questions.
I looked at the notes I had taken and realized they were worthless. Standing to leave the room my attention was caught by a man, a little too old to be a student but not that old, maybe thirty. He took the podium.
“All right you lot, you see what you have to look forward to for the few weeks. Old man Wang is considered to be the best in the field on metals but he can’t give a coherent lecture. I have for sale a complete set of lecture notes which have been compiled over the last five years. He never varies the course and unless there is a major breakthrough on metals they won’t change. I am asking ten pounds for the complete course.”
If there were fifteen of us in the room he just made 140 pounds because all but one of us bought a set. One young man had a dejected look as he turned away. On a hunch, I bought a second set and hurried to catch him as he was leaving the hall.
“Wait up, I have something for you.”
He turned and took the notes I handed him without looking at them. When he saw what I had given him he started to shake his head no.
“I can’t afford these. It takes everything I have to be here. Until I find a job I have to make do.”
I understood that I was looking at pride.
“Consider them a long term loan. I can afford them and there is no way you can learn anything listening to that Don. When you are in a position to pay me back do so, but I’m in no hurry.”
At that, I held out my hand to shake and introduced myself.
“My name is Rick Jackson, what is yours?”
“William Benton, call me Bill I’m from Yorkshire.”
That explained the heavy accent.
“Where about in Yorkshire?”
“Farsley, near Pudsey which is next to Leeds. Where are you from, your accent is Mayfair but I hear something else in it.”
“Darn I was hoping it was pure Mayfair.”
I then dropped into my normal American mid-western accent.
“I’m from Ohio in the United States but now live in California.”
His face lit up.
“Are you the actor chap who saved the Queen?”
“Guilty as charged.”
“Well I don’t feel too bad about accepting a loan; I know you can afford it. Where are you off to now?”
“I have no real plans I’m free for the next hour. How about you.”
He didn’t have any so I invited him to my garage rooms. He had a funny look.
“Oh I have rented a garage with a room up top; it has a kitchenette with tea and coffee pots.”
“You scared me for a moment, I have read about the strange habits of some American actors and I’m not like that.”
I stuttered a little as I told him, “Neither am I.”
After that, we both gave a nervous laugh and settled down with our hot drinks.
Bill turned out to be exactly what I thought. A wicked smart young man here on a scholarship and he was barely able to make ends meet. He was desperately trying to find a job.
Our conversation and the events o
f the day made me realize something. I thought I was special because the college was allowing me to start at a different term rather than the official first term in the fall. They did this for a lot of people as demonstrated with my first class this morning.
I told Bill I had a contact that might know about jobs. He wanted to go talk to the man right now! It was really a lady, Mrs. Butler who I had done the painting for.
We knocked on her door. Iris answered and called for her Grandmamma to come to the door. When I posed the question to Mrs. Butler she told Bill and me that there were all sorts of jobs open around town with various merchants.
The sticking point was that so many of the college students were rude to customers or didn’t care to do the job correctly that they didn’t like to hire them. Bill got a very discouraged look. Mrs. Butler asked him if he could promise to be polite and work hard, she would put in a word for him.
He said he was desperate for work and would be on his best behavior. She told us to wait a minute. She came back and told Bill to go to Blackwell’s Book store, they were expecting him.
He asked if he was dressed okay or should he run to his apartment and put on a suit and tie. Mrs. Butler told him he was fine. Bill took off down the street like his pants were on fire. It was only a block but he wasn’t going to miss out on a job.
I thanked Mrs. Butler and told her if I could do anything for her I would, other than I was out of the painting business. She got a thoughtful look and told me her garage needed a good cleaning.
I must have gotten a stricken look because she had a good laugh.
“If you would be kind enough to autograph this magazine of Iris’s that would be enough.”
I did it quickly and bailed out before she did have me clean out her garage. That woman was a force of nature.
It was time for me to head out to my next lecture. It had more in attendance than in my first class. There must have been fifty people waiting. This one was much better I could actually understand the Don; he spoke clear concise English when he spoke up. Unfortunately, he spoke softly and turned his back to us to write on the blackboard.
Then you couldn’t hear him. After he left I didn’t wait for the sales pitch for the course notes. I was waiting with money in hand. So were five other people. I asked the guy selling the notes if I could buy them all at once.
He gave me the name of a little sidewalk café down the street. He was a runner for the group actually selling the notes. I rode my bike to the café and saw a short line at one of the tables.
I got in line and when my turn came, I was asked what lectures. I showed him my written list and for a mere thirty more pounds I had all the course notes. I had been the last one in line so I felt free to take the time to ask a question.
“How do the colleges react to these notes?”
“They don’t, we have solved a problem for them so they ignore us.”
“I gather the problem is instructors who can’t instruct.”
“Yes, they are all brilliant names in their fields and have done exceptional work to prove it. They give prestige to the colleges but that doesn’t mean they are good presenters.”
“What is the best way to use these notes to prepare for any examinations?”
“See the red star in the upper right-hand corner of the front page. They are for courses where the questions are taken from the notes. A blue star is for the textbook. Some have both red and blue. Just hope you never see a green star.”
“What does a green star mean?”
“It means we have no bloody idea where the questions came from or what will be on the exam. If I were you I would buy or at least check out the course notes for any course you might take, and avoid any green. There are only a few so you can work around them for most degrees.”
“What Dons are kept on staff if they are that bad?”
“Dons with Nobles or Field prizes.”
“I could see that.”
“Now if you are a graduate student in those areas you want to work for them to look good on your resume. I couple of them will even share credit where it is due, but must of them are credit hogs, it must go with the territory.”
“Thanks for your time. I will be seeing you on every course I take to avoid the greens.”
“Good luck Sir Richard and thank you for saving our Queen.”
I could see that I wouldn’t be anonymous on campus for very long. I told him I was surprised that so many people in town recognized me.
He pointed behind me. There was a movie theater with posters all over the front. The largest was for the current movie, ‘Bandits of Sherwood.’ I was front and center in the poster.
“I guess that answers that.”
“Tell me did you do any of those archery shots or were they all done by stuntmen.”
“I made them all, last year I took a bronze in the event at Sherwood Forest.”
“I forgot about that, I saw a picture of you in the paper in those silly tights.”
“I will never live that one down. Thanks for all your help; I have another lecture in a few.”
“Piece of advice, never fall asleep in class it really ticks them off.”
“Good advice, see you around and thanks again.”
At that, I returned to my garage space to drop off the extra notes and rode my bike to my next lecture. I forgot how handy a bike could be.
After the lecture which was amazingly straight forward, easy to hear and understand I started back to my garage to go home for the night. Walking down a path I heard singing.
A group of students was standing next to a wall that adjoined Baliol College. I was curious about what they were singing and why. As I approached them I realized it was a pretty scurrilous song about Balliol. As I got closer I realized there was a competing song coming from the other side.
Several people were standing there so I asked what the event was. Apparently, it was a Gordouli, which were basically the two schools singing nasty songs about each other to demonstrate their traditional dislike of the other. I asked if it was a long-standing tradition. The answer was that the school had been here since 1555 so who knew. All he could tell me was that Balliol was full of a bunch of socialist slackers.
I guess the answer is we hate them. We’ve always hated them, and always will. Don’t know why we hate them but we just do. Hmm, I wonder if that could fit into a song.
When I got home I changed into jeans and a sports shirt with a button-down collar and started to read the notes on the lectures that I attended today. I now understood why attendance was so low. I had spent time in the lecture hall and had nothing to show for it. Now I had to read the notes to get the information. It was like double time for each course.
I would have to attend each course lecture at least once. If the Don was unintelligible I would skip future ones and depend on the course notes or books depending on if it had a red or blue star.
A strange thought crossed my mind, how had the star color system come into being and what century did it occur. This was going to be interesting.
Chapter 25
While talking to Dad on one of our frequent transatlantic phone calls he informed me that my workshop addition to the garage at Jackson House was now completed. Also, the deck addition at the beach had been inspected and the house was now ready for occupancy.
A fat lot of good the house or workshop would do me here in England for the foreseeable future. My timing on projects and girls was terrible. I had a penthouse suite in London I would seldom use. Now a beach house in California and my dream workshop would sit idle.
Having money and using it wisely seemed to be two different objects. I could afford all that but to my Ohio upbringing, it seemed such a waste.
There was nothing I could do about any of it, other than whine so I would shut up and soldier on as Mum would say. It was odd, Dad was the one in the military but Mum was the one with all the sayings. I bet there was more to her war than she ever let on.
My school wa
s settling in. I had learned to attend most of the lectures and read the specific lecture notes following along. At the end of each session, I ended up with a series of notes which needed further research. I accidently found the best way to go about that.
I had retreated to the student lounge in the basement to avoid going out in the miserable cold English rain. A group of fellow students from the same lecture had entered at the same time as I. There was only one large table available as no one wanted to go out in the weather. We all sat at that table. Someone said they didn’t understand one point that was brought up.
That unleashed the dam. None of us understood everything in the lecture, but between the group and the course notes, we understood it all. We spent the next hour going over our questions. I found myself writing feverishly as all my questions were answered.
That started a study method that held for the entire term. We would gather after the lecture and go over what we had missed or were confused about. I tried to get others to do it after other classes but advanced calculus was the only one where there appeared to be universal pain.
One nice thing about that first session was that when we were finished the rain had stopped. It was still damp and chilled outside but at least we wouldn’t get wet. On the way out one chap said it would soon be golfing weather. Well, maybe a month from now in May.
I asked him if he played and he told me he was a member of the Oxford University Golf Club. I didn’t even know they had a golf club. This could be interesting.
“What does one have to do to join the club?”
“It’s only for a select few very good golfers. Most of us have plus one or two handicaps.”
He said this in a dismissive tone as though I, a complete stranger could never play that well.
He went on about how they played other schools cumulating in a match against archrival Cambridge in July. I asked him when in July. He gave me the dates of the 6th-8th. I didn’t have anything planned but the problem is I would have to join the team and play the full schedule prior to that. I just didn’t have the time.
I thought about the many smartass things I could say at this point but decided that the weather was gloomy enough that I didn’t need to further ruin his day.