by Nicole Heck
I continued to replay what happened in my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I couldn’t stop wondering if there was something I could have done to prevent this from happening.
We were all set to go outside. I walked out of the room to talk to Danielle while Gabe used the bathroom. I was gone for not even five minutes, but when I came back, there he was, on the ground beside the bed.
“I need some help in here! Someone help!” I yelled out into the hallway as I bent down beside him on the ground.
“Please don’t go. Hang on, buddy. Hang on. Do it for Zoe. You’re strong.” I bent over him. His face was pressed up against the floor, and his body was limp. The doctors, nurses, and some staff ran in and started to push me out of the way.
One of the nurses pushed me out of the room and then shut the door in my face. I paced back and forth before I was able to sit down.
Twenty minutes have gone by, and Zoe still wasn’t here yet. Where was she? I was panicking. Sharp pains were present throughout my entire body, and I started to have an anxiety attack.
Dr. Sheehan opened the door and pulled her mask down. “Is Zoe here yet?”
“Not yet. Is he okay? What’s going on?” I could barely speak.
“I think I’d better wait for Zoe.”
“No, I need to know, especially if it’s urgent.”
“It’s getting bad. I need you to get down to the lab ASAP to have your blood tested again. He needs surgery tonight. He needs a stem cell transplant too.”
“What if I don’t have strong enough test results?” I couldn’t grasp what was going on.
“Well, he’s still on the transplant list, and in that we’ll continue to search. Your DNA was a match. We just need to see if you have a high enough white blood cell count, among other things, to know if it would work.”
“What if my numbers are close? Can we still do it just to try?”
“I’m afraid not. If his body ever rejects the bone marrow…well, just get down there now and get tested.”
I stood there and stared. What if his body rejected the bone marrow anyway?
“Go! Get moving! We need to hurry!” Dr. Sheehan pushed me down the hall. She explained the process if I were to be the perfect match. While passing Gabe’s room, I took a peek inside. He was hooked up to even more machines now, and his body was close to the color of his white pillows.
“Hang in there, Gabe. I’m going to save your life,” I whispered and then continued to follow the doctor down the hallway.
“God, please let me save his life,” I said aloud.
{40}
Zoe
I ran into the hospital faster than I've ever run before. If I were in a race right now, I probably would have won. Getting the news that your brother collapsed will make you sober up real quick. Arriving at his room, I stopped outside the door and stared in. He wasn't awake, and the nurses were drawing more blood. I cried heavily.
“Where's Christian?” My voice screeched when I spoke to Danielle, who was standing in the corner away from the other doctors. Her hand covered her mouth and her other dabbed her now teary eyes. Since she was so personally invested in Gabe's life, the staff wouldn't allow her to work on him anymore for fear her attachment would prevent her from doing her best job.
She looked around. “I actually don’t know.” She gasped. “He was standing right outside, I thought.”
I couldn’t sit still.
“Can someone please tell me what’s going on? Is Gabe going to be okay? Please tell me!”
Just then, I spotted Dr. Sheehan coming around the corner, and then I heard my name being called from the other direction. It was Christian’s mom. I looked at her and then ran toward Dr. Sheehan.
“How is he? What’s going on? Don’t leave anything out.”
“To get right to the point, he needs a bone marrow transplant immediately. We think we have a match. We are just doing further testing to be sure.”
I broke down. “How am I not a match? I’m his family. It doesn’t make any sense. Test me again!”
“Zoe, that unfortunately can happen. This happens all the time. Family members aren’t always a match.” Dr. Sheehan put her hand on my shoulder. “We are going to do everything we can.”
“Where the hell is my mom? Where in this world is she? Why isn’t she here saving her own son’s life?” I wiped the hateful tears from my eyes. Emily stood on one side of me and Christian’s mom to the other side. They both looked very distraught.
“Let me know as soon as you hear anything, please. He’s the only family I have left.” I tried to calm myself down.
“I will.”
I turned around, and Christian’s mom embraced me, and I wept in her arms.
“Where’s Christian?”
“Wait, you didn’t see him? He’s the one who called me to tell me.”
“No, I got here and he wasn’t in the room. No one seems to know where he is.” I grabbed a tissue from the table next to us and blew my nose.
“He found him. I can’t imagine it was easy for him. He’ll show up soon. The night we found out about James, he disappeared for a while. It’s how he deals with things like this. Here, come with me.” She grabbed my hand and walked me down the hallway.
We entered into the chapel where we sat in an all too familiar pew.
“This is where I sat when my dad was dying. I prayed and prayed and prayed, but he didn’t make it.” I sighed.
I couldn’t stop crying even if I tried. I haven’t even told Christian the details from when my father died, but somehow I was finding it easy to trust his mother.
“I find comfort in God’s presence. But Zoe, Gabe will survive this. They’ll find a match real soon. I know they will. Can I show you something?”
“Yeah, sure.” I wiped my eyes with my sleeve and grabbed another tissue. I was getting very congested from all of the crying.
His mom opened her purse and pulled something out. It looked like it was a picture, but she stared at the back of it for quite some time before turning it over.
“I carry this with me everywhere I go. It’s a picture of the boys. It was taken the day before we lost James. We took it on the quad when James moved in. Did my boy ever tell you the full story of what happened?”
“No, he didn’t. We haven’t really talked about the details of my father’s death much or his brother’s, just that they’re no longer with us.”
“We had just left him at school. We didn’t leave the area, but we had just said goodbye. A few of his roommates went out drinking that night and asked for him to pick them up. Since he always wanted to be a good friend and put others first, he didn’t refuse. He was headed to pick them up when he saw a car on the side of the road with its lights flashing. Luckily, he brought a friend he had just met with him who could tell me exactly what happened that night. He went to the car to see if the people needed any help. The man in the driver’s seat appeared to have had a heart attack.”
The story sounded all too familiar to me. It couldn’t be.
“They didn’t know how long he was sitting there before they found him. James went to go run back to the car to grab his phone to call 911, and as he was running toward the car,” she paused, “a drunk driver came around the corner.”
She flipped the picture around and I stared at the picture before me. I looked at the two boys, one of whom had a face I have never been able to forget. I replayed what she was saying over and over in my head. I replayed everything that has happened between Christian and me. I replayed the night my father died over and over.
I looked over to the pew I sat in that very night. I closed my eyes and the memories came flashing back to me. I remembered the way he held my hand when I started to cry, how there was a sense of calmness in his voice, and how even through a dark time, he somehow managed to make me smile.
That little boy who consoled me as my father was dying in the hospital, the boy who remained anonymous to me—it was Christian. Which meant the y
oung man who tried to save my father’s life, who gave me those few last few minutes with my father, was James.
I looked up at the cross on the altar and then did what I only knew to do in that moment—pray.
{41}
Christian
I waited in suspense for the results while sitting outside of the exam room. My mind was running endlessly. I knew I should be back by Gabe with Zoe, but I didn’t want her to know what I was doing in case I wasn’t going to be a match good enough. Hopefully my mom was there by now to help out if she needed anything.
“Chris?”
“Yeah.” I lifted my head up, and Dr. Sheehan was standing over me. “Did you get the results?”
“If we do this, you are going to have to rest for two days, which means you won’t be able to play in the game.”
“No, I’m going to do this. It’s just a game.”
“Are you sure? Do you want to call your coach? It’s a pretty big game. Isn’t it the championship game?”
“Yeah, I’ll handle it. Does that mean I’m a match?”
“Yes. You are a match and everything looks like it would be perfect. I can’t even believe it. I don’t know how, but you are.” Dr. Sheehan was muttering. I don’t think she was handling this very well either.
I stood up. “Great, let’s go then. Let’s save his life.”
“Alright then. Tracy, take Mr. Michaels and get him prepped. Tell my staff to meet me in OR 2 for a bone marrow transplant.” She spoke over to the nurse behind the desk handing her paperwork to fill out.
I took a deep breath. On the walk with the nurse, I picked up my phone and called my coach.
“It’s Michaels. I can’t play in the game. Put Smith in instead. He deserves playing time. I’m about to save Gabe’s life. I’ll be watching. Win it for Gabe.”
I left the message on his voicemail.
This was going to work. This had to work. Gabe needed to survive this. He needed to beat this. After everything, he had to. He just had to. I walked into the exam room, where Tracy handed me a hospital gown and started to do a write up.
“Put this on, and I’ll be right back so we can get started shortly.” She spoke as she shut the door behind her.
The events of tonight reminded me of the picture I saw on Zoe’s nightstand. I recognized that little girl in the picture from the chapel that very night. I didn’t even know how to bring it up to Zoe since I found it.
It blows my mind that neither of us had figured it out before. Did Zoe have any suspicions about it? Did she know, and was she also afraid to bring it up? It was honestly hard for me to comprehend.
I’m not sure what I believe right now, if this was all just a coincidence or if God placed us in each other’s lives for a reason. Was I always meant to save Gabe? If James hadn’t saved her father’s life, would I have even met her? If James didn’t die that night, would I have even gone to Siena? Since James saved her dad’s life, why wouldn’t I be able to save Gabe’s?
I sat here trembling. The many thoughts that flooded my mind brought me to tears. I wanted to tell Zoe about this so bad. I wanted to be with her right now more than anything. Holding her close and rubbing her back, telling her that everything would be okay. Right now she needed me more than ever, and she probably thinks I abandoned her during an incredibly difficult time. But right at this moment, I was in the same position as my brother was several years ago. I had a chance to save Gabe’s life and to save this family.
{42}
Zoe
Some days I think are the worst days of my life. I've had several of those in my lifetime. But right now? Right now tops how I've felt in all of those moments. This has been the most difficult time of my entire life. I constantly worried if Gabe was going to survive this. Was this going to work? The only thing keeping my mind off of Gabe was my recent discovery.
Walking back from the chapel, Emily ran up to me.
“Where have you been? Dr. Sheehan was just looking for you.”
“Is everything okay?” She scared me.
“I don’t know! She said she would check to see if you were back in a minute.” Emily was panicked.
I paced back and forth. Did she have good news? Was it more bad news? I’m not sure I could take any more bad news.
Looking up from my feet, I noticed that Dr. Sheehan was walking straight toward me, and Mrs. Michaels grabbed my hand.
“How is he? Is he okay?”
“There’s been no change in his condition. I’m sorry.”
“That's it?” I was confused.
“No, I have good news.” Dr. Sheehan pulled down her mask and Emily came closer.
“We have a match. We’re pulling Gabe in for surgery now.”
“Oh my God.” I cried hysterically in Mrs. Michaels’ arms, who had also begun crying. Emily stood behind me and rubbed my arm.
“Are you sure this is going to work?”
“I promise you that we're going to do everything we can.”
Before she walked away, I could have sworn I saw a tear fall from her eyes. Knowing Dr. Sheehan cared about Gabe as an individual, as more than just her patient, helped me trust her.
“I’ll go call Janice for you to let her know.” Emily took her phone out of her pocket and walked a few feet away.
“Thank you.”
I sat down to catch my breath, to let this all settle in.
Where was Christian? I was restless, waiting for him. I needed him right here with me. But there was no sign of him anywhere. He couldn’t have left. Where could he be?
The effects of the alcohol were wearing off, and my anxiety was at its highest. I needed Gabe to fight. I needed him to fight harder than he ever has before. It killed me that I couldn’t do anything for him. In times like these, I needed my parents.
I gently leaned my head on Christian’s mom’s shoulder and held Emily’s hand as she sat down. I was so grateful for them during times like these.
*
A light tapping on my shoulder awoke me from a deep sleep. When Gabe returned from surgery a few hours later, I was glued to his bedside. I must have fallen asleep with my head on his bed.
“Is everything okay?” I was startled.
I looked up, and it was Danielle.
“Zoe, come with me,” she whispered.
“Wait, what? I can’t leave Gabe. He’s not awake yet.”
“He’ll be out for a little while longer. Don’t worry. Everything’s fine, but come with me,” she insisted and walked me down the hallway to the other room. I was still half asleep and my eyes were heavy from all of the crying.
“The donor wants to talk to you.”
My eyes lit up. “Wait, the donor is here, in this hospital? I just thought that they got it from some other hospital.”
“Yes, he’s here. Go ahead, right in there.” She pointed into a room.
I walked in and then walked around the corner. I don’t know how I didn’t know before, but when I saw who was sitting in the bed, I cried again.
“Oh my God!” I ran up to Christian and gave him a kiss.
“Hi, beautiful,” he said with groggy eyes.
“You were a match? I can’t believe it. Oh my God. I can’t. Wait, what? How did this happen?”
“I just hope this works.”
“It will. I will never be able to repay you for this.”
“You don't have to.”
“Yes, I do.”
The tears continued to flow down my cheeks. I didn’t think I could cry anymore, but apparently I still had some tears left.
“I’ve been undergoing tests for weeks. Surprise.” He let out a small smile.
“Is there anything else you’re hiding from me?” I laughed.
“Well, there is one thing. When I was at your house a few weeks ago I saw this picture of you from when you were younger—”
I interrupted him.
“I was just sitting in the chapel with your mom. She showed me a picture of your brother and told me about t
he day he passed away. Then I realized.”
“How didn't we know before?” His eyes locked on mine.
“It’s unbelievable.”
We sat there in silence for what seemed like a while, taking it all in. I laid by his side and he wrapped his arm tightly around my body. For a while, I forgot about all of the problems that have occurred over the last twenty-four hours.
“Can you do me a favor?”
“Yeah, what do you need?” I responded kindly.
“Can you stand over by the window for a moment and close your eyes?”
“What? Why?”
“Just do what I say, okay?” He demanded.
“What drugs do they have you on?” I laughed but obeyed his orders.
“I can't believe you are missing what could be the biggest game of your career for this.”
“This was more important.” I heard some movement and wanted to look. I was desired to know what he was up to.
“Okay, you can turn around now.”
I spun around and wasn’t expecting him to be right behind me down on his knee.
“Eight years ago, when all hope was lost in the world, when I sat in God’s presence and prayed for a miracle, I prayed for happiness and for a sign that everything would be okay. Then that’s when I saw you.
“It may have taken us eight years to find each other again, but I believe we are right where we are supposed to be. God places people in our lives for a reason. Every moment I am with you, you make me the happiest man on earth.
“I love you with all of my heart. You and Gabe are my whole life now. I can’t picture another day without either of you in it. I want us to be a family. So…”
He opened his fist and held up a beautiful ring. Before he could even ask, I already knew what my answer would be.
“Will you marry me?” He asked and the room looked like it was spinning. I slowly walked backward until the back of my knees hit the chair behind me.
“I love you Zoe, I know this seems quick but when you know, you just know.” He placed his hands on my knees.