Scripted Reality

by Karen Frances

  “I think you need to get out of here. Get out of the house and get some fresh air. Being cooped up here isn’t helping you. We could go for a drive after you’ve spoken to your dad. Grab some lunch somewhere no one will bother us.”

  “I’m not sure.” Deep within, I know he’s right, but it’s taking these first steps. I’m afraid I’ll fail miserably. Self-doubt has lingered within me now for so long.

  “You might not be but you need it. Now, go do whatever you women do and come downstairs. Your dad is already here and has lots to tell us.” He kisses me on the head before getting off the bed and leaving the room.

  I suppose I should move it now as my dad is here to see me. First important step of today is to get showered and dressed.

  Yes, small steps. I’m sure I’m going to keep reminding myself of these on a daily basis until I’m at a place I want to be.

  “There you are,” Dad says as I enter the kitchen. He stands as I walk toward him and wraps his arms around me. “Are you okay?” he asks. I wonder if Connor has told him about my dream. I look at Connor and he shakes his head in response to my silent question. How does he do that? How does he know what’s going on in my head? Especially when I don’t. I need to pull myself together because I don’t want my dad to be worrying about me constantly.

  “Yes. Still a little tired but I’m better than I have been.” My eyes dart to Connor. Is he the reason I feel a little better? I’m sure he is part of the reason.

  “Well, that’s something. Now, sit down. Connor has made some tea and toast. He tells me you didn’t eat much last night.”

  “Connor, you know you shouldn’t tell tales,” I scold him.

  “Is that right?” he teases, handing me a cup of tea. “I did leave out the part where I had to carry you to bed because of the amount of alco . . .”

  “Connor!”

  “Really?” Dad asks.

  “No, but it was funny seeing Ella’s reaction.” Dad laughs with him and suddenly I feel like it’s two against one.

  “I don’t even think I had two glasses of wine and, yes, I felt it.”

  “My gorgeous girl, I’m sure you did, what with not sleeping . . .”

  “Dad, please. I’ll try and take better care of myself.”

  “I know you will, sweetheart. Now, let’s get down to business,” he says seriously as Connor takes the seat opposite me. “First things first. I have a new agent for you both. In my opinion, he’s the best in the business and not even Donovan Bell comes close to him.”

  I smile because I already have a feeling who it will be. Trevor Stephens, my dad’s agent and closest friend. If I remember correctly, they’ve been friends for thirty-five years and he’s my godfather.

  Trevor and my dad are so alike; some people think they’re brothers. They have similar features and the same sense of humour and are both possessive of me and Callum.

  “Trevor would like to meet you both either separately or together to go through a few things. Now, there may be a few issues with your contracts with Donovan. Ella, yours might be easier to get out of because of what’s going on if you decide to take this further, but we can discuss this. There is also the small matter that he hasn’t sent you some proposals and scripts for you to look over.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, the soap opera isn’t the only thing he’s withheld from you. You should’ve been sent scripts for two separate movies. I’ve already got Trevor looking into this for you.”

  “Oh.”

  “Connor, your contract won’t be so easy to get out of because he has fulfilled his end for you.”

  “If I have to buy my way out of his contract I will because I can’t and won’t work with someone I don’t trust.”

  “You’re a good lad. Trevor and our lawyer will look and see if there is any way around it and get back to you. Now, the proposal for the soap opera is really interesting. I know the programme is going really well. Viewing figures are high and consistent and they are considering putting on an extra show a week. Ella, Trevor will have in his hand the full proposal for you on Monday and I really think you should give it some consideration and then negotiations will start.”

  “I will.” Because one, I want to work, and two, it would mean I can start supporting myself again.

  “You both should because it does come with a great deal and plenty of time off for other projects as and when they come up. I know you have lots to think about. Connor, you maybe more than Ella because it would mean you spending more time here in Scotland and I know how much you love to spread your wings.”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Being here does come with its advantages. Although, if I decide to stay I should probably start looking for my own place. I can’t keep staying here with Ella and I hate hotel rooms.”

  “Well, you can let Trevor know and, if you want to start looking for a house, I’m sure he’ll sort that for you. Ella, can you at least eat something?” I completely forgot that’s what I was meant to be doing with the conversation going on.

  “There,” I say, biting into a piece of toast.

  “Now, my other news is about Donovan.” I try not to cough and splutter. “The fact is, he’s broke.”

  I laugh. “Is that all you have? Even I knew that.”

  “Ella, all his accounts are in the red. He owes a lot of people money, and not the sort of people you’d want to be associated with. There is some good news for you; after running credit searches, there are no other debts in your name. I was really worried he would’ve taken out credit cards in your name but he hasn’t. So, that’s something to be thankful for. Only the cars and this house which I will clear because, well, I don’t need an excuse or a reason to keep my daughter safe and I won’t justify this to you.”

  I can’t help but smile even though, if I hadn’t been so foolish, he wouldn’t be bailing me out. Connor tells Dad all about Donovan’s phone call last night. “So, that leads me to a question. Ella, are you going to attend Connor’s UK premiere?”

  “I don’t know,” I say, glancing between them. “I hadn’t given it any thought.”

  “Well, you should. I’m going so you wouldn’t be alone. And I think you need to be seen out and about again. Speculation is mounting because you’ve been cooped up here and he’s across the Atlantic wining and dining every available actress.”

  “I don’t know. I’m not ready to be seen out and about, as you put it, with anybody.”

  “That’s not what I meant and you know it. But you should be going out. There’s so much happening here in Scotland, in the industry. Your last public appearance as far as everyone is concerned was for your last movie six months ago. Sweetheart, in this industry, that’s a long time.”

  “I’ll think about it,” I say.

  “You’ll do more than think about it. It would mean a lot to me if you came to the premiere. I want you there,” Connor says softly, looking directly into my eyes. “And anyway . . .” His tone changes to the playful tone I’m used to hearing. “You and I are going out today, even if I have to drag you kicking and screaming.” I turn to my dad for help and he’s smiling at Connor. Looks like they really are ganging up on me.

  I’m not going to win.

  Not with any of them.

  “CAN YOU PLEASE SLOW DOWN and remember this is my car and I love her,” I say as Connor takes another bend too quickly. My wee car doesn’t know what’s going on. It’s not used to all this erratic driving.

  “Will you just relax?”

  “I might if you slow down.” He laughs at me. Laughs as he takes yet another corner on this country road. I swear, if I survive this little road trip that he insisted taking me on, he might not. I turn away from watching him because it’s not doing my blood pressure any good. He hasn’t even told me where we’re going. I’m sure my dad knew before we left but he wasn’t letting on either. He just looked happy that I was going out instead of sitting around my house feeling sorry for myself.

  Archie McGregor is t
he kindest man in the world and I’m so lucky to have him as my dad and friend. He gave me a kiss and whispered in my ear before he left. He’s put money into my bank account. I told him I didn’t want it, but he said, “It’s too late and it’s staying there.” Of course, I thanked him and told him as soon as I’m back on my feet financially I’ll repay him. His reply was to not be so silly. It’s made me think he’s only doing what any loving dad would do to look out for and protect his family.

  But that in itself has got me thinking. I’m fortunate, but what about those who aren’t? Those who don’t have family and friends to turn to in their hour of need. What do they do?

  My dad’s question about Connor’s premiere has also got me thinking. Maybe I should go, but then again, maybe it’s also time for me to read whatever has been written about me and Donovan over the last few weeks. Time for me to deal with and put an end to all the speculation. Because until one of us speaks out, that’s all it is.

  Why do I get the feeling it will be me speaking out? Maybe Callum is the one I need to speak to. After all, he is a television presenter and reporter. He would give me all the details I need to know and maybe he’s the one I should do an exclusive interview with. After all, it would be easier for me talking to my brother than some other presenter or reporter who would only want a pound of flesh.

  I can only do that when I’m one hundred and ten percent sure of what I want. And I know I don’t want Donovan Bell in my life. What we had is gone. He took that away with his lies and dishonesty. Do I still love him? No. I did, that’s why what he’s done hurts, because I didn’t expect someone I loved to treat me the way he has treated me.

  I’m sure as the days pass, it’ll get easier but, until then, I’ll deal with it the best way I can, with lots of help from family and friends. I should start with dropping Julie a text and arrange to see her before she doesn’t want to see me again.

  Missing you. I really do need to see you so I can explain x

  She replies instantly: About bloody time. How about a night on the town tonight?

  Me: Oh, go on. Why not? I’ll probably regret my answer but I really want and need to see her.

  Julie: Ok, I’ll be at yours 8pm and we can get ready together x

  Me: See you then x

  “What are you smiling about?” Connor asks, parking the car. I look around and we’re at a beach. There’s no other cars in this small car park, so it looks like we’ll get to go for a peaceful walk in the open air.

  “I’ve just texted Julie. I need to explain why I’ve not seen her in what feels like forever. She’s coming over at eight and dragging me out.”

  “A night out on the town. Just don’t wake me up when you come in. Or maybe I’ll need to stay up to help your drunken arse up the stairs again.”

  “Hey, cheeky.” I playfully slap his arm.

  “I’m only teasing, but if you’re off out for a night on the town, I might phone Callum and see what he’s up to. Hopefully it will help clear the air between us.”

  “Or you could come out with us. Never know, you might even find your perfect girl.”

  He frowns, getting out of the car, and mumbles something.

  “What?”

  “Nothing,” he says, shaking his head. “Come on. Let’s go for a walk. The fresh air will do you some good. But if you feel tired, you have to tell me.”

  “Will you stop fussing? I’m not ill.”

  “No, you’re not, but if you don’t start eating properly you soon will be. And two bites from this morning’s toast doesn’t count. I’ve kinda promised your dad I would look after you.”

  “Well, Connor Andrews, you shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep.” I step away from him and start walking toward the beach.

  “I’ll keep them.” His words surprise me, but I do think he’ll at least try and keep his promise to my dad.

  He’s right. Fresh air is what I need. He’s behind me only a few paces and I’m glad he brought me out. I carry on walking toward the coastline, small waves splashing against the pebbled sand. I stop when I’m close to the water, close my eyes, and take a deep breath, breathing in the fresh sea air.

  I sense him standing beside me before I open my eyes. It’s weirdly comforting being around him. “It’s nice out here,” he says.

  “Yes, it is. Thank you.”

  I turn to face him. He looks serious. “What for?”

  “I’m not really sure, if I’m honest. For bringing me out.” He nor my dad and brother won’t really know what I’ve been through these last few weeks. Yes, they can all guess, but they won’t know the truth. The sleepless nights. The fear I’ve felt when I had the television on that there would be something on about Donovan. I always ended up switching it off. The panic attacks that I suffered on my own, no one with words of encouragement to help me through it. No one there to hold my hand or hold me in their arms and tell me everything would be okay.

  No one was there because I chose not to tell them what was going on in my life. I chose to keep everything bottled up. I tried to deal with it on my own. But how do you deal with all that crap?

  I pushed Julie away the farthest because, unlike my dad and Callum, she’s been in the country the last few weeks. She suspected something was wrong. Seeing her tonight is my chance to apologise and put things right between us.

  It’s my chance to get myself back on track.

  Now should be about me. Not Donovan bloody Bell.

  Connor puts his arm around my waist and I lean in, resting my head on his shoulder. “Hey, don’t friends look out for each other? You’d do the same for me. And I know there must be loads going through your head about my friendship with Donovan. Here’s where I stand, just in case I haven’t made it clear. Our friendship is gone and I wouldn’t even know where to begin to try and justify what he’s done to you.”

  “I know. But this must be hard on you.”

  “Not really. You’re my friend and the thought that he’s deliberately hurt you isn’t something that sits well with me.”

  “I think I need to see for myself what’s been going on with him.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, I saw an article while I was in the hairdressers. He was with Katherine Hunter. So who else has he been out with and in what capacity?”

  “Ella, will finding out really make a difference?”

  “I don’t know, but it might help me to move forward. Put him where he belongs. In my past.”

  “The only place he deserves to be is in jail for fraud.” I turn back, looking out to sea as tears fill my eyes. Connor is right; I know he is. That’s what Donovan has done after all; committed a crime. He’s right. My dad’s right. It seems I’m in the wrong for not wanting this to get out.

  I listen to the sound of the water splashing against the rocky shoreline and my thoughts drift to happier times. I’ve blocked out the noise of the seagulls overhead. There’s always been something soothing about being by the sea. I’ve always loved it. That could be because, as children, Callum and I would spend lots of time with our parents at the beach. Dad’s schedule was always busy but, when he was home, his time was devoted to us completely. Mum’s time with us was precious. It’s only now she’s gone that I can truly appreciate how precious it was.

  If she was here now, what would she say about everything? If she was here, I know I would’ve told her at the first sign of trouble. She was always the one I could turn to. She never criticised me or judged me on my decisions, but she was always there when I needed her the most.

  The tears that were in my eyes moments ago fall as I think of my mum. She would hate to see me the way I’ve been. And that’s why I’m standing here in the middle of a beach with Connor’s arm around me, crying, because part of me knows this whole situation would have hurt my mum.

  “Hey. What are these for?” Connor asks, stepping before me.

  “My mum.” Connor pulls me into a warm embrace and I sink into his arms and let go.

 
; He holds me tighter. “Ella, everything is going to be okay, and your mum, she’d be so proud of you. She’d also be mad at you for this, but she loved you. That was clear.”

  I let Connor console me because I’m too tired to do anything else. He’s the one person I never thought would be by my side. But as he holds me in his arms, all the stress and anxiety I’ve felt since I found out about Donovan somehow doesn’t seem so relevant.

  “Ella, you deserve to be happy. You deserve the world. I hate seeing you so sad. Christ, I’ve only been here a day and it’s breaking my heart. You might put a smile on your face, but you’re still hiding and, until you make the decision to let it go, it’s going to eat away at you.”

  “I wish it was so easy.”

  “Life is what you make it. You will come out of this mess with a smile on your face because that’s the type of person you are. You’re strong and determined but that doesn’t mean you can’t have this moment of weakness. We all have our weaknesses.” He takes hold of my hand and squeezes it and I want to ask him what’s his weakness, but I don’t. I stare out to sea and I feel better. Better is a good starting place. I can go on and build from this.

  I hope.

  CONNOR’S WORDS AS WE STOOD on the beach earlier today have been playing over and over in my mind. Yes, I’ve always been strong, and now, I’m showing my weakest side. I’m at my most vulnerable and that frightens me.

  The world, the media, they’ve always seen my strong side and I’m not sure I want them to see this side of me.

  My tears have long gone and the smile that’s been on my face the rest of the day hasn’t been painted on. It’s real because Connor has made me feel like me again. I feel human. I’ve laughed so hard at some of the funny things he’s said, stupid things that made no sense. It’s been a fun filled day, and he took me for lunch. A little quaint place where nobody knew either of us. If they did recognise us, they didn’t let on.