by Raathi Chota
“I’m sorry,” Miranda said as we drove in silence. I snapped my head at her and furrowed my eyebrows. “About Blake and Kelly.” I scoffed and looked out the window.
“Like I care.”
“Oh, but you do, girl. Everyone felt sorry for you.” She frowned at me. I remembered people stared at me with pity in their eyes—that or they laughed.
“I don’t care,” I said and sighed deeply. The rest of the ride home was quiet, yet Miranda tried to cheer me up.
***
“What in the world are you wearing?” Dad asked as soon as I got home. I forgot he was on the night shift; he’d probably leave in the next few hours.
“I don’t know, Dad.” I sighed as I walked up the stairs.
“Young lady, you stop right there and tell me what the hell is going on!” he said behind me. I flinched as I slowly turned around.
“Nothing,” I mumbled as my thoughts drifted off to what happened with Levi and me last year. Right at this moment, I got the same feeling.
“Nothing, my ass! I didn’t raise you like this! Why do you look like you’ve just come from doing…drugs?” he yelled as I closed my eyes. “Lana! Talk to me! Are you doing drugs?” he shouted, then approached me. I looked down and saw his gun in its holster. I got scared at the sight of a gun. He was going to leave soon since he had his uniform on. He was the sheriff of one of the small towns in Illinois, the closest one to the city.
“No, Dad, I’d never do such a thing!” I exclaimed as tears formed in my eyes. How could he think I did drugs? I knew I looked like a mess. My hair was all over the place. My makeup was messed up, and there were holes in my tights.
“Your mother will come home late. If I hear anything about you while you’re here at home, I’m coming straight back and arresting those two boys! I don’t want them near you!” he scowled. “Go to your room!”
I ran up the stairs, slammed the door, and leaned against it, then sunk down. I closed my eyes and breathed as I tried to remain calm. It felt like I’ve been doing this for weeks, but it’s only day two. I wanted to give in, but I didn’t want Blake to win.
A little while later, I heard the front door close, and a car drove off…then I cried my heart out. I barely cried, but when I did, it wouldn’t be over one thing—being called the “good girl.” Bullied by everyone in the school for the past few years. The feeling that everything that happened last year was my fault. Being treated as a joke in the cafeteria earlier. People said I looked for the bad boy’s attention when I wore these clothes. Everything was falling apart.
***
I wasn’t going to let my dad ruin everything, so I made myself look at least presentable for the day. I’d cried for two hours last night, then had a bath. Mom came home and saw the state I was in, so we had take-out. No questions were asked, and I always knew Mom would be there for me. I slipped on a big gray shirt, black jeans, and maroon Doc Martens. Like Blake, I just didn’t care. I put on my glasses and put my hair up in a bun. I had my usual breakfast with Mom, then Dad entered the room.
“I’m taking you to school today,” he said as he grabbed his keys. My eyes widened as I spat out my coffee.
“Oh, sweetie, that won’t be necessary. You just got back an hour ago. Go rest,” Mom assured Dad as she rested her palm against his chest.
“I want to,” he said as he let go of her hand and walked outside. I stared at Mom for help, but she sighed.
“If any cute boy comes, I’ll tell them you got another ride.” She smiled. I sighed as I sipped my coffee. Then I heard Dad’s car, which startled me. I got up and scurried outside.
The car ride felt like an eternity while Dad lectured me and I nodded. We were a block away from the school.
“Err, Dad, you can stop here…I can walk,” I said, then gave him my best smile. He shook his head and drove on. I wish the bell rang, and I’d run in. Everyone seemed to be outside today, even the guys. They sat in Carter’s truck.
“Just, please…Lana, don’t do anything stupid,” Dad said as I got out of the car. I nodded, then shut the door. I looked down at my shoes as I walked. People stared at me—not the stare of why did she come out of the Sheriff’s car, but a look of shame and pity. I kept a straight face as I walked up to the building and tried to block out the things I heard.
***
I sat in the back, but I still felt eyes on me. Aidan sat next to me, and Blake was on the other side. Carter and Ethan sat in front of me. I was surrounded.
“Lana.”
“Lana.”
“What?” I snapped. I realized Aidan spoke to me, so I turned to him.
“Are we still on for the fourth period?” he asked. I almost forgot that Aidan told me to help him with a prank he wanted to do. I breathed in as they watched me. I had to do it. I wasn’t scared, and I could do it if I’m careful. I slowly nodded. A small smile appeared on his lips, but I looked away…rather at Blake. He smirked, and I rolled my eyes. I wish I slapped that smirk off his face.
I was in the fourth period, Home Economics. Aidan was in Chemistry, and his prank was up and ready to go. I put oil into the pan to make stir-fry, but I accidentally put too much in but shrugged. I checked the time. 11:18. Two more minutes. Mrs. Hartwell came to look at my food, and her eyes almost fell out of her sockets as she saw the oil.
“Child! Dispose of that now! Too much!” she said. I turned off the stove and picked up the pan and threw it into the recycle bin. Suddenly, I heard sounds of paper burning. Mrs. Hartwell’s eyes widened, and I looked at the time again. 11:20. I ran to the emergency lever and pulled on it; simultaneously I heard another one, and I visualized Aidan pulling his. “Everyone, evacuate!” Mrs. Hartwell shouted as everyone ran out. We’ve practiced it a million of times, but when something happened, everyone went bonkers. I saw Aidan in the sea of students. He ran up to me and grabbed my arm, and we went the other way. The abandoned side of the school was where his car was, and he opened the door for me while I got in. When the emergency lever went off, we could go home; after five minutes, the teachers would go back and check what caused it.
“That was incredible!” I said as we drove off.
“I know, right? The teacher was right next to me, and he told me not to put that chemical in, so I said ‘this one,’ then added it in and…boom!” he said as we laughed.
“I swear my teacher almost had a heart attack!” I laughed as we drove past all the houses. The area didn’t look familiar to me. “Where we going?”
“You’ll see.” He grinned. I shivered and glanced out my window. A few houses passed, followed by a bunch of trees and then…nothing. My eyes widened as I saw dirt outside. “Relax, we’re just going to hang out…somewhere,” he mumbled. We pulled up to what looked to be an old cottage. I saw two cars and a familiar motorcycle. I thought it’d only be Aidan and me. “So what was the deal with your dad dropping you off? You do something naughty?” He wiggled his brows, and I playfully punched him.
“No…he was upset with my appearance and the fact that guys are picking me up and dropping me off now,” I mumbled. Dad was honestly pathetic; he didn’t trust me.
We walked into the cottage to see the rest of the guys. Inside looked much better. It seemed cozy, a big L-shaped sofa with a TV, bar, bathroom, and two other rooms. It had a small kitchen, and band posters were plastered everywhere.
“Speak of the devil,” Ethan said as he saw me. I grinned and sat next to him and Blake. Carter and Blake smoked, which bothered me. At first, when we met, they barely smoked, but now all they did was smoke. I turned around to see Ethan light two cigarettes. I didn’t like it. Surrounded by four tall, muscular dudes in the middle of nowhere.
“What now?” I looked at them; they were too engrossed with the thing between their lips to even acknowledge my existence.
“Let’s get to know each other.” Ethan smiled as he blew out the tobacco smoke through his nose.
“Dude…we’re not fourteen. I think we know each other too well,” Carter sa
id.
“I don’t,” I piped up.
“All right, let’s play,” Blake said. “We all have to answer truthfully, okay?” he asked. “This one is for you, Lana. Are you scared?”
“Of what?” I laughed.
“Getting caught.”
“I already did.”
“That still doesn’t answer the question. Are you scared, yes or no?” he demanded. I looked at the guys for help, but they were too mesmerized with their cigarettes.
“No,” I said as I bit the inside of my cheek.
“Then smoke.” He smirked at me. My eyes widened at what he said. He held out the cigarette and waited. The guys stopped for my response. I had to do it; he was testing me. I knew if I took it, he wouldn’t bother me; if I didn’t, he’d say I was scared and win. I stared at the familiar thing between his fingers then took in the scent. I slowly took it as I watched the smirk play onto his face. I closed my eyes and put the familiar scent between my lips and inhaled. The smoke flowed through my lungs, and I slowly removed the cigarette from my mouth and exhaled. I opened my eyes to see their stares. It was common to cough at a first attempt, but thankfully, I’d done it before with Levi. “How did you—?”
“When did you learn—”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m all right,” I replied. They looked at me in awe as I inhaled the stupid thing again.
“You’re full of surprises, Lana,” Ethan said as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder.
“My baby is growing up!” Aidan cheered. Blake stared in shock, but it changed into a smirk. He stretched out his hand and pointed to my cigarette.
“Nu-huh…get your own, pretty boy,” I said as I blew out smoke in his face. He grinned and took another cigarette. It was weird at first. Then I thought about my family, mostly my dad. He was right. I was raised correctly and with good manners; things like that should never slip my mind once. I sighed as I crushed the cigarette in the ashtray. I got up and walked to the other side of the sofa, so I was opposite them. “What does this make us?” I asked. They stayed quiet for a bit, then looked at Blake, even me. It made sense since he started the bet.
“I don’t know…friends?” he asked, then shook his head. “Look, Lana, if you want to back out of this and return to the normal, boring, bullied, loser, geek—”
“I get it…and no, I don’t. It’s actually fun with you guys.” I smiled. They gave a warm smile in return. It was the first time I’d seen them smile since all they did was smirk at me; their smiles individually were beautiful.
“I’d love to be your friend, Lana,” Ethan said while the rest nodded in agreement. It was only temporary, though, so I’d smoke even if it’s okay. A few days wouldn’t hurt anyone. Even if it meant to bring out the old Lana that only revealed itself when Levi Radcliff came.
“I need to use the bathroom,” I said after I smoked another cigarette. Two weren’t as bad as Blake, who did eight in a day.
“Sure…down the hall, second door on your left,” Ethan said. I thanked him and got up then walked to the bathroom. I didn’t need the bathroom. I heard the guys talk as I shut the door. I looked at myself in the mirror. I had bags under my eyes, and my hair was messy. I cupped my hand over my mouth and smelled my breath. Yikes. I opened the top cabinet and searched for mouthwash or something but didn’t find any…only cologne and condoms. In the back were weird parcels, but I totally ignored them. I checked the bottom cabinet under the basin and saw more of the strange packages. I sighed, got up, and fixed my hair, then washed my face. I flushed the toilet and still washed my hands, then walked out of the bathroom.
After an hour, Carter, Aidan, and Ethan decided to go. Blake said he’d take me home, and I argued because I was scared to ride his motorcycle, but he insisted.
“Why me?” I asked once silence took over. I laid on the sofa while Blake sat opposite me, for once not smoking. He looked at me in confusion but finally understood.
“I don’t know…you’re different,” he said. I rolled my eyes at his cliché statement. I knew I was different, considering everyone at school thought I was a whore who looked for attention from the four hierarchy guys. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled as he played with his fingers. “Sorry you had to get dropped off by your father, and sorry I acted like a dick the past few days.”
“Don’t worry. That’s my punishment.”
“That’s kind of sad.”
“You get used to it,” I said. Whenever I did something stupid or behaved weird, my dad insisted on driving me to school.
“I watched you…” he said, and I raised a brow.
“Were you stalking me, Gunner?” I turned to him. His eyes widened but turned into that stupid smirk.
“When I got to school, all the girls were hooked on me, but you seemed annoyed and pissed,” he said as I raised a brow. “It amused me to see you roll your eyes at me or look at me in disgust. I asked the guys about you, and they said you’re ‘Geeky Lana’ or just a loser.
“I watched you get bullied by Benny…I thought you’d never speak to me, but when Ethan stopped to pick you up that day, and when you surprised us by rocking out to “Happy Song” instead of blocking your ears or something…I knew something was up. I was intrigued and wanted to know more about you, and this was the only way.”
“But why?”
“We’re teenagers, Lana. You should act like one. You’re too serious. Your dad has you so focused on school and scaring you—”
“I’m not scared—”
“That you’re not enjoying your youth. We’re teenagers. We’re supposed to do stupid, ridiculous things and take chances.” He cut me off. I turned to my side and buried my face into the sofa. “I’m doing this to show you how to enjoy your high school experience, take risks, and to bring out the side nobody has ever seen,” he said as I heard footsteps. “I went to your place last night. It looked dead. I knocked on the door, and there was no answer, then I went to your window and heard crying.”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I mumbled into the sofa after a while. I felt the couch sink in, then another body get onto it. His arm dug around my body and wrapped around my waist, and his other hand came up to my face. He took a lock of hair and put it behind my ear.
“You don’t have to tell me, but are you okay?” he whispered in my ear as my brows rose. Right then and there I wanted to cry, but I had to keep it in. I slowly nodded, then relaxed into his hold.
***
Blake
I honestly felt sorry for her; she showed up to school in the sheriff’s car. I felt like a douche. I didn’t know why I did it—though Carter got on my nerves, I wanted to ask her to Homecoming, but I knew she’d say no. She hated me, plus Kelly West was a damn good kisser, so how could I say no one more time?
I went to her house yesterday. The lights were out, no cars were in the driveway, and I wasn’t sure if anyone was home. I knocked on the door, but there was no answer, so I went to her bedroom window. It was dark, too. I climbed the tree to get to her window, and I heard a strange sound. As I got closer, the noise got louder. I sat on the branch and listened. She cried. I made her cry. I debated on whether I should knock on her window and go in and comfort her, but a car pulled up the driveway. She turned on the light, and that’s the first time I saw her like that, lifeless. Her eyes were bloodshot, makeup ran down her face, and her hair looked tangled. She went to the bathroom. I took it as a sign to leave. Then when I saw her today with a pissed look, it made me laugh. She looked so cute, yet I wanted to annoy the shit out of her. I’m glad Aidan had that ridiculously stupid prank, otherwise we wouldn’t be here. She wouldn’t be here. I didn’t know why I did it; I thought she’d push me off the sofa, but she gave in. I wrapped my arms around her and drifted off to sleep.
“Blake…it’s dark.”
“Good to know,” I said. Of course, it’s dark, because my eyes were closed.
“Blake…it’s dark outside!” she exclaimed. My eyes shot open as I sat up.
“You? He’s going to kill me!” I panicked. Lana stared at me as she put her glasses on; to be honest, she looked cute with those glasses. A smirk grew on her face as she walked closer to me; the smell of tobacco went through my nose as she opened her mouth.
“Is someone scared?” She pursed her lips. I rolled my eyes, then grabbed her hand. We walked to my motorcycle, and she got on with no argument. “Can we stop at the gas station quickly?”
We pulled up at the gas station, and she sprinted into the store as I followed. We went our separate ways to get a few things. Two minutes to be exact, and we were at the cashier. I had a lighter and box of gum while Lana freaked out. She took a pack of mints and three boxes of gum. I chuckled as she took out her wallet. I offered to pay, but she shook her head and quickly paid.
“I am fucking screwed,” she said as we walked to my motorcycle. She stuffed her mouth with mints, and all I heard were her grinds. I laughed as we got on my bike; I found it cute when she panicked. Her glasses fell to her nose, and she cussed.
We pulled up to her house minutes later, and I saw her mother’s car, which meant no sad Lana Willson.
“He’ll be here soon, though,” she said as she got off my bike. She looked at me, then at her feet. “Thanks,” she mumbled. I raised my eyebrow and looked at her. “I don’t really know why, but thank you for…I don’t…crap, I don’t know, Blake, just thanks.” She walked to her house. I smiled as I thought of what other surprises Lana was capable of. I drove to my house, which was a single story that consisted of four bedrooms. I walked into the house where I saw my older brother.
“I’m home.”
“Dinner’s in the microwave,” Axel said as he flicked through the channels on the television.