When Thea looked back at Wakefield, she found him staring straight at her.
Her stomach twisting, she crossed the road.
“Hello,” she said.
Wakefield looked pained. “Hello.”
“I know you do not want me walking around by myself...”
She trailed off, allowing him to cut in if he wanted to, but he only hung his head and said nothing.
“Do you not?” she asked.
“It worries me.” Wakefield looked up. “But, I’m even more worried about you leaving.”
Thea smiled softly. “You know there are bigger issues I would leave over.” Wakefield’s chest rose with a deep inhale.
“Wakefield,” she whispered, “thank you for telling me what you did.”
His features softened. “It was a long time coming.”
“And I know that it was difficult.”
Wakefield’s gaze raked over her, and the same delicious feeling Thea had the first time he ever looked at her returned. Yes, no matter what happened, the softest spot in her heart would always belong to him. If she had learned anything since coming to Wyoming Territory, it was that.
“Please come home for supper tonight,” she said.
Wakefield nodded. “I will. I’ll be there soon as I can.”
“Good.”
Thea turned to go. After a few steps, Wakefield called her name.
“Yes?” she asked, looking over her shoulder.
He licked his lips, hesitating. “Be careful walking back home.”
“You know I will.”
She continued to watch him, feeling he wanted to say more. When he didn’t, though, she turned back around and continued walking for home. Wakefield might have taken the first step toward being honest, and she might have taken the first step toward being more open, but they both still had a long way to go.
Chapter 34
rifle in hand
34. Wakefield
Chapter thirty-four
The cabin smelled delicious. Taking off his hat, Wakefield stepped inside. Thea was finishing setting the table, and she looked up as he entered.
She’d changed out of her work dress and into that nicer blue one he’d only seen her wear a couple times. Her hair looked different, too. She’d braided in it some kind of new way.
And her face shone. Or maybe that was the candlelight on her cheeks and in her eyes.
Wakefield’s attention fell to the supper table. In the middle, a beautiful cake covered with strawberries waited.
“What’s this?” he asked.
“I wanted to have a special supper.”
Wakefield’s heart about melted. He didn’t deserve this. Hanging up his hat, he went to Thea but stopped a couple feet away. It seemed so long since he’d held her in his arms. Lately, he’d been plagued by worries of it never happening again.
“I wanted to thank you once more for being honest,” Thea said, her face solemn.
“Thea, you don’t—”
“Please. Listen.” She rested her hand on his chest, and sweet tendrils of fire went through him. “You want me to stay, yes?”
A lump of emotion formed in his throat. “More than anything.”
“And what about the baby?”
Her eyes searched his.
“I want the baby,” he said, “but I’m… I don’t know how to say this, Thea. I’m...”
“Afraid.”
Their gazes connected, something deeper forming there. “Yes.”
“It’s all right to be afraid, Wakefield.”
He inhaled hot and heavy. An urge to leave the cabin overcame him, but he ignored it. Time to be the man he knew he could be and face all of this.
“I know people get afraid,” he said, “but that doesn’t change what’s going on with me. What if we lose the baby? What if I… lose you?”
Saying his deepest fears in such a direct way felt like coughing up hot embers. They scalded his insides on their journey up, and once they were out, he half regretted letting them loose. As if saying his greatest fears out loud would make them come true.
“I understand completely why you would be afraid of those things,” she answered, “but we cannot let our fears rule us.”
Wakefield shook his head. She didn’t seem to understand what he was getting at. “Our fears warn us. You ever think about that?”
Thea winced at his sharp tone.
“I’m sorry,” he said, taking her wrist in his hand. “Please. I didn’t mean it that way.”
Thea looked down at where their hands connected. “I have missed being close to you.”
“I’ve missed it, too,” he half groaned.
“As far as your fears warning you...”
Wakefield tensed up, really wishing they could be done with the conversation.
“Some things are inevitable,” Thea said. “Why fear them when you can embrace them?”
Wakefield nodded, but he felt nothing had changed inside of him. That ball of terror still lived deep in his gut. Some days it was less noticeable than others. Some days, it commanded almost all of his attention.
But maybe that was just the way life was, and he would have to learn to deal with it. Acclimate or die.
Except in this case, he wouldn’t get to actually die from the agony. He’d have to continue to live in pain for the rest of his days.
“Let’s have supper,” Thea said, finally changing the subject.
He grudgingly let go of her hand, and they took their seats.
“Lord,” Wakefield prayed, “Thank you for this meal and for all your blessings.”
And please help us here, he added. I’m real afraid, and I don’t know what to do about it. Bring us whatever it is we need.
Unfolding his hands, he looked over at Thea, who was already busy piling his plate with food.
“Where did you get strawberries?” he asked.
“Jenny’s garden.” She paused. “And I got the powdered sugar at the general store.”
Thea was still looking at him, and Wakefield got the sense she was hinting at something. For the life of him, though, he couldn’t figure out what it might be.
“What were you and Mr. Vang talking about today?” she asked. “Right before I saw you in town.”
“Vang? Not much. Just shooting the breeze.”
“Oh.”
Something wasn’t right about the way she said that.
“Oh?” he asked.
“Wakefield, I get a funny feeling around that man.”
“Ah.” He stretched his legs out under the table and nodded. “That’s what this is about. I had the same feeling about him when we first met, and Noah did as well. But I think he’s all right.”
“You think?” Thea’s nose wrinkled. “What do you know about him?”
Wakefield shrugged and took a bite of bread. “He’s a traveler.”
“You mean you know next to nothing.”
Wakefield’s stomach churned. Could they not go ten minutes without there being some kind of conflict between them?
“Things are different out West, Thea. People come here looking to start over. They don’t offer up a lot of information about themselves, and that’s acceptable.”
Wakefield didn’t miss the irony of his suddenly defending Ed Vang. Not too long ago, he’d been the last person to stand on that man’s side. He’d come to know him a bit better, though. Vang was a tad sketchy, but so was most everyone else Wakefield spent time with. Besides, people could change. No one knew that better than Wakefield did. Thea’s attention turned to her food, the air in the room having completely changed. Wakefield’s insides twisted even more, and each bite became harder to swallow.
“He wants to buy the saloon from you?”
Wakefield looked up in surprise. Had he mentioned that to her?
“I shelved that idea, Thea. Unless you want me to sell the saloon, so we can move away from here. In that case, we can talk about it. But, yes. Vang mentioned he’d like to get into the busin
ess. Though, I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”
“I don’t want to move away from here.” She paused. “Unless it comes to that.”
Wakefield’s insides shriveled up, and he looked down at his plate. All the promises he wanted to give Thea, and none he really could.
The most he could do was change, show her as time went by that he was trying.
He forced down the rest of his meal and smiled at Thea as she served him the cake. The mood had shifted once more, though, and his optimism had lessened. He needed to take a breather and clear his head.
“I’m going out for a walk,” he announced, once supper was over.
Thea was standing and stacking their plates. “Oh.”
“I’ll be back soon.”
She was clearly disappointed, and maybe inviting her along would have made her happy, but Wakefield needed just a little bit more of the day to himself.
“I mean it,” he said, staring into her eyes. “I won’t be gone long. When I get back, let’s...”
Hold each other and forget about all our problems.
It was a silly wish, so Wakefield ended up not finishing the sentence at all, but going outside instead without another word.
It was the height of summer, with night still a good hour away. The shadows stretched long and thin across the road as Wakefield made his way to the clearing next to the general store.
He figured some time spent in prayer might set his head straight. Since there was no church building, the clearing where Sunday services happened was the next best thing.
Taking a seat on one of the stumps at the front of the clearing, Wakefield laced his hands and gazed up at the sky.
“Nice night.”
Wakefield turned at the voice and found Vang walking up to him.
“It is,” Wakefield agreed, trying to figure out the best way to tell Vang he needed some time alone.
Vang went to the log across from Wakefield’s and rested his boot on the top of it. “How’s the missus?”
“She’s... well.”
Vang chuckled. “There’s some hesitation there.”
Wakefield checked a sigh. Not only did he want time alone, but it didn’t help that he and Thea had butted heads over Vang and now here he suddenly was.
“Something’s not right,” Vang said. “You look like you need a drink.”
“No,” Wakefield answered sharply. “I learned my lesson there.”
Vang squinted his eyes. “One drink is bad?”
“It never stops at one drink.”
“Aw, come now. You have more willpower than you think.”
Irritation filled Wakefield. Why was Vang trying to get him to hit the bottle? Surely, he wasn’t so daft that he couldn’t understand what Wakefield just told him?
“Look, Vang, I appreciate you coming over to say hello, but I need some time alone. That’s kind of why I came down here.”
Vang’s shoulders drew back, and he straightened up. “Right then. I hear you. I only thought you’d like a friend’s listening ear.”
Vang’s tone made Wakefield bristle. He didn’t need to get into another argument.
“All I’m saying,” Vang went on, “is things don’t look to be going that well for you. So come on up and have a drink.”
Wakefield’s face burned. “And I thank you for the offer, but not tonight. Not ever. I ain’t drinking anymore.”
Vang guffawed. “Is that so?”
Before Wakefield knew it, he was standing. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Vang’s chest puffed up, though his voice was soft. “Nothing. Forget it. I see how you get worked up and all, and a drink helps a man with that.”
Wakefield surveyed Vang in the dying light. Why was he pushing for Wakefield to come and have a drink? He’d heard what Wakefield said about not being able to stop at one. Was he trying to get him drunk out of his mind?
And for what reason?
“You want to talk about the saloon, huh?” Wakefield asked.
“Is that what you want to talk about?”
“I appreciate the offer, but I’m not selling it. My wife wants to stay here.”
Vang laughed. “No woman wants to be here. Shoot, it’s hard enough for a man to live up in these mountains without losing his dang mind.”
“She likes it fine,” Wakefield said through clenched teeth.
Could Vang take nothing seriously? Or was everything a joke to him, every problem of Wakefield’s something to be laughed at?
Thea had been right, and so had Noah on that first day. Ed Vang wasn’t the kind of man to be trusted. No one who so easily made light of others’ pain was.
“I’d like you to go now,” Wakefield said.
Vang didn’t move a muscle. “Is that what this is? I try to cheer you up, and you’re turning me away?”
“I need some time alone,” Wakefield answered, working real hard to not lose control and shout.
“Fine then. We’re not done though, Briggs. Trust me. Turn that saloon over, and your life will get easier. Think of what you can do with the money.”
“I don’t need the money!”
Wakefield hadn’t meant to shout, but he didn’t care enough to apologize. His fingers curled into his palms, and he was ready to punch Vang. There was a ball of fury swirling inside of him, begging to be released.
“You best watch your tone,” Vang snapped back. “You don’t know who you’re talking to.”
“No,” Wakefield answered. “I don't, do I? Come to think of it, I don’t know much about you at all, Ed Vang. What are you really about? Why are you here?”
“That’s none of your business.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Wakefield saw Ed’s hand inch closer to his holster. Wakefield’s stomach did a somersault, and he went for his own gun.
A bang filled the clearing, and Wakefield drew his gun. Vang was already on the ground, though, clutching his leg.
Jumping forward, Wakefield grabbed Vang’s gun from his holder and jumped back.
“You shot me!” Vang shouted.
“I didn’t,” Wakefield muttered, spinning around, both guns pointed, looking for whoever had done the deed.
“I did,” Thea said, stepping out from behind a tree with Wakefield’s rifle in hand.
Chapter 35
come back soon
35. Thea
Chapter thirty-five
Thea’s hands shook, but she used every ounce of strength she had to hold onto the rifle. She refused to show either man her fear. Lowering it slowly, she looked at Mr. Vang. Though Wakefield held both their guns, she didn’t trust the man on the ground to not try something.
“Thea,” Wakefield said, sounding dazed.
“She dang shot me,” Mr. Vang cried. He pulled himself up to a sitting position, his hand still clutching his leg.
“What are you doing here?” Wakefield asked.
“I came down to talk to you and...” She hesitated. “Perhaps we should talk about this later. Mr. Vang needs our attention.”
“You’re right I do,” Mr. Vang groaned. “You can’t just go and shoot a man, you--”
“I can if he is threatening my husband,” Thea interrupted.
“I wasn’t threatening him.”
“Wrong, Mr. Vang. I heard and saw everything, including you reaching for your holster.”
Wakefield was staring at Thea with an impressed look. “Where’d you learn to shoot like that?”
“South Carolina.”
Really, the shot had been a lucky one. She’d aimed for Mr. Vang’s hand, not knowing whether she’d make it or not. But the leg was just as good. All she’d wanted was to disarm him without doing any really damage and, thankfully, she’d accomplished that.
“What now?” Thea asked, stepping closer to them.
Her Silent Burden (Seeing Ranch series) (A Western Historical Romance Book) Page 21