by Jen Andrews
I knew that, but I wanted to be done with it, so I continued. “Not having grown up with a male role model and with my birth mom being the way she was with men, I thought that’s how I was supposed to act with boys…so I sort of acted out a bit…um, sexually.”
He studied me, and I could see the distress in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Zoey,” he said. “I had no idea.”
I knew he would have questions, so I told him my story. “I lost my virginity two months after I started high school. I was at a party where I wasn’t supposed to be. It was a dumb thing to do.”
His fingers tightened around mine, comforting me. I took a breath and continued. “To make a long story short, I was sad, angry, and rebellious for the next two years, so I slept with a few more guys…I let them use me, because I really didn’t care about myself. Somehow, my mom found out, and she stuck me in therapy.”
Letting out a long sigh, he shut the photo album and set it on the bed.
“Have I told you too much, too soon?” I asked. “I don’t want to scare you away.”
He shook his head. “No, I told you I’m not going anywhere. I had no idea you’d been through so much. I didn’t think about how you grew up, and how it would affect you later on in life.” He sat for a minute, staring at me. I could tell he was uneasy with the information I had disclosed.
Regardless, I needed to finish the story, so I started talking again. “I went to therapy and stopped acting out like that. I didn’t need to do it, because I learned it wasn’t how ‘normal’ people were supposed to act and treat each other. I met Rob my senior year, went to college, got married, things happened, and we divorced.”
After taking a breath, I continued. “I actually dated someone for a few months after we separated, but it obviously didn’t work out. I always had a suspicion Rob somehow ran him off, but I didn’t try to find out.”
I stopped talking, so Andy would have time to absorb everything I told him. We sat in silence for an eternity. “Andy, say something,” I begged and scooted closer to him.
“I feel like an asshole,” he finally said.
Huh? “Why would you say that?” I asked, confused.
“Because, Zoey, prior to the accident, I lived an extremely charmed life. I always had everything I ever wanted. I feel now, like I took it for granted. My issues were nothing compared to what you’ve gone through. I was one of those guys in school who had sex with girls because I could. I never thought about how they felt or how I treated them.”
I was surprised at what he was saying. He didn’t seem like the type of person to do that. “Were you popular in school?” I asked.
He smirked guiltily. “Yeah, you could say so.” He looked at me with shame in his eyes. “I was the star rugby player, rich kid, had girls all over me all the time, and took what I wanted from them and let them go.”
“Well,” I retorted, “aren’t we a pair?” I stole his line from the first time we ate dinner together the day we met.
He frowned. “After the accident, I didn’t go back to school. I quit playing rugby, got into some trouble, and then we moved to the US. I started all over here, and I quit being a dick to girls.”
He had a tough time after his family died, and I felt bad for him. At least nobody died on me. They just ditched me.
“Now you’re not a dick,” I stated to reassure him. “You’re a good man, Andy.”
He leaned over and kissed me on the side of the head. “Thank you, Zoey. That means a lot coming from you.”
It had been a long day. I was exhausted, and he looked like he was too. “I think we should get some sleep. I’m tired, and you look like you could use some sleep too.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Where am I sleeping?”
“With me, of course,” I said, patting my bed. “But, no funny business, okay?”
“Are you sure I should be staying in here with you? Are your parents alright with it?”
“I don’t want you to stay anywhere else. They’re as happy to have you here as I am.”
He smiled, and we both got ready for bed. He came back from the bathroom wearing a pair of black flannel pajama shorts and slipped into bed next to me. We each turned off our lamps.
“Goodnight, Sexy,” I mumbled as he nestled up behind me and slid his arm around me.
He chuckled and kissed my bare shoulder. “Goodnight, Beautiful.”
The day after Christmas, I took Andy home and then went back to my mom and dad’s. I wanted him to stay a while longer, but I knew I needed to take my time and ease in to a relationship with him. I didn’t want too much, too soon. He agreed it was a good idea.
Originally, I planned to stay with my parents until after New Year’s, and I was doing fairly well since starting therapy with Dr. Jensen. It was nice to talk to someone who was unbiased and truly wanted to help me without his or her own agenda. After sitting down and talking to Andy, I hoped everything would start falling into place for us.
On New Year’s Eve, Will called to remind me that he and Justin were throwing their annual New Year’s party at their place and that my attendance was required. It sounded like fun, and I would get to visit all of my old friends that I’d lost contact with.
Deciding to go to the party, I packed my bags to return home for good on New Year’s Eve. I wanted to start the new year off right. I was looking forward to starting a new year and a new lease on life. I needed it, and I wanted it. I was trying hard to stay optimistic, but I’d been feeling a little bit down that day, so I thought the party would help cheer me up.
When I turned the corner next to my apartment, I was glad I had private parking over at the shop parking lot. The entire street was lined with cars. It looked like they were having a big party this year. Normally, the party wasn’t quite so large.
Anxious to see Andy, I didn’t feel like packing my bags back to my apartment right then, so I took only my purse, leaving everything else in my trunk. I let myself into the lobby and began walking up the stairs.
People were milling around the lobby and stairs, drinking and having a good time. The boys had set out several extra chairs in the lobby, so people wouldn’t be so cramped inside their apartment. I heard the music playing through the open door upstairs.
At the first landing, I made a left to the second smaller set of stairs that led to the landing in front of our doors. Andy was leaning against the wall outside my door, a beer in his hand, and talking to two girls. I was unable to hear what the girls were saying, but they seemed very intrigued with what he was saying.
A little pang of jealousy went through me, so I stopped on the stairs and watched them for a minute. Part of my therapy was learning how I shouldn’t jump to conclusions, so the situation was a great test for me.
Andy’s body language told me he was not being flirty at all, which eased my mind. He was talking loud enough, so I caught a few words he was saying. He was talking about New Zealand.
As I started up the steps again, Andy stopped talking mid-sentence and glanced in my direction. It was almost as if he knew I was there. He excused himself from the girls, and in two long strides, was standing in front of me.
“Zoey!” He enveloped me in his arms and picked me up in a bear hug. I flung my arms around him, and he stood holding me in the air, my feet dangling off the ground. He tipped his head back and kissed me in front of everyone. I’d say he was happy to see me.
He set me back down after another quick peck on the lips. “Are you here for the party?”
I shook my head and smiled.
“Are you home to stay, then?”
“Yes.”
He looked around behind me. “Where’s your luggage?”
I found my apartment keys, took his hand in mine, and went to my door. “It’s in my car. I’ll get it tomorrow. I wanted to see you first.”
I unlocked my door, pulled him inside, and shut it in the faces of the two girls he’d been talking to when I arrived.
We went to the kitchen where I poured myself
a glass of Moscato and hopped onto the countertop to sit. “Were you having a good time at the party? We can go back out there if you want to.” I took a sip of my wine and waited for his answer.
“It was okay, until you showed up.” He set his beer down and stepped forward, so that he was standing between my knees. “Now it’s perfect.”
I pulled him even closer. “I’m glad to hear you say that. I was kinda worried when I came up the stairs and found you with not one, but two girls hanging on your every word.”
He narrowed his blue eyes at me, but when I smiled at him, he realized I was messing with him. “Did you get jealous?”
I shrugged and turned away from him. “Maybe a little at first.”
Andy gently pulled my chin back so I had to look at him. He smiled and placed his palms on the countertop on either side of me. “Just so you know, when those girls started talking to me, I was heading over here where it’s quieter, to call you.”
He moved even closer and slid his hands up my arms, across my shoulders, up the sides of my neck, and into my hair. He left my skin warm and tingling in all the places he touched. His eyes burned into mine, as he slowly wet his gorgeous lips with his tongue.
“I was going to tell you how much I missed you,” he whispered and lightly touched my lips with his own.
Holy hell.
He closed his eyes as he tangled his fingers tighter in my hair and pressed his forehead to mine. “I was going to tell you how beautiful you are.”
He trailed kisses across my cheek. “I was going to tell you how much I need you.”
With his warm breath in my ear he whispered, “I was going to tell you how much I want you.”
He nipped my ear and began kissing his way back toward my lips. “I was going to tell you how smart, funny, amazing, and strong you are.”
By the time his lips met mine, I was completely out of my mind wanting him. I wanted to rip his clothes off right there in my kitchen.
He gripped my hips, slowly pulling me closer to him. I was now at the edge of the counter, so I swung my legs around his hips and locked my ankles together. I wrapped my arms around his neck, deepening our kiss. He moaned as he swept his warm, moist tongue into my mouth and brushed it against mine, repeatedly. His stubble was slightly prickly on my lips and face.
I had kissed him a few times before, but his facial hair was still a very new sensation for me. I’d only ever kissed men who shaved regularly. It was surprisingly erotic to me; somewhat ticklish, yet very masculine, and extremely sexy. It was not at all what I expected, but I loved it.
Releasing my arms from around his neck, I ran my hands down his chest. He loosened his grip from my hips as my hands traveled further down his abs and then up under his shirt to touch his hot skin. Holy fuck, I needed to stop this before it went too far. I ended the kiss, and a small moan emanated from my throat when our lips broke contact. I didn’t pull back all the way, but rested my forehead against his, trying to catch my breath, my hands still under his shirt, gripping his sides.
I stopped my hands there, because I knew if I let them wander around to his back where I really wanted them to go, it might get me in some trouble. I hadn’t forgotten his admission to me about his back being his erogenous zone.
He reached up, stroked my cheek with his fingertips, and brushed my hair behind my ear.
“You know, Sexy,” I whispered breathlessly, my forehead still resting against his. “You make it awfully difficult for a girl who is trying really, really hard to say yes more often, to tell herself no right now.”
He let out a deep chuckle. “Is that so?”
“Yes!”
He laughed and took a step away from me. I pushed myself backward onto the countertop and looked at him. “You need to take me to the party before I change my mind,” I joked.
He helped me down off the counter, took my hand in his, and led me next door to the party. Darn, I was hoping he would turn toward my bedroom instead of the front door. I needed to give myself a little shove in that direction when the time came. Wait, Zoey. It will be worth it.
We were obviously extremely attracted to each other, and after what happened in the kitchen, and everything he said to me, I was sure I wasn’t making a mistake wanting to be with him. I knew we would be good together.
When we arrived at the party, he made me feel like I was the only one in the room. He was attentive, affectionate, and he treated me like a queen. It was completely opposite of everything I had ever known in my previous relationships.
Rob and I went to parties while we were together, but as soon as we walked through the door, he ditched me for his friends and drinking games.
Andy introduced me to people he met at the party before I arrived. When he did, he introduced me as “my girl, Zoey,” and I loved it. I wanted to be his, and for him to be mine. Not in a possessive, creepy way, but I wanted it to be in a way where there were no questions about us being with each other, exclusively.
We took turns all night getting each other drinks. I introduced him to my friends, and he finally met Sasha. She was as mesmerized by him as I was. Andy went to get us another beer, leaving Sasha and me alone to talk.
“Zoey,” she said after Andy was out of earshot. “That man is so in love with you, it’s not even funny.”
Even though I was unsure if Sasha was right, I smiled. “Hopefully you’re right, because I feel the exact same way about him.”
We sat down on the couch, and Sasha struck up a conversation with the person on the other side of her. I people watched for a while and wondered where Andy had gotten off to, since he was only getting beer refills. I finally spotted him over by the doorway with an armload of beer bottles.
He seemed uninterested in the person who was talking to him. It was one of the girls from the landing.
Ugh. I hadn’t seen her in a few years, but it finally dawned on me who it was. She had dyed her naturally blonde hair a dark shade of brown, so I didn’t recognize her when she was talking to Andy outside my door. Her name was Nicole, and I hated her.
She’d been with Jeremy and most of his friends. I thought she’d been with Rob, too, but of course, I could never prove it. I needed to rescue Andy, before she tried to sink her claws into him the way she did with every other guy within reach.
Halfway to him, everyone started yelling the countdown for midnight and crowded in around me. Shit! I knew it was cheesy, but I wanted to kiss him at midnight to start our new year together off right. I pushed my way through the crowd, and as I did, I kept my eyes on Andy and Nicole. He turned around, his eyes searching for me.
The countdown was at five, so I pushed harder through the crowd. He saw me trying to get to him, and he began pushing through to get to me. Right as everyone yelled “Happy New Year,” we met in the crowd. He still had an armload of beer bottles, but my hands were free. I helped him set the beers down on the table, as everyone around us kissed whomever they were standing with at that moment.
“I thought you were going to get stuck kissing Nicole for a minute there, Sexy,” I teased.
Andy smirked and shook his head. “No way, I’m all yours. These lips won’t kiss anyone but you.” He gently cupped my face and bent down to kiss me. The second our lips met, everyone else in the room disappeared from my thoughts. He pulled back from our kiss and said, “Happy New Year, beautiful Zoey.”
“Happy New Year to you, too. Let’s get out of here so we can be alone. It’s been too long since I’ve seen you.” I pulled him down and kissed him again. We told our friends goodbye and went back over to my place.
“Stay here tonight?” I asked him as we walked through my door.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, let’s go watch a movie in my bedroom, since there’s still a party going on over there.” We picked a few comedies from my DVD collection and took them to my bedroom.
Realizing all my bathroom necessities were still in my car, I hunted through the cabinets and found my supply of new toothbru
shes. I had the habit of using a new one every month, so I bought them in bulk. Yet another thing that followed me from foster care, since I had been forced to share toothbrushes, too, on several occasions.
I brushed my teeth and got ready for bed. I wanted Andy to feel comfortable with me and be comfortable at my place, so I left a toothbrush out for him, too. When I went back into my bedroom, I found him still dressed, sitting on the edge of my bed.
“Hey, I left a toothbrush in there for you.”
He stood and walked over to me. “Thank you.” He kissed me on the cheek, went into the bathroom, and shut the door.
While he was getting ready for bed, I turned down the covers, stacked as many pillows as I could find against the headboard, and set up the movie to watch. The music was still thumping next door, and I knew we would be awake for a while. It was chilly, so I slipped into bed to wait for him.
When Andy came out, I was propped against the pillows watching the New Year’s party in New York. He was wearing only gray boxer briefs that left nothing to the imagination, and he looked sexy as hell in them.
“Jesus, are you trying to kill me?” I muttered under my breath as he walked past the foot of the bed.
He glanced over his tattooed shoulder at me as he stacked his folded clothes on top of my dresser. “Did you say something?”
I shook my head, embarrassed that he heard me.
The lights were still on in my bedroom, so I had a full view of his entire body. He was breathtaking with his naturally golden skin. He was muscular, athletic, long, and lean. Beautifully tattooed. Sinewy. Male. Sexy.
Good God, I wanted to kiss and lick every inch of him. Someday soon, I hoped I would. I learned many little tricks from the blowjob conversation I had with Justin, and I really wanted to try them out.
I watched him as he walked across the room to shut off the lights and as he made his way back to my bed.
He sat down on the bed with his feet still on the floor. “Zoey, are you still sure about this?” he asked.
“What do you mean?” I was a little confused about what he was asking.