“Things won’t ever be the same, mom.”
“I know, but you talking to us will be enough, for now.”
Sadness drains over her as she sips her coffee and I feel bad.
“I’ll do better,” I say, and I swear a tear springs to her eye instantly.
Her silence screams she needs a minute and I don’t know what else to say. I understand her falling in love, I understand wanting to make a family, I understand it all, none of this is her fault. Apart from she should have told me the truth before I stumbled across it myself.
The back door open and Nina sees me and comes over, not looking around her and I already know she hasn’t seen my mom.
“There you are, did you think you could sneak off while I slept after I had…”
“I was talking with my mom,” I cut in before she says anything my mom doesn’t need to hear.
Her head turns slowly until she spots my mom sitting across from me on the other side of the fire pit and she forces out a smile.
“Oh, good morning, Mrs McCarthy,” she smiles, pulling the bottom of my tee down to cover more of her thighs, not that it helps.
“Good morning, Nina,” mom smiles brightly and stands. “I’m going to wake your dad up, maybe once we’re home, you both will come for dinner. Just us, not the club?”
“Sounds good, mom.”
She disappears in the cabin and I pull Nina down onto my lap.
“Couldn’t you have gotten dressed before coming down?”
Her bare legs go on for miles and I don’t exactly want everyone to see her in this state.
“I could have, but I didn’t.”
“I don’t like you walking around half dressed.”
“It’s a good job it’s my body and I choose how I show it off then, isn’t it?”
She smells fresh when she leans in and presses her lips to mine. She’s being soft this morning and I like it.
“Note taken,” I say, and nuzzle into her neck.
She’s always warm under my touch and I can’t get enough of her. She’s addictive.
“Do you think Andrew will retaliate after yesterday?” she asks, glancing over to the ashes of his obsession in the fire pit.
“He’ll be stupid if he does.”
“That doesn’t answer my question, do you think he will?”
I swallow, staring at the ashes myself.
“I don’t think he will retaliate, but I do think he won’t stop, I don’t think he knows how to.”
“When will it end? He’s making me so tired.”
“It will end soon, one way or another,” I promise her.
I’m sure of it, because I’ll make sure it will. The back door opens, and Sparky sticks his head out.
“Meeting in five,” he yells at me and disappears back inside.
“What’s that about?” she asks, sitting up straighter.
“It’s nothing,” I say, sitting forward, urging her to stand.
I rise with her and her bare legs hit my eyes first. If there’s a meeting in five minutes, most of the brothers are up now.
“Let’s get you dressed before everyone sees you.”
We hold hands on the way up to the door and before I can pull it open, she places her hand on the frame and stops me.
“Do you really not like me walking around in a t-shirt that clearly covers everything I don’t want seen?”
“No, I don’t. But like you said, it’s your body and you’ll choose how you show it off.”
She releases her hold and opens the door. She has me feeling bad when she slips upstairs and returns a few minutes later, fully dressed and the t-shirt nowhere to be seen.
India gets to her first and the two of them with the baby go out and sit on the front porch.
Brothers fill the living room and I can’t help a secret smirk when I see Leo on the couch, sitting where I took Nina the night we stayed here. Fuck, that feels like so long ago now.
I hover by the dining table and ignore my dad when he pulls out a chair opposite me.
Cas slowly makes his way to the only chair in the middle of the room and once seated, he begins.
“I’m not going to beat around the bush, we’re running low on funds and we need to get back to earning. As you know, I’m sick and I have a stack of bills I don’t want cutting into my savings. If this disease takes me, I want to be able to leave my family some cash, so-” He has to stop when grunts and shit is flown around at him mentioning he might die. “-I’ve arranged for us to go on a run. Everyone will ride, apart from Ricky and the twins, they’ll stay with the prospects and Pope.”
“What about you, brother?” Sparks speaks up. “You’re not well enough for such a ride. You should stay behind too.”
Having lung cancer, he doesn’t have much breath, and after hearing Sparky advising him to stay home, his cheeks redden like he has no breath left in his body at all.
“I’m the president over this club, and until I’m in my fuckin’ grave, I’ll be the one who rides front and centre.”
No one mutters a word in argument with him, but you can sense they want to. My eyes flick to my dad and he’s lips are tightly pursed together, locking in what he wants to add.
“When is this run?” I ask, gaining everyone’s attention.
“Tomorrow, we leave at sun rise.”
“You’ve got this all figured out, yeah?” Sparky throws at him.
“You know I do, or I wouldn’t be informing you all.”
“As your VP, you should let me run this. If anything happens to you, we’re a long way from home, from hospitals. Have you told Lana about this run yet?”
Narrowing his eyes, Cas pulls himself up to his feet and moves in front of Sparky.
“We need cash and I’m making that happen, if you don’t like that, old friend, then don’t join us. You can stay home and worry about me like the old ladies.”
Harsh.
“Have you considered what might happen if we run into any Crows?”
“It would’ve been stupid for me not to, and it’s always the same answer, we’ll fuckin’ shoot them all.”
Cas has been the president over our club for many years, he wouldn’t be alive today if he wasn’t good at it. I trust his decisions and I know if he wasn’t feeling up to it, he wouldn’t lead us, he would put Sparky in his place.
“Meeting over, be here tomorrow morning or don’t come at all.”
They are his last words and he leaves the room, leaving Sparky to watch his back.
“You lot are a bunch of pussies. You all know he’s not well enough to ride, and you all said nothing.”
Everyone looks at Sparky but it’s Pope who speaks up.
“Cas is Cas, cancer isn’t going to change him. This is his club and he’s running things like he always has, what he needs is his brothers to have his back, like we always have.”
Not another word is said, and I stay behind until the room is empty. Leaving here so early means I’ll be spending another night here under my sister’s roof. Hopefully, Nina will join me and make it bearable.
Nina
The weather is changing, and the wooden step is cold on my butt as I sit on the cabin porch. The mornings are crisper, and my little jacket is not keeping out the chills. Crossing my arms over my chest, I kick the stone lying by my boot and ask Zachery, “How long will you be gone for?”
The club is getting ready to leave for something Zach won’t speak about and it’s bugging the crap out of me.
“A few days,” he shrugs.
Fucking shrugs.
I bite my tongue and don’t say a word.
“What do you do on these runs?”
“I earn my money,” he shrugs, patting his pockets down.
I pick at the strand that’s come loose on my sleeve and ask as nice as I can, “How?”
“That’s club business, babe.”
He doesn’t find what he’s trying to locate in his pockets and leans down to kiss me. I move away just before
he makes contact and I don’t make eye contact with him either.
“What does that mean?”
“It means I can’t tell you.”
Wow, he didn’t even hesitate to be truthful and it stings. I pull out the loose strand on my sleeve and jump up to my feet.
“The sooner you go, the sooner you’ll be back.” I lean up and press my lips to his and then walk away.
“Hey, don’t be like that,” he calls after me but I don’t stop heading for my car.
I’m so glad I drove myself here now. If I had to rely on someone to get me home, I’d scream.
“Be like what? You’ve told me you’re going out of town for a few days and you can’t tell me why, so I’m going home.”
His hand wraps around my arm and he stops me, pulling me against him.
“Let me go, Zach.”
“Don’t do this, I haven’t got the time to sort it out before I leave.”
“I’m not doing anything.”
His dad calls him over and I know everyone’s waiting on him. This is so embarrassing.
“Come and see me when you get back,” I say, pulling away from him. He reluctantly lets go of me and walks with me the rest of the way to my car and opens my door for me.
“What are you going to do while I’m gone?”
“Sorry, that’s my business.”
I shut the door on his groans and enjoy the slight satisfaction he’s feeling his own bullshit secrecy.
My phone rings twice before I make it home and a text comes through when I don’t answer.
“I’m going to miss you.”
Going to miss, I already miss him. This sucks.
Waking up without Zach here is weird to me now. It’s amazing how fast things have turned around and how used to him being in my bed I’ve become.
He said he was going to be a few days, I can’t sit around here with nothing to do and wonder what he’s up to or where he is.
Kicking the sheets off, I grab a pair of clean jeans and a top and head for the shower.
It’s not long before I have an overnight bag packed and I’m throwing it on the passenger seat and backing out off the drive.
I crank the music up and settle in for the ass numbing long drive. No one is driving behind me, and I keep one eye on the rear-view mirror to keep check. If Zach and the twins, and then Slade and Ricky showed up making threats and punching me, I’d do whatever they wanted.
Song after song plays and when I’m bored, I switch to listening to the radio. The hours are passing, and while some pass rapidly, most pass painfully slowly.
When my phone rings, I’m excited to pull over and speak to another human. I know it’s going to be Zachery, I have no one else who would call.
A semi-truck speeds past, honking its horn and it’s the first thing I hear down the line from him.
“Why can I hear a truck your end?”
“Oh, I’m about six hours out from Salt Bay.”
“You’re what?”
I imagine his eyebrows hitting his hairline and his jaw doing that twitching thing he does sometimes when he’s frustrated.
“I don’t think I heard you correctly, did you say you left town?”
“Yes, I’m going to pack up the rest of my things and turn over the keys back to the landlord.”
“Why didn’t you wait for me? I would’ve come with you and helped with your shit.”
“I don’t need your help, I’ll be fine.”
“Okay, I don’t like the thought of you so far from town on your own.”
“What difference does it make? I was alone in Willows Peak.”
I am so confused. I can handle my own affairs, he should know this about me.
“If you got into trouble and called me, I could’ve had someone come over and help you.”
“What trouble do you expect me to get into out here?”
“Oh, I don’t know, the first time I met you, you were pressing a shovel into some guy’s groin. You had a stalker who photoshopped the shit out of you. Are they not enough of a reason to stay in town?”
“Neither of them was my fault,” I argue.
“I’ve already been anxious leaving you there with him in the same town, now I’m freaking.”
“Calm down, there’s no need to freak out. I’m going there, packing up, and coming back. I should get back about the same time as you, it will work out for the both of us.”
“Are you doing this because I wouldn’t tell you where I was going?” His voice is hushed, and I wonder who is around who could hear.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard.”
“Okay, now you listen to me real good. I don’t have to stay put when you leave town like a good little dog, and I’m not petty. I’m not even going to explain myself to you.”
I hang up on him and throw the phone on the passenger seat. Who the hell does he think he’s talking to? Getting angry with me because I’m sorting my own shit out, he’s the fucking crazy one.
The damn phone rings again and his name and picture fills the screen. Snatching it up, I hit answer and put him on speaker so I can rest the phone on the dash.
“That was pretty petty hanging up on me, babe.”
“It’s petty you telling me to stay home like a good little girlfriend.”
“I’m sorry, okay. I’ve learned my lesson and I’ll never ever tell you what to do again.”
Huh. A genuine apology. I’m stunned he’s giving me one, but I’ll take it without going on about it.
“Besides, by the time you get home, I’ll have no other ties but to Willows Peak. I thought you’d be happy about that?”
“I will be, I mean, I am,” he rambles on. “I just need you to be careful, I’m too far to help if you get into trouble.”
Resting my head on the headrest, I close my eyes and smile.
“If you think about it, all the trouble I’ve been in, I’ve got myself out of, not you. You’ve never been around for the showdowns. I’ll be fine, Zach, I promise you.”
“I’ll hold you personally responsible then if anything does happen.”
He’s sulking but trying his hardest to hide it from me, it only makes me smile more.
“I should go, I want to be in Salt Bay before morning. I called ahead and arranged to meet the landlord at eleven and I want to be ready to leave shortly after.”
“Call me when you get there, so I know you arrived safe.”
“Will do.”
The line goes dead, and I yearn for the calls where he tells me he loves me before hanging up.
Zachery
I hand over the cash and take the eighth of weed from the corner dealer and head back across the street to our motel.
Cas wanted to continue riding through the night but was outnumbered by us all. He was trying to prove a point and it didn’t work. Most of the brothers have been to buy beers from the convenience store next to the motel and someone has cranked up the music. I find a quiet spot at the back of the group congregating around the front parking lot and roll up a smoke.
I’m going to have to smoke so much tonight knowing Nina is all on her own and away from town. I called a prospect after I finished my call with Nina and he’s going to make sure Andrew is still in town. I’ll be a lot fucking happier when I’m told he is.
“Who were you yelling at?”
Dad sides up to me and I sigh. I could roll my joints in my sleep and I have one wrapped up in no time before I speak to him.
“I wasn’t yelling,” I tell him.
“Well, you didn’t you sound happy. You can talk to me instead of smoking that shit.”
“I’d rather smoke,” I grunt, putting the blunt to my lips.
I light up and enjoy the first rush it brings me.
“I thought we were getting past this animosity?”
I’m trying, I really am, so I say, “I was on the phone with Nina, she’s gone to pack up her old place. On her own.”
“And you’re afraid that piece
of shit might have followed her?”
“I’ve got a prospect going to check he’s still in town.”
He better be, if he isn’t I won’t be able to stop myself, I’ll ride to Salt Bay myself and check on her.
“It’ll all work out, you’ll see.”
His words hit me harder than the weed and my jaw tenses as I fight myself to keep my mouth shut.
I’ve heard him say that before.
PAST
“Brother, what have you done to piss your dad off? He’s smashing the place up in there,” JJ asks, finding me around the side of the clubhouse.
“None of your business.”
“Jeez, what’s your problem, Zach?”
“I don’t have a problem, apart from you bugging the shit out of me. Haven’t you got somewhere else to be, or some girl to fuck?”
“Not if you need me, nope. I’ve got all the time for you, sweetheart,” he says, grinning his ass off and passing me a smoke.
I don’t usually smoke normal cigarettes, but I take his offering and light up, inhaling deeply until the nicotine and poisons burn my lungs.
“I don’t need you hovering around me,” I tell him and instead of leaving he sits beside me and kicks up his feet.
“I don’t hover,” he grunts. “What’s going on around here? Something is kicking off with you and your dad and no one is saying a word about it. I asked my dad, and he told me to mind my own business.”
I chuckle but I don’t find him funny. Sparky has always been up front with JJ, I used to be envious of them both. Whatever JJ wanted to know, he was told by his dad. My dad told me fuck all.
“His advice is sound, you should listen to him.”
“Like you’ve been listening to your old man? Seriously, Zach. What’s going on with you?”
His questioning is tiring and he’s grating on my last nerve.
“Nothing’s going on, please, fuck off.”
As soon as he leaves, I flick the half-smoked cigarette across the grass and pull out one of my already-rolled blunts. I need to take the edge off life and normal cigarettes won’t ever cut it.
“I can smell him smoking, he’s not far.”
I hear him muttering before he storms around the corner. I walked out of the bar so we didn’t have to continue this fight, obviously he isn’t finished.
His Ride or Die : Sons of Lost Souls MC Book Three Page 18