by Holly Rayner
On Sunday night I lie awake for hours, unable to stop my mind from racing. I’m actually counting down the hours before I have to present myself at the von Meyer house tomorrow. I received a text from Anne letting me know that I should come over at nine a.m. instead of waiting until afternoon the way I usually do. I’ve read that text dozens of times, trying to pull out a hint about what I should anticipate, but there’s nothing there.
At some point I must drift off to sleep, because I’m woken by sunlight slanting through my window onto my face. It’s hours too early for Karl to here to pick me up, so I while away the morning adding things to my suitcase that I probably won’t need. A novel, a hoodie, a package of the fruit candies I use in tutoring lessons. By the time eight thirty rolls around, I’m outside in front of the hotel, sitting on the low stone wall that rings the property, waiting anxiously for Karl.
He arrives right on time, just as he always does.
“Excited for the big trip, ma’am?” he asks as we pull out of the hotel driveway and onto the main road.
“Very,” I say. “You wouldn’t be able to tell me where we’re going, would you?”
He chuckles. “Not me. That’s a secret. I don’t mind telling you little Lara is very excited, though.”
I smile at the thought. “Good,” I say. Whatever else might be going on between me and Tomas, I do want Lara to have a great experience.
They’re waiting outside when we pull up in front of the house—Tomas, Lara, and, to my surprise, Anne. I hadn’t realized she’d be coming with us. I start to get out of the car, but Tomas shakes his head.
“Stay there,” he says and holds the door open for Lara, who gets in beside me. Tomas takes the far seat, and Anne climbs into the front passenger seat.
Soon, we’re moving again. Lara chatters in German throughout the car ride, and I know I should be telling her to speak English, but my thoughts are a whirlwind. I decide to let it go for now. When we arrive at our destination, I’ll start enforcing the English rule, but for now I want to drift on my own imagination. Where could we be going? It can’t be too far, I reason, or we wouldn’t be driving, would we?
Then Karl makes a turn and passes through a large chain-link gate that stands ajar, and we emerge onto a huge cement surface that looks like God’s parking lot.
No, I realize suddenly. It’s not a parking lot at all. It’s an airfield.
I didn’t recognize what it was at first because it’s smaller than the airfields I’ve seen before. It’s far too small to play host to the kind of international jet plane I took to reach Luxembourg in the first place. And there’s no giant airport. In fact, we seem to be in the middle of nowhere.
Is this our destination?
Karl stops the car, and Tomas and Lara climb out. I follow suit.
“What are we doing here?” I ask.
Lara points, a grin splitting her face.
I turn. Behind me, a small private plane is coasting to a stop.
“Daddy’s plane!” Lara declares, bouncing up and down on her toes.
I look at Tomas.
He grins, clearly pleased with himself. “You don’t mind flying, do you?”
“No, I don’t mind.”
“Good.”
“But will you please tell me where we’re going now?”
“You don’t want to be surprised?”
“I’m already surprised!” I gesture at the plane. “Everything about this plan has been surprising to me. At this point you could just about knock me over with a feather.”
“What does that mean?” Lara asks her father.
“It means she’s excited for our trip,” Tomas says.
“Oh!” Lara says. “You could knock me over with a feather too!” She grabs her suitcase and runs across the tarmac to the plane, which has lowered a set of stairs to let us on.
“So?” I say. “Where are we going?”
“All right,” Tomas says. “We’re going to London.”
I gasp. “Really?”
“Is that okay?”
“Is it okay? It’s amazing! I’ve always wanted to go to London! I’ve been dreaming of it since I was a teenager!”
I’m flooded with a sudden, wholly inappropriate desire to kiss him. I settle for a quick hug, which feels risky enough in and of itself.
“This is amazing, Tomas. Thank you.”
He grins, clearly pleased with himself. “Come on,” he says. “Let’s get on the plane, before Lara tells the pilot to leave without us.”
“Is it your own plane?” I ask him.
He nods. “I bought it the year after Lara was born. I knew I wanted her to have lots of opportunities to travel, and I knew that it would be easier to bring a small child on a private plane than to worry about flying commercial and dealing with other passengers. On my plane, she can be as noisy as she wants to without having to worry about anyone complaining.”
“I can’t imagine Lara being any kind of disturbance,” I say, laughing. “I doubt anyone’s ever complained about her in her life.”
Tomas laughs too. “I think you’re right,” he says. “I got lucky, didn’t I?”
I climb the steps onto the plane and gasp as I see the interior for the first time. The furniture is upholstered in cream and is incredibly upscale—armchairs and even a long, deep sofa instead of the usual cramped airplane seats on commercial planes. The floor is carpeted in black. There are no overhead compartments—as I step into the cabin, Anne relieves me of my overnight bag and stows it in a closet at the front of the plane.
“Take any seat,” she says.
I look around. Tomas has settled into one of the armchairs positioned at a small table, and Lara is on the couch, bouncing up and down with excitement. Surrounded by the luxury of the plane, seeing how comfortable Tomas looks in this setting, I can’t help but think about how different his lifestyle is from what I’m used to.
“Anne?” I say quietly, tilting my head so Tomas won’t hear me.
“What is it?” Her response is as quiet as my initial inquiry, which I appreciate.
“I just wondered…” How to pose this question without coming across as desperate and needy. “Well…does Tomas use this plane very often?”
“Oh, yes,” she says. “Many times every year.”
“With Lara?”
“Yes, the little girl loves to travel.”
“Does he ever use the plane without her?”
“Of course,” Anne says, tilting her head at me quizzically. “When he travels for business, he leaves Lara home with me.”
“And…” there’s nothing for it but to just say it. “Does he ever bring anyone else? Any other women? Besides you, that is?”
“Ah,” Anne says knowingly, her gaze shrewd.
I want to sink into the floor and die. She’s got me all figured out now. I wonder how many women have asked her this kind of question. Am I special? Does he treat me differently? Or is something he does with everybody?
I’m about to tell her never mind, that I don’t want to hear the answer to the question after all, but she’s already speaking.
“No,” she says. “You’re the first person to fly on the plane besides myself, Lara, and Karl. And the pilot, of course.”
My heart soars. I can’t help it. He could just be bringing me along because I’m a member of his staff, just like Anne. I’ve been hired to tutor his daughter. It might not be anything more than that.
But then again, it might.
It might be the case that he really does care about me. That he really thinks I’m special. He did say we had chemistry…
And just like that, all the feelings I’ve been telling myself not to have, come rushing back.
The flight to London is short—just a hair over an hour. As much as I’m enjoying the luxury of Tomas’s private plane, it’s a relief to disembark. Karl and Anne have been sitting in the front of the cabin and Lara has passed the time watching a cartoon on her tablet, leaving me with nothing to do except talk
to Tomas.
I want to talk to Tomas. I want to take advantage of this chance to get to know him better. I also want to explore the dynamic between the two of us, to see if things are flirty or if we’re still keeping it professional.
I want to, but I’m afraid.
Besides, what could I really hope to discover? Tomas has always been flirtatious with me. I’m terrible at reading his intentions. In the end, I pulled my novel out of my purse and spent the trip pretending to read, hoping he would interrupt me and pull me into a discussion while at the same time hoping to be left alone.
There’s a car waiting for us at the London airfield. I suppose Tomas owns this too, because Karl gets behind the wheel as if he’s done it a hundred times before. We all pile in and ride to the hotel to drop off our things before setting out to explore the city.
“Where to first?” Tomas asks.
“The London Eye. It’s what everyone should do first.”
“You’ve really thought about this,” he says, and I think I detect a hint of admiration in his voice.
“I’ve always wanted to travel,” I say. “I couldn’t actually go, so I planned the trips in my mind.”
We ride to the giant Ferris wheel. Tomas buys tickets and we all board and begin our ascent. Lara presses her nose to the glass.
“You can see everything!” she cries.
“This used to be the tallest Ferris wheel in the world,” I say, and Lara nods to show her understanding. “It’s still pretty new,” I add. “It’s older than you are, but younger than me.”
“Look!” Lara points out the window.
I follow her finger. “That’s Westminster Abbey,” I say. “Say it back to me.”
“Westminster Abbey,” she parrots.
“That’s right. It’s a church. That’s where they crowned the Queen.”
She presses her hands to the glass, staring at the Abbey in awe. “Can we go?”
“We’ll go there later,” Tomas agrees. He looks over at me. “You really know a lot about London, don’t you?”
“I told you, I’ve been daydreaming about it.”
“Okay, but that doesn’t really account for your knowledge,” he says. “How can you be so confident about a place you’ve never visited before?”
That surprises me.
“I might not have visited,” I say, “but I’ve seen photos of it. And you know what they say—a picture’s worth a thousand words.” I gaze out the window at the Abbey off in the distance. “I feel like I know this view well, like I’ve seen it hundreds of times.”
There’s a clicking sound from behind me and I whirl around. Tomas is holding up his camera and grinning.
“Did you just take my picture?” I ask.
“Guilty,” he admits.
“Why?”
“Because you’re right,” he says. “Because a picture can make you feel like you know something well. Or somebody.”
My heart skips a beat. “That’s…forward of you.” I should be objecting. I work for this man. We’re supposed to be keeping it professional. And that was definitely flirting.
“Do you want to see it?” he asks me, holding the camera out to me.
“Why don’t you tell me what you see,” I say.
I’m hyper-aware that I’m meeting his flirting with flirting of my own, that this is not how a person talks to her boss. The dynamic between us is changing, and it’s too late now to go back to keeping things professional. Things were never just professional between us. We were fooling ourselves.
“Let’s see if you can do it in less than a thousand words,” I add. “We’ll see if you’re more eloquent than the picture.”
“Is that a challenge?” Tomas asks, raising his eyebrows.
“If you like.”
“Because I can tell you what I see in this picture in less than twenty words, I’ll bet.”
“Do it, then.”
He doesn’t look at the picture at all when he speaks. Instead, he looks right at me.
“I see someone I lost once,” he says, his voice quiet. “I see someone I’m incredibly lucky to have found again.”
I’m completely floored. I can’t be misreading his signals anymore. There’s no way this doesn’t mean something.
His eyes on me are like a spotlight as I feel my way back to one of the ride’s seats and ease myself down slowly. I feel like I might ignite with some bizarre and delicious combination of self-consciousness and excitement.
We finish the ride in relative silence. I glance over at Tomas a few times, each time having the feeling that he’s just been looking at me, but I never seem to catch him at it. I feel more aware of my own physical presence in this pod on the Ferris wheel than I think I ever have in my life. It’s as if I can actually feel every inch of the distance between Tomas’s body and my own.
Eventually we complete our circuit and step out into the fresh air. The sun is peeking down through a break in the clouds, creating very interesting light. I wish I could stop and stare at the way it catches Tomas’s skin.
Lara takes the camera from her father and hands it to Anne. “Take a picture of us!”
“Okay. Smile!” Anne holds the camera up.
“No, all of us.” Lara snags my wrist and pulls me into the frame.
My shoulder bumps Tomas’s arm, and I feel my breath catch. Being this near to him is so intense.
We stand grouped together, and I can’t help thinking that it must look as if we’re taking a family photo. Passersby glance at us, and I’m sure that’s how they interpret it. One or two look a little longer than normal, probably because of Tomas’s outrageous good looks or the fact that his daughter is so charming, but most just glance and look away. We’re just another family of tourists to them.
Anne steps to the side to shoot a picture of us from another angle, and we all shuffle around obligingly to face the camera. As we do so, a gust of wind comes up and blows a lock of hair into my face. Before I can fix it, Tomas’s hand is there, tucking the strand of hair behind my ear. His thumb slowly traces the line of my jaw, and I can feel my heart going a mile a minute.
“There,” he says quietly. “That’s better.”
I feel like I’m about to lift off the ground. Anne takes the picture, but I don’t know whether or not I remember to look at the camera and smile. All my attention is on the few inches of my face that Tomas grazed with the side of his thumb. It feels more alive than any other part of my body.
Anne hands the camera back to Lara, who passes it to Tomas.
Lara takes her father’s hand on one side and mine on the other. “Can we go to the church now?”
“Westminster Abbey,” I remind her automatically.
“Westminster Abbey,” she repeats.
I look at Tomas for approval.
He nods. “Absolutely we can go to the Abbey. We have so much to see today!”
Lara cheers and begins to skip down the sidewalk, still clinging to our hands. Over her head, I catch Tomas’s eye for just a moment, and quickly look away, my heart still racing.
Chapter 12
Emma
Tomas wasn’t joking—the day is absolutely packed. In addition to Westminster Abbey, we see Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, and Tower Bridge. Everywhere we go, I take pictures, astounded at the additions I’ll be making to my portfolio. Some of these are so good that I think I might blow them up and hang them on my wall at home. If nothing else, they’ll always serve me as a reminder of this magical day spent in this beautiful country with Tomas and his adorable daughter. Whether we have a future or not, walking along the streets of London together, I can’t help but feel like we’re at the beginning of something.
As the sun sinks lower in the sky, we all become tired from walking and hungry after a day of exertion. Tomas leads us to a restaurant so easily that I wonder whether it was always part of his plan for the day. Maybe he knew this place was here all along. I suspect this even more strongly when the restaurant turns out to be upscale and
offers a delicious menu. We eat three courses of delicious, world-class food and sit listening to Lara talk animatedly about her favorite sights from our day.
Over the course of dinner, though, the little girl starts to wind down like a music box, and by the time we’re eating our cake and Tomas, Anne, and I are sipping coffee, she’s drooping like a willow tree.
“She’s tired,” Tomas says gently, his gaze warm and loving.
“I’m not tired,” Lara protests.
Tomas wraps an arm around her and gives her a kiss. “Why don’t you and Anne head back to the hotel?” he asks. He glances at Anne as if to ask if that’s all right, and Anne nods. “You can put on a movie, if you’re still awake.”
She perks up a little at that. “Can it be anything?”
“It can be anything that’s appropriate for you. Anne will be the judge.”
“Okay,” Lara agrees. She takes one more bite of her cake, turns to give me a hug, and then takes Anne’s hand and allows herself to be led from the restaurant.
Tomas takes a long sip of his coffee and turns to me. “I’m hoping you might be interested in staying out with me a bit longer,” he says. “There’s more of the city to see, after all.”
“Yes, I’d like that,” I say. I feel slightly drunk, carried away by the events of the day, and I’m in no hurry for the feeling to end. The thought of going back to my hotel room and trying to sleep feels next to impossible.
And I’m also beyond eager to see what develops between me and Tomas. He’s been overtly flirting with me all day, and I feel sure it’s going to turn into something. It has to.
Tomas pays the bill and we leave the restaurant, wandering out into the bustling streets of the city. London at night is vastly different from London by day. The sidewalks are crowded with people, clustering outside pubs and moving from place to place in packs. It’s like walking out into a giant party. Tomas links his arm through mine, and I wonder if he’s only doing that so we don’t lose track of each other in the crowd or if he’s doing it to keep me close for another, more romantic reason. Just like everything else Tomas has done since I met him, there are multiple possible interpretations, and I’m afraid to believe in the one I want to be true.