by Ranae Rose
She was completely hopeless. She couldn’t stop thinking about him. What he’d done to her kept playing on a loop inside her head, and she found herself aching and tingling along with the memories, in all the places he’d touched her.
She sipped the tea, which she’d chosen instead of coffee. Caffeine was the last thing she needed right now. She was still wired from her encounter with James. Woven into all the tantalizing thoughts that raced through her mind was the knowledge that he’d be back in just a few hours. Would they pick up where they’d left off?
She glanced toward the swing in the living room, where Emily was napping again. If she happened to be asleep when James arrived, maybe things would start with another kiss and take off from there. Arianna didn’t have any condoms, and without a stroller or car seat, she couldn’t go out to buy any. Even if James didn’t think to pick any up, he’d proven that there were other things they could do. She wouldn’t mind getting her hands on him, next time around.
Just the thought was enough to send a shiver down her spine, one that was more hot than cold. He’d surprised her with what he’d done. When he’d told her not to worry about not having protection, she’d frozen, stunned into disappointment so deep it’d hurt. In that moment, she’d felt the familiar shame of having misjudged, of discovering that she meant less to someone than she could’ve imagined.
But she’d been wrong. When she’d realized what he’d really meant, she’d felt a different sort of shame – shame over having misjudged him. And then she’d forgotten about anything remotely like shame as he’d given her pleasure so hot it’d melted away any attempts at second-guessing what they were doing.
The feeling lingered now, hours later, and was intoxicating.
She nearly dropped her teacup when her phone rang. Jasmine-scented water sloshed over the rim, falling to the tabletop in a smattering of hot droplets. She ignored the mess in favor of hurrying to the counter, silencing her phone before the ringtone could wake Emily up.
“Hello?” She didn’t even take time to glance at the screen before answering.
“Arianna.”
“Selena?” She recognized her older sister’s voice, though they hadn’t spoken in weeks.
“Yeah, it’s me. How are you?”
Arianna’s heart raced, each beat a reminder of the secret pleasure that glowed inside her like a small sun. “Good. What about you?”
“I’m fine. Listen, I’m calling because—”
Emily whined, and the sound was quickly followed by a longer wail. The fact that she was in the next room didn’t matter much; Selena’s words were drowned out by the crying. Apparently, Arianna hadn’t answered her phone quickly enough.
“Hold on,” she said. “I’ve got to put my phone down for a minute.”
Emily wasn’t happy about having been woken up early. Her face was red and her little fists were clenched when Arianna lifted her out of her swing. It took a minute of holding her, rocking lightly, to calm her down.
When Arianna picked her phone back up with one hand, she held Emily against her chest with the other. “I’m back.”
“Is that a baby in the background?” Selena said it like it was so crazy she almost couldn’t believe it.
“Yeah.”
For several seconds, Selena didn’t say anything.
“I’m babysitting for a friend,” Arianna said, begrudging Selena the truth.
“Oh. Well, actually I was calling to see if you’d be willing to babysit for me.”
Now it was Arianna’s turn not to say anything as she did her best to shift Emily into a more comfortable position, wary of provoking another bout of crying.
“They changed my work schedule around next week – my immediate supervisor is taking some time off to have surgery. They asked me to fill in, and it’s going to mean working some extra hours. Mom would’ve watched Maya, but she and dad are going on vacation next week.”
“Right. The Poconos, for their anniversary.” Arianna’s mother had mentioned something about it to her last time they’d spoken, a few weeks ago.
“Yeah. My shifts next week will overlap with Josh’s, so we’ll really need a babysitter. So … would you mind, Arianna? I know you don’t like babysitting much, but it’d only be a few days, and I can pay you if you want.”
Arianna gripped the phone more tightly, feeling like a cat that’d just had its fur rubbed backwards. “I never said I didn’t like babysitting.”
“You don’t have to say it, and I don’t blame you. Look, I wouldn’t ask, but filling in for my supervisor is a huge opportunity for me. I don’t want to turn it down, and I know you’re always home, so…”
Now Arianna felt like a cat that’d had a bucket of cold water dumped over its head. Why did people assume that just because she worked at home, she was always available to do the things they were too busy to do themselves? Working at home meant working at home, not watching TV in her sweats all day, or however Selena thought she spent her time.
Still, Arianna liked her sweet one year old niece and didn’t spend much time with her, considering that they lived in the same city. She’d only babysat her a handful of times – already, she’d spent more time caring for Emily than Maya. Her relationships with her sister and parents weren’t the best of the best, but there was no reason not to try with her niece.
Well, no reason she couldn’t overcome, if she put her mind to it and left the past where it belonged: in the past.
“It’ll cut into my workdays, but I’ll watch her for you,” she said. “What times will you be dropping her off and picking her up? Never mind. I can’t write anything down – my hands are full. Just text me.”
The conversation ended shortly thereafter – something Arianna was grateful for. Although she didn’t want to exclude herself from her niece’s life, she couldn’t help but wonder if she’d done the smart thing by agreeing to watch her. An uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach flared up every time she imagined Selena dropping off her daughter.
Why did she feel so much worse about watching Maya than Emily?
A million reasons popped into her head. For one, James didn’t act like Arianna had nothing better to do and should babysit for him just because. He actually felt bad about infringing on her workday. That fact alone meant that Arianna didn’t mind the extra demand on her time at all.
And then there was the fact that though tiny Emily certainly stirred up some emotions Arianna would rather avoid, feeling like she was helping the baby girl, not to mention James, kept most of the pain at bay. With Maya…
It was different. Maybe it shouldn’t have been, but it was. The little girl was sweet as sugar, but Selena could be grating and it’d been ten years since Arianna’s relations with her immediate family had been smooth. They rarely talked about the event that’d caused a deep rift years ago, but they’d never been as close since then, either.
Relationships could be scarred, just like people.
Arianna let her free hand drift over the front of her body, her fingertips skimming her belly and resting on her hip. Beneath her clothing was ink James had put in her skin, and beneath that, something much less beautiful. She’d changed over the past decade, but deep down, she was still marked by what she’d endured. Hiding it didn’t change anything.
Emily raised her fist to her lips, making a serious effort to fit it inside her mouth.
Arianna turned to the counter, surprised at how natural it felt to cradle a baby against her shoulder while she made a bottle one-handedly. She’d fallen into the routine of caring for a newborn quickly, and recognizing that fact sent her spiraling even deeper into uncertainty.
* * * * *
When the sound of knocking echoed through Arianna’s apartment, it was late. Glancing at the clock, she realized just how late, and hurried to the door.
James stood there in all his glory, and the sight of him snapped her out of the melancholy mood she’d been in for the past few hours. Thoughts of Selena and the past flew out the wi
ndow as James’ grey-green eyes locked with hers, pulling her thoroughly into the present. Her entire body heated up as she remembered the feeling of his lips against hers, his hands on her body, inside her…
It seemed like it’d been an eternity since he’d pushed her to climax right on top of her kitchen table early that afternoon. At the same time, it felt like no time had passed at all.
“Hey,” he said, stepping inside. “How’d the rest of your day go?”
The rest of your day. Arianna’s body temperature seemed to creep a few degrees higher as she turned his words over in her mind, reading between them.
“There’s not much to say. It wasn’t bad, but it was all downhill after lunchtime.”
His lips curled faintly, giving in to a smile that threatened to melt her panties off.
This was the James she’d been so excited to get to know after her last tattoo, during dinner and on their way to his apartment. Over the past week, she’d discovered there was more to him than staggering sex appeal, but she certainly wasn’t complaining about the reemergence of his seductive side. Especially not after what’d happened that afternoon.
“It was the same way for me,” he said, stepping closer to her, just barely infringing on her personal space. “But I have a feeling things are about to look up.”
A thrill rippled through Arianna. Somehow, he always looked hotter in real life than she remembered. Memory was two-dimensional; when he was really in front of her, she couldn’t help but stare, mentally cataloging all the sexy details her mind’s eye just couldn’t do justice. The strong line of his jaw, the rare golden shade of his hair and the even more unusual color of his eyes… Even up close, she couldn’t decide whether they were more grey or green.
“Emily’s napping,” she said, nodding toward the swing, “but I don’t know how much longer it’ll last. She’s been out for about 20 minutes now.” She could nap for another hour, or wake up at any moment. Trying to get amorous while a sleeping baby was in the apartment seemed like a game of Russian roulette – if she woke up too soon, their plans would be shot down.
But it was either take a gamble, or simply forego what might have been. The look in James’ eyes said that he found the latter idea just as unbearable as she did.
“Hopefully it’ll last long enough,” he said, reaching for her.
His hands settled on her hips, and it was like picking up where they’d left off. Beneath the pressure of his, her lips felt faintly bruised from their earlier kiss. It was a good kind of hurt though – the kind that let her know she was alive. This was the sort of thrill it’d been worth coming out of her shell for.
The thought rushed through her, buoying her confidence as James slid his tongue between her lips.
As their kiss deepened, he gripped her hips more tightly.
She reciprocated by placing her hands on his body, first on his chest and then below, letting her palms glide over his stomach. He was smooth and flat there, his body radiating heat that warmed her through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. Then her hands hit his jeans, rough denim already strained over the hard rod of his erection.
Her heart skipped a beat as her fingertips brushed the rounded head of his cock, easily discernible, even with his clothing in the way. It was trapped tight against his body – any higher and it’d be jutting out of his jeans altogether.
The thought made her tingle all over.
When she ran the pad of her thumb down the length of his shaft, he broke their kiss with a hard breath, leaning back. His gaze drifted to the kitchen and the table where they’d last touched, then focused on her.
“I stopped at the store on my way here.” He dipped a hand into one of his jeans pockets.
The sight of the square package he held aloft made her breath catch in her lungs. Realizing that they’d finally get what they’d set their hearts on a week ago, she felt almost giddy. If anything, her desire for him had increased since then – tenfold, at least.
“Great,” she said, her gaze drawn to the table too.
When she looked back at James, he locked her in eye contact as intense as their last kiss.
“I’ve got a bed, you know. And I’m not sure that table was made for what we’re planning.” It’d been a cheap department store purchase, and though it’d supported her well enough earlier that day, James’ look of pure lust made her doubt the wisdom of expecting it to hold up to whatever would come next.
He gripped one of her hands, suddenly and fiercely, squeezing her fingers. “I can tell you now that that table was never meant to stand up to what I want to do to you.”
Her heart beat so hard she was almost afraid he’d hear it. “Come on.”
CHAPTER 7
Leading him by the hand to her bedroom felt daring, and more natural – more right – than she could’ve imagined. Maybe the promise she’d made herself was already coming true; maybe she was becoming bolder. The idea was satisfying, but for reasons other than those she’d expected. Now that it was actually happening, she knew deep down that she didn’t want to simply walk away from this with boosted confidence and a little more experience.
She didn’t particularly care if being with James broadened her horizons. She liked this situation, as strange as it was, and memories wouldn’t be enough to sustain a semblance of happiness. Not when it came to him.
He reinforced what she was already sure of by wrapping his arms around her as soon as they entered her bedroom. She didn’t even see the full-sized bed with its purple comforter, or the bookshelf by the window. She could’ve been anywhere; her eyes were tightly shut, and the feel and taste of him overwhelmed her, wiping awareness of anything else from her mind.
His grip on her hips was firm. He held her to him as he slipped his tongue into her mouth, delving deep.
Her breasts ached as they were compressed against his chest, and she was teased by phantom pressure in her core, a reminder of what he’d done hours ago. He’d already been inside her, had already seen and touched more of her than she’d exposed to anyone in a long time. She, on the other hand, had only fantasized about exploring him like that.
He groaned when she pressed her hand against the front of his jeans, palming his hard-on, eager to feel him skin-to-skin. Time was of the essence, but she doubted she’d have been able to slow down even if that hadn’t been the case. She’d already been waiting for more than a week, and it felt like it’d been even longer than that. Now that it was finally happening, she couldn’t keep her hands off him.
He seemed to feel the same way about her. His hands roved all over her body, gliding over her belly and breasts, slipping beneath the hem of her t-shirt. In a matter of moments, he’d stripped that over her head and was grasping the clasp of her bra.
When her bra was tossed aside, the feel of his hands on her bare breasts stole her breath away. Freezing with her fingers still touching the hard length of his erection, she took a moment to gather her thoughts before launching into action.
Last time, he’d stripped her down to almost nothing, had explored all the most intimate parts of her while exposing nothing of himself. She didn’t begrudge him that – it’d been the most erotic thing she’d experienced in well … ever – but there was no way that was happening again. Gripping the waistband of his jeans in both hands, she let a thumb drift over the cool surface of a brass button.
When she unzipped his pants, he ended their kiss and breathed hard into her hair, still cupping her breasts, squeezing. His dick rose immediately from the confines of his clothing, the shaft standing tall between the parted teeth of the zipper, head straining a last layer of cotton.
She stared at the promising shape, so close she could almost feel the smooth heat of him against her fingertips. Slipping a hand into his boxer-briefs, she freed him.
He was everything she’d expected from the moment her fingertips had first brushed the stiff rod of his cock. Smooth and hot to the touch, so hard that everything inside her drew up tight when she let her hand glide over h
is shaft. Everything she’d anticipated, except…
Well, there was a little something extra. Apparently, he hadn’t been joking about being pierced. Gleaming silver and stark against his skin was a captive bead, the steel loop disappearing into his flesh just over the base of his cock. Above the piercing, hair as blond as that on his head didn’t detract from the jewelry.
When she met his eyes, a wicked smile played across his lips. “Told you,” he said.
In the heated moments since he’d walked through the door, she’d forgotten all about the mystery of whether he was really pierced or not. Feeling him through his jeans hadn’t given any indication, either – whenever she thought of guys being pierced down there, she imagined jewelry inserted through the head of their cock, maybe even the shaft. This was different…
“I’ve never seen a piercing like that before.” And she’d certainly never seen a piercing of any sort on a guy this up-close and personal.
“It’s less about how it looks and more about how it feels.”
Heat blazed a trail across her cheekbones. “I like how it looks.”
She did. The sight of hard steel against tender flesh created an erotic paradox, one she could feel working its way through her veins in the form of white-hot lust.
“I’m glad.” His grin widened, and he gave her breasts another squeeze, supporting them from below as he teased her nipples with his fingertips.
Her breath got caught somewhere between her lungs and her lips, rendering her mute. The way he was touching her felt almost as good as the tabletop treatment he’d given her – beneath his fingertips, her skin was so sensitive she could hardly stand it.
“Did it hurt?” The words tumbled out as her thoughts bled into a haze, becoming less and less coherent.
“The piercing?”
She nodded, and the top of her head brushed his jaw. Even that felt sexy.