by R H Tucker
Approaching Jade and EJ, I tap EJ’s arm. “Hey, where are Zoey and Becca?”
“They left already,” Jade speaks up.
“What?”
She nods. “I knew things were going to be beyond weird and offered to get her tickets changed for her. They flew out a couple hours ago.”
“Oh.” I should be relieved.
Instead, I feel like a bigger ass than I felt last night.
28
Zoey
By the time our flight lands on the runway in L.A., I know there’s no chance we’ll see Derrik and the others. With the tickets Jade helped us change, we got on the plane before they were at the airport. Even knowing that, I still hurry Becca through the terminal. We only had our carry-ons, so thankfully we don’t have to wait around longer, and we make our way out to the pick-up area where Landon volunteered to pick us up.
When I don’t see his car anywhere, I immediately grab my phone. Becca slept through the three-hour flight and is still slogging behind me.
He answers after two rings. “Hey, where are you?”
“I’m almost there. I got caught in traffic. I’m right down the street, though. I should be there in five minutes.”
“Okay.” As I’m hanging up, Becca leans her head on my shoulder, yawning.
“Where is he?” she asks.
“Almost here.”
She nods, wrapping her arms around one of mine. “How you are holding up?”
“I’m fine.” I nod, staring down at the sidewalk. It doesn’t come out as confident as I would like. It’s more apathetic than anything. Like when someone asks if you want a glass of water at dinner and you’re not thirsty, but you say okay anyway so you’re polite, and who knows, you might get thirsty in a little bit. That’s how fine I am.
“I’m proud of you,” she says through another yawn.
I can’t help but let out a scoff. “Really?”
“Yeah. I mean, after everything that happened this last week, I know how you really feel …” I glance down at her on my shoulder, and her eyes stay on me. “… felt. But whatever, after everything that happened and then last night, you were still trying to be a friend to him. Trying to help him. I’m proud of you, Zoey.”
I’ve been attempting to stay strong through all of this, but something about her words tear down my bravado. Sniffling, I wipe away a tear.
“Oh no! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s okay.” I brush it away, calming myself back down. “I’m fine.”
“Zoey.”
“I am. Like I said during the flight, it’s all done now. For good. You and I can finally get back on track.”
I know she doesn’t believe me, but she doesn’t try to counter it. A horn honks, and we both look off to the side to see Landon’s Mercedes driving up to the curb. Getting out of the car, he comes over and gives me a hug. “Hey, you.”
“Hey.”
Pausing, he quirks an eyebrow as he stares at my eyes. “You okay? Your eyes are red.”
“Yeah.” I quickly run my arm over my eyes. “Yeah, I’m good. It was just an early flight, you know?”
“Yeah, what’s up with that, anyway?”
I glance back at Becca, who offers a confused smile. Giving her a nod, I turn back to him, placing a quick kiss on his cheek. “I just couldn’t wait to get back to you, that’s all.”
We head over to his car, and it’s impossible to not notice the side-eye Becca gives me, but again, she doesn’t say anything. Getting in the car, Landon turns on the radio, and we start our trek back to Karmichael.
Everything’s still running through my mind, but there’s also a sense of relief. Karmichael is one of the most populated cities in the county, but it feels small. People grow up in Karmichael, go to the local community college, meet someone, and stay. They raise their kids there, and then those kids have kids of their own. It’s home. And that’s why I’m relieved to be sitting in Landon’s car, only a couple of hours from my own bed. A sense of normalcy is needed.
“Holy crap,” Becca hisses from the back seat.
“What?” I turn around in the passenger seat to see what’s going on.
“Uh …” Her eyes jump up at me, then she quickly puts her phone down. “Nothing.”
My brow furrows at her. “Not nothing. What is it?”
“It’s, uh … it’s nothing. Just some, um, big sale going on. Good deals. I can’t believe we made it home in time before it’s over, that’s all.”
I roll my eyes. “Becca?”
Biting her lip, she glances back down at the phone in her palm. “It’s Derrik.”
“What about him?” For a second, my heart drops. After he left the party last night, I assumed he would’ve headed straight to his hotel room, but maybe he didn’t. Perhaps he went out and partied more, and something horrible happened to him.
“He got fired.”
Landon lets out a chuckle, sighing. “Rock stars.”
Ignoring his comment, I keep my focus on Becca. “He can’t get fired, Becca. It’s his band. Their band. They all made a pact or whatever, and—”
“No, not from the band. From Parker’s Place.”
She holds her phone to me, still nervously biting her lip, and I take it. She’s right. On the screen I see a popular website that covers all things entertainment. The headline? Rock Star Burns Out.
It goes on to talk about Derrik and Danica having a meltdown last night in Vancouver. It’s embellished, and I don’t know if they are basing it on rumors, or Danica’s people adding more to the story, but it says Derrik was caught cheating on Danica with an actress and Danica stormed out of the party they were both attending. She released a press release this morning telling everyone they aren’t dating any longer and that his role on her show was replaced with someone else. It ends by saying no one from the Kings or their management team were available for comment.
“Oh, Derrik,” I whisper, shaking my head at the screen.
Landon reaches over, taking my hand in his. “Sorry, babe. I know he was your friend.”
“Yeah.” I nod over to him, struggling to smile. “Friend.”
29
Derrik
There’s a commercial I remember seeing every now and then. It’s a drinking and driving commercial. First and foremost, even though I’m technically not old enough to drink legally, I know drinking and driving is wrong. But in this commercial, some guy has been drinking. He’s droopy-eyed, his car is swaying back and forth on the road. He starts to drift, and suddenly a huge horn blares around him. His eyes snap open, he pulls on the wheel, and he skids to a stop on the side of the road, scared out of his mind. And rightly so. At the end of the commercial, the warning flashes across the screen, advising you to never drink and drive. You’re left with the knowledge that, thankfully, the driver will have a new chance and will hopefully make the right decision in the future.
I’m thinking of that commercial right now. I’m surrounded by the band and Peter as we sit in first class. The airplane just activated the Wi-Fi, and all of our phones immediately blew up. As soon as I see the headline, that commercial comes to mind. I made a horrible, stupid, and selfish mistake last night, and now I wish I could be that driver who got another chance. But I’m not.
“EJ, switch seats with me,” Peter tells EJ, who doesn’t put up a fight. He gets up and moves two seats up while Peter takes his place, which is directly across the aisle from me.
“We need to talk about this,” he whispers over to me, and I nod. “What were you thinking, Derrik?”
Staring at the seat in front of me, I let out a sigh. “I wasn’t thinking.”
“You got drunk last night? You were with another girl?”
“Not exactly?”
“Explain what not exactly means because there’s a lot of gray area in those words.”
“I wasn’t drunk. I mean, I was drinking. I probably had too much, but I wasn’t—”
“You were.” His tone is harsher,
and all I can do is nod. I’ve heard his speeches and advice before. Mostly from listening off on the side, as he tells Maddox why he can’t always do the things he continually does. And it’s because he harps on Maddox more than any of us, I start to get angry. “Look, I screwed up. But gimme a break, okay?”
“A break? Derrik, you just got fired from one of the hottest TV shows in the country.”
“I don’t care, Peter,” I yell back at him. “I never wanted to be on that show in the first place. Besides, Maddox has done a lot of worse things—”
“Hey!” Maddox shouts, looking over at me from across the aisle and a seat ahead.
Peter raises his hand, motioning for him to calm down. “One, we aren’t talking about Maddox right now. And two, his outbursts are usually easier to wash over. He’s the bad boy of the band.”
“Seriously?” I snap at Peter, and he flinches.
He’s Maddox and Jade’s uncle and has been like one to EJ and me. None of us have ever gotten into an argument with him. When he covers for Maddox and has to talk to him, Maddox always seems understanding. Even if he does go out and do the same thing all over again the next month. But I can’t stand the double standard.
“So what, just because he’s the bad boy and I’m the lead singer, I can’t make a mistake?”
“This is more than a mistake. Not only are you off the show, she put out a press release about you. Derrik, what is going on?”
Jade is sitting in front of me and cranes her neck back to watch. Maddox and EJ both stare at me from their seats. And Peter waits patiently, either expecting me to confide in him or apologize. But I can’t do either right now.
“Nothing,” I say in a huff, crossing my arms over my chest.
The silence drifts among us, but I keep my eyes straight ahead on the seat in front of me. Out of the corner of my eyes, I can see Peter shaking his head, but he doesn’t add anything else. I plug in my earbuds, put my music loud enough so I can’t hear anyone, and try to forget this disaster of a trip.
30
Zoey
When we flew back home, we still had a few days left of spring break before classes started again. I would’ve been more than happy to stay home and do nothing all day, but Landon and a few other friends wanted to visit the beach, so that’s where I’m at now. San Diego.
Landon invited some of his friends, and we’ve all been hanging out on the beach for most of the day. Right now, Becca and I are browsing a couple of the stores along the boardwalk, as Landon and the others are playing football in the sand. Becca wanted to check out Desert Rose, a popular local boutique that offers cute footwear. After browsing through their sandals, we venture out to a small stand that sells smoothies. It’s a little place with a couple of benches and tables, so we order our strawberry banana smoothies and take in the afternoon beach vibes.
Sometimes it can be overcast at the beach, but not today. A few seagulls drift through the wind, crying out, waiting for beachgoers to drop scraps of food. A slight breeze in the air, and you can smell the ocean water—a crisp, fresh scent. I take a sip of my smoothie, then draw in another deep breath.
“What’s wrong?” Becca asks through chewing on her straw.
“Nothing.”
“Zoey,” she prods.
“It’s just Derrik,” I answer, staring out over the ocean. “Teen Weekly just posted about him going out again last night with Maddox.”
“They’re rock stars, Z. It’s what they do.”
“Not him,” I counter, earning a frown from her. “Look, he’s not a party guy. Ever since everything happened, it seems like all he’s doing is partying with Maddox. That’s not him, Becca. You know that.”
She reaches over, giving my hand a squeeze. “But what can we do? Zoey, I know you don’t want to believe it, but he made his choice as much as you did.”
I take another drink. “Yeah.”
Her eyes linger on me, but I add no more. She’s right. We both made our own choices. I just wish the choices didn’t seem so conflicted from both of us.
“Come on.” She grabs my arm and pulls me away from the table.
Walking through the water, we reach our friends, who are now playing with a Frisbee. Bobby takes it and throws it long, sending Landon into the ocean, diving for it. Everyone starts laughing, and Landon emerges with the disc, celebrating his catch. He runs over, planting a wet kiss on my cheek, and then throws the Frisbee back to Bobby.
“You guys buy anything good?” he asks.
“I saw these adorable sandals,” Becca answers. “I’m going to go back for them before they close. Zoey, not so much.”
Landon gives me a quizzical look. “Really?”
I lift my shoulders. “I don’t need anything. Plus, nothing really caught my eye.”
“Landon, your cell’s ringing!” Bobby calls out, and Landon jogs over to answer it.
Sipping on my straw, I start to chew on it again. Becca walks in front of me, over to the rest of our group, and says something everyone laughs at. This is the life I’m used to. My friends and my boyfriend, hanging out, all having fun. So why do I feel so detached from everything and everyone? Like I’m missing something.
I shake off the feeling and start to venture over to them when Landon lets out a yell.
“Hell, yes!” They all turn to face him, and he has the widest grin I think I’ve ever seen on him. “What has two thumbs and just got into SCU? This guy!”
“Yeah!” An eruption of cheers breaks out. Everyone throws their hands into the air, and a few guys come over and slap hands with him, giving their bro-hug thing guys do, still screaming.
Landon runs over to me, throwing me over his shoulder and spins us around. “Stop, stop,” I call out through laughter. He sets me down, and I hold his shoulders to keep the world from tilting.
“How awesome, right?” he says through laughter. “I can’t believe it.”
I nod, trying to smile, but I can’t help a slight hesitation. “That’s great,” I reply. I’m trying my best to sound as enthusiastic about it as him, but he sees through it.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I shake my head, pulling my hands back.
“Zoey?”
“It’s just …” Biting my bottom lip, I glance over my shoulder. I stare at the sunlit sky, still hearing the seagulls in the background, and the crashing of waves. This is all wrong. I should be happy for him. “I thought you were going to go to Ocean Crest with me?”
He frowns. “I got into OCU, but I never said I was going to go there. You know that.”
“No, I know you didn’t sign your letter of intent, I just assumed …”
“Zoey.” Holding his gaze, I try to smile, but I know it’s strained. “I don’t understand. You know I want to go to law school. SCU has one of the best programs in the country. And I’m still in California.”
“Yeah, three hours away,” I snap, rolling my eyes.
He stares at me like I’m a little girl not getting a toy, or someone being told they can’t have dessert after dinner. “It’s not like it’s across the country. This is life, Z.”
His words strike a chord, and I recoil, crossing my arms, offended. “I know this is life, Landon.”
“Then, why is this such a big deal? Why can’t you be happy for me?”
“I am happy for you. I’m glad you got into a good school.”
“You’re not acting like it.”
“I’m sorry, okay?” I shout at him. “I just thought we’d be closer. I didn’t know being in this relationship would mean I’d be in a long-distance one. If I wanted that—”
“You’d what? You’d be with Derrik?”
“That’s not …” I can’t find the words. More than feeling embarrassed knowing that’s what I was going to say, I’m embarrassed that I even thought it.
“Zoey, why are you with me?” he asks calmly.
The question catches me off guard, and I quirk an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“Why are we together?”
“Because … I mean, I don’t know … because we’re together.”
He stares down at the sand, shaking his head. I cringe a little, knowing he’s about to yell at me for such a pathetic answer, or even break up with me right here and now. What I don’t expect is to start hearing a chuckle out of him. His shoulders start lifting up and down, and the light chuckle turns into a full-blown laugh. Throwing his head back, he grabs his stomach, still laughing.
“Wow,” he says through laughter. “Wow …”
“What is happening right now?”
“I can’t believe it.” He turns around and walks closer to the water, letting it wash over his feet. All the while, I still hear him chuckling. Glancing back at me, he smiles, and I step closer to him. “This entire time, I was worried about how much I’d have to prove to you I wouldn’t cheat on you. Then I was getting jealous thinking Derrik would try to make a move on you. I never, not even once, thought I had to worry about you being the culprit.”
Now I’m annoyed. Throwing my hands to my hips, I give him an apathetic glare. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means you don’t want to be in this relationship.” Again, he says it with a chuckle.
“Oh no?” I ask him, unsettled. “Then, why did I ask you out.”
He steps closer. “I don’t know, Zoey. Why did you ask me out?” He waits, but I have no answer. “I’ll tell you why. Because you needed to distract yourself.”
“How dare you? I wouldn’t do that to someone.”
“No? Then, why’d you ask me out?” More silence. “Zoey, you were bored. It’s our senior year. You figured—”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I think I do.”
“Then, you’re an idiot. I wouldn’t play with someone’s emotions out of boredom.”
“Maybe it wasn’t boredom, then. Maybe you wanted to test me.”
“Stop,” I yell at him. “Why are you pushing me on this? And why would I want to test you? Out of everyone, I always defended you. I believed what you told me; that you made a mistake and you wouldn’t do it again. I don’t—”