‘Before I forget, can you go and see Elsie later? Molly collapsed.’ She held up a hand as he moved towards his medical bag. ‘She’s fine, but I said I’d ask you to pop in and see her later.’
‘I better…’
‘In a minute, Charlie.’ Her voice was soft. ‘After we’ve talked. It can wait a few minutes, it’s not an emergency.’
He hesitated, then locking the door led the way through to the staff room and sat down wearily.
‘Lucy, I didn’t know.’ Her clear blue eyes were locked on to his. ‘I was as shocked as you were.’
‘You ran away, how could you run away? She’s your daughter, Charlie, how could you do that? Abandon your own child?’
For a moment Charlie was shocked into silence at the look of raw emotion in her eyes, genuine hurt, and accusation. But the worst bit was the disappointment. He wanted to reach out, reassure her, but he knew he shouldn’t. For both their sakes.
‘I couldn’t let her see me. You have to understand.’ She glanced down, and he risked touching her, lifting her chin, so that she had to look into his eyes. Had to see how he felt, that he was being honest. ‘Look, on the day Josie came here she hadn’t got Maisie with her, like I told you. I’ve not seen Maisie for weeks.’ An eternity. ‘I would have given anything to have been able to run across the playground and wrap my arms around her. But that would have been wrong.’ She was looking straight at him again now and he eased away, before he caved in and wrapped his arms round her. ‘She might have thought I was back in her life, for good.’ It would have suggested to her a future that he couldn’t promise existed. ‘It wasn’t fair to let her see me, Lucy. That’s why I ran. I’ve no idea what Josie has got planned, I can’t see Maisie,’ he gritted his teeth, ‘until we agree what’s happening. But believe me, turning my back on her felt like…’ He couldn’t put it into words, it had been a physical pain. A betrayal. ‘I didn’t want her to see me at school and think everything was going back to normal.’
‘It isn’t?’
‘I don’t know what normal is any more.’ He paused. ‘Lucy,’ he stared into her eyes, willing her to understand, ‘I don’t know what it means if Josie brings Maisie here, even if I stay I can’t…’ he couldn’t commit to anybody, he couldn’t get to know Lucy better like he wanted to, he couldn’t bury himself in his work. ‘It could change everything.’
She nodded, slowly.
‘But I know we’re never going to go back to being a family, Lucy. I want Maisie to feel secure, I don’t want her to have false hopes. I can’t let her see me until I’ve talked to Josie properly, until we’ve got an agreement and I know where we all stand.’
‘I can understand that.’ The words croaked out of her dry throat.
‘I love her, Lucy, I’d give anything to have her here with me, but I don’t know.’ He blinked his eyes. ‘I just don’t know, it’s not even like I’d planned on staying here.’ He gave a short laugh. ‘Once Eric’s fit I haven’t even got a job.’
‘But you could settle here? You could look for a job?’
‘I’m not even sure I could get one round here.’ But he was avoiding the issue, he knew that. He felt in limbo, again. How could he make a decision about anything? ‘You don’t fancy a drink do you?’
Lucy watched as he ran his fingers through his hair, and resisted the urge to reach out and smooth it down. She wanted to hug him, tell him they’d work it out. But she couldn’t.
‘Well, actually…’ She did. She wasn’t sure that talking could change anything between them, or help solve Charlie’s problems, but she felt emotionally drained.
Charlie was heartbroken, he’d been struggling alone with the type of upheaval that would have floored many people. He wasn’t a man who would abandon a child, he was the complete opposite of her father. A man who was determined to do the best for his daughter, even if she wasn’t biologically his. Even if he had no idea what the future held.
She blinked and made a concerted effort to pull herself together. She had to support him, this man who she was sure had already stolen a tiny part of her heart. This man who could soon walk away from Langtry Meadows and take it with him. She had to be there for him, and for his daughter. To make sure that the little girl had a better childhood than she had, with no secrets, no lies.
‘But what about Molly?’
He stood up. ‘You could come with me? Then we could go straight to the pub, just for a quick one.’
‘Actually, with all the stuff that’s gone on today I completely forgot, it’s the end of term tomorrow.’ Maybe she’d go mad and have more than one drink. ‘How could I forget that? The half term holiday starts tomorrow night!’
He grinned, a smile tinged with unhappiness that made something inside her quiver. It was wrong, all wrong, she had to stop letting him have that effect on her. ‘You teachers, never at work. All these holidays.’
‘You can stop that.’ She punched him gently on the arm. ‘I’ll have you know I work damned hard, weekends, evenings, longer hours than most people do.’ She paused. ‘Well probably not as long hours as vets, but more than most normal people.’
‘Are you saying I’m not normal?’
‘Would I?’ She grinned, she couldn’t help herself. She couldn’t stay cross with him, even if she knew she was heading towards heartache.
‘Well, well, both of you are here!’ Elsie opened her front door wider and gestured them in. ‘Isn’t this lovely.’ She gave Lucy a knowing look, which she did her best to ignore. ‘Well now, you can sit with the puppies dear, while Charles looks at Molly.’
Lucy headed across to the puppy pen, but watched Charlie as he put his case down and patted Molly. She liked watching him work. Well, she liked watching him full stop.
He caught her watching and winked, and she looked guiltily away, hoping Elsie hadn’t seen.
Elsie though was more preoccupied with her dog. ‘She will be okay?’ There was the slightest tremble in her voice.
‘I think she’ll be fine. From what Lucy told me, I’m fairly sure I know what the problem is, but I will need to run tests to be one hundred per cent sure. Now let’s just run over it again. When I saw you on the green earlier, you’d just come out for a walk?’
‘We had yes, she’s not been out much on her own she’s been reluctant to leave the pups. But today she actually seemed to want a change, she was so excited and bouncy. I thought the pups were old enough, and I’ve always thought that if the dog’s ready to get out then it’s the right time, did I do the wrong thing?’
‘No, no. They’re well on the way to being weaned, aren’t they?’
‘They are, they eat for Britain, especially the podgy boy,’ her features softened and some of the worry melted away, ‘but maybe she’s anxious. Stressed, it’s the first time she’s been out for a proper walk since she whelped.’
‘She needed some time away from them. I’m sure she was more than happy to get away from them for a break, she wasn’t in any particular hurry to get back home, was she?’
‘Oh no, she’d been running round chasing birds as though she was a pup herself.’ A faint smile skimmed her face, lifting the wrinkles for a moment. ‘In fact, don’t tell the village committee, but she was in the pond at one point swimming round and round in circles.’
Charlie patted Molly and she rolled over to have her tummy rubbed, then got to her feet, shook herself, and barked.
‘She almost looks her normal self now.’ Relief flooded Elsie’s face. Molly wandered over to her mistress, rested her chin on Elsie’s knee and stared up at her.
‘Right, well I can’t be sure at this stage, but I think there’s a very good chance that it’s what is known as exercise-induced collapse. It’s common in these breeds, and dogs of Molly’s age. It’s warm and she’s been running about. From what you’ve said she’s had a mad half hour.’
‘It won’t happen again?’
‘It’s an inherited weakness, and so isn’t going to go away. But if E.I.C. is the proble
m then she’ll be back to normal now she’s recovered, you’re fine, aren’t you Molly?’ Molly pottered back over to him as he spoke and he fondled the dog’s ears as she rubbed her head against his leg. She sniffed his shoes as though nothing had happened, then wandered back over to Elsie, put her head back in position on her knee and gazed at her with sorrowful chocolate eyes. ‘It’s more a case of keeping an eye on her, not letting her overdo things and making sure she doesn’t get overheated or dehydrated. You’re happy to bring her in tomorrow for me to run some tests?’
‘Of course I am, but if you keep her in what about the puppies?’
‘It won’t be for long. The pups will be fine for a short while on their own.’
There could be nothing, Lucy told herself as she sat down on the floor, more adorable than a litter of golden retriever puppies. They clambered over her, tumbling and licking as they went, until one landed slap bang in the middle of her lap and gazed up with the type of adoration that nature had designed specifically for moments like this.
She’d been prepared to harden her heart, puppies were just puppies. But in that one moment, as it lifted its head and tried to lick her chin, Lucy was taken straight back to her childhood. She buried her face in its warm fluffy coat, breathing in the smell of warm puppy as it nuzzled her neck, leaned in closer so that she had no choice but to wrap her arms round it.
‘Are you okay?’
Lucy looked up to see Charlie there, she hadn’t realised he’d finished his examination of the dog and was watching her.
‘Fine.’ Her voice came out slightly strangled, and she realised that the pup’s coat was damp, and so was her face. Bugger. She wiped her arm across her eyes. ‘Fine, they’re just so adorable.’ Being buried under a mound of puppies had left her feeling all teary, although she was pretty sure that the earlier discussion with Charlie hadn’t helped.
He didn’t look convinced, his dark gaze never leaving her. ‘Molly’s fine.’
‘Wonderful.’ She wanted to look down, break the spell, but it seemed impossible.
‘Splendid news.’ They both jumped at the sound of Elsie’s voice. ‘Well you two youngsters can get off now. It’s been quite a wearing day, all this commotion, I think I need a sit down and an early night if you don’t mind.’
Lucy scrambled to her feet. Reluctantly putting the podgy puppy – that had scrambled its way straight to the centre of her heart – down.
‘Ahh, you’ve met Roly-poly pudding have you? He’s a naughty one, that one. You wouldn’t think it would you? Looks like butter wouldn’t melt. Right, right,’ she made a shooing motion, ‘off you both go, let an old lady have some peace and quiet.’
They were both ushered out, and Charlie held the gate open for Lucy, who hesitated awkwardly.
‘I better go and do some lesson prep for tomorrow.’ She couldn’t face another it’s-over-before-it’s-begun talk. Not now, not the way she felt.
‘I suppose I need to check on the cat that’s in overnight.’ They both spoke at the same time, then both stopped short.
Charlie pulled the gate to behind them. ‘Or we could just go and grab that drink?’
***
The sun was shining down on them as they reached the Taverner’s Arms, and Lucy let out a sigh of relief when she saw that the normal group of villagers were absent.
She loved chatting to Matt, Jamie and the others, but today she just needed to relax and unwind. To feel the evening sunshine on her face and not feel pressured to talk. And not inadvertently send Charlie into a bad mood and scurrying back to his surgery.
‘It’s the junior’s outdoor cricket nets lovey, they’re up on the ground behind the school.’ The bar lady informed her, as she cleared the empties from the bench by the doorway of the pub.
‘So, you’ve been here for a whole half term?’ Charlie took a long swig of his beer, then set the pint down.
‘Apart from one day.’ She smiled. ‘It’s a bit weird really. When I first came here I’d got the days marked up on the calendar and I was,’ she looked at him slightly guiltily, ‘crossing them off with glee, but I’m quite pleased now that I’ll be staying a bit longer.’
‘You’re not saying the place has grown on you?’ He had a teasing, almost mischievous look on his face.
‘I suppose so.’
‘Miss Harrington reckoned that Timothy Parry always had it in mind you’d stay longer.’ He chuckled, a deep, warm sound that came right from the centre of him, and she couldn’t help but smile back. ‘What? What have I done now to make you smile at me? That’s what she said.’
‘I think it’s weird how she calls you Charles, and you call her Miss Harrington.’
‘Ahh. I suppose she’s from the generation where doctors used surnames.’ He shrugged. ‘I was a toddler when I first met her, so it was only good manners, and she’s never asked me to call her Elsie, so it feels wrong to do it.’
‘Sweet.’
‘Are you taking the mickey?’ He was dimpling at her in a way that was very nice and lightly unnerving.
‘Not at all, Mr Davenport.’
‘You like her, don’t you?’
‘Elsie? I certainly do, Langtry Meadows wouldn’t be the same without her, would it?’ Of all the people she’d met in the village, Elsie had to be the one that had made the most impact on her. Well, apart from the man she was sitting next to.
‘You’re probably right. She’s a bit of a character, I’ll give her that.’
‘She’s got rather a soft spot for you too hasn’t she?’
He shrugged. ‘So, you’re here for the summer?’
She smiled. It had been a relief to finally make a decision. And she knew in her heart it was the right one, but it was bitter sweet. ‘Well I’m here until the end of term, then I’ll probably stay over the holidays, it seems a shame not to.’ She had loved her old job, but she had fallen in love with the village, and she suspected, a certain man who would never be hers. ‘What about you, now…?’
He stared into his glass. ‘I hadn’t planned to, no. But right now I don’t know what’s going to happen. To be honest I don’t know whether I’m coming or going.’ He paused. ‘If there’s any chance of me seeing Maisie, then obviously that changes everything.’ He glanced up, met her gaze. ‘I have to give her stability, make her feel secure.’
‘So Josie didn’t give you any clue that she was thinking about enrolling Maisie at the school?’
‘Not a hint of it. She said we had to talk, that Maisie was missing me and maybe she’d made a mistake, which believe me is a big admission for Josie.’
‘And she wanted you to see her?’
He studied his fingers. ‘We were going to arrange for her to stay over some weekends, see how things went. That was it. Weekends. I never dreamt Josie would uproot them and come here, she hates villages like this. You saw her reaction on May Day. I thought I was seeing a ghost when I saw her holding Jill’s hand. It doesn’t make sense, none of it does.’
Lucy reached over, and put her hand over his shaking fingers.
‘Did I do the right thing? Running away?’
‘I don’t know, Charlie. But you did it for the right reasons. You’ve no idea how badly not having my dad around hit me, but a lot of that was because I thought he’d abandoned me.’
‘He left you?’
‘No, I don’t think he did. I think in my case there was a lot more to it than a break-up. Nobody abandoned me, and my mum did everything with my best interests at heart. If you’re doing that then you’re doing the right thing.’
‘I’m not abandoning her.’ His grip on her hand had tightened. ‘Not unless I’m absolutely sure it’s the best thing for her, whatever Josie thinks.’
‘Even if she isn’t yours?’ She tried to keep her tone even, but she had to know.
‘She’s mine.’ He said it with conviction. ‘Even if there isn’t a trace of my DNA there, she’s still mine, Lucy.’
Hot tears pricked at the back of Lucy’s eyes. She was t
rying to be matter of fact about this, but the realisation that Charlie was far more of a proper dad to Maisie, than her own had ever been to her had brought that hard lump back to her chest. Just as it had earlier, in the surgery.
‘Good.’ She tried to smile. She was glad, deep down. Glad that he was the man she’d thought he was, not some pale imitation. But sad. He had a little girl in his life, a child who would need every moment of his spare time to ensure she felt secure, safe, wanted. If it was true that Josie wasn’t going to be in his life, it didn’t leave room for their relationship to go anywhere.
‘You looked happy today,’ he peered up under dark eyelashes, changing the subject deliberately, almost daring her to hold his gaze and answer honestly. ‘At Miss Harrington’s. You looked at home, as though,’ he paused, ‘you belonged.’
She looked down. She couldn’t help it. But she knew she’d gone scarlet, and knew that her fingers were trembling. She clutched the glass tighter to try and stop the feelings that were welling up.
‘But you also looked upset.’ He gave a wry grin. ‘Not very good at reading emotions am I?’
‘I’d say you’re pretty spot on actually.’
He leaned in, and she knew it was because she was talking softly, not for any other reason at all. Even if she was finding his closeness more than a little disturbing. It was even more disturbing when he tucked the stray lock of hair behind her ear. Doubly so. Now he could see the expression on her face, and his gentle touch had made her stomach squirm in a very unsettling way – and she was sure it showed.
‘At home and happy, but sad?’ He chuckled, a low, vibrating sound that sent a tingle down her spine. She should pull back, but she couldn’t. ‘I’d say I’m rubbish.’
‘They were happy tears.’
‘Really?’ He looked sceptical.
‘The pups made me a bit broody.’ Now he looked startled, and had definitely shot back in his seat. ‘Not that way.’ She laughed, suddenly freed from the intense scrutiny. ‘I have absolutely no desire at all to have a baby yet. I had a dog once,’ she shrugged, ‘it just reminded me of happy times I suppose.’
Summer with the Country Village Vet Page 22