A Bull Rider to Depend On

by Jeannie Watt

  “So far so good.”

  “The shoulder is holding up?”

  He nodded. “I miss you, Skye.”

  She pressed her fingers against her forehead. “I miss what I thought was true.” Her entire foundation had been rocked, and at this point, she didn’t know if she had enough foundation left to rebuild. She was hurting. She was numb. And so not ready to slip back into what she and Tyler had started to explore.

  “What do you want, Skye?”

  She gave a short humorless laugh. “Honestly? To have my ranch back. My life back.”

  “I wish I could do that for you,” Tyler said, getting to his feet. “Unfortunately, I have too much money sunk into the place.”

  “I know.”

  She spoke without looking at him. He said nothing and when she glanced up, she found him studying her with a faint frown, and for a moment it was all she could do to breathe correctly.

  “Hiding from life isn’t going to help, Skye. It’s only going to make things worse.”

  Her chin lifted. “I’m not hiding from life. I’m living it on my terms.”

  An expression of disbelief combined with something that looked like pity crossed his handsome face, which in turn sparked anger deep inside her. Before she could speak, he said, “I am not Mason.”

  “I need time, Tyler.”

  “And you, more than most, should know that time is not guaranteed.” He looked as if he wanted to say more, then instead he turned and strode out the door, letting the screen bang shut behind him.

  Skye didn’t move. She barely breathed.

  This was for the best. Tyler could live his life and she could live hers. They might have some awkward moments on the ranch, but it appeared that she’d finally gotten it through his thick bull rider skull that she wouldn’t risk getting smacked down again. Not for a long, long time.

  * * *

  WHAT DID IT say about Skye’s life that her only confidant was a cat?

  It said that she’d gotten exactly what she’d asked for.

  At least Skye could vent to Jinx and he wouldn’t spill her secrets. Chloe very much wanted Skye to spill her secrets. She didn’t know what was wrong, but, because Skye had been unable to hide the fact that something was wrong, Chloe was clucking around her like a mama hen. If Angie had still worked there, then Chloe and the world would have known everything, but Cody must have come down hard on his girlfriend, because not one person seemed to know what had transpired between her and Tyler and her dead husband. And Sara Sullivan, the temporary new hire, pretty much kept to herself. She was dealing with an upcoming wedding and an overbearing mother, and it appeared that she had enough issues in her life without concerning herself with those in Skye’s life.

  “You’re worried about your bull rider, aren’t you?” Chloe asked seven days after Tyler had left for the second time, and somehow Skye refrained from telling her that Tyler was not her bull rider.

  “He’s a professional and good at what he does,” Skye replied evenly. Then, to keep Chloe from continuing to question her, she said, “But of course I worry.” She did, and Tyler’s comment about not knowing how much time one had didn’t help matters.

  Chloe seemed happy to have a verified reason for Skye’s preoccupation, and Skye was glad she didn’t have to explain further how her life had been turned upside down and why. Upside down and inside out. It didn’t seem fair that she kept getting hit by stuff, but what could she do except buckle down and deal with matters?

  In the week that Tyler had been gone, she had finished her chicken yard and painted the chicken house bright red with white trim. Cliff had some laying hens he was willing to part with, and Skye planned to stop by his place on her first day off. Chickens would make the ranch cheerier, give her something new to focus on. Something to keep her from thinking about the big hole in her life.

  She’d felt much the same after Mason died, and, in a way, it was as if he’d died again. How long was it going to take her to get over the fact that he betrayed her in ways she hadn’t suspected?

  Had there been clues?

  She couldn’t remember any, but she hadn’t been looking. And every time she tried to think of reasons why her husband would stray while on the road, the knife in her heart twisted just a little more. She wanted to rage at Mason. To verbally beat on him. To tell him how he’d destroyed everything that had been good about their relationship with his lies. That she could have forgiven him the gambling, the lies of omission...but not cheating.

  She couldn’t forgive him, couldn’t forgive herself for being so patently unaware.

  It was too bad that Tyler was caught in the cross fire, but their relationship had been young. He’d said he loved her. Had practically shaken while he’d said the words, but all they’d done was freeze her up. Mason had professed to love her and she’d believed him, because she wanted to.

  She wanted to believe that Tyler loved her, too—and maybe he did. But she was too afraid to believe it. To trust him...or herself.

  Tyler did not contact her after leaving. She knew about his rides because she looked them up on the bull-riding sites. He was doing well in the standings, although it would be nip and tuck as to whether he’d make finals after his hiatus. Regardless, he was in the money, which made her feel good. He would be solely dependent on the ranch to see him through the winter financially. Maybe if he earned enough, he’d become an absentee partner. Surely that would be better than the two of them bumping into each other over the course of their days.

  And what if he got a girlfriend?

  No matter what she told herself, that wouldn’t be easy to handle.

  Tough. You will handle it.

  * * *

  SKYE WAS GETTING ready to drive to Cliff’s farm when she heard the sound of an engine and looked out her bedroom window to see a familiar truck park next to her car.

  Skye’s stomach lurched, and she instantly headed for the door. Why would Jess be there unless something had happened to his twin?

  “Hey,” he called easily as she walked out onto the porch, and her hammering heart slowed.

  “Hi.” She stopped at the newel post and set a hand on it, hoping she looked calmer than she felt. “What are you doing here?”

  “Checking in on my brother’s investment.”

  She frowned. “How so?”

  He stopped at the bottom of the stairs, propped his hands on his hips. “I drove to Billings to watch Tyler ride last night, and he asked me to stop by.”

  And a small part of her had secretly hoped that since he was so close, that he would spend a night or two on the ranch—a very small part that was quickly beaten into submission.

  “To check on me or the property?”

  “He was pretty clear about it being just the property. He wanted me to have a sit-down with you. Make sure everything is all right, because he probably won’t be back for months.”

  Skye’s heart did a double beat. Months. That was what she wanted. Right? Time to recover, get her footing back.

  “I didn’t see that coming,” she said, gesturing for Jess to follow her into the house.

  “Neither did I,” Jess said as he closed the door behind him. “Tyler always comes home when he’s close.” He gave Skye a look that she couldn’t say she felt comfortable with—as if she were to blame. A second later she decided that she’d misinterpreted, because he smiled at her and asked if she had any coffee left.

  After pouring two cups, she sat at the table and Jess sat on the opposite side. “Have you bought hay?”

  “I need Tyler’s half of the money if we’re going to go without a loan this year.”

  Jess pulled a notebook out of his shirt pocket and jotted down a few words, then looked back up at her. “When are you shipping cows?”

  “Two weeks.” She cupped
her hands around the heavy coffee mug. “Will Tyler be back for that?”

  “I don’t see that happening. He wants Blaine and me to help you.”

  “I see.” But she didn’t. What was with the rock-in-the-pit-of-her-stomach feeling? She forced the corners of her mouth up.

  Jess flipped the notebook page. “Tyler wants to buy a few registered Angus to replace the empty cows you’re shipping.”

  “Maybe he and I should talk about that.”

  Jess looked over the notebook. “As I understand it, talking isn’t going that well between you two.”

  “He told you?”

  He smirked at her. “I know my brother.”

  And what did she say to that?

  He closed the notebook. “You know I love you, Skye.” When he said it, it didn’t feel threatening at all. “But you’re ruining my brother.”

  She was ruining him? Right.

  Jess reached across the table and pried her hand off her coffee cup, gripping her fingers hard. “My brother has been in love with you forever.”

  Skye started shaking her head before she was even aware of moving. “I can’t help that.”

  “Yeah?” Jess sounded unimpressed with her adamant tone. “I think you could, if you had the guts.”

  “Guts?” Skye pulled her fingers out of Jess’s grip and clasped her hands together tightly. “How dare you?” She asked the question flatly, grimly, with no hint of dramatics.

  “I dare because I care about both of you.”

  “That doesn’t make things any easier.”

  He put his hand on top of her clasped hands. “I’m not trying to make things easier for you. I’m looking out for my brother.”

  Her chin jerked up and she met his gaze. “Did you know about Mason? Not the gambling, but...”

  Jess gave a slow nod.

  “For how long have you known?”

  “Probably since it started.” Jess’s mouth hardened. “Tyler was so damned angry when he found out.” He rubbed his forehead, as if somehow feeling his brother’s pain, then set his palm flat on the table. “There was nothing he could do about it.”

  “He could have told me,” she snapped.

  Jess leaned forward. “When, Skye? Before Mason died? After? When could he have told you? How would you have taken it?”

  Instead of answering, Skye dropped her gaze to her tightly clenched hands, closed her eyes, attempted to gather her thoughts so that she could battle on. She’d been over the same questions a couple hundred times, and there were no easy answers.

  “Skye?” Jess’s voice softened as he spoke, as if he recognized that she was on the edge of breaking. She wasn’t, and she needed to tell him that...but she didn’t.

  Instead she raised her eyes and said, “This is a complicated matter, Jess.”

  Complicated and messy and hurtful. She hated being duped and feeling like a fool. She hated that people had known things—bad things—about her husband that she hadn’t known.

  And...she hated that she totally understood why no one had told her about Mason’s behavior.

  As much as she wanted to lash out and blame someone, there was no one to blame except for Mason for cheating and herself for not picking up on it—and for blindly trusting her untrustworthy husband.

  Where did that leave her?

  It left her afraid to trust her own judgment. And she certainly didn’t trust those close to her to let her in on secrets that impacted her life in a big way. Angie had known about Mason before she had, and that was simply wrong.

  “I agree,” Jess said. “It is complicated. But it doesn’t need to be impossible.” The understanding note in his voice brought her closer to breaking than his accusatory tone had.

  Skye swallowed, drew in a breath. Confessed. “I’m afraid.”

  “I know.”

  “I thought Mason and I had a good marriage. I could forgive the gambling. But the other... I didn’t have a good marriage.” Jess nodded and squeezed her hand. “But I thought I did. That’s what scares me to death.”

  “Legitimately so.” He cleared his throat. “I know you’ve been blindsided and I know you have to work through things, but...”

  She pressed her lips together, then let loose with the truth. “I’ve been applying for bank loans again. To buy Tyler out. Things can’t continue like they are. It will make us both miserable.” Jess scowled at her and Skye frowned back. “It’s what I have to do.”

  “And if you can’t get a loan?”

  “Then I guess we continue like this, with you as the go-between, until I do get a loan. You said yourself that Tyler didn’t want to see me.”

  “He’s doing that for you.”

  “And I appreciate it.”

  Jess pushed his untouched coffee aside and got to his feet. “Can you answer me one question?”

  “It’s probably not a question I want to answer,” she said. “But I’ll do my best.”

  “Do you love my brother?”

  “It’s not a question of love, Jess. It’s a question of trust.”

  “You didn’t answer my question.”

  No she hadn’t. And that, in itself, was an answer.

  After a few beats of silence, Jess shook his head. “I’ll pass the information on to Tyler.”

  “Thank you.”

  He went to the door, opened it, then turned back. “One more thing, Skye...”

  “What’s that?” Her stomach tightened.

  “I want you to think—really think—about what you’re sacrificing...and what you’re gaining.”

  “And what I’m losing?” she asked lightly, playing the game, thinking that it was so easy to give advice when one’s own future and emotions were not involved.

  “Yeah.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Skye hadn’t seen Angie since the Founders Day celebration when her world had been turned upside down, and she assumed that was no accident, since it was common knowledge that Angie traveled to Gavin on the weekends to stay with Cody. Therefore, it came as a surprise to see the former waitress sitting in a booth on her side of the café early Thursday morning. Skye picked up her coffeepot and headed over to the table.

  “How are you doing?” Angie asked in a subdued voice as Skye poured the coffee.

  “I’m doing okay.” Most of the time anyway. Normally she enjoyed her job, and she was good at it. Today she wasn’t enjoying it so much. An out-of-town couple had been rude and demanding, and now Angie was here and Skye had to remind herself that the woman’s only crime, other than partaking in rampant gossip, was whispering too loudly. “How’s cosmetology school?”

  “I like it. I think I’ll be good at it.”

  “And think of how much gossip you’ll pick up,” Skye murmured. She was done tiptoeing around people’s feelings.

  “About that... I’m sorry I was the one who made you realize that—”

  “My husband had cheated on me? I’m better off knowing.” Skye held the coffeepot close to her chest. “Don’t you think?”

  “Cody dumped me after that.”

  “I didn’t know.”

  “We’re back together again...but he made me see some things I hadn’t realized before. Like...”

  “Gossip hurts?”

  Angie pressed her lips together and nodded. Skye gave a casual shrug. “It hurt me, but I’m thankful that I know the whole truth now. So maybe in this case, gossip was a good thing.”

  “If you say so.”

  Skye bit her lip and then, after scanning the room to make certain all of her tables were doing okay, slid into the booth across from Angie. “I do say so, and no hard feelings, okay?”

  Angie’s eyes were getting red. “Cody told me that I’m the reason you and Tyler broke u
p.”

  Skye shook her head. “Circumstances did that. I’m...” What? “...not ready for a relationship.”

  Only a partial truth, that. She’d been ready to ease forward slowly. Tyler had been good with not rushing matters, and then...bam! The truth had smacked her in the face. Scared her back into her hidey-hole.

  “I needed to know the truth,” she said firmly. “I may not have wanted to know it, but I’m better off.” Unless there were other lies out there, but she was fairly certain that her late husband held no more secrets.

  Angie reached across the table and touched her hand. “I’m not trying to gossip here, but I think you and Tyler were a good couple and I think you should know that Paige is still following him around.”

  “Following him?”

  “She’s been traveling to bull-riding events. Casper. Billings. I’ve seen her.”

  Skye sat back against the booth cushions, surprised at how much she hated the idea of Paige being anywhere near Tyler.

  “Is that gossip?” Angie asked in a low voice, as if afraid that Cody might find out she’d been telling tales out of school again.

  Skye shook her head. “No. It’s just the truth, and if she’s not keeping things secret, then there’s no need for you to do so.”

  Angie’s face brightened. “Yeah. I guess that’s the way to measure things.”

  Skye reached out to pat Angie’s arm, then slid out of the booth and picked up the coffeepot. “I agree. The truth isn’t gossip, unless there’s a reason to keep it secret. Then it’s not your place, or mine, to tell the tale.”

  Angie finished her coffee, then came to the counter to pay and say goodbye. “I hope things are better between us,” she said.

  Skye gave her a quick hug. “Things are fine. Come see me next time you’re in town.”

  Angie was smiling when she left the café. Skye, not so much.

  Paige was following Tyler around?

  Well, that had to stop...even though it wasn’t really her business. Was it?

  It sure felt like her business. Skye glanced around the dining room. Everyone was happily engaged in their meals, so she slipped back to the pantry, propped hands on a shelf and dropped her chin to her chest.