by T. J. Kline
“Nope.” He sat beside her and leaned back, resting his weight in his palms. Gracie moved between them and lay down with her head over Bailey’s foot, watching her closely. “I’m here in case you want to talk.”
She blew a bitter laugh out between closed lips. “With you?”
He arched a brow and cocked his head toward her slowly. “Why not with me?”
“We don’t talk, Chase. We debate, we argue, and we might even joke once in a while, but we never talk.” Bailey leaned her cheek on her knees and twisted her lips to the side. “You haven’t exactly been my biggest fan, Chase.”
Regret flickered over his face as he frowned. “That’s not true.”
“Really? Because you were pretty quick to call your dad and Justin when—”
He chuckled, knowing exactly where she was going with her comment. “Bailey, you were caught in a stolen a car. I knew my dad could get you off with a warning.”
“I didn’t steal it.” She sighed dramatically. “I just accepted a ride.”
“From a twenty-two-year-old who’d just been kicked out of a bar,” he reminded her. “You were barely sixteen.”
She shrugged. “I’d been drinking and I needed a ride home. I didn’t know he’d stolen it.”
Chase cocked his head to one side and gave her a half smile. “How many cowboys do you know who drive a BMW?”
“See, we’ll just never see eye to eye.” She couldn’t help herself from returning his grin. His voice was quietly soothing, teasing without judging, and she saw again why everyone adored him. Chase had a way of calming storms, diffusing the emotions raging within her.
Bailey wanted to believe that they were friends, or could be, but she couldn’t bring herself to trust anyone right now, not when her heart was still reeling from Justin’s insensitivity.
Chase shifted, bumping her arm with his shoulder. “Besides, even if we don’t, that doesn’t mean I can’t be a sounding board for you. I will sit here and keep my mouth shut. I promise not to form any opinions unless you ask for one.”
She shot him an incredulous look. “You? Silent? Did Justin send you out here to try to change my mind?”
He chuckled, quietly. “No, and right now, I doubt he’s even speaking to me since I took your side over his.”
“My side. Why?” Her gaze shot up to meet with his.
“Because he had no right to say the things he did. So that makes him either an ass for doing it on purpose or an idiot for not realizing how much what he said hurt you. I don’t think he’s an ass, and he did take quite a few hits to the head in college . . . ”
He was trying to lighten her mood, but she didn’t want to hear him trying to defend Justin. He had accused her of being like her mother. She’d heard the whispers about her mother for years, speculating where she might be now since no one had ever seen her name grace the big screen. Like a phantom, she’d up and disappeared with no concern for those she left behind. For Justin to accuse her of the same was like putting a knife in her back and twisting. Her gaze hardened and she looked away, letting her attention fall across the yard, at the woods beyond.
“He didn’t hurt me,” she lied. Maybe if she pretended it was true long enough, it would feel true.
“Sure he didn’t.” Chase obviously wasn’t buying her tough-guy act and wasn’t going to let her try to pull it off. “And, for the record, no one thinks you’re an idiot. Everyone jumped on Justin’s case as soon as you left.” She looked at him in disbelief. “Bailey, look, I remember your mother, too. She was a beautiful, headstrong, opinionated woman with a dream. She might not have been perfect and I might not agree with the choices she made, but that doesn’t give me the right to judge her, or you.” He stood up and dusted off his jeans before holding a hand out to her. “And, for what it’s worth, she passed her best traits down to you.”
Bailey stared into his green eyes, wishing she could believe him but knowing full well he was simply pacifying her.
When she didn’t take his hand, Chase slipped his hands into his pockets and nudged her toe with the tip of his boot. “I’m curious. What made you decide to leave town now?”
“Not out here for intel, huh?” She eyed him suspiciously.
“No,” he assured her. “I just wondered if your sudden exodus had anything to do with us, or what happened between us.”
She couldn’t help the sardonic laughter that slipped past her lips. “Wow, your ego knows no bounds.” Bailey shook her head. “For your information, I’ve been planning this for almost a year; I just didn’t know how to break the news and now, I’m sure you can see why. So, to answer your question, no, it has nothing to do with you, Deputy Casanova.”
“I just didn’t want—”
“Did you really think that one kiss from you would make me fall so desperately in love that I had to leave town just to cope? You’re not that good a kisser, Chase. You’ve been watching too many chick flicks, Casanova. Don’t all those girls you take out let you watch anything else?”
“Is that a dare?” he asked. Bailey felt her heart slam against her ribs before he rolled his eyes at her, not bothering to hide the lopsided grin that tipped his lips, and she knew he was joking. “One, I hate being called that and, two, I just didn’t want there to be any weirdness between us. We were both just worried about Julia and then so relieved that we made a mistake.”
A mistake? His words hit like a stake to her heart but she wasn’t about to let him see it.
“And today?” He didn’t answer, looking down at his hands. Bailey shook her head and looked over at Gracie, her head flat against the top of her paws.
“Gracie, it’s no wonder he doesn’t have a girlfriend if that’s how he sweet-talks them.” The shepherd lifted one doggie brow before rising and nudging Bailey’s hand, looking back at Chase as if she was begging Bailey to give him another chance. Bailey squatted down and buried her face at the dog’s neck, rubbing her shoulders.
She stood, keeping her back on him, determined not to let him see her heart being torn to shreds and letting her bitterness hide the hurt. “You know, I’ve been a lot of things to a lot of people, Chase—a good time, a revenge—but I’ve never been someone’s mistake. Thanks for popping that cherry for me. And I’m so glad I was your first, Hero, seeing as how you never make them.”
Bailey walked away, letting the ashes of her heart float away like useless confetti after the grand hurrah.
BAILEY SAT, STRADDLING her bike, staring at the front door of the MonkeyBone tattoo parlor. She’d been inside several times but had always bailed at the last moment, unable to find an image she was willing to commit to. She slid her helmet off as the conversations with Justin and Chase replayed through her mind. As far as they were both concerned, she was irresponsible and immature, one mistake after another.
She was tired. Of trying to reach the standard everyone set for her, of never being able to be the person she wanted to be, to just be Bailey. There were limitations put on her, expectations because of her family name, and the weight had just become too much to bear. She wanted her freedom, and this was going to be her first step.
Bailey pushed open the door of the tattoo parlor and a bell tinkled overhead, alerting the proprietor of her presence. Elaina’s soft, breathy voice called out, “Coming, be right there.”
She felt the butterflies kick up in her stomach, fluttering wildly and making her feel slightly sick. She took a deep breath, trying to convince herself that this was a good idea, something she needed to do, especially considering what had just happened at Julia’s house.
“Hey, how can I—oh, hi, Bailey. You’re back again?” Elaina came from the back room. She noticed the new piercing through her eyebrow and a new tattoo on her wrist. Most of the town steered clear of her, but she was a beautiful Latina woman who wore her heart on her sleeve in the form of several tattoos. Several people in the town had misjudged her as being a troublemaking rebel, but Bailey recognized her as an artist.
She nodded onc
e, sharply. “I know what I want.”
Elaina grinned at her. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.” Bailey heard the tremor in her voice and Elaina laughed as she glared at her. “Just give me the damn waiver and let’s get this over with.”
The smile disappeared. “You’re really serious, huh? Okay.” Elaina slid a paper across the counter to her. “What are you looking to get?” She reached out and pulled out a piece of transfer paper and a pen.
“A bird, a phoenix.”
“Do you have a picture?”
“Yes.” She pulled her phone out and showed her the picture she’d found online. “Like this.”
Elaina arched a brow in question. “You realize this is going to take a while, right? It’s pretty intricate.” She began sketching while Bailey filled out the waiver. “Where you were thinking?”
“The back of my shoulder, about this big.” Bailey held up her fingers in L shapes, touching her thumbs together.
“Well, okay. Black and white?”
“Color, red and orange.” She looked down at the picture again. “It’s time for this bird to spread her wings.”
“WHERE’S BAILEY?”
“She left.” Chase ran a hand over his short hair.
“Already?” Julia looked worried as she held Emily out for Dylan to take. She carefully pushed herself into a standing position. “I thought she was coming back in.”
“So did I.” Jessie frowned at Chase. “What happened?”
He sighed and shrugged, feeling completely defeated. He’d gone out to make things better, make her realize how much she meant to her family, how much everyone in this house cared about her, including him. Instead, he’d called her a mistake.
Justin narrowed his eyes, and Chase knew he wasn’t going to let this go.
“I’m going to head out, too.” He slid an arm around Julia and gave her a quick squeeze.
“Don’t be such a stranger,” she warned. “Come by once in a while.”
“I will,” he promised, feeling guilty for not doing it more often. “Jessie, I’ll have my dad call you about those two boys this week.” She nodded as Justin rose from beside Alyssa.
“I’ll walk you out.”
Chase felt the desire to cringe but contained it. Justin was a good friend, always had been. He jammed his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, waiting for Justin to speak his mind as they reached the front porch. He hadn’t followed Chase out here for no reason.
“Are you really okay?”
“I’m fine.” Chase avoided looking at Justin. He didn’t want Justin to mistake the regret for hurting Bailey with his comment as a relapse into the depression and guilt he felt over Lance’s death.
“Because, you realize I’m still here if you need to talk. It’s not like grief has an expiration date.”
“I appreciate it. That was one particularly tough night.” He glanced at Justin, who hung his head, sheepishly. Neither of them had ever really talked about the night Justin had found him loading a single bullet into his gun, ready to pay for what he’d done to Lance. Or the days after when Justin closed his clinic to make sure Chase didn’t change his mind.
“Chase, I’m sorry for what I said.” Justin stopped partway to Chase’s truck. “You know you’re family. You’re like a brother to me. I just . . . ” He threw his hands into the air, letting them fall as he shrugged helplessly. “I had no right to say that to you, regardless of how frustrated I am with Bailey.”
“You need to back off of her.”
Justin sighed and ducked his head. “I know. But I’m trying to keep her safe. She just doesn’t get it. She thinks she’s ready to venture out and take on the world, but she has no clue what’s waiting for her.” He shook his head and started for Chase’s truck. “Thanks for trying to get through to her tonight. Not that it probably did any good.”
Chase wasn’t about to admit the other reasons he’d followed Bailey outside. He slid his keys from his pocket and pressed the button on the key fob to start the truck. “I should get going.”
“I just wish she’d quit trying to keep everything a secret.” Chase’s gaze snapped up to meet Justin’s. He wondered if Justin really was talking about Bailey or if he was fishing for more information. “She knows that honesty is everything in this family. It hurts to know she’s been lying and hiding this band for so long, and the fact that she’s been planning on leaving. It’s selfish. Doesn’t she have any clue how much she’s hurting Jessie and Julia?”
Chase opened the door, his fingers gripping the metal, letting Justin vent and praying that he wouldn’t accidentally say too much, wouldn’t give away his feelings for Bailey. As Justin pointed out, honesty was everything to him. If he were to find out how Chase felt about Bailey, how he’d always felt about her, he’d feel blindsided and betrayed.
“I don’t think that’s what she was trying to do, Justin.”
“I need your help, Chase. I need to convince her that this is a bad idea.” Justin slid his hands into his pockets and slouched his shoulders, looking defeated. “I don’t know what else to do.”
Chase owed Justin his life, so if that meant setting aside his own needs in order to help Justin keep an eye out for Bailey, to ensure that she was safe and happy, it was the least he could do. “I have no idea how to help, man, but you know I’ve got your back.”
If Bailey would even speak to him.
CHASE LOOKED DOWN at Gracie, seated at his feet while he leaned against the passenger door of the cruiser parked outside Bailey’s house. Or at least, what was Bailey’s house for just another few weeks. “How about if you help me out this time instead of letting me say stupid things?” Gracie heaved a sigh as she closed her eyes, ignoring him.
He’d been nearly as big of an idiot as Justin, putting his foot into his mouth sideways, and hurting the one person he cared about the most. What in the world had possessed him to tell Bailey that kissing her had been a mistake? Kissing her had been something he’d wanted to do most of his life, something he’d been tempted to do far too many times since returning to town, but even knowing he should be sorry for it didn’t make it seem like a mistake. But, the word had fallen past his lips. Maybe it was simply a Freudian slip.
He was supposed to see her as family. He’d never had any problems seeing Julia and Jessie that way but, for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out what made him unable to view Bailey the same way. Before he’d left for the military, her youth had been an easy excuse not to act on his feelings, but once his service was completed, she’d been out of high school and there would have been nothing to stop him. Other than his friendship with Justin. So, when he was hired on in Oakland as a rookie, it was a relief to know he’d rarely be around town, just a few visits around the holidays, and it would be fairly easy to avoid the temptation she presented on the few occasions they would run into one another.
But after Lance’s death, Chase made the decision to return, wanting to get as far away from the pain and memories of his partner as possible. Everyone in town called him a hero, but only Justin knew the truth. Chase was being a coward, running away to nurse a wound he wasn’t sure would ever heal. Not that Justin called it that. He’d encouraged Chase to return to police work as a local sheriff’s deputy with his father, reminding him of why he’d loved the job. While Chase loved being back home, serving the community he’d grown up in, he hadn’t realized how hard it would be to see Bailey again, knowing he couldn’t have her. It would have been bad enough to betray Justin, but Bailey seemed more interested in having a good time. She didn’t act like she had any desire for something that would last beyond a night.
However, Chase wasn’t about to leave things the way they’d ended last night, with her angry at him for a stupidly chosen word. If he didn’t smooth this over with her now, it was going to escalate into a situation that was bound to blow up and, probably, in front of her entire family.
Chase looked up as the screen door slammed shut and Bailey exited the house,
her back to him as she locked the door. He straightened, reaching for the to-go coffee cups in the holder on top of his car.
“Morning, Bailey.”
She jerked her head around in surprise then frowned when she saw him. “What are you doing here?”
“I brought you coffee from Perks, just the way you like it—two sugars and cream. A peace offering from a peace officer.” He gave her his most charming smile, the one that usually had women sidling up next to him and practically begging for a date. He prayed it would work but, then again, Bailey wasn’t like most women.
She didn’t even crack a smile and he knew he was in trouble. “That was the worst pun. Don’t ever make that joke again.”
It was obviously going to take more than a cup of coffee to gain her forgiveness. She made her way toward him, an overstuffed tote bag over one arm and her guitar case in her right hand. She reached down to pet Gracie quickly before snatching the cup from the cardboard holder.
“Thanks.” She tipped the cup toward him and turned her back on him, heading down the sidewalk. She’d been careful not to touch his hand, to keep her fingers from even grazing his, and he couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Those casual touches were the only things he had to get him through watching Bailey date other men, seeing her smile brightly for them while she barely glanced his direction.
“Wait, where are you going?”
“I have an appointment.”
The cryptic answer wasn’t unusual for Bailey, but there was more iciness than usual in her tone. “Get in the cruiser. I’ll give you a lift.”
She stopped and looked back at him, her smile coldly calculating. “No, thank you, Deputy. I’d hate to tarnish your reputation. We wouldn’t want the town to see their local hero making a mistake.”