by Gigi Moore
God, he was gorgeous, at least what she could see of him. She couldn’t imagine what his eyes looked like, and as if reading her mind, he swept off his hat and cradled it in the crook of one arm to give her a better, full view of his face.
Tamara swallowed and had to stop herself from gaping. Scratch that first impression. Breathtaking was a better description. He had a full, wavy head of chestnut hair and keen azure eyes that stared down at her with a curiosity and intensity that made Tamara moist. She switched her weight from one leg to the other, surreptitiously squeezing her thighs together to stem the flow.
“Tamara Carpenter?”
“Uh, yes. And you are?”
“My name is…J.”
Jay had a raspy, deep voice that reached down inside and tickled her G-spot.
God, it had been too long since a man had made her feel like swooning. Had a man ever made her feel like swooning? Or maybe it had been too long since she’d had some good loving.
Tamara wondered if the eleven-year gap between her and James proved part of their problem, if maybe he thought himself her daddy and the boss of her. He had been an adequate lover, but she’d missed the enthusiasm and spontaneity of the younger men she’d acquired a taste for since her first affair with ten-years-older-than-her Noah.
In the year that they’d dated before his proposal, Tamara had often wondered why she stayed with James. Sure, he looked attractive, demonstrated intelligence, and they had their profession in common, but when it came to pleasing her, not just inside of bed but outside it, James’ cool, master-of-his-domain attitude left a lot to be desired. She often questioned her attraction to him, wondered if she subconsciously searched for the father-figure she’d lost when her father dressed her down for lying with a Double R wrangler he thought much too old for her.
Presently, Tamara cleared her throat. “Jay, you said?”
“Yep. I’m your ride to The Double R.” He jutted his chin toward the suitcase at her feet. “That it?”
“And this.” She nudged the matching Keepall on her shoulder, and before she could object, he took the bag from her shoulder. He flipped his hat back onto his head and slung the strap of her bag over his shoulder in one fluid movement. “You don’t have—”
“It’s not a problem, really.” He looked at her, his expression so joyless and stern he reminded her of her father when he’d burst into the barn on her and Noah.
Tamara’s stomach flipped over.
A grown woman, self-sufficient and thriving, Tamara yet doubted whether she could go through with this without some sort of liquid fortification. In fact, she decided she could use a stiff drink before heading out to McCoy. That is, a stiff drink for now. She’d welcome a stiff something else later if Jay proved amenable. “I’d like to make a stop before we go to the ranch.” Thinking about it now, she didn’t know why she hadn’t had a drink on the plane.
“You have some place specific in mind?”
Hmm, she loved his lazy drawl and caught herself sneaking looks at his profile as they headed for the exit. She let her gaze drift down to his left hand to check his ring finger. She released a breath when she found it empty. “Is there a bar nearby?”
“We have a saloon at The Double R.”
She shook her head. “I’m not ready to go to The Double R yet. Is that going to be a problem?”
He paused to look at her, his gaze raking her from head to toe and leaving a trail of heat over her whole body as if he had touched her with his hands or tongue.
Tamara put her hands on her hips, more for something to do with them than to be defiant, although there was that too. When she noticed Jay quirk his brow in apparent amusement, she lifted her chin and gave him her best intimidate-the-witness-on-the-stand glare for good measure. “Well, is it?”
“Not a problem at all, ma’am.”
She couldn’t put her finger on it, but she found something familiar about him. Her body tingled with awareness as if they shared a past. But wouldn’t she remember someone like him on the ranch? Of course, it had been nearly twenty years since she’d been back, and he couldn’t have been more than twenty-five. He’d probably just been a toddler when she’d made her explosive departure, so it wasn’t possible she could know him or him her.
Tamara decided she wanted to get to know him—at least in the biblical sense.
Intellectually, she realized herself on the rebound, but her body refused to have a nickel in that dime, hot for the young cowboy like she hadn’t been for any man in a very long time.
She followed him to his vehicle, a spanking new, shiny black Chevy Silverado. If he had been a man of smaller stature, she would have automatically thought he tried to compensate for some shortcoming with his choice of truck, but Mr. Jay had no shortcomings as far as she could see. Not a one at all.
Tamara licked her lips as he walked around the truck to open the back door and bent at the waist to carefully stow her bags on the floor of the truck. She watched the way his back and shoulder muscles flexed beneath his white western shirt. He had the nicest ass too, round, firm and beckoning her to sink in her nails and teeth.
She shook her head at the thought. God Almighty, it had been too long since she’d had someone like him—young and rugged and just all male. Hmm, she guessed something could be said for ranch life because they certainly didn’t grow them like him back in New York. Sure, some good-looking men abounded in the city, but everyone in her circle wore a suit and tie or the latest designer threads trying to keep up with the Joneses.
Jay’s body looked like the most designer thing about him. Otherwise, he put on no pretension or airs. He seemed simply a desirable man. Tamara blinked when he stood up and turned to her with a frown.
Had he caught her staring at his butt? Not the best way to make an impression and start off her stay at The Double R. She didn’t want the word to spread that a loose cougar prowled the town if this proved the case, at least the on-the-prowl part. She didn’t consider herself loose by any means, just a woman with needs and a healthy appetite. And as for the cougar part? Well, maybe a few, okay, several years separated them, but who counted anyway? They wouldn’t be doing anything illegal . So who had a—
“…problem?”
She blinked. “I’m sorry?”
“I asked if you have a problem. You’re looking at me funny.”
Tamara instantly shook her head. “No problem. I’d just like to get to a bar.” God, had she just said that? The man must surely be thinking she needed rehab!
He chuckled as he opened the passenger door for her. “One bar coming up.”
“Thanks,” she mumbled, and climbed up into the leather seat.
Jay closed the door behind her and sauntered around the front of the truck to get into the driver’s seat. He looked at her from the corner of his eye and said, “I don’t know how you Yankees do things back in New York, but around here, we buckle up for safety.”
Tamara shook herself out of her sensual stupor and pulled the belt across her torso to fasten herself in.
Jay did the same then keyed the ignition before he turned his head to look at her. “There’s a little place down the road a piece that should suit your needs right nice.”
Tamara nodded, not sure what she needed yet, except him.
Chapter 4
She didn’t recognize him.
Jess didn’t know whether to be angry or hurt at this fact, disappointed or sad. He thought he was a little of all, especially disappointed. Out of all the people who’d lived on the ranch, aside from his and Jax’s parents and Bailey, no one had ever been able to tell him and his brother apart except Tamara.
Where had her insight gone?
Logic told him she hadn’t seen him in close to two decades, that he had been a kid when she’d left and had looked a lot different then than he did now. He stood a good two feet taller and tipped the scales more than a hundred pounds heavier for two things—pretty big differences. But his face? Sure, he had aged, but he still had his
same basic features, the same eyes.
Couldn’t Tamara see her boy beneath the man? Or did the overall adult package Jay represented blind her?
Even if he was blind to his attractiveness most of the time, Jess always had his identical twin and the bevy of female admirers panting after Jax to remind Jess that he wasn’t too bad in the looks department. Tamara’s reaction to him back at the airport just confirmed this.
He grinned at the memory of catching her staring at his backside. The look on her blushing face had been priceless and went a long way to assuage his irritation at her snub, no matter how unintentional it had been.
After the anger and hurt came the thoughts of acceptance and reconciliation. He didn’t know where they came from, but he asked himself, why not go along and play the charade? She thought he was someone else. Of course he had contributed to this misconception with the briefest version of his name he could think of off-the-cuff. He figured he would be someone else and they could start off fresh—just a man and a woman who found each other attractive.
He thought it better this way. She wouldn’t have to suffer under the older nurturer memories that would inevitably slip into her mind when she realized his true identity.
He knew he justified his actions, already prepared for her anger when she figured things out because he knew she would. He couldn’t stay in her company too much longer without letting something slip and give himself away. Granted, they’d known each other a long time ago, but they did share some history. Not to mention they would arrive at the ranch eventually, and once she saw Jax the jig would definitely be up.
“What are you smiling at?”
He glanced at her from the corner of his eyes. “I just thought of something funny.”
“Don’t keep it to yourself. I could use a good laugh.”
“Why?”
She turned to him, and he felt her grimace before she asked, “Why?”
“Why could you use a good laugh?”
“Do I need a reason to want to laugh?”
He shrugged and didn’t know why he wanted to antagonize her except that he enjoyed the glow to her caramel-brown skin when she flushed at his question.
Jess shifted in his seat as he paused at a stop sign and let a couple of elderly women cross the street in front of him. He followed them all the way to the sidewalk, hoped looking at them could get his mind off of the woman beside him who made the critter in his jeans harder than a rock. He closed his eyes briefly and took a deep breath as if this could help him rein in his lust. It only made things worse, especially with the vision of Tamara standing at the carousel in hip-hugging, painted-on blue jeans, sky-blue, midriff-exposing, baby doll T-shirt beneath a denim jacket rushing across his mind’s eye. Not to mention the spicy-sweet aroma of her wafting throughout the cab of his truck.
Christ, he’d missed her! He missed her smell, the laughs they used to share, the sound of her voice, and her crazy sense of humor. He hadn’t known just how much he missed her until this moment. But could he say any of this without giving himself away? He’d really backed himself into a corner when he hadn’t told her the truth.
It’s not too late.
Jess gritted his teeth against the angel whispering in his ear, preferring to listen to the devil that told him he hadn’t really lied to Tamara, but had just omitted the truth. He had no intention of hurting her, after all. He just wanted to see where his gambit led them.
“Why don’t you want to tell me why you were smiling?” Tamara asked.
Jess opened his eyes and stared through the windshield for a moment, shocked they had covered the twenty-five miles from the airport already. He steered his truck to the next block where he parked in front of Loaded Joe’s or, as the locals called it, Joe’s.
It proved the perfect social setting-watering hole, a gourmet coffeehouse by day morphing into an energetic cocktail and live entertainment lounge by night. A glance at the digital display on his dashboard clock told him that they arrived right on time to party hard as the morning crowd began shambling out to make room for the evening natives swinging in. A small crowd of twenty- and thirty-somethings already gathered outside on the deck.
Jess turned off the ignition, disengaged his seatbelt and turned to Tamara. “Truthfully?”
“Yes, truthfully.”
“Okay, you asked for it. I tried to be nice and not embarrass you, but since you insist on knowing why I was smil—”
“Just tell me!”
“I remembered the expression on your face when I caught you looking at my butt.”
“I, uh…I wasn’t looking at your butt.”
He just raised a brow and stared at her.
Tamara threw up her hands in surrender. “Okay, I looked at your butt!”
They stared at each other for a long moment before finally bursting out laughing. They laughed so hard and long that by the time they finished, Jess’s stomach muscles ached.
Catching his breath, he watched as Tamara wiped tears from her eyes and grinned at him.
He grinned back, staring into her gently slanted onyx eyes, so dark and shiny that they looked like polished jewels. He reached out to cup her face, moving his thumb in a caressing, circular motion over her high, pronounced cheekbone, transfixed by the softness of her skin, as soft and silky as it looked.
Jess bent his head, tilting it to the left as Tamara leaned forward and tilted her head to the right, meeting his lips and sealing them with hers.
He closed his eyes and groaned deep in his throat at the honeyed taste of her, sliding his hand to the back of her neck to collar her nape and draw her closer. He slid his tongue along the smooth surface of her teeth before dipping into her mouth, first experimentally, then driving his tongue against hers to taste her more fully.
Jess pictured her sitting on one of the comfortable burnt orange and cream sofas inside. He could see her beneath the dim lights of the lounge and amidst the sounds of the live band and DJ Hal warming up. He realized he didn’t want to share her with anyone—not with strangers, not with family, not now, maybe never. He just got used to having her to himself, and he really didn’t even have this, especially not once she found out he’d lied to her.
He pulled back, panting as he watched her kiss-swollen, slightly parted lips and closed eyes. Jess cupped her face just as she opened her eyes to look at him.
“Why did you stop?”
“Because I would have had you laid out on the backseat in another minute.”
“Did you hear me complaining?”
“Maybe not yet.”
“Trust me. I’ll let you know if I don’t like what you’re doing to me.”
“I’ll bet you would, Ms. Confident and Sure City Girl.”
“You have something against confident and sure city girls?”
Jess looked at the fist she automatically planted on her hip as she jutted her chin at him and grinned. “Don’t get your feathers all ruffled. I just made an observation. And, for the record, I have nothing against confident and sure city girls.” I don’t have a thing against them except when they leave and go back to the city.
“And, just to add to the record, I’m a city woman.”
He nodded and doffed his hat with the appropriate amount of gravity and respect. “Won’t make that mistake again, ma’am.”
She chuckled and elbowed him in the ribs. “You are such a wiseass.”
He laughed, got out of his truck and engaged the automatic locks on the doors once Tamara exited on her side.
It amazed him how easily they had fallen into joking with and teasing each other. He couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed so much with anyone. He thought Jax would be proud of him.
Jax.
What would he do about his brother? He knew Jax would be all over Tamara once they got back to the ranch. His brother wouldn’t be able to help himself. She traveled right up his alley, but then again, anything with breasts and a vagina traveled up his brother’s alley. Jax wouldn’t let a li
ttle thing like a nine-year age gap overly concern him or get in his way of flirting with Tamara. He wasn’t Jess, didn’t have the same sense of propriety or responsibility that prevented Jess from jumping in and out of bed with any available female.
He admitted to himself, however, that he did more than flirt with Tamara. He wanted to do much more than flirt with her too. Today’s reunion was eighteen years in the making, something he’d been looking forward to since before she left, since before he knew what flirting entailed. And he wasn’t opposed to jumping into bed with Tamara.
Jess jogged behind her now and caught up with her at the front door to Joe’s. “Allow me.” He reached around her to pull open the door.
Tamara glanced back at him with a smile then stepped through the door.
The interior looked cozy but spacious. Ambient, muted light reflected off of the red walls and rich wood and earth tone furnishings and set an intimate mood. The place suited his frame of mind, intensifying his need to be near Tamara.
Several people already out on the floor danced and several people reclined on the various, overstuffed sofas scattered throughout the floor.
“It feels like I’m in someone’s living room,” Tamara whispered as Jess stood beside her just on the threshold of the main floor.
“Funny you should say that since Joe’s slogan is Your home away from home.” He slid an arm around her waist and drew her farther into the lounge.
She turned to look at him. “Is Joe a real person?”
“Joe is actually Kent Biedel from Seattle.”
“You know him personally?”
“Sure, we go way back,” he teased. “Seriously though, that’s what he envisioned when he created Joe’s—a community meeting place and a hot spot where everybody knows everybody else’s name, kind of like a Cheers of the West.”
“You’re Joe’s public relations man?” She grinned and slid her arm around his waist as Jess steered them toward a cluster of couches sandwiched between one of the bars and the pool table.
“I’m just one of many locals who like hanging out here.” Jess guided her to a seat, took off his hat and parked it snug on Tamara’s head. “What do you want from the bar?”