by Gigi Moore
How could she expect him to see the folly of what they did? She had to be the strong one, the logical one.
“I’m thinking Maria came up to let us know breakfast is ready or would be soon.” The scents wafting up to her from the kitchen confirmed this.
“You’re not getting off the hook that easily.”
“What? I’m hungry.” As if to confirm the point, her stomach growled.
“We still need to talk.”
“About?”
“About us—you, me and Jess.”
Just what she needed, another confrontation and discussion to look forward to in addition to the one she needed to have with her father—a complicated confrontation and discussion. “Can we just eat first? I’m not ready to handle this on an empty stomach.”
“Just as long as you know we need to talk.”
“Fine. We need to talk.” Like that would be all they would be doing. She knew as well as Jax did that, as soon as they got alone together again, talking would be the furthest thing from their minds. She had been avoiding them for as long as she had for exactly this reason.
Jax stood and draped his arms over her shoulders in an affable manner that totally belied the intensity of his stare.
Damn, she’d barely been back two weeks, and she already found herself neck deep in a threesome and hadn’t even begun to smooth things over with her father.
I’m involved in a threesome.
When she thought about it, the situation didn’t even seem real, certainly didn’t seem like something in which she, a respectable New York attorney, would be involved.
Jax bent his head to give her a brief, hard kiss on the lips, sliding his hands down her body to grasp her ass before releasing her.
When he pulled away, his eyes seemed such a crystal clear blue, they froze her. “I’ll see you downstairs at breakfast then,” he whispered.
Breathless, Tamara watched him leave, taking yet another piece of her with him that had nothing at all to do with sex and physical satisfaction and everything to do with passion and love.
Damn.
* * * *
Jax tried to convince himself the incident at the stream had been an aberration, that he hadn’t had sex with the same woman, at the same time, as his brother. But he couldn’t accomplish it. First, it would be a lie. Last week hadn’t been an aberration or a one-shot-deal, especially not when he wanted to repeat the act so bad he could taste it. Second, it hadn’t been just sex, and that more than anything else he had done with Tamara and his brother, scared the holy crap out of him. They had made love more than a week ago—love not just had sex. He felt it in every fiber of his being, had never felt this way before after sex with a woman—so attached, needy and possessive.
Strangely, he didn’t think the sex would have been as good, as emotionally involving, as it had been had his brother not played a part. Watching Tamara please Jess, watching them together had been half the enjoyment for Jax, and had made him come as forcefully as he had.
It made him wonder why the thought of sharing a woman with his brother had never occurred to him before. But then nothing that had happened at the stream had been premeditated. He hadn’t known his brother would show up, and he certainly hadn’t expected that Tamara would be up for a sexual encounter, though he’d hoped and been prepared, just in case, thanks to his Boy Scout training.
Jax forked a hand through his hair and practically jumped out of his skin when Jess walked up on him a second later.
“Your hair looks like you stuck your finger in an electrical socket. What’s got you all ruffled?” Jess slapped him on the back, tone bright and jovial.
Up until several minutes ago, Jax had been just as jovial, ready and willing to conquer the world. He’d been prepared to see Tamara and prove to himself that what he had felt at the stream was a passing fancy, but he knew now that this was the furthest thing from the truth.
Jax turned to his brother and grabbed him by an arm.
“What the—?” Jess let Jax lead him back to his bedroom down the hall, push him inside and close the door.
“Before we go down to breakfast, I need to talk to you.”
Jess arched a brow. “I suppose that’s fair, seeing as how we haven’t really had an opportunity to talk since...”
“We’ve had plenty of opportunities. We just haven’t used them. We’ve been avoiding the issue and each other, just like Tamara.”
“I suppose.”
“You suppose?” Jax frowned. “Why are you acting so calm?”
“Why shouldn’t I?”
“More than a week ago you almost cleaned my plow when you saw Tamara and me together, and today you’re all Buddha serene. What gives?”
“I’ve had some time to come to my senses.” Jess paused, looking thoughtful before he added, “I should be asking you what’s chafing your hide.”
Jax released a long sigh and stared at his brother without saying a word. After a long moment, Jess finally threw up his hands and paced across the room.
“Okay, fine. I admit it upset me when I first saw you two together.”
“That’s putting it mildly.” Jax rubbed his jaw where Jess had slugged him. It still felt a little tender to the touch, and up until a few days ago, there had been a slight bruise just visible between his jaw and chin. Either it hadn’t been noticeable enough to cause alarm or it had been noticeable and Maria and Pop had been discreet in not mentioning it so far. But after this morning with Maria catching him and Tamara together, he didn’t think either of them would keep silent for much longer.
“Look, Jax, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hit you at the stream, and I’ve been meaning to apologize to you for a while now. Just never found the right time.”
“I wasn’t fishing for an apology.”
“You still deserve one. I shouldn’t have taken my frustrations out on you.”
“I had it coming.”
Jess chuckled and closed the space between them to fling an arm around Jax’s shoulder. “Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t. It just wasn’t my right to dole out your punishment.”
He didn’t like having Jess angry or upset with him, never had. And it seemed everything he did, especially the way he led his life, upset either his brother or Pop.
How upset would they be when they found out what he did with his free time away from the ranch? How upset would they be that he got ranch hands to cover for his mysterious days off and absences? Jax didn’t even want to think about it.
“So, did you see Tamara this morning?” Jess asked.
“Why do you ask?”
“Guess that’s my answer.”
Jax felt the coolness enter his brother’s tone, but he still didn’t seem particularly angry. He guessed that boded well for their relationship. “You might as well know we kind of got into it right before Maria walked in on us a little while ago.”
Jess just shook his head and laughed.
“I don’t see what’s so funny.”
“Well, it’s not like we could keep something like what happened at the stream a secret forever, not around here.”
“I wanted to. At least until the three of us decide what that day meant to us and what we’re going to do about it.”
“Interesting point.”
Jax raised his eyebrows. “Well?”
“You’re asking for my opinion?”
“I’d like it.”
“What did Tamara say?”
“She seemed a little evasive.” More like a lot evasive. She’d looked trapped when he’d said they needed to talk—trapped and terrified.
“I can see that.”
“We can’t just run away from what happened.”
“And I didn’t say we would.” Jess rubbed his chin with his thumb and forefinger. “The thing is I think Tamara’s a little skittish about more than just our threesome.”
“Our age?”
Jess nodded. “And maybe our race and who knows what other kind of excuses she can come up with
or demons she’s running away from back in New York. I got the feeling she’s had some recent bad breaks in the relationship department.”
He did not want to hook up with a woman on the rebound. He probably could vouch for Jess on this too. “We need to find out for sure.”
“Are you going to ask her?”
Yeah, like that would happen. It wasn’t like Jax excelled at communicating and his interpersonal skills when it came to women, he’d been told, started and stopped at the bedroom door. But somebody needed to bring up the issue. Not to mention the fact that Tamara wasn’t here to stay. That part of their little conundrum just got swept under the rug what with all the other excitement going on. And at that moment, Jax couldn’t even imagine her leaving him and Jess again—probably a big mistake on his part.
Damn, they weren’t two whole weeks into this relationship, and he already fell under romantic and unrealistic delusions of longevity.
This thing between them all was moving forward full speed ahead whether any of them liked it or not, and Jax wanted to try and keep them from crashing headlong into heartache and disappointment if he could help it. He had enough of each in his life already.
“We’re going to have to talk to her eventually. We can’t avoid this,” Jax said. For the first time in his life, he experienced a little bit of what it must feel like to be Jess. Jess always seemed so serious, so reliable, so responsible, driven by the need to take the weight of the world on his shoulders, or at least the weight of their immediate world on his shoulders.
“We won’t avoid this, not anymore.” Jess gave him a reassuring smile that strangely did the job all his own talking-to hadn’t been able to do. “We’ll sit down with her together and get this all out in the open.”
Jax felt better knowing they’d have each other’s back because he had a feeling going up against Tamara the legal eagle he and Jess would need all the support they could get.
Chapter 17
Jess looked at Maria at the stove scrambling eggs. She had her profile to him, but he could just make out a flush of color creeping up her neck to her cheeks and wondered just how far Jax and Tamara had gone by the time the housekeeper had walked in on them.
Jealousy flared in his chest, but more at the thought that Jax had been with Tamara alone, and he hadn’t been there to share her with his brother rather than the fact that Jax had been with her at all.
Getting a hold of his emotions as they involved Tamara proved difficult enough. Adding how he felt about his brother and Tamara together just royally balled him up to a point where Jess wondered if he shouldn’t just take a cue from Carson and Sam and stay to himself.
He watched the brothers around the ranch, how they interacted with the other staff and visitors, or rather how they avoided interacting. They did what they had to do to get the job done, did what their employers asked them to, for sure, but they didn’t socialize more than they had to. And unlike the other cowboys who basked in the romantic vigorous attentions that female staff and visitors of the ranch frequently showed them, neither sibling showed any interest in hooking up with any one woman, much less several. He wondered if they might be gay, but didn’t see any evidence of this either. Clearly, Carson and Sam seemed to prefer each other’s company as opposed to outsiders.
Jess might have thought them at least fraternal twins if he didn’t know that Carson had Sam by a couple of years.
Presently, he took a seat at the island behind Maria. “Morning, Maria.”
She barely mumbled a greeting, averting her gaze as she doled the eggs onto a serving platter that she brought to and set on the island before Jess—definitely not her usual bright and bubbly self.
Jax came into the kitchen, walked right up to her, wrapped an arm around her shoulders and bent his head to kiss her on the cheek. “Buenos dias, Maria!”
“Ay, you.” She giggled and slapped at his chest with a dish towel as she pushed him away so that she could finish preparing breakfast.
Leave it to Jax to work his charm and not give the woman a chance to be embarrassed, at least not for too long.
Jess hoped he’d managed to work some of that charm on Tamara and wondered what he would say to her once he saw her.
They hadn’t spoken since they’d gotten back from the stream, not about anything significant, and he’d gone to bed every night since confused and with his empty arms aching to hold her. That Tamara remained at the root of his confusion didn’t deter him from wanting to see her. Illogically, he felt like seeing her would clear up the confusion rather than contribute to it more.
Jax took a seat beside Jess and helped himself to a steaming portion of the eggs, several strips of bacon and a stack of Maria’s famous light and fluffy flapjacks that gave the range cook flap jacks a run for his money. As far as coosies went, Garfield did pretty darn well satisfying the guests’ palates .
“Where’s Pop?” Jax asked as he poured a generous amount of syrup over his stack.
Jess shook his head and smiled. He didn’t think little kids could beat Jax for his sweet tooth.
“He had breakfast earlier. Said he would go fishing at the pond and maybe go visiting after that,” Maria said as she took a seat opposite Jess and Jax and sipped from her cup of coffee.
Go visiting could have meant anything, but Jess had a pretty good idea that their dad went over to Bailey’s to stir up some trouble more than likely. Although he probably wouldn’t see it that way at all even if he’d caused the recent upheaval at the ranch.
He didn’t like thinking of Tamara as an upheaval, but couldn’t think of another way to describe the state of affairs at the ranch since she had arrived. Everyone walked around the house on pins and needles, and Jeremiah and Bailey acted more cantankerous than usual. Not to mention the two’s secretiveness of late had only gotten worse since Tamara’s arrival almost two weeks ago, and Jess wondered what that was all about.
Did Maria know what went on? Being the housekeeper and naturally low-key, she tended to blend into the background, the eyes and ears to the household grapevine, though she refrained from gossiping. Maybe she had overheard a few discussions between the men that would give Jess or Jax an idea of what went on.
He knew his father wasn’t completely happy with all the changes and expansions that Jess had masterminded at the ranch, but he didn’t think the old man would take any kind of drastic steps like selling the place without consulting him and Jax.
But Jess knew something went on between the two codgers.
“Will Senorita Tamara be coming down for breakfast this morning?” Maria asked, her voice quiet. She avoided their glances and released a little gasp of surprise when Tamara swept into the room dressed in a pair of blue jeans and an off-white western shirt.
She immediately went to Maria and bent at the waist to peck the older woman’s cheek. “I told you when I arrived you could call me Tamara, Maria. Nothing’s changed, has it?”
“N-no Sen…Tamara.”
Jess watched Maria’s lips curve into a little smile and thought about the bewitching effect Tamara had on everyone—except for her stubborn father, Bailey.
“Good.” Tamara gave Maria’s shoulder a gentle squeeze then went to stand between him and Jax, draping an arm over each of their shoulders before giving each of them a sound peck on the cheek. “How’s everybody this morning?”
Jess looked at her and noticed his brother mirroring his action just as Bailey struggled through the back door.
All gazes automatically darted to the door to see him haltingly make his way across the floor to the island on his crutches. He settled himself onto the high chair beside Maria, resting his crutches on the island on his other side.
“Where’s Jeremiah?”
“Good morning to you too,” Tamara said.
Bailey spared her half-hearted greeting that came out more like a growl.
“We thought you were together,” Jess said.
Bailey frowned. “Why would we be together?”
Jess just shrugged, now more than ever convinced that the two men harbored some secret that he, Jax and Tamara probably should have been privy to.
More and more, Jess wondered about the accident that had broken Bailey’s leg. Neither man had ever explained to his satisfaction how it had happened. He wondered how Jax felt about it and whether or not Bailey had shared anymore with Tamara than he had with them.
Had she come out so quickly because she knew something he and Jax didn’t? After all, she hadn’t visited the ranch since her departure almost twenty years ago—not when Jax had fractured his knee playing football and not for anything else of importance involving him or Jess. But then Bailey was her father, and he was getting up there in years. Maybe she thought now would be her best excuse, her last chance to reconcile with him. God knows the silence between them had gone on long enough.
Jess didn’t think he could pull it off. No matter how angry he got with his dad and Jax, and they had had some pretty heated arguments over the years, he still couldn’t see not speaking to the old man or his brother for so long, and he considered himself just as proud as the next guy.
Jax said diplomacy prevented Jess from holding a grudge. Maybe if this wasn’t true, and the ranch hadn’t always been his passion he would have left long ago, just like Tamara, and never looked back—maybe. Jess just couldn’t see it though, not the way he felt about family ties, not the way he still missed his and Jax’s mom.
He glanced at Tamara, who stood between him and his brother, and wondered if she missed her mother as much as he missed his. She talked a good game after all, playing it tough and untouchable, but Jasmine’s abandonment had to hurt her on some level. At least he had had Tamara in his life to mitigate the absence of a female influence. But who had Tamara had to ease the effects of Jasmine’s departure?