by Nina Crespo
She didn’t have to censor herself with him; she could just be. She didn’t have to make him fit into her life with her family; he just did. She didn’t have to explain herself to him; he just understood. And more importantly, she didn’t have to make herself happy with Grey; she just was whenever she was around him.
Cori took another sip of wine. Sometimes, it felt so right between them, it was as if he’d never left—as if her time with Kevin had been some weird bad dream. Grey had always been her reality. But that would mean she’d never stopped loving him, wouldn’t it?
…
Exhausted from the day, Grey stretched out under the covers of the king-sized bed in his apartment. The latest details for the life celebration event rolled through his mind. The venue had been switched that morning because the promoter had oversold the event. It didn’t impact his part of organizing things—the DJs he’d contacted were still donating their time. The only big change for him was a performance in front of a larger crowd—something he hadn’t planned on. But he also hadn’t planned on returning to the grief support group.
After a meeting at Breakers three days ago to discuss the event, he’d discovered Sofia crying uncontrollably in her car in the parking lot. Cleaning Liam’s apartment alone, helping with Liam’s memorial…it had finally taken its toll. When she’d composed herself, he’d asked if she’d like the information for the support group he’d attended in town. Just because it hadn’t worked for him, that didn’t mean that it wouldn’t be good for her.
She’d been shy about going on her own, and he’d accompanied her, sitting in the back of the room for moral support.
But when a guy in the group had mentioned how he struggled with “what if” and “should have” questions about not spotting his friend’s problem, he’d understood exactly where the guy was coming from.
A conversation opened up with the group about how the “what ifs” and “should haves” weighed on people, dragging them down like an anchor, making them feel like they’d somehow failed. The group had also talked about how having those questions were a part of the grieving process. And the importance of understanding what wasn’t in their control—the free will of their loved ones when they were alive—as well as not knowing the answers to those questions now that they were gone. Acknowledging that was a huge part of the healing process, and it was one way to break free from the vicious circle of guilt.
Innately, he’d known that, but for some reason, this time, when he’d heard it, it had resonated as the truth.
He hadn’t told Cori yet. When she’d called the other night, he’d been walking into the support meeting with Sofia. They hadn’t spoken since then but had just sent texts to each other. He’d been busy. But he wasn’t now.
Grey picked up his phone from the bedside table. It was ten thirty p.m. her time. Was she up?
In the midst of texting her to see if she was awake, he changed his mind and called her.
She picked up on the second ring. “Hey, Grey.”
“Hey, beautiful. How are you?”
“Even better now than I’m talking to you. Hold on a sec.” Her voice grew muffled. “Are you sure you don’t want some tea?”
Someone on her end responded, but he couldn’t make out the voice. Who was with her?
“All right,” Cori said to the person. “Let me know if you need anything. Good night.” Her voice unmuffled. “I’m back. Alexa’s spending the night with me. She’s had an awful day.”
“Alexa…that’s your friend who’s moving to Seattle, right?” Grey sat up and propped the pillow behind his back. “What’s going on?”
“Well, she’s not moving to Seattle anymore. Yay on that, but on the other hand, she’s having guy trouble.”
Cori filled him in on problems between Alexa’s new boyfriend, Rafe, and Alexa’s ex, Brad.
Grey huffed a quiet breath. He could relate to Rafe’s situation. If Kevin ever showed up on Cori’s doorstep spouting nonsense, he wouldn’t like it, either. But he also wouldn’t have fallen for it because he knew Cori. She didn’t want Kevin back.
Cori sighed. “It’s a tough situation, but hopefully Alexa will take the advice Nat and I gave her and not give up on Rafe. But that’s enough about my world. How is everything going with you?”
A confession about attending the group support meeting hovered on the tip of this tongue. No. He was still working through the things he’d connected with at the meeting. It was a lot for him to take in. And after helping her friend, Cori didn’t need his baggage on her mind, too.
“Things are falling into place. But we had to change the venue because the promoter oversold the tickets.”
“Wow. I guess having too many people is a good problem to have. Is the new location as cool as the club?”
“Actually, it’s a step up. I’ve played there a couple of times. It’s a converted warehouse space in Austin that regularly hosts music events. It’s got a bigger stage and a better sound system. And we can sell a few more tickets.”
“How are you feeling about playing there?” Cori’s tone grew softer and held hints of concern.
He filled in what she wasn’t asking—was he still planning to do a pre-recorded set.
Going that route at Breakers for the celebration had been an easier decision, but doing his last set, probably forever, on a much bigger stage, in front of a larger crowd and not freestyling like he used to… Indecision pushed in on Grey, forcing him to let out a long exhale. “I’m good with it.”
“I know you’re going to do great. I wish I could be there.”
A sudden ache of pure loneliness opened up in Grey’s chest. Seeing Cori’s face in the crowd and knowing he’d see her after his set had always made him perform better. Needing a topic switch, he said, “My father’s assistant called. He wants me in New York the Monday after next to talk about a new liaison position he’s creating for me.”
“Really? Do you know what you’ll be doing?”
“Lots of observation, at first. I’m supposed to provide a boots-on-the-ground perspective to the top level executives.”
“Sounds interesting.”
Maybe it was for someone who liked chasing paperwork 24/7. But this was his future. It was time to adjust and get on board. “Yeah, I’m sure it will be real interesting. I’m looking forward to it.”
A couple of hours after the call, Grey lay in bed, the prospect of his future behind a desk at Latham Reeves keeping him awake. The job did have one advantage—a better shot of getting back with Cori.
A casual relationship had made sense when she’d first mentioned it, but since they’d straightened out what had really happened six years ago, and he’d told her about Liam, something had shifted. They had a bond that he hadn’t realized, until he was now back in Austin, existed between them. It felt even stronger than the one they’d shared years ago. Cori had to feel it, too. But she might need convincing to leap into a relationship with him.
Plans floated through his mind as Grey drifted off to sleep. He’d spoil her with shopping sprees, spa days, and more trips to the beach. He’d make sure that Cori knew how special she was to him, that she was his queen, and he was there to support her in reaching her goals and dreams…or to recapture the ones she’d left behind.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Cori pulled off the white cropped tee she’d just put on and tossed it on her bed next to her open laptop.
Grey was video calling in about ten minutes. Actually, he’d asked her to stay free between ten and eleven that night. He wanted to talk to her before he performed his set at Liam’s celebration of life event.
She hurried to her closet, removed a purple blouse from the hanger, and slipped it on.
No doubt, he was busy. That’s probably why he’d asked her to be flexible with the time.
In the bathroom, putting on makeup, her hands shook as nervous b
utterflies swarmed in her stomach for Grey, imagining him handling last-minute details at the event…and mentally preparing for his set. Was he worried about tonight? Was he ready to perform?
As Cori swiped plum-colored tint on her lips, her phone and laptop rang simultaneously. She rushed back into the bedroom and answered from her laptop sitting on the bed.
Grey’s face appeared on screen. He smiled. “Hey, beautiful. How are you?”
Hey, beautiful. That greeting had become their thing lately. Smiling back, she situated herself in the middle of the bed and positioned the laptop on her legs that were crossed and tucked under her. “Good. But I’m even better now.”
“Me, too.” From the orange lanyard hanging down the front of his dark crew neck, and the people and noise in the background, he was at the venue.
She adjusted the position of her screen to reduce the glare. “Where are you?”
“The green room.” He looked away from her for a second and grinned at someone. “Hey, man. Hell yeah, I’m ready. You ready? I’m talking to my girl, Cori.”
Girl as in friend or did he mean girlfriend? Both possibilities caused her heart to flip-flop a little harder in her chest.
The screen shifted to the face of a brown-skinned guy with a shaved head. He grinned. “Hey, Cori! What up?”
“Hi.” She smiled and waved.
Before the view shifted back to Grey, more people greeted him. From the look on his face, he was having a good time.
Happiness for him welled inside of her. “How long before your set starts?”
“A few minutes.” He started walking down what looked like a corridor.
She’d have to say good-bye to him soon. Pushing aside disappointment, she gave him a big smile. “Have fun out there.”
“Why are you in such a hurry? I thought you were hanging out with me?”
“I am, until you go on stage.”
He stopped walking. “Do you remember what we used to do when I was away, and I called you from the club?”
Send kisses to each other over the phone? Well, there was that time when things had gotten freaky between them, but he’d been in a private dressing room. “Um—what?”
“I used to take you on stage with me so you could hear the music. I’ve got a holder set up near the equipment for my phone so you can hear and see everything.”
“Seriously?” Excitement bubbled through her.
“Do you want to see me or the crowd?”
Did he really have to ask? “You.”
In the background, someone called his name.
He looked to her. “I’m up!”
A steady synthesized bass and percussion beat came through the speakers on her laptop.
The image of him grew unsteady as he ran on the stage at the front of the space that was high above the crowd. Once he got behind the DJ deck, green lights flashed around him as the crowd cheered. The phone steadied as he fit it into the holder with the camera on him and put on his headphones.
His hands started moving over the DJ deck, manipulating music and sound effects so good, they raised goose bumps.
Before her eyes, he transformed into DJ Grey, mastering the music, controlling the element.
But wait…was he? Grey was freestyling his set!
Pride for the man she loved and the beat of the music reverberated through her. Unable to control herself, Cori stood up on the mattress and danced.
…
Nearing the end of his forty-five-minute-long set, Grey remained in the zone—that intense, sweetly addictive space where he, the music, and the crowd became one. He was feeling them, and they were feeling him right back. Movements borne from skill and practice guided his hands as they moved quickly and seamlessly from the round CDJs on the outside of the board to the levers for mixing, filters, and volume control.
From the way the crowd jumped, cheered, and waved and pumped their hands to the music, they were all still on the same wavelength. Now it was his job to end his set on a sonic level that would take them down a bit, but not kill the mood for the next DJ.
Grey took his headphones from around his neck and put them on. The next track he chose, one with a combined reggaetón and trap beat, was in the perfect range and kept the crowd pumped and ready for more. Then he started beat matching in the song playing in his ears to the one pumping through the speakers on stage.
Each of the DJs that had performed had incorporated one part of Liam’s original mixes into their set. He’d saved this one, the best one, the one that had made him sit up and listen that day, for last. He, Sofia, and Fallon had decided to simply title it “Liam’s Song.” It had gone up as a single, ready for download. The rest of Liam’s music would come along later, with “Liam’s Song” as part of the album.
Once the beats per minute matched, he cued it up and dropped “Liam’s Song” in.
BOOM! Just like he’d anticipated, the crowd went wild.
Adrenaline buzzed through him in a surge of exhilaration, wiping away fatigue as he moved with them. He glanced at the big screen on the far left above the end of the stage and saw the video that he’d watched a couple of weeks earlier in Damien’s apartment of Liam deejaying.
Grey breathed against the heaviness in his chest. Liam would have loved this birthday celebration. Mainly because everyone was celebrating with him.
In the video, Liam flashed his fuck-yeah smile.
Grey took in the happiness, and his chest grew lighter. It was time to let the guilt over Liam go and let his music live. Good-bye, Liam. We got this. Rest in power…
Toward the end of his set, the next DJ came up. After a fist bump with the DJ, Grey turned over the deck, picked up his phone, and walked off.
On screen, Cori sat on the bed with a huge smile on her face, swiping tears from her cheeks. She was saying something that he couldn’t hear over the noise of the crowd.
One of the backstage workers handed Grey a towel. As he wiped his face and neck, his hands shook a little, and his heart pounded in his ears. He’d gotten through it.
As he moved further down the corridor, he could finally hear Cori’s voice.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were going to do a live set instead of pre-recording?”
“I wanted to surprise you.”
That morning when he woke up, he’d realized that if he was taking Cori with him on stage for the last time, he wanted to give her a show. A real show. Luckily, he’d been practicing his freestyling technique since he’d got to Austin.
“It was amazing! You were amazing! I’m so proud of you.”
A bit of his own humble pride swelled inside of him, as well as a gratefulness that she was back in his life. He’d been on stage for the crowd, but she’d been his audience. If only he could hold her right now, he’d show her how much he appreciated her. How much he needed her in his life…for the long term.
“I don’t want casual.”
Cori’s smile faltered a little. “What?”
He hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but now that it was out in the open, he was going for it. Grey stepped into a service hallway where it was quieter. “I don’t want things to be casual between us. We have something special, Cori. I—” Love you. He swallowed the words. “I know you feel it, too.”
She looked down from the screen as silence stretched between them.
Fuck. He should have kept his shit together and told her all of this when he got back to Maryland day after tomorrow.
Just before Grey gave up all hope, Cori raised her head. From the soft look in her eyes, he could tell that she knew they had something special, too.
Relief surged through him. “You don’t have to give me your answer now about being in a relationship. But if you do say yes, we can take things as slow as you need to. I’m not going anywhere.” He kissed his fingers and briefly pressed them to
the screen over the image of her lips. “I miss you.”
Her lips trembled a little as she sent him a kiss back. “I miss you, too. Bye.” Then Cori ended the call.
As Grey walked out of the service hallway, he released the air that had remained highjacked in his lungs during the call.
Just before he reached the main corridor, his phone chimed with a text.
It was Cori.
Cori: Yes.
A buzz more powerful than the ones he’d felt after a successful performance practically lifted him off the floor and carried him back into the semi-crowded main corridor.
She’d said yes! Time couldn’t go by fast enough until he could see her again on Saturday. They had a lot to talk about.
“Grey Latham…”
Someone called to him from behind, and he turned to see who it was.
A tall, middle-aged guy with fair skin and unruly dark hair approached him. His vintage Rolling Stones T-shirt and jeans draped loosely over his thin frame. As he got closer, he smiled and held out his hand. “Hi, I’m Angus Walker. Great set.”
Why did he know that name? “Thanks.” Grey shook his hand.
“I know you just finished performing, but…” Angus handed Grey a business card. “Can we talk?”
Chapter Twenty-Three
At two in the morning, Grey stood in the shower at his apartment. Head bowed, hands on the wall, he stared at the water rushing down his legs and feet and over the beige tiles.
Liam’s celebration of life had exhilarated him, drained him, and lifted most of the weight from the past off his shoulders. Cori’s yes had given him a reason to look forward. But his talk with Angus had fully uncovered what he’d thought he’d handled. Doubt.
Angus was a booking agent with the Walker Talent Agency. Based in Los Angeles, he’d been in Texas to meet with the promotors of the SXSW Music Festival. When he’d heard about the life celebration, he’d decided to swing by the venue.