by Meghan March
She wanted this—them—so badly she couldn’t hide it any longer. And now that they’d both had their lips on hers? The longing for what could be cut through her on a visceral level. Her carefully constructed defenses were more than down; they lay crumbled at her feet.
“You want to talk?” she asked, dumbly repeating what Cam had just said.
His booted feet thudded on the wide-planked wood floor of the mess hall kitchen until the heat from his body radiated against her back. His palms landed on the counter on either side of her.
“Yeah, sweetheart. We have a hell of a lot to talk about.” The words, and the breath that carried them, fluttered the hairs next to her ear.
Lia’s nipples puckered against the tank top she wore—no bra, because women’s undergarments were one of the few items the men of Castle Creek had failed to have the foresight to stock. But she was lucky enough that she didn’t really need to wear one. Though, the man standing over her shoulder could easily tell the effect he was having on her body.
“I was afraid you said everything you had to say yesterday,” Lia replied, the words coming out more like a question than a statement. But at least her voice didn’t shake, so that was something.
“Sweetheart, that was just the beginning of the conversation. There’s a lot more to talk about. So you finish up with what you’re doing, and we’ll be waiting.”
He made it sound so simple. Like they would just talk it out, and yesterday hadn’t been completely humiliating for her… Wait, did he say we’ll be waiting?
Cam stepped back, and Lia found the courage to glance over her shoulder at him. His black T-shirt stretched across his wide chest. “We?”
His eyes dropped to her chest for a beat before coming back up to her face. Well, no need to ask if he’d noticed the high beams. “I’ll round up Travis. Seems like we need all three of us if we’re going to discuss this.”
Lia wrung her flour-covered hands in front of her body. “Where?”
His answer was the equivalent to a dare: “Our turf this time. Can you handle that?”
She schooled her expression to give nothing away, including how many times she’d thought about what could happen behind the closed doors of the cabin Cam and Travis shared. She swallowed hard. “Fine with me.”
A chin jerk, and he was gone.
Admitting that he had no fucking clue what he was doing wasn’t Cam’s strong suit. He’d always prided himself on being prepared with multiple contingency plans if shit went sideways. But this … this, he didn’t even have a Plan A to go with, let alone his normal backups.
Share the woman you were hung up on with your buddy because she wanted you both. No, he didn’t know what the fuck to do about that—but he absolutely wasn’t walking away.
Still, the fact that this was what Lia wanted stunned him. Fuck stunned, it amazed him. She’d been through hell, regardless of what she actually remembered, and the fact that she wanted any man, let alone two men, was a testament to her strength and resilience. Is this what it would take to make her feel safe and secure?
Uncrossing his arms, he paced the cabin, only stopping when the screen door creaked open. Cam swung around, expecting to see—hoping to see—Lia at the door. But it was Travis.
He shoved down the disappointment, because actually, this was for the best. They needed to work shit out between them first, and they hadn’t had the opportunity to do it.
“So, you got a plan here?” Cam asked, re-crossing his arms over his chest and studying his best friend. He dropped his arms to the side, almost as soon as he crossed them. He needed to get his head out of his ass and a defensive posture wasn’t helping.
Travis cocked an eyebrow. “You’re always the one with the plan. Thought you’d have this one worked out already.”
Cam huffed out a laugh … or at least he was shooting for a laugh, but it came out sounding a lot more like a grunt. “No plan this time. Flying blind here.”
“A conversation this important, and you’ve got nothing? That isn’t like you.”
Travis’s easy acceptance floored him.
“What do you expect me to say? Yeah, it’s totally cool that the woman I’ve been falling for since I carried her out of hell doesn’t just want me, but she also wants my best friend.”
Travis studied him. “We need to be on the same page before she gets here, so I suggest you tell me right now which way you’re gonna go.”
It was now or never. Nut up or shut up.
Cam squared his shoulders and met his best friend’s gaze. “I’m in. I’ve got no clue how this is gonna go down, and if it all falls apart, I’ll damn sure be the one picking up the pieces. But if this is what Lia wants, there’s no way in fuck I’m gonna tell her ‘no’ if you’re on board too.”
Travis held out his hand, elbow crooked, palm up. Cam stepped forward and clasped it.
“Okay then,” Travis replied. “And if shit falls apart, we deal with it. Together.”
“Agreed. As long as she comes first in every decision we make, I don’t think we can fuck this up too bad.”
“Friends no matter what?” Travis asked.
“No matter what,” Cam repeated. They released each other and Cam settled onto the couch to wait. Travis dropped into his favorite recliner. They didn’t have to wait long.
Lia slowly crossed the compound toward Travis and Cam’s cabin, eyes alert—like someone might come running out of the shadows with a chainsaw. The creepy thought pulled her back to the rundown camp of the men who’d taken her prisoner three days after the world had gone dark. She’d lived alone, in a little rental cottage at the end of a wooded road. She’d been so proud of her place, because she’d worked her ass off to save enough to get one on a lake. Cosmetology hadn’t proven to be a crazy lucrative career, but she’d made enough to keep herself happy and moving out of the apartment on a busy main road had been a victory. She’d loved the serenity of the lake, even if the house had been tiny. But that serenity had proven to be her undoing. Three days had taken her through all of the water in her house, and she’d been so damn thirsty that she’d ventured down to the lake, desperate for a drink. It had been a horrible mistake—for two reasons.
First, because she hadn’t been the only one who had known about the lake. Two men in dirty flannel shirts and patched jeans had been a hundred yards from the bank where she’d drank directly from the lake and then filled her bucket. When they’d seen her, they’d started to move in closer. When she’d run, it’d been like firing a starting pistol, because they’d chased her to her front door and broken it down. Her brother had been coming up the drive, walking back from sourcing supplies. He’d gone head-to-head with the rednecks, but unarmed against two men with guns, he’d had no chance. The last thing she remembered was her brother’s dead body, blood pooling from three bullet wounds—the side of his head, his chest, and his shoulder—before she’d dropped to her knees and everything had gone black.
She’d woken up later, throwing up over and over again. For two days she’d heaved until there was nothing left. The best she could figure was bacteria from the lake. She’d been so weak, and the men had been so pissed that she was sick that instead of helping her recover they’d…
Lia shook off the thought as the darkness threatened to creep in. No, she wouldn’t let the darkness win. She wouldn’t think of them. They were dead. Like her brother. Her stomach twisted, and her eyes burned. She’d been so helpless and weak, but no longer. Now she was strong enough to ask for what she wanted. She was ready to quit existing and live.
She squared her shoulders and approached the door.
Can I really do this? Yes. I can and I will. Because she only got one life, and even if it was this crazy end of the world as you know it life, she was going to make the most of it. And making the most of it meant taking what she needed and experiencing something amazing. There had been no guarantees before, and there certainly weren’t any now. So this was Lia McLaren taking life by the balls.
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nbsp; She grabbed the door handle and pushed it open, not bothering to knock. She’d never been in this cabin before, but she was determined to start this crazy thing like she meant to move forward. No more timid Lia—only bold, strong, confident Lia. The girl she had been before, and was determined to be again.
She stepped inside, and the two gorgeous men looked at her. Cam with his dark, curling locks and dark eyes, and Travis with his green eyes and short coppery-brown hair. One serious and brooding, and the other lighthearted and fun. Both incredibly handsome and protective and all of the things she could want in a man. Was it any wonder she wanted them both and couldn’t bear to choose?
Both men rose from their seated position, thoroughly filling the small front room of the cabin with their presence. Both men were big, but Travis was the shorter of the two. Probably about six-two, but his shoulders were every bit as wide as Cam’s. They were both striking. Their work around the compound had kept their bodies in top physical shape.
Equally panty-meltingly gorgeous.
Except in this instance, Lia had opted to skip the panties. Sexy lingerie was non-existent these days … and her ragged cotton ones hadn’t exactly inspired naughty thoughts.
And that action in itself was a declaration: That she wasn’t just coming here to talk. No, she was coming here for action.
“Thank you for coming,” Cam said.
“Of course.”
“You want a seat?” Travis asked, gesturing to the couch that Cam had been sitting on.
“I’m good to stand,” she replied.
A warm hand landed softly on her shoulder. “Sit, sweetheart. We’ve got some major stuff to discuss, so you might as well get comfortable.”
Lia swallowed, her throat drying up like the Sahara. “Umm … okay.” Major stuff to discuss meant that Cam wasn’t shutting this down immediately. It meant … she might actually be getting her wish.
Holy freaking shit.
Lia sank into the comfortable, old couch and laid her hands palm-down on her thighs.
At least she lay one of them down, because Cam also sat, reached out, and laced his fingers through the other hand and pulled it between them.
Lia’s eyes went to his, her brows rising.
“First thing you gotta know, sweetheart, is this is all about you. Nothing goes forward unless you’re on board completely. I know some ideas seem good until you start putting them into practice, so you gotta know that any time you want to call this off, you can.”
The hope and excitement that had been building within Lia fell. “So … you’re already expecting this to fail? Or for me to bail?”
“No,” Travis interrupted. “We’re putting it out there that this only happens if you’re totally comfortable. There’s no point in beating around the bush—you’ve been through hell, and we both know that you’re taking a heck of a leap asking for what you want. Have no doubt that we want to give it to you, but we also want you to know that just because we start this, it doesn’t mean you’re locked in. You can say ‘no’ anytime you want.”
So they were giving her a free pass if she wanted an out. With the panic attacks she’d had every time she’d gotten physically near a man those first few months, that might have been necessary, but not now. Still, this seemed to be important to them to establish, so she would leave it alone.
“Okay. Duly noted. What’s next?” She pointed to her shirt. “You want me to strip?”
Cam squeezed her captive hand. “Slow down, sweetheart. We’re in no hurry. We’ve got all the time we need to ease into this.”
And that’s the problem, Lia thought. She’d been easing into this for months, and had just now finally worked up the courage to ask for what she wanted. If she didn’t make the move, there was no telling how long her courage would last. She refused to let this opportunity pass her by simply because the thread of courage slipped from her fingers.
“I don’t want to take this slow. I’ve been taking things slow since I got here. I’m ready.”
“What if I’m not?” This came from Cam—the man who was always sure of himself and ready for anything.
It hadn’t occurred to her that her readiness didn’t have any bearing on theirs. Was she forcing them into this? Omigod. What if the only reason they’re considering it is out of pity? She thought about Travis’s words. You’ve been through hell. Were they just doing their civic duty by giving the poor, damaged girl what she needed to get herself whole again?
Oh. Hell. No.
Shit. And here was the problem with making the first move. She’d never know if they would’ve ever made one or if she was the only one really feeling this. It wasn’t like there were many other available women within the walls. What if they were just agreeing because she was the only viable option?
Doubts assailed Lia from every angle.
This is a horrible idea.
She stood, bolting from the couch, but her hand was caught fast by the still-seated man.
He tugged her back.
“Lia, what the hell?”
“I … this was a mistake … I’m … I shouldn’t have done this. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
Travis was off his seat and in front of her within seconds.
“Calm down, baby. Let’s just chill. If you’re having second thoughts, we can talk about it.”
“No, not second thoughts. Fifth, sixth, and seventh thoughts. Hell, maybe hundredth thoughts. I didn’t know what I was thinking. That you’d actually be interested. That you’d actually want me. I should never have presumed—”
The grip on her hand tugged her closer, and within moments she was seated on Cam’s lap, his arm curling around her waist to anchor her in place.
“What are you doing?” she demanded. “You said I could go whenever I want. I want—”
“You told us what you wanted, and now you’re getting something in your head that shouldn’t be there. You’re not leaving until we get at least a few things straight—and the first one is, we both want you more than you could ever imagine.” Cam whispered the last words directly into her ear, and the heat of his hand pulsed against her belly.
Travis dropped onto the couch beside Cam and squeezed her other hand. “The one thing that’s absolutely not in doubt in this room is how much we want you.”
“Oh,” the word came out on a breath. “Okay.” Well that was one less thing Lia needed to freak out about. Everything else still loomed large. Like what happened if they went for it and it didn’t work out. Now that she was between them, all the things that could go wrong—and cost her both of them—crashed down.
She struggled to stand, and Cam finally released her and she stumbled to her feet. Travis’s hand on her arm steadied her.
“I—I … maybe I was wrong. Maybe I can’t do this.” God, what a mess.
“Talk to us, baby,” Travis said. “Tell us what’s going through that beautiful head of yours.”
“I can’t lose you both,” she blurted.
She couldn’t find the courage to look at Cam, so she focused on Travis.
“You’re not going to lose us,” he protested. “No matter what happens, at the end of the day, you will always be able to count on both of us.”
“But our friendships? And the two of you—your friendship? What about that? You can’t tell me that if this goes south, I’m not responsible for destroying all of that.”
Cam stood, and his body pressed against Lia’s side.
“You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about this six different ways to Sunday. You’ve weighed it all.”
He was right; she had thought about every contingency, but she’d also somehow whitewashed all of the risks that were involved with sparkles and glittery rainbows. Because that’s what you did with dreams that were far off in the distance: You played up the benefits and played down the sharp edges. She was about to tell them that she needed more time to think, when Travis beat her to it.
“How about we just hang out tonight—as friends? We
play some cards, have a drink, keep it low key. We’ve never really hung out with an eye toward something more. Let’s find our rhythm and see what makes sense for us.”
“Cards?” Lia repeated.
Travis nodded and pulled out the drawer in the coffee table, producing a deck.
Cards. She could do cards. Low key. Low stress. Low freak out. She could do this.
They were being hustled. That was Travis’s only thought as he shucked off his pants and tossed them to the floor.
“Cheers,” Lia laughed, toasting him with her shot of whiskey before she sipped from it. She didn’t toss it back and drink the whole thing. No, she savored it, because she’d said she didn’t want to waste it.
Travis didn’t care, though, because he didn’t want Lia to get drunk. The way things were headed, he could see tonight getting a whole hell of a lot more interesting.
He caught another look that Lia darted between him and Cam. Both of them were stripped down to nothing but their boxers. Socks were gone too. Lia, in contrast, had only removed her necklace and a single sock.
The woman was a fucking card shark, and goddamn if Travis didn’t find that hot as hell. He shook his head.
“How’d you learn to play cards like a Vegas poker legend?” Travis asked.
Lia shrugged, looking completely at ease on the cushion next to Cam. Which was fucking phenomenal. He wanted her chilled out and comfortable with them—and the fact that she wasn’t freaking when the clothes started to come off was a good sign indeed.
“My dad played when I was a kid. He taught my brother and me. I went to poker night once a week at my brother’s place until…” her words trailed off and her expression darkened. “You know. Until the shit went down.”
Both Travis and Cam’s attention landed on the same thing. “You have a brother? How the hell didn’t we know that?” Cam demanded.
This time, Lia grabbed the shot and tipped it back, swallowing until the glass was empty. She set it on the table with a crack.
“Because he’s dead.”