Chapter 21
I woke up the next morning with such a leaden stomach that I was surprised I hadn't sunk right through the mattress and to the floor. As the reality of what day it was hit me I jack-knifed upright in bed and just about gave myself whiplash turning my head to see what time it was. I was terrified the boys would have slipped out early leaving me, as was the usual case, completely in the dark about what they were spending the 19th of September doing. I was relieved, then, to see that it was only 7 in the morning and even more relieved when my ears picked up Matt's snores coming from the room over.
Lying back down and pulling the covers tightly around myself I tried to get back to sleep but I soon realised that it was going to be impossible. I couldn't trick my brain into thinking that this was just another Sunday morning, it wasn't possible.
Sighing, I pulled back the bedclothes and decided to hit the bathroom while the boys were still in bed. I took a risk of them disappearing on me, but at least I wouldn't have to fight for the bathroom or go in after one of them. I hate going into the bathroom after Matt or Jack have been in there. Somehow, and I'm really not sure how, they manage to completely soak the entire room. It always looks like someone has turned a sprinkler on in there; with water all up the walls, spattering the toilet seat, droplets sliding down the mirror and so on every time they go in there to have a shower. And don't even get me started on the towels! They are always sopping wet! It’s like they start to towel off when they're still in the shower!
Anyway, the bathroom was mercifully dry and I took no time in stripping off my pjs and stepping into the shower. I played with the temperature until I got it one step away from painfully scalding and tipped my head down into the spray, letting the water sluice down my neck and back. I stayed this way for several minutes, trying to release the tension in my shoulders, before reaching for my shampoo.
A while later, as I was just rinsing the conditioner out of my hair, I heard the bathroom door open. We do have a lock on our bathroom door and I did lock it but it is used more as a way of letting people know someone is inside rather than actually to keep people out. By the use of a knife or just a fingernail it was more than easy to simply unlock the door and walk in. I myself had done it to Matt and Jack many a time if they were just doing stupid things with their hair and I needed to brush my teeth or something.
Still, it was a little disconcerting to hear the door open when I was in the shower so I called out, "Hey I'm in here!"
Only to hear Matt's sarcastic reply, "Oh so that's where the sound of running water is coming from."
I opened my mouth to tell him to 'sod off' but before I could he spoke again, his voice loud so I could hear him over the hiss of the water.
"Come out, I want to talk to you."
Thrown by his serious tone, but I suppose, not all that surprised that he wanted to talk to me, I shut off the water and started to wring out of my hair.
"Do I have to do this talk naked?" I asked after a moment when the beads of water on my skin began to cool.
In reply Matt stuck his hand around the shower curtain and held my towel out to me. I took it and wrapped myself up before pulling back the curtain and stepping out of the tub.
My brother was leaning back against the sink, his arms folded and his face serious beneath the fuzz of beard which was the result of him slacking off from shaving for a couple of days.
"Are you sure this couldn't wait until I've gotten dressed?" I grumbled, feeling the shock of cold air on my damp skin even more keenly when not kept in a cocoon of mist by the shower curtain.
Matt gave me a look which clearly told me that there would be no cutesy time wasting that morning. "I'm your brother," he said flatly, "it's not like I'm looking."
There wasn't really anything to say in response to that so I shelved my concern over the chill and sat down on the toilet set, using the edges of my towel to begin to dry myself off.
"So? You wanted to talk to me?" I asked, wanting to get the ball rolling and interested, although a little apprehensive, to know what he had to say.
"Yeah." Matt's voice had that husky, early morning, edge to it. "You need to leave."
So there was really going to be no dillydallying around then! I froze, my hands stilling.
"Excuse me?" For one terrifying moment I thought he meant he was kicking me out of the flat for good, images flew through my brain, times my brother could have seen Jack and me together. I was just beginning to berate myself for letting Jack put his arm around me at the uni bar (I mean seriously, anyone could have seen that!) when I caught his eye and realised that, although he was certainly serious, Matt wasn't furiously angry or hurt like he would have been if he knew what was really going on. Feeling some of the terrified stupor I was in slipping away I asked cautiously, "How do you mean?"
"Don't pretend you don't know what today is," Matt scoffed, seeming not to have noticed my momentary freak out and instead fiddling distractedly with his facial hair. "Look," he abruptly turned away from me and began filling the sink with water, "today has nothing to do with you so just go to Simone's or something, OK?"
I blinked in surprise, my forehead wrinkling with confusion. I could see Matt's face reflected in the mirror above the sink, he still looked dreadfully solemn and yet I didn't believe what he'd just said. There was no way he really thought that I was just going to walk away from the flat, from Jack, on today of all days. I sat in dumbstruck silence watching as Matt splashed water over his face and reached for the shaving cream. As he lathered his face I was reminded uncomfortably about the last time I had watched someone shaving and I tore my eyes away from the mirror and looked determinedly at the floor instead.
"Go on then," Matt said as he pulled the razor down his cheek leaving clean, shiny pink skin in its wake. "I'll call you tomorrow and let you know when you can come back if you're worried we're going to go up to Bridunna without you."
This snapped me out of my astonished silence and I jerked my head back up to face him, feeling my wet hair slap against my neck as I did so.
"You think that's what I'm worried about?" I snapped unbelievingly. "God you are so stupid! I'm worried about Jack!" I heard my voice reach the outer edges of the realm of shrillness and took a deep breath to keep the hysterical note at bay. "Of course I know what day it is, but I'm not just going to leave," I continued more quietly but with definite purpose. "I live here too and Jack is a huge part of my life," much bigger than you know I added silently, "and there is no way I'm going to let you shut me out."
Matt had been speed shaving as I spoke and at the last he pulled away and a drop of crimson blood appeared on his neck where he had nicked himself with the razor. He swore under his breath and wiped at the blood, smearing it across his skin, before meeting my eyes in the reflection of the mirror.
"I can't believe you're throwing a hissy fit about being left out," he said angrily. "For God’s sake, Talia, for once in your life think about somebody else, would you? This isn't about us shutting you out, this is about this day being none of your business!"
He attacked his bristles with the razor once more as I gaped at him in disbelief, stung by his harsh words. Matt's colour was high from his anger and I knew that I would have two spots of colour on my cheeks too, as if I had been slapped physically instead of just figuratively. The family resemblance at that moment would have been very obvious.
As I felt my disbelief morph slowly into anger I stood up off the toilet seat and threw my brother a defiant look. "Forget it, Matt," I said, summing up all the cold authority I could muster. "The answer is no, I'm not leaving."
I made to march out of the bathroom, but my fingers had barely brushed the doorknob when I felt Matt's hand close around my elbow and pull me back around to face him. More blood from his cut had beaded out and dripped down his neck adding to the rather scary look he was giving me.
"You make it sound like I'm asking you," he said steadily and my mouth closed with such a snap that my teeth clacked together
painfully.
My Matt, my jokey, irreverent, larrikin Matt was nowhere to be seen and instead a strange, stern stranger stood before me. Presumably seeing my alarmed look he released my arm gently but his expression did not soften any. Reigning in my childish impulse to hit him and tell him he was mean, I wrapped my towel tighter about myself and exited the bathroom, my head held high.
Turning the corner to go to my bedroom I came face to face with Jack. Obviously looking like total stranger was going to be a running theme for the day because he looked really weird. His mouth was stretched into a taut, painful looking grin and he held himself so tightly I thought that at any second he was going to go 'boing!' and jump around the room like a released spring. Basically he looked like a maniac and, despite what had just happened in the bathroom, I turned to Matt, who had followed me into the main room, for explanation and comfort.
He touched my shoulder briefly in reassurance and said to me, in a pathetic imitation of his real relaxed tone, "Ready to go then?"
I was about to try an appeal to Jack to let me stay when I noticed Matt's eyes flicker over my head to Jack and then quickly come back to rest on me and I suddenly realised what was going on. Turning back to look at Jack I said accusingly, "You asked him to tell me to leave, didn't you?"
Jack froze, his eyes glazed over with that funny, faraway look I thought I had cured him off, and all the fight went out of me. "Fine, I get it," I said softly, finding that at least I was relieved that the coldness between Jack and Matt had dissolved. "I'll get dressed and go to Simone's."
Still, as I skirted round Jack and disappeared inside my bedroom, I couldn't help noticing that my heart was pounding heavily with disappointment and worry as it made its, by now familiar, descent down into my feet.
So Much to Learn Page 37