She drew alongside it and chose to go left, taking her farther away from the homes of the pack and Redemption, farther away from civilization. Slowing to a walk, still breathing heavily from her exertions, she lifted her snout and took in the smells. Nothing out of the ordinary. Animals, pine and hardwoods, wild roses, the faded scent of the last patrol through this area. The wolf would have frowned if possible. The scent was too faded, days old. She made a mental note to review the roster and find out if this area had been overlooked or if someone was shirking their duty. Maybe it was time to rearrange all the patrols. Shake things up a bit. She’d discuss it with Liza tonight.
If she could get free of Ethan and Harris long enough for a few words with her paladin. She needed to talk to her. They’d been friends since they could walk, had fought their way up in the pack together. Gabby was the only person who wasn’t surprised when Liza became paladin. The woman could out stubborn a mule and was loyal to a fault. Paladin was the perfect position for her. Like the legends from Charlemagne’s time, modern-day paladins were werewolves, knights sworn to the defense of their leaders. Though nowadays that meant the pack’s alpha and beta, and instead of many, every pack had only one.
That’s where she should have gone instead of taking off into the woods. Liza understood how she felt about mating, and she might snicker through it, but she’d let Gabby rant to her heart’s content. If it were possible, the wolf would have heaved a sigh. Instead, she turned into the woods and found a path that would take her to the alpha’s house and her best friend.
Her goal wasn’t so far away though. She reached the large cleared area they used for gatherings in minutes. The place was buzzing with activity as pack members set up tables, laughing and joking with each other. Her mood immediately lightened at their joy. The pack was one big extended family, and she always felt better in a group of them.
Liza’s scent came to her on the slight breeze, and she veered in another direction to follow it. She found the woman sitting on a huge boulder, rubbing the small of back, and grumbling at one of her mates, Caleb, the pack’s alpha.
“I’m pregnant. Not broke.”
Gabby bit back a grin. She knew this was a sore point. One, they kept trying to coddle her. And two, she wasn’t just pregnant. She was past due, tired and grumpy. Gabby knew better than try to assure her friend no one had ever been pregnant forever. Her males were not that bright, and Gabby winced in sympathy when Caleb spoke.
“I know that, but there’s no point in tiring yourself further. The pack can live without your help for one day. The babies will be born any time now, and then you can dive right back in.”
Then Caleb muttered not quite low enough, “Hopefully, any hour now.”
Before Liza could strangle him — and judging by the look in her eyes, she really wanted to — Zach walked into the little clearing. He looked to where Gabby was sitting in the trees and grinned, then yanked his shirt off and tossed it towards her.
“You better come help, Gabby. I’ve never heard of a paladin killing his, or her, alpha before, but I’d have to say he asked for it.”
She hurried to shift, tugging her beta’s shirt over her head when she was done. It fell to midthigh, and she walked across the pine needle strewn ground to join Liza on the rock. By the time she got there, she had the undivided attention all of three of them. Then, because things weren’t bad enough, Jonas showed up. He looked her up and down, his gaze coming to rest on her neck. With a chuckle, he shook his head.
“So the mighty has finally fallen, huh?”
She couldn’t hold in the growl. “Not fond of having your head attached, huh?” she snapped back.
That just made him laugh more. He was grinning when he stopped, and cocking his head to the side took a deep breath. “Ethan. And Harris?”
“Well, isn’t that interesting,” Liza said and made a shooing motion with her hand. “Go away, gentlemen. It’s girl talk time.”
“But I want to hear what she has to say,” Zach, always the teaser, said but Liza just stared him down.
He assumed a pathetic pleading face. Laughing, Liza waved her hand at them again, her intent clear. There weren’t any more objections, and all three men went back into the woods in the direction of the pack circle.
“Spill it, girlfriend,” Liza ordered when they were far enough away they couldn’t overhear.
Gabby had no idea where to start. “It just sorta happened.”
Liza gave her a frank, assessing look that Gabby was rarely on the wrong end of. It made her fidget uncomfortably.
“Right,” she finally said and lowered her voice. “You said you needed two days off. I know you go to Harris when the heat takes over, but you’ve never let Ethan anywhere near you during that time. You’ve never let him close enough to mark you. Never let the sex get that out of control. So what happened?”
Gabby sighed, but the story started to spill out. Liza halted her with a frown. “He used a potion on you? That’s not cool.”
She snorted. “That’s what I said. He said he’d reverse if I gave him a week, but then, things got even more intense, and well, it’s too late now. Even if he reverses it, the bond is still there.”
“Yeah. I’ve heard some wizards can do that bonding thing, but it’s uncommon.” Liza looked surprised at that. “They don’t like to leave themselves vulnerable.”
“What do you know about it? How does it make them vulnerable?” She’d take any ammo she could get. Liza was half wolf, born and raised in the pack, but her mother was a witch, and Liza knew a lot about that world.
“Hey,” a voice greeted behind them, and they turned to welcome Harper. “Jonas said y’all were hiding out here.”
Gabby was glad to see her. What Liza and her mom didn’t know, Harper would, being the daughter of the wizards’ leader. Harper came closer and leaned one hip against the rock, brows drawn together in a scowl.
“I was just telling Gabby about wizard bonds.”
Harper’s scowl deepened. “Too late for warnings, I’d say.”
Gabby’s chest went tight. Did she need to be warned? But Liza said it made Harris vulnerable too. “Tell me.”
The witches exchanged a look, and Harper shrugged one shoulder. “It’s a psychic bond. Our worlds are very different. Wizards use that bond to keep track of their wives. They can spy on their emotions, their movements. Sometimes their thoughts, if they have enough telepathic ability.”
Gabby knew Harper had grown up in a cold world, but the way her voice changed, the way her eyes dimmed, Gabby knew it was worse than cold. Monstrous.
“You can…feel this bond?”
Harper bit her bottom lip and nodded. “I can see it, like a shimmer around you.”
Liza cocked her head to one side. “Do you see wolf bonds?”
“No. Different kind of bond.”
“Harris said that. One is blood, the other psychic.”
Harper nodded again. “Yes, exactly.”
“And there’s no way to break it?”
“No, sorry. Only if one of you dies.”
“That might be arranged,” Gabby growled.
“Well, let’s not go that far yet,” Liza said and turned to Harper. “Mom said, whether the wizards like it or not, their bonds are not one-sided. That it works for the mate as well.”
Harper thought it over. “That would make sense. It’s not something they talk about with women, so I can’t say for sure.” She looked at Gabby. “You could test it though.”
“How?”
“Focus on him and let everything else go. Don’t let anything else intrude on your thoughts. You’ve been close to him. You felt his power at least once before. See if you can feel it now.”
Gabby was curious yet reluctant. Would she draw his attention to her if she was successful? In the end, she was too inquisitive to not give it a try. She closed her eyes, called his image into her mind, the feel of his power around her, and kind of wished to know where he was. And suddenly, just like
that, she felt that power surround her again. He was in her house, prowling like a pissed off, worried cat. It startled her so much, she lost the connection and opened her eyes.
“It works.” She grinned, wondering how she could use this to turn the tables on him.
“Okay. So Harris used a potion and both of them marked you. You managed to avoid everyone all day, so I’m still sadly lacking in details here.”
“What potion?” Harper interrupted. She looked more and more disturbed as Gabby explained.
“How much do we know about this guy?” Harper asked nervously.
“He’s been here at least ten years. Showed up when he was seventeen or eighteen.” Liza paused with a shrewd look at Harper. “Jonas trusts him. They’re friends. And Ethan’s been with him for at least a couple years. But you’re right. It makes me suspicious too. Think you can get a read on him, Harper?”
“Probably,” she answered.
Liza turned to Gabby. “He’ll be here tonight, right? The gatehouse told me earlier he came in with Ethan.”
She didn’t like it. What he’d done with the potion was sneaky and underhanded, sure. And not asking her before he bonded to her pissed her off, but it wasn’t any different from what most werewolf males did. She wasn’t happy about any of it, but she didn’t think it made him untrustworthy. It hurt to think he might be untrustworthy.
“Gabby?” Liza prodded.
She nodded. “He’s at my cabin.” She jumped off the rock. “And I better get back there so I can get some clothes on.”
“Not so fast,” Liza stopped her with that paladin tone in her voice. She pointed at the boulder. “Sit.”
Well, shit. She could walk away from her friend, but not her paladin. She leaned back against the large rock once again the focus of Liza’s perceptive gaze. “You didn’t avoid me all day, then come find me now because of the potion. I’m guessing it was because you found out about his bond.”
Sighing, she nodded. “Bad enough being mated to one. To a werewolf. But two men? One a wizard? No offense to y’all, but I don’t know what he can do. Or why he’s here. Or anything.”
One side of Liza’s mouth kicked up. “Maybe you should ask him.”
Gabby glared back.
“Right,” Liza drawled. “That would require you get to know a male. Let one get to know you. And you’ve worked damned hard to not get involved.” Her voice softened, and she winked. “Honey, it’s not all bad, you know.”
She blew out a breath, reluctant to voice her questions, her concerns, but knowing she could trust Liza and Harper. Knowing they wouldn’t scoff or think less of her. “Do you think it’s possible to be strong and dominant publically, with the pack. And be something else privately? Personally?”
“Absolutely,” they answered in unison.
Gabby was a little surprised to hear Harper say that, but maybe she shouldn’t be. She looked over to meet her gaze. When the witch had joined them, she was beaten down, defeated by that cold world she came from. Meek and submissive in the worst unhealthy way. The longer she stayed in the pack though, the more outgoing and assertive she became. Harper smiled.
“I’m not a telepath, but I know what you’re thinking, Gabby. I was so afraid. So afraid they would completely take me over. I thought I’d have no will of my own. That I was leaving one nightmare for another. But…” She laughed. She was almost giddy as she spoke of her mates. “They actually make me stronger.”
Gabby could see that was true. “But Harper, honey,” she said gently. “You had to be stronger to be with them. It’s not the same.”
“You think you have to be weaker?” Liza asked, always the shrewd one.
“Don’t I? Neither me or my wolf will be happy if they’re weaker, and I can’t stand the idea of spending the rest of my life fighting with my mates to keep my place in the pack. I just can’t accept less. If I could be one thing in private and this me, the old me, with everyone else, maybe I could do that. But they’re both alpha males. Ethan especially will try to take over my entire life. You know he will. He can’t help himself.”
“Ya think?”
“Yeah, I think,” she snapped back sarcastically.
“Gabby.” Shit. The paladin voice again. “Ethan could have challenged for your position years ago, and he would have won it.”
“So he waited till he could win me over?” She didn’t even care all the bitterness shone through.
“No,” Liza said, shaking her head. “He didn’t do it because it made you feel more secure. Because you worked so hard to keep him at a distance, it was all he could do. And because, frankly, it doesn’t affect the security of the pack. The difference in your ranks is negligible. You essentially do the same jobs.”
“Well, he doesn’t have that excuse anymore, does he,” she whispered. Oh hell. Her rank and her job were the only things she was sure of.
“This is something you really should be talking to him about, Gabby,” she said, and it was the friend not the superior in the voice now. “It’s not all conflict, you know. It doesn’t have to be. My private relationship is not on display for the pack. No reason yours should be either.”
Liza didn’t have to say what she was really thinking. Gabby knew. Liza kept her personal relationship as private as possible, unlike Gabby’s parents, who were known pack wide for their volatility.
“And yes,” Liza went on. “You can let go, you should be able to let go, privately, with your mates.”
Liza said it with such conviction, such faith, but Gabby wasn’t sure she had any. She swallowed hard and stood, wanting only to be inside the safety of her house while these thoughts consumed her.
“I need to get back. Thanks.” She nodded to include Harper. “I appreciate it.”
She was grateful they’d shared their experiences, that they understood her fears, but in the end she left more confused as when she’d started. She ran home using werewolf speed but without shifting, dimly aware of the damage it was doing to her bare human feet. It didn’t matter to her, but she was so lost in her worries she didn’t realize they were both still in her house until she entered. She didn’t realize until she’d slammed the door behind her and Ethan growled.
Her response was instinctive and mean, and she knew when she snapped her head around to look at him her eyes glowed yellow. He stood in the middle of her hall, chest bare, jeans zipped but unbuttoned. The smell of sex was heavy in the air. They’d entertained themselves while she was gone.
“Why are you still here?”
He slid forward slowly. Stalked. She stood her ground, refusing to be cowed.
“Why do you smell of our beta?” he practically snarled.
She’d completely forgotten about the gray T-shirt she was wearing. “I shifted to talk to Liza. He gave it to me so I wouldn’t be naked.”
Oh my gods. She wanted to slap herself, the explanation came out so fast, without any thought.
“Take it off. Take it off now, Gabby,” he demanded and if she hadn’t seen a hint of claws poking through his fingertips, she would have delayed. Would have argued against his trying to dominate her. She’d never seen him like this though, out of control of his wolf.
She pulled the shirt over her head and tossed it into the corner. Ethan heaved a sigh and came closer. He lifted a hand, claws gone now, and his fingers stroked her cheek. “Where did you run off to? Why?”
She ducked under his arm, feeling exposed down to her bones, and tried to hurry down the hall while looking like she wasn’t running away. Harris caught her elbow when she passed the archway into the living room and tugged her inside.
Chapter Eight
Ethan still wasn’t thinking straight. She’d taken off, angry and confused, and returned with Zach’s scent on her. He knew in his head she hadn’t fucked their beta. She wouldn’t let Zack touch her, and he wasn’t interested. But the sane, rational human side wasn’t exactly in control right now. Harris shielded her, and that just pissed him off more.
He
prowled into the living room behind them and snarled when Harris tried to step in front of her. “Don’t. Don’t do that.” Reluctantly, Harris stepped aside, but Ethan didn’t get closer to her.
He was too furious. He didn’t trust himself. He’d never been so angry at her before, and he’d had cause to be plenty angry over the years.
“Where did you go?”
“I ran the perimeter some. I talked to Liza and Harper. It’s not a big deal, Ethan.”
He wanted to shake her. He wanted to yell at her. He wanted to kiss the hell out of her until she stopped resisting him.
“Running. Again. Always running, Gabby.”
He paced. It was the only way to stop himself from grabbing her, from begging her to just stop this nonsense already and accept him. Accept Harris. Stop fighting. He knew how much she hated discord, so why was she doing this?
“What do you expect me to do, Ethan? Just let you take over?”
Good gods, was she still hung up on this?
“I expect you to talk to me.” He took a couple steps closer. “I expect you to tell me what you’re feeling. What you’re afraid of.” Two more steps. “I expect you to not come home smelling of another man. Talk to me, Gabby. Please.”
He was close enough to touch her now and that irrational rage was fading. He set his hands on her shoulders. He finally noticed, really noticed, she was naked, breathing fast and deep, her skin flushed rosy with the high emotions in the room. He could smell them, a skill all lupines shared: anger and jealousy and protectiveness and yes, even lust. He pulled her close, kissed the soft skin under her ear.
“Talk to me, baby,” he whispered.
He was stunned at how quickly she spun away, moving toward the window and standing with the loose limbed fighter’s grace he knew so well. Subtly aggressive, ready to pounce. He knew every detail of her, but he was surprised to see this here, now. He held his hands wide. “I’ve never been a danger to you,” he said firmly.
Her lips twisted in a way that some would have called a smile, but he knew her too well. “Are you going to challenge me for my rank now that you’ve marked me?”
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