by C. J. Abedi
He whispered the last words. What would it be like to have Devilyn feel all those emotions for me? He didn’t realize how completely romantic and heartbreaking his words were at the same time. Little girls grow up dreaming of such a love and to have a man say what he just did as if he knew what it meant. I didn’t know why but I could feel tears begin to form in my eyes.
“Have you ever felt that?” I couldn’t stop the words.
He looked over at me.
“I’ll tell you another time.”
We were both quiet for a moment. I guessed that he had felt that way if he didn’t want to talk about it with me. For some reason it made me sad to think that he had.
“I’m finally starting to see how wise my grandfather is, and I realize that I’ve made some pretty juvenile mistakes when it comes to friends and more importantly, with girlfriends.” Devilyn cleared his throat and started the engine in his car as he turned out of my driveway.
“Well, I’m looking forward to meeting him,” I said trying very hard to ignore Devilyn’s last comment. “If he’s lived on the Island for as long as I think he has, he’ll probably be able to answer a lot of the questions that have been running through my mind.”
“He probably will.”
“What exactly did you say about me?” I blurted out, almost cursing myself for even wondering what it was that Devilyn had said to his grandfather. “I mean, I just want to make sure I don’t disappoint anyone.”
Devilyn smiled and began twisting his hands around his steering wheel.
“I told him about how remarkable you are, smart, kind-hearted, and beautiful.” He stared straight ahead, not once looking in my direction.
But I looked over.
Right away.
As soon as the words came out of his mouth.
I froze.
And couldn’t take my eyes off of his profile. My heart was pounding at the compliment I wasn’t prepared to hear.
I quickly looked away, relieved that he hadn’t looked over at me. If he had, he would have seen my mouth drop to the floor. He did it again. Said things that made my heart do somersaults.
“No comment?” Devilyn asked with a smile. I knew he could sense my nervousness.
“I don’t know what to say,” I said as I twitched uncomfortably with the metal spiral of my notebook. “Well, I mean, thank you for saying such sweet things about me. It’s very kind of you.”
“Kind of me?” he asked. I thought I could hear the humor in his voice.
“Well, yes,” I all but croaked out. When he didn’t respond I looked over at him. For a second I thought I saw stars in his eyes because everything there told me to believe him. That he meant what he said. But as usual something in my heart told me to be careful.
“I mean every word,” he said in a tone that I’d never heard before.
D
“I know,” she replied in a soft voice.
I wanted her to know that I wasn’t lying. I wanted her to believe that she meant something to me, that these hours we had spent together over the past few months were slowly beginning to chip away at the black metal surface that enclosed my heart. I wanted her to know that she was an inspiration and that despite the odds that faced us, I was holding on to hope. Hope that she would begin to trust me. Hope that I could guarantee her survival. And ultimately, hope that she would love me.
I wasn’t ready to face why I wanted her to feel that emotion for me quite yet. I just knew that I did. At this moment. In this time. With a ferocity that I had never known. I wanted her to love me.
She sat silently, occasionally fidgeting with her notebook and pen for the remainder of the ride. I knew that she was going over what I had said in her mind. I had told her she was beautiful before, but evidently she didn’t believe it.
She was. And she needed to know it.
Hear it. Until she believed it.
I wanted her to be as comfortable with me as I was with her. I wanted her to relax. I wanted her to say something.
Anything.
But she didn’t.
She finally looked up when we were far enough away from town and began surveying the surroundings. She glanced up at the road leading to Westmoreland as if she had never seen it before.
She had probably driven by it a million times but apparently had never paid close attention.
I wanted to take it all in. Watch her experience the feeling and transformation that all of the Fae undergo deep within the forest. Once we enter the lush trees, the transformation is immediate. Within us and in the forest we inhabit.
I could hear her breathing pattern calm and feel the stillness that overcame her. Not from nerves or uncertainty, but from a strange and unknowing familiarity. She looked over at me and couldn’t help but smile.
She didn’t need to say anything.
I knew.
And deep down, I knew that she did too.
Caroline was finally home.
A home that her mind may not have immediately recognized, but she undoubtedly felt a connection that was instantaneous and deep within her soul.
“It’s so beautiful.”
“I know.”
“So peaceful.”
“Yes, it is.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever been on this road before,” Caroline said in awe. “I can’t believe how remarkable it is. The trees are so tall and lush and so green.”
They were.
What Caroline didn’t know was that they were magik trees. The most sacred of all Fae plant life. They protected its inhabitants, were full green and lush with beauty year around. They were old with wisdom, and if you spoke to them they would speak back to your soul.
“You’re so lucky to be surrounded by this beauty,” she continued as her eyes sparkled with joy.
She was right. I was lucky to be surrounded by such beauty. But I wasn’t thinking about the trees or the land.
“I’m finally beginning to fully appreciate it.”
Moments later, we came upon the large iron gates and entrance to the surrounding fortress that I had called home. She smiled at me as we both waited for the gates to open. The road leading to the house was a long and winding one. I drove through the orange and rust-colored leaves that lay on the ground and made my way to the circular driveway at the front.
Odin wasn’t waiting outside, as I knew he had wanted to. But I knew that he was most likely pacing back and forth in the grand foyer, barking out orders to anyone who would listen. Tonight he wanted everything to be perfect. He had tended to every detail, ensuring that she wouldn’t feel out of place, or worse yet unwelcome.
He wanted her to feel at home.
A feeling we both shared.
I knew she had never seen a place quite like ours before. To say that it was grand was an understatement. To call it a mansion would demean it. It should have been a historical monument. Treasured, protected, and worshipped.
Ironically similar to its new guest.
“Ready?”
She laughed and shook her head. “I guess.”
“He won’t bite. I promise.”
“I know that,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I’m just a little overwhelmed by all of this. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything quite like it.”
“Let’s go inside, and I’ll show you around.”
She opened the car door and waited for me to join her as we made our way up the stone stairs leading to the large wood and iron doors. I reached out and pushed open the doorknob and waited for her to enter.
Caroline walked at a snail’s pace and kept glancing behind herself to make sure I was following. I knew she was intimidated, and for some strange reason it was the last feeling I wanted her to have.
She had never lived like I had, and although I’m sure she was in awe by the sheer opulence of Odin’s home, I could also imagine how intimidating it probably was.
“Grandfather,” I called out, knowing that he was
probably hiding nearby. “We’re here.”
“I’m in the study, son.” His deep voice echoed through the halls.
“Follow me,” I told Caroline.
She nodded and grasped the handle of her backpack as we walked down the long, wood-paneled hallway that led to his study. The room was my favorite. The bookshelves held every first edition ever made. Rich and deep crimson-colored Persian carpets covered the wood floors, while the musky scent of cigars lightly masked the room.
“Welcome,” Odin said as he rose from behind his desk. “I’ve been expecting you for a long time, my dear.”
I had hoped that he would have refrained from wearing his typical attire, as he was usually dressed like some type of sorcerer or wizard, and instead opt for more modern garb, but Odin was a creature of habit. There he stood with open arms, wearing gold-rimmed glasses and a deep silvery-gray velvet robe with silver patterns adorned throughout, waiting patiently to greet her properly.
“Hello sir,” she replied in a low voice as she reached out her hand to his. “My name is Caroline Ellis.”
“Caroline,” he said as he inspected her. I wondered what he was thinking. “Yes, yes I know. Such a pleasure. Devilyn hasn’t been able to stop talking about you since he started at his new school.”
She smiled graciously at him and gave me a questioning look.
“Please, have a seat,” he continued, pointing to the two large leather chairs that faced his expansive mahogany and gold-encrusted desk. “Devilyn, do join her. I’ve called for dinner so we have a few moments together before we dine.”
“You have an incredibly beautiful home. You have lovely things everywhere,” Caroline said as she started to nervously tug on the bottom of her sweater.
“Thank you. But it is not about our possessions but about a life well lived,” he replied, unable to wipe the grin off his face.
Odin was elated. I had never seen such a happy look on his face. His happiness defied words and human comprehension. It was in the way he looked at her, the way he couldn’t stop smiling, and the way he kept looking over at me as if to say, ‘See, I told you she’d be everything you wanted.’
“These books you have in here, have you actually read them all?” Caroline asked innocently as she glanced around the room.
“I believe I’ve read ninety percent of them. But I’m quite sure that Devilyn has read them all.” Odin smiled at me. “He is quite the avid reader.”
“My grandfather has the tendency of exaggerating sometimes,” I quickly interrupted him.
“Well Devilyn is really smart, so that doesn’t surprise me,” Caroline loyally replied.
“Who is your favorite author?” Odin asked as he rose and began walking toward the wooden bookshelves. He paced back and forth with his hands behind his waist as he waited for Caroline to reply.
“Mine has always been Milton. I have a special fondness for Paradise Lost. To think that he was blind and recited the work to his daughter is inspiring,” Odin told Caroline as she nodded in agreement.
“It is a special piece of literature. But my favorite author?” She smiled nervously. “I’ve never really thought about it before.”
She stood up and looked around the room. She started to scan the titles. “We’ve covered Bronte, HG Wells, Shakespeare, Jane Austen, Poe.”
“The Raven?” Odin asked quizzically.
“No, not so much.” She smiled and shook her head, “The title alone is frightening enough.”
“Poe was a beautiful soul. A very talented man.” Odin eyes lit up with laughter. “Romeo and Juliet? Always a crowd-pleaser. A favorite of the ladies.”
“Star-crossed lovers, the worst kind,” I interjected, suddenly feeling an aching similarity to the Shakespearean characters.
“It is better to have love and lost,” Caroline said as she turned in my direction.
“Than to have never loved at all,” Odin finished her sentence.
I looked at the two of them and nodded, but my heart couldn’t have disagreed more.
Sensing that this conversation may take a turn for the worst, Odin turned to Caroline and continued in his quest to learn more about the girl before him.
“Okay my dear, I’m not letting you off the hook so easy. Favorite book.”
She smiled at him in delight and continued to forge forward. “I guess my favorite book would have to be Tolstoy’s A Confession.”
“Aha, searching for the true meaning of life,” Odin said as he laughed and began climbing up one of the ladders that faced his many bookshelves.
“Every attempt to be morally good is met with scorn,” I replied, feeling a deep connection to the author.
“Perhaps in his world, but not in this one,” Odin replied understanding the deep meaning behind my words. Turning back to the ladder, Odin continued climbing and muttering, “Tolstoy, Tolstoy, here it is.” He reached up and pulled the old book from blew away the dust that had accumulated on it.
“I seem to have a copy of it right here. Yes, yes, despite all odds and opposition, it’s important to always be true to yourself.”
Caroline nodded and smiled excitedly and walked toward him.
“Do you mind if I look at it?” she asked as her eyes widened. She was like a kid in a candy store.
“Look at it? It’s yours to keep,” Odin told her with his arms extended, handing Caroline the priceless treasure.
“Oh no! I could never take this,” Caroline replied shaking her head.
“Devilyn and I insist,” he said as he looked over at me. “I won’t take no for an answer, and you’ll find, my dear, that I can be incredibly persuasive.”
Caroline still shook her head.
“No, it’s too precious and far too valuable.”
“Well then, it’s the perfect gift for you,” I replied.
C
I took in a deep breath.
There was nothing I could say.
No witty response.
I was silenced.
And confused.
I spent the better half of our time in the library stealing quick glances at him, and I was careful to do it only when he wasn’t looking. I was searching desperately for a trace of the person I had grown to know over the past few months. But that person wasn’t there anymore. In his place was someone entirely different.
Someone I didn’t recognize.
He had done so much since his arrival to make it known that he wasn’t interested in me. For a while I had actually thought he despised me. But now, he was being so nice, so complimentary. It was almost the opposite. Since the night at Jordana’s party something had changed. Almost like he was seeing me in a different way. On the bus ride to Plymouth I had allowed myself to hope and to believe that this beautiful man was starting to fall for me.
The doubt crept back when I saw him smile at something his grandfather said.
He was too good.
Too perfect.
Why would he want me?
I promised myself that no matter how embarrassing it would be, I would let him know on the drive home that we could be friends, but the innuendos had to stop. Even though I was incredibly flattered, I couldn’t go on receiving confusing messages from him or anyone else anymore.
I was happy with my decision and determined to confront him on the drive home and be done with it.
I slowly rubbed my fingers across the cover of the beautiful book. Turning to the charming and mysterious older man, I reached out and handed him the first edition of Leo Tolstoy’s A Confession, a book I had read over and over.
So few words, yet so much meaning.
“I am so flattered that you would want to give me such a treasure, but I can’t take this gift. It belongs here in your beautiful home.”
Devilyn’s grandfather stared deep into my eyes and smiled brightly. Although he was dressed like a king, and obviously lived like one, there was something so comforting and familiar about him. I felt
a connection from the moment I entered their home. Well, if I was being honest, from the moment we turned down the road leading to it. It all felt strangely familiar.
Or maybe I was imagining things again.
“I learned in my younger days to never to argue with an intelligent and determined lady, so I respect the way you feel,” he told me seemingly saddened that I was returning his beautiful treasure. “But I would like to extend you another offer. You are welcome here at any time, on any day, and you are free to read any of the books in this library and in this house.”
“You may regret that,” I said to him with a smile. The thought of having free reign in the enormous library was beyond tempting. I could picture myself in the room for hours at a time; although no matter how tempting the offer was, I would never impose on the family in such a manner.
“Sir, forgive me, I do not mean to interrupt, but dinner is served,” the butler announced. I was surprised to see him in the room, as I hadn’t even heard him approach. It was as if he appeared out of thin air.
Dressed in a black suit, white shirt, and black bowtie, he fit the role of butler to perfection. I couldn’t even imagine what it must be like to live in such luxury—butlers, maids, chefs—it was shocking to know that anyone in Roanoke lived like this. I had so many questions running through my mind, none of which I would ever ask out loud.
I had to give Devilyn a lot of credit. Had it been anyone else, they certainly would have continually flaunted these excesses, but he was incredibly humble and unimposing.
We walked down the long wood-paneled corridor to their formal dining room. Devilyn’s grandfather, who walked in front of us, practically floated all the way down the hall. As soon as he reached the room, he turned and clapped his hands together.
“Perfection,” he said with a huge smile. “Dinner is my favorite meal of the day.”
When we reached the room, I could see why. It was unlike anything I had ever seen before. A large crystal chandelier hung from the center of the wall, crystals hung from the light fixture, each one larger than my entire hand and sparkling like diamonds. The long wooden table was entirely adorned with the most decadent food I had ever set eyes on. A rainbow of colors mixed in a sea of tasty delights.